Time and time again

Another period of unhappiness solved by me saying "sorry"

No matter what my opinion is, I don't feel it's worth it to discuss or talk about anything. The responses are too predictable and disheartening. If you want to feel you're in the right ok. I'll give that to you. But as I repress all this, I cannot help but think that it will happen again. Then, once again, I will be standing there listening to the same things because it is the same things that will annoy me and get me into this situation.

I wish things were more transparent, because you always feel we should know exactly what you want to do but the instructions given are often so vague. But you strongly feel that you've done fine so, never mind.

You always insist that you have said thing's, written things, informed etc. But you always don't want to face up to the truth of what you really said. You see it as my urge to fight/quarrel with you. I don't want to fight /quarrel. There is enough of that going around, but then you will never know this because I will never tell you. I have more or less given up on reasoning or discussing anything.

Until next time.

Lost

What should I do now? Is it right to continue this way?

Should I give in? again? Is it what I should do?

Should I seek help? Where? Who? But it's not my secret to tell. Right?

The future

I do not know what God had planned for this relationship of ours. All I know is this, despite how sometimes your ways and habits get on my nerves, I have never found someone better than you. You love me so wholeheartedly and unconditionally. Give me so much even though I give you so little.

I pray that, even though you have yet to know him, God will give speak to you and give you wisdom to make the decisions you need to make when the time comes. Also, I pray that whatever the outcome, I will be able to accept it and that some day we will both hold hands with God, walking into our future. A future, right now, I wish we will be walking together into.