Doctors are workaholics with a God complex. Sounds good to me...

I am once again employed....
somehow I never seem to be able to be employed for more than 1 and a half months...not my fault...
this time the pay's not as good but I can walk to work...haha...it's at guthrie house...so since I don't have to pay for transport it's a pretty good deal. Only problem is this time I hope they terminate my contract early, so I can do the BASF kids lab thing...it just looks so fun...I like doing kiddie experiments.

Staying home is a little stifling...there isn't much to do...studying 'A' level bio is just suffocating, You could choke on that much info at once. In sec 4, I didn't even know the cell had that much crap in it. Doing so much stuff in it. It's like I read...but don't absorb...unless it's like I unknowingly absorb. It has happened many times...when I get so freaked out because I don't feel full of content, then someone says something, the info just pours out of my mouth. It's a freaky thing, cos you don't even know you absorb, know or remembered what you studied until the very crucial moment. I really need black and white notes to tide me over. ANYBODY HAVE J2 BIO NOTES TO GIVE AWAY!?!??!

I like recently downloaded the whole 1st season of Grey's Anatomy...I like finished it in a day. Sound absolutely mundane? Tell me about it...But it was fun to watch.

Been doing half hour runs this week...but the thing is, it just gets boring running for 30 mins all alone...time just seems to pass so slowly when you run. But I must say when I'm done I feel good about myself. I didn't even know I could run for that long till that day I did it for the first time, I just amaze myself sometimes. Frankly, it scared me a little, it's like I don't really know myself and what I'm truly capable of.

Well...today was LaZy day!!!
I didn't have to get to work today...um...because I don't really have a job anymore...haha...
I watched 300 today...the men were so unreal, with EVERY man having like 6-8 packs.The movie was good...Iliked it very much. I like watching these kind of war movies like troy and 300 because their war tactics are just ab-so-lute-ly a mark of genius. Watched some TV, studied some bio, slept a little...somehow I think I almost came down with a flu and then I went out for a half hour run...omg...I swear I am amazed and yet my thighs haven't gotten any smaller or toned...there must be something wrong.

I'm tired as usual...
anyway...today was, not bad...although it was the last day of work...
for those of you who know that I'm actually on contract and a bit surprised...it's because the company found a perm staff to replace me. cos I definitely had no intention of staying on permenantly and they managed to get a perm staff they thought they'd better grab it...so now, dear gen is UNEMPLOYED again...haix...although I have to admit, i kinda wanted a break.

Apprently nobody knew it was like my last day today, so when it kind of slowly deseminated around the office after i told 3 people in my department. The day was somewhat filled with stuff to do...I didn't mind doing the filing today plus the usual quotations. Mr Yu brought the CST department to lunch and they bought me this chocolate cake with banana's in it as a tiny farewell gift. They were all saying why I didn't tell them it was my last day....i just didn't know how to say it...the only reason why the first three people knew is because they mentioned that i'd be here next week...haha.

I guess this is the best job i've had so far...the people are swell...they feed me like there's no tomorrow. My boss is truly a very nice man...he has that middle-aged man charm with charisma. He occasionally asks about you...unlike my last job where that woman was just a super-stressed out workaholic...haha. The people there were so nice...they were all wishing me all the best...and to let them know which hospital I'll be working at so they can get "free MC". These people I will truly miss...really...they're supposed to contact me to meet up with me for dinner. =)

Anyways...I shall be starting driving lessons in May...=)...weeee!!! I am happy...as you can see...shall have to head to BBDC to get the PDL tomorrow and I hope there isn't a long queue.

well i'm at the office...it's after lunch...seems like the most talked about thing right now is the US college massacre where a korean student went on a shooting rampage killing 33 people incuding himself.

After reading most of the articles...i just have to say how ab-so-lute-ly stupid the American
government is. For a country to even have such a thing as gun culture spells trouble if not potential chaos. I found this information on the CNA website 2 days ago.

"Buying and owning a gun in Virginia does not require a permit, but without a gun permit
only one handgun purchase per month is allowed, and there is no waiting period to acquire the gun.

Those with licenses can buy more than one gun during one month. A non-state resident has
to wait 10 days to acquire a weapon, or until he or she gets a positive report from the state police.

The law is broad enough to allow people to buy assault guns and magazines without limit such as AK-47s and Uzis, the Brady report points out on its website.

"Assault weapons are as easy to buy as hunting rifles," it says.

The state maintains "no restriction on the sale or possession of rapid-fire ammunition magazines that can fire up to 100 bullets without reloading".

The state does restrict people convicted of felony crimes from possessing firearms, and forbids giving or selling handguns to minors under 18, except from one family member to another.

But selling rifles and shotguns to children over 12 is permitted.

In one controversial loophole, people can buy weapons at second-hand gun shows without waiting periods or background checks.

Critics of the laws say it allows people to pay cash and take the gun away with no way to track them."

I was shocked at how lax the laws are, it just seems to have or not to have these laws doesn't really make a difference. Apparently "Virginia Governor Tom Kaine said it was insensitive to even discuss gun control at a time when the families of those killed needed to grieve" Why is it not the time? The only reason why this occured was due to the lack of gun control at both state and country level, would grieveing help return them a son, daughter, mother or father? Did it not occur that to address this issue now would help these people tide over their lose?

Perhaps i'm being too objective about this and unsympathetic towards these people...but what better time to bring this issue up and resolve all the loop holes and make sure it never happens to another 33 or more people? After we allow the families of the victims to grieve, the importance of this issue may slide and what is now known as 'The bloodiest school shootings in US history' would soon be forgotten, just like how the Columbine high school shooting did.

The freedom to do whatever we want whenever we want should NEVER trump the personal safety and security of a countrys' people. If that were so it would not make sense...simply because the people make a country. Without people...a country is just land. Isn't it?

Perhaps the Korean guy was mad, sick in the mind...but maybe there was a possibility that it could have been prevented. It was reported he was a loner...so far none of the reports have ny evidence of him even having friends. There could have been a high possibility that it was this loneliness that allowed this hatred in him to manifest and set loose this monster in him. If he had just one friend...it may have made a world of difference. Easier said than done is suppose...but little do any of us that our own actions could have such an effect on a person, to drive him to do such things. Just another POV i thought i'd just bring up, you don't have to share my views...but i just thought about it.

That was taxing on my brain...I haven't thought like that since GP....I feel old.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!!! muakz!!!

well...
just came back home from church and shall be heading out to give tuition soon...
yesterday was a good day...
went to work and talked to mr jonathan for a while after which i walked about in town waiting for baby to call me when he books out...
took 190 and met baby and his dad at lot 1 and to his house we went. The day passed really fast...haha...his mummy taught me how to make yam cake and it smelt so nice...i haven't tasted it thought, i did hear that a buit too much water was added into the mixture. napped for a while and before we knew it it was time to go for dinner.

headed to lot 1 to eat at different taste...and we met the tumble!!! OMG...she's so cute...2 month old jack russell terrier which chuangyang and michelle bought. He was sleeping in michelle's bag. In the car she woke up... we all started playing with her and the cutest thing was when she yawned. There was a chorus of 'aiyoh' when she did...back home she was just running around...teething at the wires althought we kept pulling her away from them...haha...

i want a doggie...and it's time for me to go...ciao!!

Cause all of the stars
Are fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see them some day
Take what you need
and be on your way
and stop crying your heart out

I'm so tired...
so tired that i could sit down somewhere and just stone and look like i'm some depressed emo teenager in the midst of a mid-life crisis...
a part of me just wants to give it up...but I was so sure of it from the start, sure that i could make it,but now...i just...i don't know what to do.

should i even tell you things? you speak to me as if i'm some dumb ass...when you are the stupid one asking me the same question again and again. wtf...you ALWAYS do this to me...one minute you encourage me to do something like you'll support me all the way and then you just cut me off, leaving me for dead. before you EVEN question what it is i am doing and if i even have to slightest CLUE as to what I am doing....just look at yourself...you're in one freaking mess of your own and there you go pointing fingers at other people like there's nothing wrong with you when you're so deep in your own shit! The both of you are like 2 kids fighting over a toy and it so happens that he got it instead of you, so you're just not talking to him till he gives it back to you. Like wtf...give it up already...I'm at my wit's end...about to explode.

Tell me there are people in this world worst of than me...but truthfully, i would rather shoot myself. I DO NOT DESERVE THIS!!! I don't wanna a conscience...I don't want to have to work because i worry what will happen if i don't...i don't want to live like this...i just...i want so badly to fix it. I don't want to come home always scared of messing up, it just makes my life absolutely miserable...i try so so hard...and it never seems to be enough.

BYE SEAN!!! don't you just love NS?? where boys become men...

well...i haven't been blogging much..
apparently it's becoming somewhat of a trend among people like me who have been like longterm blogging. By longterm blogging i mean about 2 years...

anyway, last night i passed my basic theory test....like i completed it in 10mins...and my dear sheryl baey is already doing the final theory...like wtf. private really sucks, i still need to go all the way back to BBDC to register for PDL like soon...before they make me wait like a year and by the time i get my license I'll be like 30..aaaah!! private really sucks...and school just had to be so expensive...

anyway...I shall be meeting erika later for dinner...not having seen her for oh so long and i shall be goin for lunch now...

Well...work is starting to get unbearable...I spent an entire day sorting out 2 months of quotation by customer....and why you may ask. Because they don't have an individual file in the filing cabinet. In addition, I was told to put it in alphabetical order. After, like 7/8 of the day I was extremely frustrated about it and just stuck all the Bs with the Bs and the so on. I mean even the effect that the continuous streaming of video had on me is wearing off. The stacking up of paper and making them sit neatly has also given me like 5 million paper cuts.

I feel like picking up dance class again...any takers?

You know when your birthday is, but how old should you really be getting married? (Just put an x next to the things that apply to you)

[x] I know how to make a pot of coffee.
[x] I keep track of dates using a calender.
[ ] I own more than one credit card. (i don't have any, heh!)
[ ] I know how to change the oil in a car.
[x] I know how to do my own laundry.
[ ] I vote every election.
[x] I can cook for myself ( just the basic stuff...instant noodles?)
[x] I think politics are exciting... (more like interesting...)
[ ] I balance my checkbook.
[ ] My parents have better things to say than my friends.
[ ] I show up for school/college/work every day early.
[x] I always carry a pen in my pocket/purse.
[ ] I've never gotten a detention.
[x] I have never smoked a cigarette.
[x] I have never gotten completely trashed.
[x] I have forgotten my own birthday at least once.
[x] I like to take walks by myself.
[x] I've watched talk shows.
[x] I know what credibility means without looking it up.
[ ] I drink coffee at least once a week.
[x] I know how to do the dishes.
[ ]I can count to 10 in another language.
[x] When I say I'm going to do something I do it.
[x] My parents trust me.
[ ] I can mow the lawn.
[x] I can make adults laugh without being stupid.
[ ] I remember to water the plants.
[x]I study when I have to.
[x] I pay attention at school/college.
[ ] I remember to feed my pets. (don't have any)
[x] I can spell experience without looking it up
[x] I work out on a regular basis.
[x] I clean up my own mess.
[ ] The people at Starbucks know me by name.
[ ] My favorite kind of food is take out.
[x] I have gained weight since middle/high school. (does on and off count?)
[ ] The first thing I do when I wake up is get caffeine.
[x] I can go to the store without getting something I don't need.
[x] I understand political jokes the first time they are said. (most of the time)
[x] I can type quickly.
[ ] I have realized that the weather forecast changes every hour.
[ ] My only friends are from my place of employment.
[ ] I have been to a Tupperware party.
[x] I have realized that no one will take you seriously unless you are over the age of 25 and have a job.
[ ] I have more bills than I can pay.
[ ] All my friends are older than I am.
[x] I can say no to staying out all night.
[x] I use the Internet every day.
[x] My wardrobe hasn't changed in a while. (sadly, i do want to revamp it)
[x] I can read a book and actually finish it.

30!!! That's like really old...yeeeeee...oh well...

I'm in a rather pleasant mood today...
perhaps it's due to the fact that I didn't have to meet with the rush hour that I've been meeting with for the pasts few days commuting between orchard and buona vista.

I swear...after all this time travelling on the mrt, I have seen so much that I am disgusted with...yesterday has had to be the worst. I mean there a few common ones like not standing to one side of the escalator, by side i mean the left...I mean some people are rushing and need to get on a train fast or they just need to be somewhere fast so give way!!!! I don't get it...and they just stand on any side they wantmaking people zig-zag around them...which by the way is a terrible feeling when you're rushing. The other thing is people just DON'T move to the centre of the carriage...I mean I always do and it feels weird....cos there's like a humongous jam at the doors and where I am it's rather empty...crowding at the door just makes it so hard for people to get on.

However, yesterday was different all thanks to a certain malay woman. She was sitting, chatting with her friend and at the next stop her friend alighted and vacated a corner seat. so I headed towards it cos I still had like 6 stops more. She slid over to the corner seat, thereby vacating the seat she was previously in...I reached the now vacated seat and then this women leaned her body towards the empty seat, blocking me from sitting down. she patted the seat and gestured to her other friend further away to come sit there. She did not even acknowledge my presence...I was just standing right in front of the seat, all I had to do was turn around and sit...and she ignored me. Woman, just tell me "sorry, my friend is coming to sit here" I'd understand...it's natural for people to prefer to sit next to people they are familiar with.

sometimes i think some people shouldn't be given brains cos there's like no difference between the way they function with or without it.

I dislike public trasport. I am so gonna drive. And when I get sick of traffic jams and disgusting road etiquette, I shall get me self a plane and fly to where I want to go. a helicopter will be good too.