No one likes to/enjoys doing things they're not good at. Right?
New things are scary but the feeling of being pushed to do things you don't like is probably something else.
Just wishing that there was more.
Sometimes I can't help but have some expectations.
Finally going on a holiday after quite a while, but for me it seems like the differences between people are way too much for me to handle.
Finding people to travel with is tough. I probably shouldn't have made such a leap of faith for a country I want so much to enjoy time in. Furthermore, it seems like the one person I hoped that would notice my unhappiness now and then just seems not to. Expecting too much? Or maybe just me being too self-centred?
At this juncture I just want to be alone and it seems like, I feel much better? Although I have bouts of sadness, but it seems like I can get through a lot more things. I'm a bit more focused, probably because I'm trying to avoid actually feeling how sad/upset I am. When night comes and I lie in bed with nothing to do, that's when I really think about all the things and what has been making me feel so upset.
Much of it is regret I think. Regret that I agreed to this, because I already had a bad feeling about this. Only because I thought that I should give it a chance. It was bad... And then it got better... And Now things are beyond me. The way things went, I could have easily done it all myself. Possibly, enjoyed it more too. Now, I look forward to so many things but yet my head is filled (and I really mean filled) with this thing lurking in my head that I'm going to mess up and do something horrible.