right blogger is screwed up...
kinda...
and what i'm typing out is coming out a split second slower...so I gotta keep stopping to see what I'm typing...
and now the blinkie thingie is gone....
anyway..today was supposed to be a major productive day, cos i was planning to study organic and organic for me get's done pretty fast...buuuuuuuuut I brought the source of evil and all distractions in toe world there...
I brought the CD which my sis's friend burnt for me...the OC...absolutely unresistable...season 1 all the way to 3...I just couldn't stop. I was studying while watching...but as you can tell, it didn't tuen out as productive as I wanted today to be.
If I stayed at home...it would have been better...for some reason I'm so psyched up to work in the morning...but once I plonk myself down to watch TV...I'm gone...so yeah...at least we're lesser of one evil.

besides all this I was thinking about something the whole night before and today.
I was watching desperate housewives last night when this new peugeot ad came up...I like peugeot ads...they're catchy and amusing for the viewer. but this one in particular caught my attention.

it was basically appealing to the female gender for this new car that they have. The ad was just basically how women would change the way things ar. One would be that men would give birth...well that would mean we wouldn't have to have all the stuff like terrible morning sickness, which a rare few have for the whole 9 months of gestation. Others have stretch marks after that, a large amount of weight gain and although some people say a woman glows when she's pregnant, acne breakouts are not uncommon at all. It's a whole pandora box of stuff. With the shimmer of hope being that it is one connection a man or father would never be able to experience.

As for high heels not hurting...I am so going to second that...the price of beauty. I mean they help us women gain some height, they provide the leverage women need in the world. They can do wonders for us women besides height. As for diamonds growing on trees...I'm quite indiffferent to that...I'm not exactly a bitg fan of diamonds, but if you give me some...I'll accept...haha...it's like chocolate for me. I don't necessarily crave it, but if it's there I'll take.

As for tailoring men, haha...at times it just seems a good idea, I mean they just DON'T get it sometimes...but if you really sit and look at us women, we are a damn confusing bunch of people. Like we just need to get to the point some time, I think if we had to live with us for a day, our indirectness would drive ourselves crazy. As for tailoring...I like my man the way he is. I mean sure...the ideal one would be like tall, dark, handsome ( baby just needs to be tall...haha...) there's some plus pluses too...but I was watching the "tailor" draw a six pack on the guy...and I was thinking...it would be kinda weird for baby to have a 6 pack. I have no idea why I'm thinking this, but I think the tummy could be a little smaller, but that's all...I don't really need the 6 pack. I like the way my man looks...haha...come to think of it...the 6 pack thingie idea, feels rather awkward...o_O

rightssssss....I just had to get that out....
apologies if that made the reader feel a little awkward...
ciao!

today was just total madness...
the whole week was just draining...besides the time spent with baby....
due to the presence of LTC in my calender taking up humongous space in that school diary of mine...I am constantly assaulted by the rather few (EXTREMELY few) blocks left in june...
my mind is just going crazy....it's like...like the freaking white rabbit in Alice in Wonderland, just that it's going 'no time, no time' and mummy's like going 'don't tell me you don't have time to study'....

I have no freaking idea how to sqeeze in all my revision...I'm like just doing papers and papers to get a feel of all the stuff again, so that revision later wouldn't take so long when I get back...the downside being that I'm taking like one day to one paper...when i should be able to do 2 or 3 ...like I'm super screwed up...
and then when the results come out, it's so gonna be like shit and then it's gonna be no phone, no going out, no this no that....AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!
morale is really low at the moment...
apologies to the dear reader on the tiny snippet of what's been going on in my head consciously or subconsciously 24/7 so far

I swear no one i know worries like this, you could say it's good cos it sorta motivates me, but then it's just so over the top that it makes you just wanna scream and cry to ease all the knots and pent-up frustration, which is what happens most of the time compared to the former. There's absolutely no way to make it go away, unless it's been done with. I'm just afraid i'll just reach my peak one day and only god knows what will happen. The worst thing is that when I try to relax and stuff...I just lose the motivation there and then and going back to whatever I was doing just doesn't hold much incentive for me at that moment in time.

can somebody explain this to me?

I feel so tired...I have no idea why...

anyway, the week was utter chaos...had like dance everyday from arounf 5-7 each time...but now it's finally over, as in all the training and stuff. I have a big blister on my foot, actually my toe. Other than that...the week was just pretty normal and stuff, putting aside the extreme tiredness.

next week would be like the last week of school for the term and it would be time to start muggung for mid-years. Like OMG there's so much stuff to study for, I cannot stand it...I'm already panicking, going to pull my hair out. I hate this man...it's like study, study all day long...I just want everything to stop for a while so I can sit down and stop rushing around. I want a holiday... I just want everything to stop so badly.

a whole day ruined...just like that...
at first it was salvageable...but now it's just in ruins...
time is hard to come by as it is...so I'm starting to doubt myself.

It was all planned out (for the first time)...what we were going to do...where we were going to go and then mummy decided to ask me to help my dad in the afternoon. I thought it was all over...but there was still some possibility of it happening.

I don't know if what I did was wrong. maybe if I just hadn't said ANYTHING at all...it just wouldn't even have started at all. At first I didn't know why I got angry....then I thought it was the way he looked at me...to me it was as if he was frustrated, maybe even pissed (I don't know) and just wanted me to shut up. He assumed I got angry because he had told her...but it didn't really feel right with how I felt. He said it was okay...she doesn't mind at all...so why should I be so pissed about it. but that just wasn't it...it still seemed to be how he looked at me or treated me earlier on.

After sitting down for a while...everything just fell into place. It seemed that for him...what mattered was not how I felt when he told her...but that she didn't mind what I said. I don't know if I'm being oversensitive or just bitchy...but to me when I tell him something, I regard him as a confidante, which was why I said it without any worries...not some messenger. For me, I felt that there was a breach of trust...am I making a mountain out of a molehill?? He said that she doesn't really mind, that it was a game that they play all the time...and that anyway he can't keep so many things inside.

What does that mean?

It makes me feel like it isn't safe to tell him things anymore...he could just blurt out what I feel is private and confidential, just between the two of us. after all we are 2 different people, even if we do agree on some things there would definitely things we don't agree on.

am I just being oversensitive? bitchy? paranoid? pathetic even?
i'm just so tired...I feel so self-conscious...like some loser

And love is all that I need
And I found it there in your heart
It isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven

right now, at a glance...everything seems to be in order...
I seem to have gotten a lot more organised and it makes me feel good...
I mean, all my work gets done, and I'm going for all these extra classes and I'm handling the workload well compared to others.
but when I just sit and think quietly...I actually have so many things to get in order actually
Sometimes I get so scared and panic...cos my mind has a way of multiplying or exponentially increasing the amount of work that I have to do. or I just choose to sit and do nothing...cos my minds gotten tired of panicking and stuff. so it just gets pretty extreme...and frankly it's just driving me crazy.
I have this overwhelming feeling that I'm screwing up everything...and for some unknown reason...the more I do something about it...it kinda gets worse...

other things aside...I've had another item added to me schedule..that would be the PAC opening thingamajig. Quite hard to believe that after like what, months? the place has yet to be OPENED!! anyway, last dance practice I was super mentally tired, so I was having the hardest time catching steps and doing...wrong foot, wrong move, wrong turns, wrong timing....hopefully it gets better. it's gonna be practices in school until then. as for elections, yes... PAP won once more...no surprise there, but the opposition is closing in on them, so they gotta get their together. Cos it seems there are less people taking their bullshit anymore...haha...I shall be going to watch the simpsons now...NEW SEASON!!! weee!!! haha...I need so sarcsm and morbid humour right about now. ciao!!!

there is an impending long holiday...
=)
there's steamboat tonight...
=)
I'm like into PCD songs...I have no idea why...but they were just playing during warm-up during dance and it just made me move...so yeah...
today has been productive...I have done just about everything I set out to do...
the week ended off well with the possibility of me dancing for the PAC opening might...so I'm quite happy...I wonder if my contemp is better than my hip-hop or street jazz...if it is, then it is quite a pity i never picked up ballet, but not a big one..I very much appreciate and still love playing the piano. I'm quite happy with how the week went, I've been busy busy...so i feel good...I still need to find time to do my SATs practice...omg...that thing is seriously stressing me out big time. It's like no time to do anything...cos I'm busy...roight...
There's the prospect of cutting my hair tomorrow...which is good timing cos phototaking is like on tuesday, but I wanna spend time with baby...time together is so hard to come by and I'm not unhappy about it...I'm just...hmmm...not contented...satisfied? hence, why it is a good thing that I'm busy. but then again...nothing much can be done...we'll just have to wait...dum di dum...

Oh, my baby's sexy for sure
I had to have him when he walked through the door

it's tuesday...
haha...only the second day into the week...
today everything was just slow...I seriously thought the day would never end...
I mean the prospect of a 5 o' clock day is already devastating as it is...
anyway...the funnist moment today has to be about milo and cumar...omg...michael trying to get to cumar cos of something he did, and they were just moving round the class until finally cumar was stuck in the front and couldn't get back to his seat cos michael was in it.

C: "where's miss ang....I'm unhappy...she's late...(points to his watch) time to start lesson already"
(Michael's sitting in Cumar's place)
(clicking of heels at the stairs and miss ang appears)
C: finally!
(miss ang walks in)
A: what's going on?
C: why are you late miss ang...I'm unhappy
someone in class: michael wants to beat cuamr up...cos cumat did something to him
A: okay, I let you all finish first okay?
C: uh...no, miss ang...have to start lesson now...(points to his watch frantically)need to start lesson...very late already
(math lesson over)
(GP lesson over)
(Cumar starts packing and is on his way to the door, but michael beats him there)
someone in class: oh no...not again
mr hoi: why?
someone: michael wants to beat up cumar
mr hoi: oh...beat then beat lor...not my business what
(cumar looks at mr hoi 0_0)
(michael starts to close in on cumar and he mves)
mr hoi: cumar, why you so scared...you're from judo...michael's from canoeing, he can't do anything to you
C: mr hoi I think I need to get something from you...um...yeah...
mr hoi: okay...

haha...the exchange between the two of them was just damn hilarious in class...haha...anyway school is over and I am home typing away now. Should get down to doing work soon.
anyway, watched "so you think you can dance" on monday...it's on every monday at 7 on channel 5..and omg...artem and blake are like super hot. Like artem's body is amazing...the abs rae just THERE!! and when he dances ballroom (his shirt's usually open) the way his body moves is just amazing.

As for blake...he's just super good at lyrical...I swear when he dances it's like he transcends into a different world and he takes you along with him. His facial expressions are just so full, so indescribable....and when he spins( my god, he can spin...and the fouettes...whoo!!) he stirs so much emotion in you and he just hits everything so well...it just drives me crazy...it's things like this that make you so proud to be a dancer. Dance today is not just about sex and seduction, there's so much more to it than that...and it's these things that makes someone a great dancer...

oh...and I almost forgot..I got my first taste of ben and jerry's ice-cream today...yes, my first...there was like a free ben and jerry's ice-cream giveaway at certain outlets and the nearest one was like united square. Pity I finish at 5 today, but baby went down to get his share and brought some back from united square all the way back to school for me....If you ask me, I am inclined to say that was a super sweet (no pun intended) gesture and it's these little things that make me love him so much...muakz!! I love you baby!!!

so far this week...

I have yet to receive my egg...it is still easter...
shit happens...I mean it was that close man!!! stupid yellow box!!!!
the weather has been cold...I've been cold all day long...
and there's so much shit to do...
and I still want an easter egg...

so yeah...that's about it for now...ciao!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!!!

sorry I'm not there to celebrate with you...I really hope you like the wallet...haha...
dum di dum...the weather today is so nice...
nice and cool...
I think I like grey skies...I have no idea why...but I think it looks just as good as a blue on. well unless I'm hanging out the clothes...then maybe a blue one is preferable.
today's like intensice work day...just doing more and more work...
it's like the most boring thing to do...sleep, eat and work...
anyway...the week went rather well...i must say...
physics spa was not up to form...but hopefully I managed to smoke through. 2.4 run was fast enough for me to get a gold...I got luckyy by 2 seconds...haha...lessons are moving along...although a large majority are stagnant...which is rather infuriating if you ask me. But...we must all be patient.
I don't know...I just can't tell...have a I become somewhat impatient? or rather very impatient? I sense it at times...but perhaps it's a result of wanting to get things done quickly and fast or maybe it's because of the class, cos everyone is so slow...slow not meaing stupid...but meaning not doing the work...or just not paying attention, hence the impatience has arisen. I have no idea where it came from...or the source of it.
I've also been told that I've become self-centred. okay...um...to me...that seems exaggerated. and I really have no explanation because...I don't think I am. I mean...I like to get things done fast...but I do think about the situation, which is the class...so I haven't said or complained about anything. I really am confused by these comments...I don't think I'm in denial...I feel like I'm supressing myslef a whole lot due to these comments, cos after being said to me...I'm feeling rather self-coinscious.
um...roight
anyway tomorrow's EASTER!!!
weeee!!!
um...I want an easter egg...a big one...I don't care if the easter bunny doesn't exist...
I want an easter egg...

4 weeks into school...
so much has happened...good and bad...
I'm just feeling pissed and...I don't know...sad?
sometimes I think I'm just plain stupid to get into this...
I mean...it just makes me worry about things I'm not even supposed to be worried about and what makes it worse is I feel like I'm the only one who feels like this. which hence makes me feel even more stupid.
Everything is so unpredictable...I don't know what will happen tomorrow, I don't know when we'll quarrel next, I don't know when we'll start talking again if we quarrel, I don't know if we'll even be okay after that. I don't even know if he know's how bad it is. Ironically I feel so alone.
I feel so lost...I'm so worried...
he just can't see...

The hols are ending...so soon...
I wish it were longer...I'm always feeling so tired...
anyway...the week ws pretty good to me.
finished 90% of the homework I intended to do and have been spending much quality time with my baby before all the busy schedules from school roll in once more.

thursday...
HAPPY FIRST ANNIVERSARY baby....haha
yeah, it's been a year already and yet it doesn't feel that long. I guess in a way that's good... I mean it would not be good if it felt eons...haha...but I always love the time we spend together.
Baby and I played badminton in the morning at tp sports hall with sean, lisa, sean and deb...then baby and I went off to town to have lunch together at cafe cartel...we just sat around together after the meal and enjoyed each other's company. I like doing that...it just feels so comfortable...after that we just walked around orchard and then baby went for his class babrbecue.

friday...
met up with erika, ethel, nicm and perry. Haven't seen these people for soooo long...other than ethel...but it's been real long. had lunch at swensens and then we just sat around and talked The company was good...then bussed top baby's house to spend time with him.

today...
roight I am sick...like with flu-like symptoms...just without the incessant sneezing and stuff. woke up at 6am feeling absolutely crappy...went back to sleep woke up at 7.30 and then at 8.20 and then I just had to get up. Called baby cause I was feeling so bad....then went to have breakfast and then mummy drove me to papa's office where I did nothing but sleep and sleep and sleep. then mummy brought me home to rest and I slept somemore and now I'm here.

It's so unbelievable
And I don't wanna let it go
Its something so beautiful
Flowin down like a waterfall
I feel like you've always been
Forever a part of me
And it's so unbelievable
To finally be in love
Somewhere I never thought I'd be

the hols are finally here!!!
anyway the last week was as usual...
it was a bit crappy but there was some good stuff.
J1 orientation last week and I went to rockafellaskank with baby on friday...it was waaaaaaaaaaay better than last years...I mean there was so much good stuff this year...saw some old friends too..
saturday went out with baby and I went out with sean and lisa to settlers cafe to play some board games...I thought it was good. we played risk and upwords.
Went across the causeway yesterday to get my hair cut...have dinner and go shopping. Company was rather good...just mummy, daddy and I...quiet...haha...but giant was TERRIBLE!!! I mean school holidays...you got kids running around screaming, playing with toys on the shelf like they own it...riding bicycles around the shoppiing mall like they own it when they haven't even bought it...omg...parents should just stick them in the trolley, then we'll only have the screaming to worry about. I bought new pair of shoes too, a pair of nike sneakers...WHOO!! It pays to be a good daughter and do housework...though I don't get stuff most of the time like my sisters...but when I get it, it's damn good!!! haha...
today was quiet...spent it at papa's office...I've like finished half of almost every piece of holiday homework....dum di dum...watched some vcds and that was about it...I think I should change my desktop wallpaper REALLY soon...

muahahaha...me found for videos...this time from funkmania!!!
anyway...I know some of you people don't really wanna watch so i'll just put it at the very end of my post. I'm just gonna put some of my favourites, the picture quality isn't very good...made worse by the stage lighting for some of the performances...cos it's at nights and the stage lighting just kills the picture more.
onto today...

went to church today and I thought I looked damn good...haha...not something someone says to herself, but I just had to say it...haha...sent guin of at J8 after church and then went to have lunch at turf city and then shopping with mummy.
Got home, ironed the clothes I need to iron while watching 'japan hour' I LOVE that show...haha...today was like ramen overdose...I like have a super big craving for it now.finished ironing at about 4 and decided to take a nap. Like a 3 hour power nap...haha...woke up...had dinner and now I'm here.

there's school tomorrow and I don't really mind that. I just feel more secure if I go to school rather than stay at home with nothing to do but housework...I think I wish I could stay in school all my life...it's like such a comfort zone for me. but I like lots and lots of money too...haha...so i'll have to go work, cos I don't wanna be a tai tai, cos I'll be board outta my mind. That day nessie and I were talking about how we can be tai tais together and dress our kids up in branded kids apparel and hang out together. Problem being I don't wanna be a tai tai and I don't go well with kids. I like to be busy doing work and making loadsa money money...haha. dum di dum...

gotta now...so here's the vids from funkamania

street soul


fat mama crew


Indi dolls

There's something in your eyes
Something in your smile
Something in the way you move me
You make me want to sing
Make me want to dance
Make me want to cry
I'm falling in love with you

CT's are like finally over!!!
haha...and the hols are like coming soon...
after math...baby and I went out with sean and lisa. We walked around a bit...looksie looksie and baby attempted to repair the ipod that weijie gave him, however it was unsuccessful due to the warranty having expired at the beginning of the year. oh well, looked around the ipod shop...the aount of stuff you can come up with for a gadget and the money. an ipod nano sock costs $12...when I can just go buy a striped sock at some stall outside for like $2 or even less!!!
Had lunch at fish and co at wheelock...baby and I had the usual...complete meal with swordfish collar while sean and lisa had loadsa stuff haha...then we just went our separate ways. baby and I spent some quality time together.
today wasn't really interesting...at least what I did wouldn't interest you. just went top papa's office watched a couple of movies there and did some chem. I swear I love doing chem...it's the only thing I can do and the only thing I get excited about doing...stop staring at the computer screen like that...I'm serious. I've recently gotten hooked on 'The Calcium Kid', one of the earlier movies orlando bloom did...you know the guy who did legolas...haha...it's damn funny. I think the britsh are the only people who can appreciate funny...I just love the way the mother says massage...it's like mass-saaaaage...haha...my sis and I were playing around with the pronuciation during dinner...

btw..jeanette has found some videos from danceworks and they have INCANDESCENCE!!!!
1st in the preliminaries...GO CJC!!!!
they're going to be in the finals on 1st April so GO SUPPORT people...haha...still trying to see if they've got a video of my group (illuminate)...there's another one from RAW STILO!!!
they're from NYP...and they are damn good...omg...haha you have to watch it...the sounds not really good but that's not really an issue...enjoy...bon appetit!!!


Incandescence


raw stilo

Save me from this place
Heaven knows i'm falling
For you my sweet embrace
Heaven knows
Heaven knows I've been waiting

I realise that I haven't blogged for like more than 2 weeks...
been ab-so-lute-ly busybusybusy...
my phone's alarm clock rang at 6 and I woke up...shut it off and then said to myself..."what the *beep* why the hell did I set it at 6...it's freakin' sunday" and with my sleepy eyes I landed back onto the bed. suddenly I sat up and realised it's monday...omg...I was so damn tired...had bf...did all the usual stuff and then to school iw ent for NE and GP.
I swear i told so many of the dancers the story above...haha...they were all pretty dead...I think the first person I told was andrea and then I saw luke in the canteen and told him...haha...saw lisa in the morning and then sean and baby came to join us...
NE was like shit...I was just reading and not comprehending...what's that called? that's like brain dead...haha..anyway I shaded stuff and then onto the canteen to bum around and wait for GP. GP was a so screwed...I dunno what happened...maybe becuse I was tired or smthg but I was half dead at summary and I was dead at AQ....I just made some crap up which DID NOT even make sense to me AT ALL!!!!

Anyway...sunday and saturday was danceworks...haha...went down on saturday to support mel's group - incandescence. dum di dum....they got FIRST!!! just for the dance sugment but whatever muahaha...CJC dance rocks man....haha...sunday was us....and we won first of for the sandwich board....whoo!!!! I mean it was pretty DUH!!! none of the other sandwich boards could compare...haha...we didn't get into the finals but incandescence did...so people GO SUPPORT them on 1st April. Feels quite sucky to be beaten by a buinch of kids...but hey they were damn good...you should really see them, it 's the kind of thing you have to see for yourself and I guess at least we were beaten by a worthy opponent. after all the crying and stuff...went to wash up and then we hung around the shopping centre just talking and talking. We'd like talk and refuse to move and linger around...like we did oputside the toilet...it's just damn funny...haha. Finally decided to go pizza hut and have dinner...mrs koh's treat..haha and we drove her absolutely crazy the way we ordered food. It was a damn fun evening...constantly suaning each other and getting little doses of gossip from people, we were so loud the staff had to ask us to tone down a little haha...after that went home while the rest went on to venezia for more food.

got home bathed, packed my bag...ironed...did the sheets and I just headed to bed.

It's Friday, im feeling that I wanna party
So call up my friends and come on everybody
Gonna make it tight
Gonna make it alright

finally back home...
cooked, bathed and smelling oh so nice...
maths lect... I swear I dislike vectors, I could never get the hang of it in JC...it's like you know what's going on, but somehow you just don't know how to go about to doing it. It's ab-so-lute-ly frustrating you know!!!
anyway we had break at like 9am...the one and only break today, THIS is the one break I so disagree the time with...I mean omg!!! 9am?!?!? and you expect a frikkin' bowl of noodles to keep me full till then...I mean seriously maybe students in CJC are late for lectures due to the poorly timed breaks...so their just dying form hunger coming from the J-block...roight...I'm exaggerating.
GP was fun, as it always is...I was rather displeased to have it end. Then it was math...I like diferential equations...it's just so mechanical...but then again, mechanical, is what makes Singapore students so inflexible towards certain things.Then there was the issue on the stupid toto draw today...I didn't even know about it, apparently it's like 10million+++, so all the guys were just basically going on and on about how they'll not come to school if they win the money and all sorts of other stuff they wanna do....and it carried on into like chem pract...sigh...
chem lect... I stupidly stashed my carbonyl compounds with my whole organic chem pile at home and thought we were doing hydroxy...when we finished hydroxy before starting carbonyl!!!! stupid, stupid...
chem pract...the second hour was terrible..I mean...I hate copying stuff...ARGH!!! I was like late for dance by a half-hour...
DANCE....YESYES!!! MORE MORE...GIVE MORE!!! I need to remember that!!!

"It's better to die dancing, than to be roadkill"

It's not always easy and sometimes life can be deceiving
I'll tell you one thing
It's always better when we're together

it's THURSDAY...
so close yet so far...
I seruously want the weekened to come...
my body just feels so tired...
I just realised that CT is not far away which means I like should be getting down to studying like SOON!!!
The week's been quite okay just that I've been feeling really tired, so it just feels like I've been a little spun outta orbit but I'm still holding quite well so I think I'm quite amazing. Tests haven't been good so far...as usual...the usual stuff like happens and then I'm like a super goner during the test so, it usually doesn't come out good. I swear it's like crazy...there's at lest 2 tests a week...be it some shitty FA or CA...stupid crappy school system. Dance is stressful...not in a drive you crazy way but like...something that weighs in the back of your mind and you constantly have this notion that you NEED to do something about it. Actually that's kinda worse than if it were to drive you crazy. so yeah, need to learn eights fast...really fast!!!!
go gen, go gen...
more power, more strength, more energy...
AAAAAH!!!!!

Got my eyes on you
And I like what I see

so begins february...
oh well...
the past few days of school...was just so tiring...kept sleeping here and there in between and as well as during lessons. Just couldn't get enough sleep. Had 2 sessions of dance for danceworks which is like at the end of this month, my body is super tired now esp. my back...all the body waves and stuff.
Past 2 days have been chingay...went to to ushering to get com service hours...it was like the first time I ACTUALLY watched a chingay performance. First time I actually felt happy when I made someone smile...never used to be like that when I did CIP...maybe its because CIP mostly involved the old folks which I had absolutely no way of communicating in dialect with. There was this guy during the pre-show segment singing all the michael buble songs...omg...he was ab-so-lute-ly wonderful...he sounded so much like michael buble and he sang all the songs I like...haha. Chingay was actually good, with all the floats and lights and performances by all the different countries. Most were enjoyable...although the bosch float was extremely out of place...I mean what's with all the provocative dance moves....like everything was so cultural and ethnic and then this THING comes along with four women dancing like bartop dancers on a blue float. I found it super weird....like it didn't belong. Met baby later and then went to see the street party but I didn't wanna stay so he sent me home.
The house is quieter and less crowded...my relatives have all gone back to m'sia....I kinda like it this way, don't mean it in a bad way, I just don't like too many people in one place...I get quite irritable and exasperated and stuff....tomorrow there's school...gotta sleep early...-_-...

Can you tell, in my eyes
the happiness when you are in my heart
the joy you bring
makes me wanna sing
I love you and you mean the world to me

roight....
cny...I got more money than last year...haha

cny day 1:
okay...spent the day at my aunts house...my mum's side that is. Can't really remember what we did...mostly just getting hongbao and then lazing around watching TV. Not much hongbao from this side...seeing as my mum's side isn't much for size, then ate brunch and then we set off towards my paternal grandma's house in sepang.

It was a damn long ride...longer than I expected...I thought something like an hour or so...oh well...there was a tinsy-winsy jam. eventually we got there after driving around endless countrysides...or rather rural, yet not so much to that extent. Just lots and lots of wild grass and occasionally in the midst of all the grass, a house. anyway we reached the town and then went towards my tuai ma's house to see the EXTEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNDED part of my dad's family.

It was rather empty at first, but people started arriving slowly. Saw quite a number of familiar faces and remembered a few names here and there...exchanged greetings, got hongbao and then we headed to a restaurant to eat lunch. omg...lunch was like eating a cow for me...which is ab-so-lute-ly impossible. There was like herbal chicken, emperor duck, fish, dessert and like 5 or 4 more dishes and I was absolutely full. Then went back to tuai ma's house again and then hung around with...talked to some more people, watched people...and yeah it was quite like that. Daddy was like gambling playing black jack...haha.

The highlight of the day I suppose was when my auntie wendy came down with her new husband(I didn't even know she was married, let alone engaged), brian, in their new silver lotus which they acquired like 2 days ago. It was like, I dunno...um wah... but not WOW!!! you know, maybe I'm biased and only have eyes for a porsche, but seriously I just thought it looked good...something that would make heads turn, but to me not something I would wanna have. Anway, people just started touching, sitting inside it...blah blah...personally...if that were my car I would be crying...all the fingerprints and yeah you know...I wouldn't even bring it down.
Daddy carried on with black jack and then we 4 ladies went back to my grandma's house to just cool off...I mean it was just damn hot and stuff. napped and then went back at around seven.
dinner...was just different from previous years to me...not so rah rah...but anyway it happened, hung around a bit more after dinner until 10+ then went back to grandma's house, bathed and then to sleep.

many many mosquitoes.

cny day 2:
woke up...went down to tuai ma's place again...
had breakfast there...super heavy one at that...tuai ma just kept telling them to cook and cook...basically they were just reheating yesterday's stuff...so it was like dinner instead of breakfast. Somehow tuai ma was not convinced and just asked for more to be cooked.
quickly left the table and then sat around and talked to suntie winnie for a while and then set off to my paternal uncle's house to see their pink dragonfruit plantation. walked around there...looksie looksie and met their dog. She was sooooooooo damn cute...haha...she was so happy...running here and there, haphazardly....wagging the tail...haha...omg...everything about her was soooooooo cute..I wanna dog.
we left to meet my aunts and cousins for dinner and the new hong kong restaurant...it was a good dinner haha...I always like chinese food. The headed back home, bathed, talked to baby and then went to sleep.

and that wraps cny...I'm too tired to type anymore...so ciao!!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

gong xi fa cai
hongbao kuai na lai
hongbao hongbao kuai na lai

it's the eve of cny and hence I am back here in malaysia AGAIN!!
anyway school yesterday was olright...
i mean it was a normal day of lesson...
the cny concert went quite well....our first run for the J2s was bad...at least i felt it was bad. like I didn't really put anything in it. The second round for the J1s was a lot better, maybe because ryan was there? After that went back to the studio, changed...got all the make-up off and then went for class. Met baby after school and then he went for canoing and I went home to do housework. I like cleaned the fans...ironed the clothes, hung out the wet clothes and folded the rest. I felt so tired after that. had dinner...did a bit of DC circuits and then talked to baby and then went to sleep.

today, woke up and bascially mummy was in an absolute frantic mood to finish up all her unfinished business for cny and then get back here(m'sia). obviously mummy got into a fould mood, cos my stupid sister (as usual) was taking her own sweet time to do this and do that. I basically just stayed out of her way and did a tonne of stuff for her. Ironed more clothes...washed more clothes...hung out more clothes....and whatnots. finally got into the car and finally started off the journey. Was talking to baby after we cleared the singapore checkpoint but then the reception got cut-off cos i don't have that auto-roam thingie. oh well....

got here at like 4+ and then cousins came downhad dinner and now i'm just sitting here...typing...dum di dum...tomorrow will be more travelling..this time to my nai-nai's house, where I should meet many many people I do not really know. I mean, my dad's side is soooo big half the time I have NO idea who the people who come up to me and say "so big already arh?" or "why still so skinny" are. I just call them auntie. I can only remember the significant ones...more like the ones who actually talk to me or have distinguishing features i remember.

Sometimes I think my nai-nai feels lonely...I mean someone living in a three-storey house...all alone...I would feel lonely. even thought she can still walk to my tuai ma's house..she'd still come home to a somewhat empty house. She only sees us like once a year. She only sees her son and 3 granddaughters once a year. I dunno...sometimes i just feel that way. Anyway..hopefully tomorrow I will get many many hongbao from my aunties, seeing as my father's side of the family is so big. Then monday will be home and then school starts like on wed. I still have many many things to do...studying I mean...but I just feel so tired...I just want to sleep and sleep and sleep.

I want a hug so bad....

I felt that today moved really slow...
haix...
I feel so tired and any amount of sleep just doesn't seem to help AT ALL!!!!
chem lect was where I started sleeping...I mean seriously there wasn nothing to even copy let alone listen to. EVERYTHING was in black and white...I mean I could just learn all this stuff at home...
then pe...this was fun, maybe cos during frisbee my team was just trashing everyone and the funny part was just paki falling on his ass...haha...he just does it so well...haha...
then the day just passed...
went to the dance studio after class and then slept there for a while and then practice started with all the cleaning...and yeah...everything was soon sorted out...now i just need my black shoes...
met baby and then he went home first and then i took a bus home...bathed, cooked and now I'm here. I still feel soi tired...I still need to eat and then do my work.........................

I just don't get it...you just have no idea where the line is. I mean you don't just take over....it's just plain rude...you just have to be in control, like some control freak. Then when someone just asks you to keep your comments to yourself you just interpret it as like some rude remark when you're the one who was in the wrong.
You're such a hypocrite. I mean you tell people it's like this it's like that, not like that and then when someone asks you to do it...you just suck yourself into your "shell" and act like some good humble person and you tell the world...I'm not good, I suck so bad.... well let me tell you...I just hate it...in fact I'll just say that I cannot stand it. If you think you're so good, and that you're right then why is it when you're asked to show it...you're such a coward...PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS!!! come on....don't give all that bull...i'm not good enough...it just annoys people.
The way you totally disregard people and then only take into account those you think are "worthy" to give you advice...I don't know...it's like you think you're better than everyone and only certain people are fit to be around you. I mean how can you live like that????
I don't really have anything else to say...maybe it's just me...but somehow it's gone on for far too long and I don't kow if I'll regret saying/typing this one day but thank God I won't be around much longer.

dum di dum...
been lazy to blog the pass few days...haha...
anyway last week, FUNKAMANIA...omg...I swear I so wanna dance like that...I mean one day I wanna. I'm like a far way off...I catch stuff fast, it's just a matter of getting everything cleaned up and adding more energy...it's motivation...and I WILL get there. They're just unbelievable...I mean the way their bodies move looks damn easy, but when you try you realise it really isn't and there's a need of a tonne of control which I lack because I just DO NOT have any muscles to aid in any such control.

this week...
it's been pretty smooth sailing...my stamina for studying is still there...the motivation to clear-up all doubts and make sure I know everything I need to is still there...then there's the future where I MIGHT just let-up on all this stuff and land myself in the most unwanted predicament...so I need to be a super-nerd this year and still have like a tinsy-winsy bit of a social life. dance has been prepping for cny and I'm in the jazz group which is good, cos that's what i wanted and I have to admit I think my jazz is somewhat better than hip-hop and dance has cost me a couple of blue blacks on my knees...haix....
PE...monday was frisbee, I just like this game and thursday was like killer..I mean running and running which seriously made my thighs hurt so bad I had diffriculty going down the stairs...tried to stretch it out but to no avail so I'm just letting the pain wear off. I'm starting to feel the weight from school, it's starting to take a toll on my time and whatever I wanna do....haix...

yesterday...
went out to meet baby after his training and then we went walking to try to find my black shoes but then um...yeah we didn't get it cos we just came to a rather easy solution for the lack of nice cheap black shoes. then went to study...had dinner and then went to watch memoirs of a geisha...itwasn't bad...in fact I quite liked it, now all I have to do is just to read the book to complete the circle...haha...now I have to do my physics...

ciao!!!

Fall on me
Tell me everything you want me to be
Forever with you
Forever in me
Ever the same

today was a rather good and enjoyable day...
haha...
had commencement ceremony in the morning to like officially start the year and stuff...
which ate into our chem lect, which is good, cos yeah....chem already has a lot to take in and I haven't quite got the hang of trying to get a permenant space for all the reactions and their conditions in my oh-so-small brain.
anyway lessons started like at 9am and it was physic lect...so i got to see baby...yumyum...haha...although i wasn't much for talking. after that break and then 2 hours of what was supposed to be pract, however it turned out to be a tutorial session. omg...it was the worst thing ever...okay maybe not cos I was actually trying to understand and all that stuff...but once my brain got so tired and loss the momentum...I got sleepy...but stuff still kinda got in. then it was math lect...baby again...haha...I get to see him in 2 out of my four lectures this year...haha...which is good...dum di dum...integration by substitution, you're probably like this---> 0.0 now but I guess...it's okay.
then CCA...dance was a good session today...we had like 88 juniors so we had to like split them into shifts...the auditions were good. saw some rather good dancers and of course that can't, those that have potential and those that were just a lot of fun to watch. there was this real skinny cat high guy, douglas, omg...he was like so cute...haha...his legs looked like they were going to break under his weight...haha...and his freeestyling was like those retro-shake-your-ass moves...was so cute. we had like many many guys...like 98% from SJI and christian came too..haha...I mean guys is good...we have like so little and they were pretty spontaneous on the freestyling...all the breakdancing and stuff came out...so it was really cool.
went to the grandstand to look for baby...talked to jo and omela for a while and then baby and I went home at 7....
bathed and now I am here...should be going to finish my homework NOW!!!

I'm so happy it's holiday...
I could get used to 4 days of school a week...haha...
anyway...it's been raining non-stop...i would think the weather is great if only I were actually at home to enjoy it and not in school freezing my butt off...
I just get cold real easy...
anyway...played frisbee for pe yesterday...boy it was fun...no, seriously...the ground was like cavingin under our feet cos of the rain and we were just running all over the place on it. For the first time, you hear guys complaining about their shoes getting dirty. junlonf was like skidding on the wet mud all over the place...cos it was just impossible to run...properly.
today...I'm just at home...
tackling unfinished business and who knows what I'll do later...
I'm still in holiday mood...not feeling like doing any work or anything that would require my brain to do some deep and referencing for that matter...
I just wanna cuddle up in my blanket and just sleep the whole day away or go out somewhere..I don't know where...but somewhere...dum di dum...

well, the week's been swell...
I mean I end at like 4 on tues and wednesday was just fun at CCA pasar...
all the dancers were super hyped...the orientation dance went real well, we danced once in the audi and once in the quadrangle...then it started to rain, drizzle...then we did like this year and last years mass dance in the in the middle of nowhere...however today was a damn waste of time....I mean there's like only 2 lessons today...2 hours...
pe was just height weight taking...I have suddenly become rather indifferent towards my height, i have just become accustomed to the fact that i am never going to grow anymore and that I'm rather comfortable where I am...not too short, not too tall. weight-wise...maybe not so indifferent, I like gained 500g...haha...and majority of the guys in my class wanted to be in like the 60s...I have no idea why though.
here's why it was a waste of time...we had like a 2 hour break to do nothing...there's was like a 1 hour free period and a 1 hour break as well, so I could have come home earlier at like 12.30 without the free period...instead of 1.30...
oh well...
school's been rather kind for now...integration is still manageable, organic chem is so going to be a killer for me...wtf. I just haven't gotten used to the different coloured uniforms walking around school...I know I've been there...but it just...yeah, never mind. ethel was in baby's group...she seemed quite happy and stuff, causing baby some chaos...haha...I heard a lot from him.
I've been worrying a lot this year(and it's only been 5 days...) my mind's like 9 months ahead or something and it's not exactly imagining the prettiest picture...omg...I'm a super worry wort....I just can't stop it. I'm such an asshole. -_-... I'm thinking about so many things...now if I had things to do I wouldn't be thinking about other things too much.
dum di dum.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
okay...i have no idea why i'm so excited...
i mean since my stomach is like feeling rather, or should it be extremely empty and the smell from downstairs is EXTREMELY distracting...yum yum.
anyway...i'm at home...yes...and I actually fgot up to go to church...
well, not without the usual multiple entries from various people singing the same song..."wake up!!!!" so yeah...we got to church. the wonder being that i didn't fall asleep, after all last night was a long night. Or maybe it was because of the man sitting next to me, cos he looked like a super 'god' person and I probably pictured him shaking his head in disapproval or being ratehr annoyed at the fact that I had fallen asleep in church. perhaps it was due to the fact that i was freaking cold, having worn a skirt. anyway...it ended and we went for lunch at warren. I had fish and chips and yeah...we ate...came home...lazed around...hung out the clothes and wrapped up the rest of the homework. (I seriously hope permutations is forgotten.....)

anyway now for the more exciting part...weeeee!!
YESTERDAY!!!
anyway I spent the first part of the day doing housework and stuff...ironing...blah blah blah...anyway I left the house later than planned and I was late. Actually I wouldn't have been as late as I was if it wasn't raining. It may have helped...cops I couldn't see where i was on the bus so I had to call in help, but i landed at marina and baby came to pick me up. haha...baby dressed up nice too...he had on this brown dress shirt and pants and the shoes he went to buy with his daddy in the morning...i liked the whole ensemble, made him look really good. Anyway, we went to look for sean and lisa, cos apparently sean got hungry....found them in coffee club and baby and I shared a mocha ice. then we went walk walking. the guys went to play a little arcade, i think i should learn to play some someday...i mean baby likes to play it so much and i'm usually quite unwiling cos i don't really like arcades...but i think there's no harm. then we walked somemore...walked into many mAnY MANY stores...to look at a lot of stuff we didn't buy. then we went to olio to have dinner.
dinner was really good. The food was rather filling, although sean would beg to differ. then we just sat and talked and gossiped a little (really!!!!). it was so much fun. talking about our secondary school days. lisa and baby talking about the elitist life and sean and I talking about our rather normal life in SJI and IJ...haha...the things we found out...omg...sean and I were so blown away. haha...all the little tactics they employ...omg...sean and i never knew the elitists had in them to cheat and stuff...even SLEEPING in class...haha...although baby does it quite often ( i mean the sleeping). Then it was more walking...a lot of walking...walking and talking...it was so nice to spend time like that. We like walked from suntec to city hall then to chijmes then to a lot of places. The roads were rather empty though...and if there were cars it was full of people who were absolutely high on the new year mood. Baby bought 2 bottles of beccardi for th 4 of us to share and lisa and I got absolutely red....haha...then the guys just stopped us from drinking. after walking somemore we parted ways and we left sean and lisa and baby and I walked to the bus stop and we both went home from there.
got home, bathed...drank some sparkling fruit juice...watched a bit of narnia (again...) then talked to baby and to sleep. =)

this year was in a way a rather fulfilling year. Filled with a whole lot of ups and downs, having experienced the peaks of both. perhaps it was baby that made all the difference. He's helped me so much...been my mental and physical support throughout the year.
I'll admit I never saw much in him except a worthy opponent in the academic arena...but somehow he managed to move me and life has been good to us. We've had our quarrels, disagreements, seen a lot more of each other, both good and bad, through the year that we've known each other. His care and concern for me has never wavered, with me always coming first before him especially when I'm sick. I will never forget the time i got angry at him for buying a towel for me to make a cold pack when I was running a fever and the time he rushed all the way to my classroom when I was having that humongous tiff with my mum, not forgetting that he stayed with me too. He also gives me a sense of reality, very frank, especially when I get frustrated about things...he just always seems to point out how silly I am to get angry cos it really isn't as complicated as I make it out to be. It ruffles my feathers a little, but in the end I always know that he's right. a lot of the people I know say how lucky I am to have found someone like him and I know I am.
The times we study together is another thing I treasure...he has somehow been able to make studying and As possible for me. He just breaks down walls of impossibilities and turns them around...he always seems to be able to make me see the 'light'...haha...
I suppose that in this relationship I've grown quite a bit, now that there are 2 of us and not just me. Although, I may feel that I still lag behind in this area...I seem to may have made progress...haha...and i will be able to match up to him someday on this. I have yet to reach his level where I make a conscious effort to think of him whenever i do things. I mean for him it just seems so automatic...so I feel a bit guilty about it.
He has made me see a new perspective of life and brought me to a new level of joy andmade me cry in a way that I have never experienced in the past 16 years of my life. so baby here's to you...
I hope we spend many birthdays, christmases, new years and whatever there is together. =) you make me feel whole...

Who let me love you
Who let you love me

I'm finally home!!!
yay!!!
i have never wanted so much to wander around my own house, sleep in my own bed and sit on my own sofa and watch TV...
haix...everything seems so much better and i feel better...
haha...
i still have things to do...but i think i will enjoy myself with baby tomorrow...we haven't seen each other for more than 2 weeks...from what i recall, the longest we've been apart is like 3 days??? so yeah...i just wanna see him...hug him...make sure he's still real...
ciao!!!

Just bring me things that I don't need
Cuz now its Christmas and I want everything

merry christmas to one and all...
yesyes....
today started off well...
went to some restaurant for high tea...
it was good...although i don't really know why...i didn't talk much...mostly fooled around with my cousins, haven't seen them is a while...we were like playing with each other's phones, playing with his digicam...talking
the food was good...although there was this huge momentary pause in the food flow. apparently they were understaffed so they, um....for got about us? or to be nice...got too busy. after the food started flowing again...everything was fine once again. I was like damn full...and then they ordered like 3 out of the four desserts...they were nice though...i liked them. then we went shopping
that was bad...terrible more like
my cousin took us to KLCC, cos he knew we wanted to buy stuff...however my mum was quite unwillling to spend...i didn't mind that cos we are on a tight budget, what pissed me off was that i had stuff to do and an aim in mind and they were just wandering from place to place aimlessly and getting lost in the crowds causing us to have to wait for them to re-join us. i know i may sound like som damn mean bitch and i should wait cos they're my seniors but i had something to accomplish and they were just dragging me down.
next was this place where they sell all this imitation stuff; shirts, shoes, clothes, bags, you name it they got it. saw a lot of nics stuff...but the shoes...some were absolutely outrageous. everything started out fine, but as time went on things got bad...again. my mum and my aunts ust got into their own little world and just walked around..stopped occasionally and moved on. it's like i didn't get a chance to see the stuff at all...the plce was real crowded...like shoulder to shoulder crowded, so we had to keep up...needless to say i got pissed. she even scolded me for asking for sizes for a shoe...cos she said i should have asked for the price...oh well...that was bad...then went to giant...spent some money and then came home bathed...ate macs for dinner and now i'm here. going home tomorrow...
which is good...
my aunts are just so critical about everything...
i hate it...
i dunno how to express it...but it just makes you feel very unhappy when the comment about things...oh well...
i dunno...i feel so lost now...

is it too much to ask?
all i want for christmas is you...

today was one ab-so-lute-ly disgusting day that i for one hope will not EVER repeat itself...

woke up at like 7am...then rushed down to the stupid place to re-do the ic and we reached our destination to find an extremely long queue, extending out of and to the back of the somewhat large building. The length of the queue itself was disheartening...as we could just see ourselves standing out there for 65 million years...i mean after all...I'm quite sure m'sia is quite well known for it's efficiency.

the queue started moving quite fast, so we were optimistic. when we finally got into the building word of mouth was they had run out of numbers...wtf. so we rushed of somewhere else...and that place had run out of numbers to re-do the IC...we landed in putrajaya. we got a number...yay...600+ more numbers to go and it was a friday...meaning the people have to go to the mosque...meaning everything would stop running, according to them from 12.30 to 2.45...so we obviously had to wait until 2.45....

the wait was absolutely torturous...omg...waiting for 2 frikkin' hours for it stuff to start running, it was cold, and i was sleepy, bored and did i say sleepy??? i did...anyway, everything started up again at 2.45...with like...500+ more numbers to...omg...we were ther until like 7?? i swear...malaysia needs to know something called EFFICIENCY!!! wtf...a whole frickkin day wasted..when i could have gone shopping and stuff...

what made it worst was like the people there...omg..the kind of people you see there and what they were wearing. some of the women in the tudung looked nice, actually pretty...but then some people should not squeeze into clothes one size too smaller than they actually are, it was absolutely uncomfortable to look at. the children were even worst...i distinctly remember this girl in her imitaiton heelys...skating back and forth in front of me...irritating the hell outta me. I was just wishing she'd fall on her face and that would teach her to sit down. each malay ( i say malay cos it was predominantly malay in there...) family had about 4 kids...and imagine them all running around screaming and crying....and the parents just sit there and not do anything. like wtf...if you haven't noticed your kids are being an absolute PAIN!!! there were even kids walking around BAREFOOT in the wet toilets...like why would you let your kid do that!?!? it's disgusting!!!

everything was done at like 7pm..went for dinner, had pi dan zhou...then went to meet my cousins at 'the curve' for shopping. didn't really shop cos it was already so late...everything was pretty much closed...so we're going again tomorrow...to somewhere else cheaper. and now I'm here....been feeling so tired recently...hope I'm not coming down with something...

christmas is lonely without you...

dum di dum....
woke up at like 9.30 today....
wanted to go for dance...but then was too lazy and stuff
so i just hung my stuff out to dry and folded all the clothes and um...bummed around for a while...
baby called...i was so happy to hear his voice =)....i miss it...haven't heard it in a while...haven't seen him in a while...=(
anyway then later boarded the bus to get to malaysia...
the ride was good, comfy...had really big seats...tables.... with the exception that it was too damn cold...I brought a sweater, wore it and I shut the air-con vents but as one of the flaps (it had 2) of the air-con vents was like...ripped off? so cool air was still blowing out and i was freezing. I kept thinking about an extra jacket which my baby always gives me to cover my legs like in lectures or just to keep me warm...made me miss him even more. they had a transit movie too....rat race...nothing fantastic..but I haven't seen it before so it was olright. the service was good too...we had like chicken sandwich and one of those packet cup water thingies....

arrived and around 9pm and my auntie took me to some place...cos she said my luck next year for dragon(my zodiac...) isn't good which is devastating cos my 'A's are next year...but then one should not be controlled by such things I believe. the place was crawling with kids...they were like, running out of rooms like bullets...like priare dogs...absolutely terrifying. my aunts gave me this hong bao which they put in a basket at the altar and then I knelt in front of it with this big yellow paper in my hands...then the funny thing happened...the lady which was supposed to do the stuff started talking in cantonese, didn't realise she was talking to me until a while later. what's more, with my limited ability in talking or understanding cantonese I looked like an absolute moron. then the woman realised after saying it a few times that I didn't understand said...boy or girl?,,,,then I wasl like ....uh, girl...then she like pricked my middle fingers with a needle and then I took ths whole stack of papers they handed me and I burnt it...they gave a me a fruit i'm supposed to eat and we went off to my cousins house to see their new dog...well not exactly new, they've had her since august. she's a mixed laborador, so cute i tell you....so shy...haha... =) talked a while there and then we came back...and bathed and now I'm here typing

will be here until boxing day...miss my baby so much...
miss his face...hands...oh well... =(

I'm back from camp...
so tired...
and I need to travel tomorrow to malaysia...
I am still damn pissed about that...
anyway, I must tell...haha...the best thing about the camp was these two sec 2 twins...omg...I thought they were so cute together haha...they're like total opposites, in terms of behaviour and charcter. the older one, daryl, is like a ticking time bomb...omg...he was absolutely playful, didn't like ti do whatever I asked and was like your typoical sec 2 boy...haha. the younger one (by 4 mins), darren, was more participative and he was willing to play all the games and even do the gala night shit and he was much more capable of sitting down somewhere to get down to work...I dunno....i just thought they looked so cute together. There was a game we were doing where they were trying to find out who had the highest forhead amongst a selected group people and these 2 twins happened to be there and everyone kinda asssumed they'd be the same, but daryl's happened to be 0.3 cm higher...how cool's that?

the games were rather okay....it mostly consisted running long distances...across the park, campsite...singapore...very taxing...tiring and my stamina really sucks. my team didn't do so well on the first day but we picked up a bit on the second day and games today was rather well done, except the gala night sucked...haha. The people were not that great, they had good intentions but, I felt really uncomfortable around them, except for the bunch I usually hang out with and a few others I managed to get to know. All the jumping during worship, making people pray out loud...altar calls, in a way it was being forced upon us and I felt that it was the wrong way. I mean you worship god in whatever way you deem is comfortable, other people don't set that for you.

the talks were relatively okayl...the first day's was fine, talking about rekindling the love for god...buyt todays suddenly deciated to sex and BGR. I mean the pastor was saying...if you don't intend to get married don't date...but if you are then give it about 2 years, meaning if you wanna marry at 21, start dating and 19. To me these things cannot be destined...you can't time these things. You cannot explain stuff like this, cos somehow you will just know if he/she is the one for you, it's indescribable, you can't time things like that. The one on sex was alright...I mean people, esp those of our society are rather conservative, it's sorta taboo to speak or question it , and he was saying god created sex so it's supposed to be a beautiful thing shared between husband and wife...it is us humans who have made it what it has become today. but I still can't get or reemember how we got to that issue.

gonna be travelling tomorrow...
so tired...I wanna add somemore...but then you wouldn't care to read right?
and I'm so tired....
I miss my baby so much...we haven't seen or heard much from each other during what's going to be 2 weeks and 2 days of no communication between either of us.
I miss him so much...I wanna hug so bad... =(

Dance with me, make me sway
Like a lazy ocean hugs the shore
Hold me close, sway me more

it's friday already...
which means i'll be going off for church camp....
aaaaaargh...
maybe I should be a nice person and comfort myself with nice thoughts..and tell myself right now that maybe it's not going to be so bad, after all there are so many nice people there and we're all going to have nice good clean fun together...we shouldn't jump to conclusions like this...
yeah right...
today was nice...no one at home...nice to be all alone, just reading...doing what I wanna do. No one talking, no one I need to talk to, no unnecessary noise...it was a good day. I even had a nice nap, until my sister came home and switched on the bloody television.
let's see, I ironed the clothes needed, dried all the clothes from the washing machine, fixed up the pole in the room downstairs...haha...I am an absolute genius...haha...I am unstoppable...I've even finished HBP...
the things and number of things you can do uninterrupted...

when I stepped in the room
I bring the heat like the month of June
crank the volume make the bass go boom

well...today's been fun...
no dance until next week, which I am not in Singapore for...hmph!!!
I swear this holiday is super screwed or something...it is absolutely upsetting...
I mean I have NO idea how they talked me into going for church camp, cause I was never up for it and I'm seriously not into that kind of stuff. I mean I go to church worship, there is a God; I acknowledge him...and maybe a bit more, but i don't go into it so much. Now I'm going to be gone for like 4 days...4 FREAKIN' days with these church people 0.0 the horror for me. Due to this I can't go to ethel's on the 20th...and i'll be missing full dress for dance on 21st....AAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!

As if all of the above was not enough, I have to go back to malaysia on the 21st, in the evening, to re-do my damn malaysian IC. They got this new smart card system and you incur a 50 buck charge (not sure if it's ringgit or sing dollar). SO I'll be there until boxing day....-_-...and I DISLIKE going to malaysia....hopefully when I get back everything would be so much better. Hopefully I can go out and spend time with some of the girls and shop...

I may regret that i wrote this one day and go 'what the fuck was I DOING!?!??!' and yet maybe (hopefully not...)i won't...

I'm seriously pissed.

I have no idea why..maybe I shouldn't be cos I'm suppose to tolerate ( is that the word for it?) it, but I don't give shit anymore. how 'bout I just do my stuff and you do yours and when you feel you're like done over there then tell me, cos seriously...I feel like some idiot. I said it before...cos I really don't feel like aniticipating something to happen and it just DOESN'T! sure it's not like you told me, but hey...that's the way I function. take it or leave it.

I'm just pissed, I really don't get this...I cannot take this anymore...I won't, can't believe it. To me, it's virtually impossible...I don't know HOW to describe it. just forget it.

whatever.

That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long

I have truly come to know what it really means to be in a daze....
I just have to be doing things this week...if not, I think about things too much...
even reading helps...still got math to do though
I want to go out with people or person...when I mean go out, just to go walk, sit somewhere and talk stuff; girl stuff and catch up or even speak of mindless things. Not really in the mood of spending money till I see something I need. Being a bit stingy, esp since the working stint is over and the cash is for the next year.

I need to see the ij people...I miss them loads, can't explain it but yeah, I just do. I just cannot believe how busy this time can be, seems there's not going to be enoungh time for me to do all my things. you see, I 'm an absolute worry wort...however, I worry a lot about things ten years down the road instead of what's happening now. I do worry about things in the present, maybe just not as much, maybe i do...just that when I start to think of it, it just runs ceaselessly through my head and refuses to give me any ounce of peace. worst thing is I just don't seem to know what to do about it or what to do first if there are many things.

I just think that the year is ending too soon...I mean next year it's the 'A's and I won't even know if I can catch up like I did this year. I did catch up and I improved...okay...but THAT is not going to be enough for the 'A's. I won't even know if I'll be able to absorb all the chapters and this years' stuff. I won't even know if baby and I will have time for each other...both leisure and have study time together just like we did this year. Sure it would be less, but how much???? I won't even be able to know so many things!!! The future is ab-so-lute-ly UNPREDICTABLE and i'm scared....yeah scared, maybe terrified...a bit into terrified, maybe more?

I don't understand this...
why is narnia coing out on the 22nd when it's coming out on the 9th in malaysia and possibly all over the world?!?!?
I've been watching the trailers and omg...it seems that this movie might actually do the book some justice. Although it is a bit lord of the ringsy...but it's ab-so-lute-ly BEAUTIFUL!!!! i mean the screenplay is just so wonderfully done. The characters are beautifully cast; the white witch is beautifully merciless and her beuaty is so cold....and the pevensie children are just what the book described....haha...the animals are beautiful as well...I particularly like the wolves, the griffin and maybe the centaur as well. For those out there who haven't read them, I seriously highly recommend it and if you've read the lord of the rings, you should read 'the chronicles of narnia' by CS Lewis. There's another genius for fantasy. If only there were more good writers in the world....

my handphone's been a bit lonely...

It's late...
I'm actually tired, but somehow I just thought I should just drop in here...
my ankles hurt...so does my back...argh...3 days of dance straight...
sit-ups, crunches, push ups...stretching...but it makes me feel good...haha
We did good today I think..blocking and stuff's all out...just need to clean...which took like super long today...
I mean we just took damn long just to settle something...or rather so many things, but it was olright...
then headed to baby's to spend time together...had dinner, watched 'meet the fockers'...I mean what happened to moses, the dog which humps everything that moves...haha...and I wanna try a tom collins...it looks nice...

after that we decided to watch the tab tv episode on teen sex...wasn't the best thing I've seen. I mean the show just seemed to lack content. It just seemed to throw you these stories where the point would just be people having sex, sex and guess what? MORE SEX...HELLO!!! It somehow does not even bring across any particular message at all. I mean yeah, they're having casual sex, pre-marital sex...but don't just SHOW the stories...like evaluate or something...talk to these people...interview them...ask them what they would have done differently if they had another chance...you know questions like that? I mean though they are what ost interviewers would ask in such an event, but to me it seems to carry a better message. The little conference thingie...I mean the indian guy was ever so helpful...he hardly made himself noticeable. The poor SPG too...I mean it just seemed to me that they just put her there to attract the audience, to get them interested as they would want to anticipate her reaction to the questions they posed to her on her promiscuous life. I mean she's in a tough enough spot as it is, coming on national television as they proclaimed her promiscuous lifestyle to the 4 million population of Singapore. I know that she should probably should have been able to anticipate reactions as she should have known what she was gettignherself into, however I felt that the host and the others were just out to make her feel bad about herself...put her down due to the life she leads...and announce to Singaporeans 'this is bad...don't follow'. The way the SPG looked at daphne too, when she was questioned on the issue they were discussing at the moment, haha..she was like looking at her out of the corner of her eye and scanning or maybe just looking her over from head to toe, like saying 'yeah, right.' or 'shut-up stupid bitch...what do you know'. We stopped that and watched 'hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy' it was funny at first, but it soon lost our attention.

bussed home, bathed, talked to baby and he went to sleep...almost 12 now...sigh
baby's going to be out for the whole of next week...
I'll be going for church camp when he comes back, then he'll be going to m'sia when that happens....
I'll be going to m'sia on christmas eve, so little time...
esp since next year's going to be so busy...
whoever knew december could be so busy....
gotta start on my chem tomorrow....
and I'm getting sleepy -_-.....
nites....

Is it me....or am i starting to miss you aleady?

It's sunday and I'm at home
just lazing aroung..and thinking about HOW exactly I'm going to finish my holiday homework...
anyway, I tried to take a nap just now, however I was RUDELY awakened by my mei mei...who decided to just come in and lie all over my bed waking me up in the process. Now I can't get back to sleep...she better keep 4 eyes on that bear of hers...
my eyes are watering now and my nose is running...I think it's the dusty state of my room. I just saw the amount of dust on the bookshelf near the window and I was absolutely appalled at how I could let such a sight go unseen for the past month or so. I should get down to getting it officially dustfree, before we go down to m'sia and once I've finished my holiday homework.
need to go iron...

I miss holding your hand
the way mine and yours just fit so well,
swinging it as we walk....
I miss your hugs
they always seem to make me feel so secure,
holding me like you'll never let me go...
I miss your face
the way it makes all those expressions that just make me laugh,
the smile that matches it so well...
I miss your eyes
the way they look at me,
making me feel like i'm the only one in your world...
I miss your hair
just the way it looks and feels when I run my hands through it...
what about you?

I just had to post this..
my nails are long
nice and pink too...
omg...they look so damn good....
typical bimbo moment...

Baby, don't you know I love you so
Can't you feel it when we touch
I will never, never let you go
love you, oh so much

Somehow the blasted post has disappeared...
oh well...here we go again...
and baby's probably at the comp saying "I told you to save"
okay...my fault...I know...
Anyway..tuesday....TV night...CSI
weeeeeeee!
okay...I was lookinh back on my previous posts, for this year, and I have come to notice that the vocab has somewhat deteriorated and content has been rather something I would decline to speak of. Not that I have to type in bombastic words or add jargon...it's just something I noticed when I was reading them.

On to today...
I was taking the bus to work today...so happens that the 193 queue was long...as in it had extended out of its queue space and this set of people got a single decker bus. I just had to get on this bus to get to work early and leave early. Somehow I managed to squeeze myself onboard...problem being I was facing the back of the bus when the bus moved off. The bus was just so crowded I couldn't even re-orientate myself to a more stable position, so there I was in my heels, swaying as much as the crowd would allow everytime the bus came to a halt. I looked at the people on the bus...so I started wondering...which guy (yes, guy...) would stand up and offer a lady on heels a seat...and then the saying 'chivalry is dead' came to me...but then women wanted equality...so would that mean chivalry contradicts chivalry? just a thought in the morning. baby called while I was onboard the bus to tell me of his somewhat attempt at cooking cai tao kueh...needless to say the conlsion I made was that it was a disaster, but according to him the tast wasn't.

work was work...
Although I made it more bearable through reading old fanfiction while there and the typewriter made work a little more fun. What with all the trying to get the margins all the same, estimating and feeling a tiny sense of accomplishment...call me nuts but it really did. Just yesterday i was quite determined that I wanted to quit...the job had somehow become oh so unbearble. I took the calculator on my desk to see how I much I would be shortchanging myself...but when I punched in a couple of numbers...the amount of my full pay just sorta calmed me down a little...yes...the salary. So I decided to just go through teh rest of the days of work left...which is currently like 4...I end on tuesday...and then it's freedom.

I've been seeing my baby at least once a week...and everytime he pampers me so much...haha...he keeps telling me 'baby hen2 teng2 ne2 de'...and I really like it. Sunday we just went walk walking around orchard...or more like heeren and cine...told him I missed him so much so he decided that we go out and walk together a bit before he went off with the canoeists to play a bit of LAN at the e-max.

Tomorrow is my off-day and there is dance...
more stretching...more hip-hop...sounds good to me....ciao!

It's finally friday!!! YAY!!!!
I never thought I could love friday more than i already did...
anyways...work today was ab-so-lute-ly horrible, horrendous, unbearable, insufferable, tortuous, unbearable...wait I already said that.
there was nothing to do...AT ALL...the lady in-charge of me didn't come...took an off-day and since I finished what she gave me yesterday (I mean...how long does it take you to file stuff???) I had nothing to do. SO I had such a hard time trying to make myself look busy in front of everybody in the office. I looked through all the 6 arch files to make sure all the right invoices were under the correct company and that didn't last long....went up and down looking for the missing invoices...completed 3...but I needed that lady to check what can be sent in the mail and what can't....so that was left somewhat undone. Luckily for me...these people hardly stay in the office much...so I was pretty much left to my own devices for quite sometime, which was good. I napped a bit too inbetween. Another good thing was this happened after lunch, so I only had like 3-4 hours left. I surfed around a bit...read blogs...and re-read a story online to save myself from the somewhat eternal boredom.

bussed home...which was rather long....bathed and played a little navyfield and now I am here. baby went to sleep at like 7.30...he's got some race tomorrow, oh well...the HUGE majority of the day was largely wasted, what with there nothing to do, when I could have just stayed at home and rest, me being sick since wednesday.

Speaking of wednesday, that day was well spent...
morning was with baby...had lunch, then dance...auditions went better than the last one, however being selected is another story altogether. After that went to watch GoF with my baby...it would have been a rather good movie for those who've read the book, I mean they would be able to connect stuff pretty well, just anticipating what the director's vision would be in the next scene. However it lacked much coherence as I said before, it would be good for those who have read the book; one particular scene I remember would be the quidditch world cup...I mean after introducing all the playes...the movie just jumped to after the match had been played...baby got a bit lost. But then again, the books are getting longer and longer, stretching into hundreds of pages... and it gets harder and harder to squeeze significant content within a 3 hour slot. The effects and drama pretty much made up for what it lacked...so it was still rather good in the end. We went to eat dinner together and then baby sent sick ol' me home.

The pass few days has just been the usual which is work and work has been the usual...haha..
anyway, baby has been spending time with me..so my world is preeeeeeetty good now..haha
Sunday was like a whole day out...

we went out to buy mei mei a present for her birthday which was actually on saturday... baby met me after church and then we bussed to orchard and went bear hunting, cos mei mei wants a bear...yeah.
we were in centrepoint at first...but as usual all the stuff like this come at a rather "reasonable" price there.
got a bit demoralised so we decided to go eat...I had my pi dan zhou which i haven't had in a while and baby had duck rice...i took or rather he gave me some duck and i took some sauce from him and as well as a little of his soup. somehow duck soup always has this rather tangy and yet has a tinge of a metallic taste...don't really know how to describe it...it just has a rather distinct taste for it.

walked to PS dropped in on some stores to stare at things i like and can't take home with me without feeling the burn in my pocket. reached PS and then we decided since we had time to kill we'll walk all the stores we find interesting. Baby and I rather liked one...haha...more for what was in the display window. It was one of those stores where they sell house accessories like doorknobs, occasionally bathroom fixtures...what we saw was a sink cum aquarium...haha. baby was especially fascinated by it...it had the basic functions of a sink with faucet and drain....but the part which holds the basin of the sink was just hollow and converted into a fish tank. It was so pretty...haha...baby loves fish (as in live ones...) so I told him if we could have one next time, if he wanted a fish tank and it wouldn't take up too much space in the house. However I felt that the fish would have a rather terrifying time, maybe traumatising would be a better word...what with all the spitting into the sink, esp all the scrubbing of the sink when it needs cleaning, all this would be rather detrimental for the fish in it.

Walked on somemore and we saw a prospective present, a cow...it was cuddly enough for mei mei to hug...so KIV...walked somemore and saw this store with this SUPER cute bear...haha...but more expensive. now this store had some rather interesting products...haha...what with all the kinky stuff...like blow-up dolls which according to their instructions members of the opposite sex could use as a bathe tub companions haha...we then decided on the bear since mei mei wanted a one.

heehee...walked around somemore...walked back to orchard until we decided to go home...haha and then baby went to changi to meet his parents...t'was a good day and mei mei loves her bear... =) she takes it everywhere around the house with her except to bed and to dinner...haha...

I can't wait t o watch GoF...omg...haha...everyone tells me tom felton looked so hot in it...haha..esp all the suits for the yule ball..yum yum...i wonder how baby would look like in one of those...could he look anymore delicious than he already does...haha...there's dance tomorrow..yay!! Ciao reader...

well...project work is gone and now I've started working...

to comment, I somehow have started to dislike the job...I was rather indifferent to it at first, after all I have worked in an office before. The first day was pretty olright...i mean i was new, so no one really paid any attention to me...more like they just wanted to leave me to my own stuff. but this little 'ignore-the-part-timer' thingie just irks me. I mean...these people don't even talk to me in the face, refuse to make eye contact with me and ignore my presence...not like i demand that they give some undivided attention but at least a decent amount of it for an average person. I just go there...sit in my little (actually rather big chair...) type, type and type...file and file stuff...and the others just talk to each other in hokkien at the other end of the room. like wtf??? the whole day for 9 hours, that's how it goes...plus my back aches for some unknown reason, no matter how i sit in that chair. I'd rather do some waitressing job...i mean i dunno, service industry...people would most probably have at least some amout of SOCIAL skill and possible for them to speak ENGLISH, perhaps even a little friendlier. plus i'll probably be able to walk around instead of just sitting in a chair, typing ceaselessly with a tired back.

Anyway...the last week ended rather well...

baby took me out for dinner on friday...we went to fish & Co. ... at jurong point since it was rather convenient for both of us. We ordered calamari and swordfish collar so we could share...sat on the outside of the restaurant, it was like some balcony thingie...so it was nice, air-con gets too cold for me nowadays...so it was just nice and although the scenery was basically HDB flats with lights coming from windows...it was rather okay. I enjoyed it so much...haha...after that we just walked around jurong point aimlessly...i just like doing that, as in the walking around thingie...especiallysince I'm saving for now. after that he took 174 home with me, well almost...we just sat and talked on the bus.

sunday, we just went for lunch and spent a large amunt of the day exploring the new national library...looking at newspapers...he telling me about soccer, looking at diving mags...haha...then we went to explore the reference section...the video rooms, microfilm, and all kinds of books with strange titles, things you never thought could be in a book and in a library and strange titles and stuff...after that we just went home...the week ended pretty well for me...wish i could have more of this haha...

dance starts wednesday, finally some essence of activity!!

I'm the hottest thing in these streets...

today was rather good....
I pretty much just lazed around with op nagging on my mind...
church was okay...they had this really sweet choco fudge thingie at the refreshment table...yum yum...haha...after that went to that good peranakan restaurant which baby recommended last week to mummy. aunts thought it was pretty good, so i guess it is.

the day was quite boring actually, i know op is tomorrow, but i'm not really sure what i should actually do for it, as in...practicing is pretty much done...so i was just reading the script i wrote out..hopefully everythng goes well. i'm aiming for a 5-5 or a 5-4 at least...problem is projecting my voice. when i speak at the appropriate pace, i just suddenly become real soft...when i'm loud enough, i talk fast...so i've seriously got to figure this out...and fast.

gonna spend some quality time with my baby tomorrow...i'm happy...it's been a while since we have. he being real busy...i try to understand. however there are the times where i just become damn bitchy and insist on him being there. I dunno, for me i kinda need physical reassurance, like hugs, words...eh...do not really suffice, but i'm trying to make do with it all. I hope he understands me too.

going to need to head out to do pw...op's on monday...It's good it's early, cause I can get it done and over with, but can I say....too early. I just feel that there are so many things to do, too many loose ends...oh well.

oh yeah...my aunties are down and they brought a lot of stuff with them as usual, went into m'sia hari raya to go shopping and eat too...and

I CUT MY HAIR!!!!!

haha....like finally...after what...3 months???? baby thinks I look like a guy...haha...yesterdays pw was rather good...i think my group has improved way a lot and kudos to them all. I really hope things go well on monday and yeah...it happens just as I planned and hoped it would be.

Stayed behind yesterday to wait for my baby and his interview and then he came and played CS on arson's comp for a while...haha...omg...i swear, i love my baby so much, he's so good at everything...a person like that should be banned from earth...haha...the more i see, the more perfect he seems...haha...okay enough of that. Went for the interview and i had the uncontrollable urge to go SOMEWHERE but as usual we both didn't know where...and once again we were limited to my baby's schedule. In the end we ended up and clementi interchange...i dunno, we just sat on the 156 and it just went. It was a good time, although we didn't manage to do a lot of things...I thought the bus ride was good, i mean we haven't done it for quite a while...i miss it. baby headed of to NUS and I home...and to do my I&R...that piece of shit took me damn long...i just do not have a proper CLUE as to what exactly i'm supposed to do...haix...gtg eat my bf and then head out to sch...tata!!!

it's a double holiday this week...just that there's a break in between the holidays...causing a break in the holiday momentum, which I so dislike.

today has been rather productive...i mean for project work, we managed to do a lot of things. practice and improve the op and do the group presentation as well. I really hope everything works out okay, I mean the remark miss koh made about how it was so hard to even make it to meeeting expectations...it's just demoralising. maybe saying it much earlier might have been a much greater help for all of us. but i seriously have no idea why they had to moderate it until even average achievement is so hard to attain. some teachers might say that it's not impossible, but you know what that's not the point.

enough about ptoject work...it's seriously driving me crazy. i feel that i can't get my mind of it. got this interview for being a facilitator for orientation next year. I want that to work out too...i feel that i should not have much of a problem with it...but it's not wrong to have a few reservations i guess. chinese 'A's are also over...i can't say how bad it was...i mean wtf....why the hell did i study all that shit inside that file for...i mean not even a single word came out from there. why did i spend so much time writing those word, getting all worked up about how i may forget how to write it or that i might forget it's meaning? all unneccessary worrying, because it pretty much came to naught, and i guess the 'A' is as far away as the horizon is from the beach. excuse my french.

baby's gone home...I've been feeling quite upset. I dunno, i mean i feel so pathetic that i keep wanting some attention from him during this period of time. He wants to play soccer; i don't say anything, want to go play LAN; i don't say anything, wants to go home first; i know he's tired so I don't make any remarks about it. I don't want to be demanding and force him to spend time with me or make him wait fo me when he's so tired and i don't want to keep him from his friends so....yeah...he's also got so much stuff to do, so i try to understand...so i try not to demand too much, i don't want to push him away by making him do things he doesn't want to do....so i usually let him have his way. I guess i just need some reassurance and maybe words across the phone are not good enough for me, i don't know...but what i do know is i just need a hug...it somehow always seems to make things feel or seem better. do i have to pay him to give me one? would extorting one work?

maybe once i get used to not having him around, everything would be much better, but wouldn't that spell trouble? i have no idea, hopefully this whole thing turns out for the better. I don't want to loose my independence in this relationship, more importantly i don't want to loose myself in it and forget who i am...maybe i'm becoming too dependent on him? we've somehow run out of stuff to do, stuff to talk about out, places to go;we usually just end up with quite an amount of tension deciding...it just seems to be getting all weird...all we seem to talk about is games, school, do you miss me, do you love me...blahblah...nothing else much. is it wrong to say I'm a bit worried?

maybe we started off too early, maybe we don't know each other as well as i should or maybe we don't know each other as well as we think we do. somehow i'm very afraid that he didn't know what he was getting himself into, and now that he does....he might not be able to take the emotional baggage that is me and decide to pack up and leave. i'm gonna play some NF and not think about this and maybe if i can bring my emotional drive down a notch or more, this would solve itself...for better or for worse...

I'm drowning in PW...it's absolutely taking over my life. Had the dry run for OP and needless to say it was horrible, nwevousness I hope...and I hope it's not us. anyway...yeah, spent some time with my baby, his physics olympiad didn't go too well yesterday...haha..but he's okay with it. He's still got chemistry olympiad anyway, he should do well for it...and there's still that exchange programme he's going to be doing for the school, which he'll be away for like 10 days. my busy little boy...haha...feeling good about it and a little selfish. selfish because he's not going to be spending a lot of time with me during the school hols...oh well...I don't know. an

anyway baby and I were talking today about hamsters...haha...weird right...okay, at least I think it was weird. I mean talks about those little rodents??? anyway, it was rather weird, we were just talking about the hamster hibernating and I said what if the other hamster couldn't hibernate cos the other was snoring. Then we went on to picking on their small minds....like if you put two hamsters on two different wheels facing each other..they'd be wondering why they never met....haha...the wheel came up because baby said I needed to go exercise. Then we said something about, hjamster wheel 3000...haha...instead of playstation, they'd either have hamster station or wheel station...haha...it was so funny just sitting there talking about it. he's going to play LAN tomorrow with his classmates, so I guess I'll be heading home alone after chinese....I still have the stupid I&R to do and dinner to eat...tata.

today's been extremely good...just sitting at home...play a little computer, study a bit of chinese, watch some good television and just talk to my baby. We're back to normal...okay, maybe normal isn't the word...more like we've patched up, and it sure feels good..haha...I guess the good thing is we patch up fast. Need to sort out my I&R though...I'm drowning in project work....I seriously want it to go well, especially the oral presentation.

I actually need to do some work during the hols...my physics needs a real lift and I need to refresh my knowledge on chem, haha...it being my bestest subject and all. I guess this is year isn't so bad after all..haha...looking back on it..baby made it all so good. I'll think about this later, not forgetting I still need to be working haha...hmmm.