Pain comes in all forms; the small tinge, a bit of soreness, the random pain, the normal pains we live with everyday. Then there’s the kind of pain you can’t ignore. A level of pain so great that it blocks out anything else. Makes the rest of the world fade away. Until all we can think about is how much we hurt. How we manage our pain is up to us.

Pain. We anaesthetize, ride it out, embrace it, ignore it. And for some of us the best way to manage pain is to just push through it. Pain. You just have to ride it out. Hope it goes away on its own. Hope that the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions. No easy answers. You just breathe deep and wait for it to subside. Most of the time pain can be managed but sometimes the pain gets to you when you least expect it. It’s way below the belt and doesn’t let up. Pain. You just have to fight through because the truth is you can’t out run it. And life always make more.

- Grey's Anatomy "Bring the Pain"

I am going to make an effort to like watch grey's anatomy...cos...i don't know...it IS the medical world and I like it. And yes, I like the getting excited over the 'the-gorier-surgery-the-better-it-is' thing...

anyways, I am somewhat peeved right now...if not for the fact that I am financially reliant, wanting to keep things together and that i can't cook very well, right this moment, i really feel like up and leaving.

Firstly, I mean what kind of person comes home and doesn't even FUCKING border to hang up clothes that have been sitting in the stinking washing machine for half a day?!?? Instead you not only walk pass it...but you actually opened it, with the intention of throwing your dirty socks into it, saw it was full of wet clothes and dumped your dirty socks in the laundry basket instead. It wouldn't take up like a frikkin hour to hang it up!!!

Secondly, so there wasn't anyone home early enough to cook the rice (i knew i couldn't rely anyone to do it, when I was rushing off to church from home after coming back from work), you decide to go out and eat. Fine, although i don't see the point of doing that when rice could like cook in 40mins, you don't even bother to 'da-bao' anything back for kor kor and I to eat at all when we were like OBVIOUSLY coming home late. Just to describe how obvious, they actually called to ask.

I mean seriously, I am doing more if not a lot more than an average person my age should, ndering how I should spend every dollar...having to stretch like $10 a week in JC. Paying practically EVERYTHING through own bank, until it almost dried up and I shouldn't have to pay my way through _______ school. I mean it's supposed to have been planned out...wasn't it? Having to pay for things that aren't mine? I mean okay, it's supposed to be family...but what about me?

am I even appreciated?

There was this DISC test we took in secondary school, I happened to be a very high D...being dominant. Being D, our biggest fear is to be taken advantaged of...and I can testify to that. Right now, I feel not only stupid but pathetic...I hate that I have such a conscience...I mean my sisters are like they don't mind my mum doing stuff, but she fucking mops the house upstairs and down, cleans all the toilets, cooks dinner for all of us for the whole week and has a freaking office job. You'd think they actually think beyond themselves? I'm not saying i'm like a total saint, but this is right in front of you, happeneing in your own home...i just don't get it.

I can't help thinking...all the time I did all that stuff, what if I didn't, would have been able to do better for my 'A's? Cos I sure as hell didn't have as much time as the freak sleeping away on the table downstairs or the one far away...and if I definitely could have, then I seriously feel cheated. I feel like I'm being torn up bit by bit, I keep thinking that there's something better than this but right now...I don't think there is anymore.

have i told you how much i need you?

Today was just Sunday...
woke up, went to church...sermon was about patience, although i didn't detect much of a lesson invoved. More of a tell-you-my-funny-story kind of thing and then go back to the topic and verse for a little reminder.

Came back, had lunch and then headed off to springdale for my engrish tutoring job...it was olright...i mean considering she's from IB i didn't really know what to do, i just went with the general stuff, turned out it was rather okay...just needed to gauge as to where exactly she stands. Came home, hung out the clothes, took a bath and now I am here...oh so tired as usual...

Saw this quiz on my jie jie's blog thought i'd give it a go actually a large porportion of it was rather accurate...give it a go if you please...

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

it's late
and I am so so tired...
commuting from buona vista to orchard is just so tiring...
I HAVE TO MAKE THIS WORK!!!
I just have to get it started...confidence...

anyways, these few days have been pretty heavy, been commuting between the office at ayer rajah and another one at orchard. I shouldn't be complaining, i need to do this, otherwise it would just be impossible to accomplish what i need to do later on in life. Maybe I'm just scared, scared i won't be able to make it, scared of what I'll have or rather need to do...basically just scared of failing. Being independent in the past has led to too many mistakes for me, although I hate being dependent on someone or something...independence has lost some of it's lustre. Don't get me wrong, I still am very much independent in certain parts of my life, others have just slackened.

Anyway, the day was alright...rather slow in terms of work, still alright. This job hasn't gotten to me yet...people ar nice, they keep giving me stuff to eat and eat, cos they think I am waaaaay too skinny for a human being. Problem is that the stuff they eat is like really oily and stuff, like nasi lemak and char kway teow, which after eating makes me feel extremely uncomfortable. I just want to drink and drink more and more water to just flush all the crap out or something.

after work, travelled to orchard to meet sean and start work there. Was there until late, took the bus home after that, had dinner and now i think I shall go to sleep...

Hello!!!
today was good...the radio in the office does wonders for the environment, it just adds that little much needed entertainment. Mummy says it's called pipe music...and luckily it's on class 95...imagine the horror of listening to a chinese station the WHOLE day!!! I mean occasionally is fine, like when I sit in ben's parents car, but the whole day is just too much.

2 reasons why i am so contented with today...one, there was just so much work to do, it just kept coming in man...right about now you must think I am mad, but i think that I have come to realise that I am on the verge of becoming a workaholic and I don't seem to mind it. I was just on the go, on the go and I didn't mind picking up calls for people and taking messages. two, my boss called me in to say that he was impressed with my speed of doing things...he was rather surprised that I was using the SAP system to do quotations, cos he thought that the lady beth would just teach me to use word to generate them as it was just easier. SO i am a happy girl!!!

lunch was just chicken rice and i decided to try out walking from buona vista to holland v to take a bus...definitely cheaper...but timewise...maybe not much of a difference. Went for a run at about 7 and then came back, bathed and now i am here...shall be going for dinner soon...ciao!!!

today was like the best day ever...haha.

woke up at like 10...much later than i intended, but anyway changed and headed over to baby's and waited to go out for lunch. His mummy came back with michelle and chuangyang and we went to pick his daddy. Had dim sum buffet at tung lok seafood restaurant at the arena (opposite SAFTI MI), it was rather enjoyable, with the exception that it was really oily, but it was really good...it was so happy...haha. Took a few photos and then we went to QIAN HU FISH FARM!!!

It was just fish, fish and more fish, it was so exciting and they were just so so so beautiful. All the arowanas, stingrays, parrot fish, they even have this twin head tortoise. The fighting fish were also so beautiful, their colours were so electric...they even had this electric blue lobster...it was just so indescribable. Baby's love for fish has just rubbed off...haha...after walking around followed michelle and chuangyang to go lonkang fishing. surprisingly it's really difficult, although chuanguyang was like damn fast, he caught so many and they kept jumping out. They even have these big ponds of water outside for rearing arowanas, you could see them swimming around when they come close to the surface and they were so beautiful to see.

after our lonkang fishing experience, headed to farmart . we went there, fed goats some veggies, saw rabbits , guinea pigs, cute hamsters and mice...weee...plus super huge arowana, even bigger than those at qianhu and the huge snapping turtle. we even saw dogs...there was one cute quiet one just sitting in the cage watching...unlike the rest which were either running around or sleeping, it was just sitting there looking so cute...after that went back to baby's and napped a bit, spent some quiet time together...and then came home.

It was one amazing day!!!

HAPPY 2ND YEAR ANNIVERSARY BABY!!

weeee...anyways, the days started normally...went to work, I must say work at drager is much more enjoyable, there is a high possibility of work coming through the entire day, keeping me busy (which is what I like.)

during lunch i was just stuffed, I had like a whole bowl of ban mian and after that some of my other colleagues anne, shirley and kim cam to eat. They bought like nasi padang and every person's packet could like feed 2 and a half people. They then gave me like another portion fit for one, plus some beef and a chicken wing. I was like omg. In the end, i ate like a few mouthfuls of rice, finished the chicken and beef and pretty much threw a lot away. I did feel guilty, but there really was no other way. so back to work.

after which met baby at orchard and we went of to ramen ten for RAMEN!!! The quality of the meal wasn't as good as the one we got at their branch at orchard point before it closed ad was replaced by starbucks. after dinner, we went walk walk and then headed for home.

tomorrow we shall go to qianhu fish farm, weeeeeeeee!!!

It's monday....weeeeeee!!!!
anyways, I have once again joined the ranks of the employed...right when baby goes for block leave which starts on wednesday, well actually tomorrow since tomorrow is POP. I'm pretty excited i guess...I mean I don't have any brothers and stuff, so yeah...it'll be pretty cool...i hope i see people i know too...to talk too. ben's mum's gonna be picking me up...

Woke up at like 8...did the morning routines and then headed of to Ayer Rajah Crescent for a job interview. The HR lady was a bit scary...it was fine until she said 'you're only available till july? that's less than 6 months' i basically didn't answer that question...i just smiled...I mean the recruit agency said 3 months and now you're telling me 3-6 months...not my fault. Anyway the boss came in and we had a pretty lighthearted chat...very casual...just to see how I communicated...and I got the job. So I had to head down to the agency to sign a contract which happened to be conveniently located in orchard, so after doing that I decided to do a little window shopping...I'm still on the look out for those tote bag looking things, only things is, most out there are horrible or they just don't strike me as nice at all.

After that headed home and kor let me watch night at the museum on the comp...and now I'm here....I shall be heading out for a run later...I can't believe tomorrow is Tuesday=)

why hello...
another day without work and is it me or does the weather suck...
it's like major hot or something. maybe it's because i was stuck in an air-conditioned office and hence had no idea what daytime weather is like.

today was pretty much lazy day...didn't do much...just called a 2 places to offer to give tuition. I was telling one of them that i would like to teach maths and chem...or general science...and she was like so what about english, history, geography lit? i was like uh...no humans just those i said...and she was like..."you wanna teach so few only arh?" -_-...
For lunch, kor and I had like spaghetti with too much diluted spaghetti sauce...but i thought it was okay...after that went for a nap...and then got a call for an interview...weeee!!! After a week...like thank god...at least now i'll have something to do instead of just sitting around at home in this horrendous weather. Although i do rather enjoy the hanging up clothes to dry part. I get some strange joy from seeing them hang out to dry.

somehow...i wish i was back in school...
speaking of school...i tried to apply for NUS...but the application form was like so long, with so much stuff to fill and stuff i don't even know what i should fill or if i should even fill it. I still have my doubts about this bio thingie too...but i really don't know if i should take my chances with NTU..is it truly disadvantage as compared to being an NUS student???

I'm so going for a run later

It's wednesday people...
mid work week...
and i still haven't found a job...
the job offers haven't been particularly good actually, not that there aren't any...like $5 an hour working an officie job and $1000 a month with OT like until 7-8pm...
it just ain't worth it.

so the search goes on.

I have been sending resumes out like crazy...i don't even remember which company i sent them too and when i went back to check the job listings i can't even recall whether i've already sent my resume for that job or not...basically, the pressures of getting a job are rather great...and i just don't have much control over it, i just call and send out resumes and sit and wait for a reply. if there is one at all.

sad things aside...i am proud to say that i ran for like 20mins today...wee...and i usually do 15 and i actuall managed to run a further distance in the usual 15 mins, so i decided why not do another 5 mins...and it felt damn good. I was also in town in the afternoon, headed down there for an interview with some job agency with my cousin anson, who had class to get to. I wanted to do some window shopping, to see if i could get a new bag, but decided not to do that till i got a job. so yeah, i think i'm rather cruel to myself...i hardly self indulge...i do it like once in a billion years. perhaps it's because i have this fear that once i start i can't stop? Or that i keep thinking i don't deserve it yet? Or that i'm being too calculative? I mean the things i think are expensive are rather cheap for most people i know...like i'm only willing to fork out $20 for a nice bag.

I think i'm insane.

It's tuesday...
I'm feel quite happy without a job...but then...there's the downside being that i have no spending power. Not that I need to spend a lot now, there's nowhere and no one to go out with now, i would actually like to be busy. Especially since baby's not around, i need the mind to be busy so the days pass much easier and faster for me. His POP is next week, and then the block leave comes for 2 weeks...i really wanna spend time during the weekdays...where places are a little much quieter, but if i've already gotten a job...it's gonna be a little hard for that, plus mummy would highly object to placing quality time over making money...dum di dum.

Well, results came out last Friday...didn't really have time to walk much about it. CJC did really well...we're moving up the academic ladder, which i'm really proud. I for one don't believe that mission schools should suffer as a dumping ground...a place to put the "unwanted". Anyway...I would say this is the first time i've felt this quiet satisfaction in me. It's not a kind of ecstacy where i believed that i've done some extraordinary feat, but knowing i've reached somwhere i think. Perhaps it's a little of Karen's 'aim high but don't expect much' thing...but then again it's not. For the first time I don't feel like something has been robbed off of me, although I do wish that the B was an A...after all it would make the cert look a lot better when applying for things like being a tutor. I may not have proved to a certain someone that I'm an 'A' student, but it doesn't seem to bother me so much...perhaps it was just all about someone else. It's not like I have nowhere to go...I do and at the end of the day, I will show you i can make it!!! I will not be a taitai!!!

anyway...that aside...after results...hung around school for a while then baby and I headed to baby's home, watched some discovery channel. Then went out with his parents, sister and sister's bf for dinner...which was rather pleasant. =) after which baby and I walked around orchard for a while, although we did discover that it was 9+ and there wasn't really much to look at at that time and headed home.

Can I say I can't wait for the next week....

I
HAVE
OFFICIALLY
JOINED
THE
RANKS
OF
THE
UNEMPLOYED!!!

Today marks my last day at thhe dreaded offshore island...aka Jurong island...
After the boss almost pissed me off today...I felt happy to be leaving, but after thinking about how nice the people there are to me and how they've helped me through these past 1 and 1/2 months...I feel kind of sad. Anyways...i shall have to start looking for another job myself tomorrow so that money comes in like A LOT faster than when it goes out.

greetings from malaysia my people...
haha...
I'm back here once again for the new year as usual.

Set out this morning for the long drivr to tuai ma's(great grandma), which was rather eventful. We left at about 9 and headed towards the woodlands checkpoint. surprisingly there was like no jam...weeeee!!! then we got to the malaysian checkpoint which was unusually super jammed up. We like waited in one queue for 1 hour moving only like 1 metre during that period of time...it was ratehr strange seeing as during the times when we occasionally go in it's hardly jammed...the worst it gets to is just slow moving traffic. I can handle slow moving traffic, i mean at least you feel like you're getting somewhere and not stuck in one place. When we got pass that, it was just the tolls...i can't remember which one it was that we got jammed in. In a way it is pretty unusual for a jam to form at a toll, but it happened. As usual it got into the usual 'no moving' state and then all of a sudden one guy pressed on the horn and then everybody joined in. It was like absolute chaos....and i just wanted it to stop...i am a person who really dislikes noise. Turns out some reallt stupid people got into a little accident in front of the toll and decided to hold everyone up, get out of their cars and see who could shout who's head of in the middle of the road. like wtf...take it to the side of the road man...not everyone here wants to be involved in your bloody argument.

so those were just the terrible parts of travelling...we finally reached tuai ma's at like 2.30pm..had like a light lunch there and then people started arriving...which signaled the start of 'hong bao collecting' haha....daddy began playing black jack with the aunts and uncles, while the rest of us just talked with the others. People just continued to pour in...apprently there seemed to be news that one of my super tai tai aunts is pregnant. She actually came down in a lotus last year...and we were just wondering how in the world she would fit in it...i mean given that it's such a low riding car and with the newly added curves.

Had dinner with the many people and we left at about 7 plus and drove up to visit maternal side, not before we dropped at this humongous textile place just selling...textiles. mummy headed to a few stores to look at the curtains...we saw a couple of really nice ones at first but a pity they were either all sold out or didn't come in white. The trip wasn't wasted though, we actually found somthing nice, then it was another hour to the aunts.

Feeling so so tired, and there's still pizza to eat...i feel the sore throat's coming back...ciao!!

where did you go?

day 4

Dear Valentine, come away with me. If I had a day with you and you only, I would enjoy the simple things. The things that bring joy to the drudgery and the mundane, the things that, in the end, when time steals the rest away, are the only things we'll remember. I would paddle you across a still lake in a rowboat and read poetry to you until you fell asleep, and I would never ever think about the hours.

Dear Valentine, if I had one day with you and you only, I would admire every line of your face, every strand of your hair, every graceful movement of your hands or your eyes or your body. If I had one perfect day. Don't you see, my heart beats only for you?

Dear Valentine, these are the things I remember, my love... A warm hand, your warm breath, your warm mouth, your arms around mine. I remember feeling safe, ceaseless, like one person, the two of us, still, at rest, entwined. I remember how I felt the first time I kissed you. It felt like... the high dive. What do you remember? How will I ever know what was inside your heart? Where do they go, all the things we think and feel but don't say?

Dear Valentine, these are the things I never told you, these are the things I need you to know... that I loved you always, and my love was so big, it lives still after you're gone. I'd like to tell you that I would do it differently, that if I had one more day I would do everything right. But I know that not to be true. I'd make all the same mistakes. That is, except one... I wouldn't say good-bye.

Happy Valentine's Day...

day 3

I’m bringing sexy back
Them other boys don’t know how to act
I think it’s special, what’s behind your back?
So turn around and I’ll pick up the slack

back from work...
feeling very very tired...
anyways...work was rather pleasant, with tht absence of the lady boss...
when she left, the office was so much more pleasant and i didn't feel as if there were a pair of eyes watching me...
when i had nothing to do, i need not to go on a frantic search to find things to do and when things came, i got them done. I wish work could always be like this.
After work...,mummy told me to go to the polyclinic to get medicine for my cough, so i went to find the polyclinic, which took me forever. Having gotten there, i found it close at like 4.30pm. i mean wtf...people knock off work at the earliest 5?? how was anybody going to make it there?? i just didn't understand it. So i went to guardian and bought cough mixture and lozenges. I swear my house is a like barren, in terms of medicine. after which i took the bus all the way home.

bathed and am here now...dreading that today is ONLY tuesday...and that tomorrow would be wednesday. I am willing for time to past faster, especially during work...where i'm just "locked up" on that island, with no where to go. Plus the cough just aggravates then situation. basically, i'm just suffering...AAH!!! all for money!!! omg...I can't believe myself...

Anyways, i was watching the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show last night right after the chinese show at 9,when this beautiful creature caught my eye...Adriana Lima...she was first in the castings...omg...her face was just beautiful. she had this girlsh but yet exotic look...and her eyes are amazing and so is the body. i like. After watching...the need to go gyming has increased...i seriously need some abs to like APPEAR!! I need nice legs...not nicer legs..but nice legs...and a nice butt. haha...problem is...the 'gym' is missing in the 'gym-ing'. I'm too upper body focused...i need help with the lower...anyone i can consult?? justin timberlake's presence also just made the show so much hotter, his fabulous dancing and popping never fail to amaze.

day 2

well, i'm at work...blogging...
my boss is out...so i'm just taking a little risk right not, cos the boss of my boss is still around...
anyways...went for the NTU alks yesterday with a couple of the girls. It was a pretty good eye opener...it's just sad that NUS doesn't have this kind of stuff, cos there's just no way to compare and i don't wanna be swayed by the words people say. I also don't wanna be swayed by my own biasness towards NUS. Met lots of people I had lost contact with...haha..like miss eu-nice chew...she didn't even know i'd cut my hair...that was like 2 years ago!!! met some other CJ people...some I recognised, some I knew. Met jeremy and liting too...haha...seeing them reminded me of baby.

After the talk jolene, cherie and I just decided to walk around and just window shop. Actually, that was more me. anyway..shopping with them was a rather new experience. I walked into stores i myself would never have walked into and actually found some nice stuff. We decieded to drop into zara...seeing as i've never been in zara before in my whole life. Stepping in there was, like stepping into a new world. I wouldn't say it's high fashion, that would be an exaggeration, it's more like fashion higher than what we usually look at. I walked around...and was utterly amazed at all the clothes, most of them were really nice, something i'd love to go to work in when i'm like in my 20s, i mean cos they would define a sort of high status. Yhen again...as i was thinking further...i realised i do have friends my age who actually shop there. They say they shop during the sales...but looking at some of the clothes which range from like $60-$200+++ how much cheaper can they get really? where exactly do they get the money from? I'm not pointing fingers at anyone...it's just a curiosity that I have. Do parents out there really give out this kind of money? Or is it just because i'm like weird? mango itself is no different...so yeah...it was just something i was thinking about the past few days.

anyway...baby's at field camp...no contact for 6 days...something i hope i can get by with. i mean, usually the week passes real fast...and plus there's work to keep myself busy with and when I get home, i'm so tired i just go to sleep. He won't be out for v-day too...so we'll just see what cny has in store for the 2 of us. I'm still not even sure if we're even going back to m'sia at all, if we aren't then i suppose it's good for us, cos we'll be able to spend saturday together. I heard there's a possible half day on friday for work..so...more time for me to go home and sleep too. Other than all this...there's nothing much to consider in the week...i'm just looking towards friday. i still have a really bad sore throat and cough...in addition a headache after drinking all the ginseng root thingamajig. I am one sickly person.

Plus, i think i've been overeating the past month, i mean yes i am skinny and i should eat more, but not at this rate...I feel so bloated and disgusted. I'm usually able to like eat 70% full and then eat a little small snack like a piece of bread later when i'm hungry..but now i don't, so i eat a lot in one go. As a result...i have this extra, how do i say this? extra ring of fat around the area just above my hips, which has never been there before, it's not a lot...just a thin layer enough for me to notice. I wanna go out to run, but i'm still sick, making it impossible for me to do so...so i'm pretty stuck. stuck just doing crunches and push-ups. i have this desperate need to weigh myself. i always forget when i go to baby's house. i have no desire to gain nor lose weight....i just wanna maintain it. omg...could living be anymore stressful..haha...

do you miss me like i miss you?

I sound like a man...omg...this has got to be the worse sore throat ever. throw in a terrible cough and i look or rather sound like i've got some contagious disease.

A lonely saturday...
baby's still in camp...he won't be booking out today, cos he's got field camp starting sunday for a whole 6 days...later i shall be heading over to papa's office to just sit there and read, sleep and eat. In the evening we shall go shopping...weeeeeeee....

Yesterday, after work went to the driving centre to register for my basic training. Took an extremely long bus ride there from lakeside. I didn't even think it would take that long, the ride just never seemed to end. The procedure was quite simple. no hassle at all. I did however find out that i had lost my posb card. I was super freaked...i even took out all my cards and peered into all the pockets to make sure it wasn;t hiding in there. So i had to queue again to pay by cash. While waiting, met alicia and her father...after that was settled, I had to think when i last used the thing, which happened to be last week. After i deposited some cash I realised i must have forgotten to take it. Called posb and they said that the machine realised that I hadn't taken my card so they've already issued me a new one. Being relieved, went to book a test date...omg...march was totally booked up and I have wait till like April and I was planning to be able to drive by the time I reach u. Hopefully possible, despite the late test date. I liked the driving centre, it seems rather comforting? like it didn't look so bad...or anything too intimidating. Waited for the shuttle bus to bukit gombak mrt and took the mrt and then bused home. Bathed, talked to baby and had dinner. Daddy found my new posb card in the mail...this one's better...it's got my name on it...haha...took the coungh med and then I went to sleep.

I never thought i could miss you so much...
what's going to happen next week??

for the second day in a row...i haven't gone to work...
i actually planned to...but after mummy dropped meimei off i felt extremely terrible...so i told mummy that maybe i should go home. Cos if i suddenly decided during work that i couldn't take it, there's like no way to get back until 6. it kind of saddens me that i've lost money from not going to work these 2 days.
so came home...slept...had lunch and slept until i couldn't sleep anymore. this was about 12...decided to do some washing seeing how sunny it was outside. Then, had my lunch...drank some ginseng tea and slept again. Basically, it was a really lazy day for me...i feel rather alright now...just that my voice sounds terrible, like a little nasal due to the sore throat. Went through a terrible headeache, which just would not go away, in the afternoon. Then i started thinking of all sorts of weird stuff...like maybe I have like a tumour or something or maybe my brain's being eaten away inside my own head by something, making it hurt so bad...well, the headache's gone now...so i guess it wasn't cause by that. I didn't even switch any of the fans on the whole day for fear that the headache would just come back. It really sucks being sick like this.
i really miss school.
'O' level results will be out this Friday...so 'A' levels will be on the way too...I have my doubts, I've done all i can...maybe it's not enough?

the start of another new week...
although it didn't start off very well.
before that, let's recap the weekend...

saturday was pleasant...
ben's mummy came to pick me up and we went to pick baby up after he booked out in the morning. made a detour to the army market to get some stuff and off we went to fetch chuan yang. ben's mummy cooked lunch and then baby napped while i played some sims...weee!! i had long forgotten about that...haha...

watched some tv and then headed to town to have dinner at cartel...i decided to move out of my eating comfort zone and have pork ribs...haha...seeing as i had salad for 4 days in a row for work...it's time for some meat!!! reached home at about 10 and then i went to sleep.

sunday was alright except for the trip into malaysia...i had my long awaited hair cut =) and dinner...and we went shopping. i felt ab-so-lute-ly terrible...as i felt so under the weather...my knees hurt, so did my back and the air-conditioned environment didn't help either. At least we went my 2nd link...and got home fast after spending a bomb on grocery shopping. I did receive some tragic news upon my return to Singapore...For all who know Mrs Magdelene Low, please pray for her and her family...that they may find the courage within themselves to push on and that Mrs Low herself would find the strength to be able to continue being a mother to her children as well as her students. The only subject she taught me was ME but she did play a special part in the lives of my older and younger sister having taught them lit and english respectively. For all those who knew her would know how amazing she is at both, hopefully in this time of grieving she would be able to receive support from all those close to help her get through this.

home from work much earlier today...cos I was feeling most terrible at work. The place was freezing...i wore 2 jackets and still felt like an ice popsicle. I couldn't concentrate, my head felt like it was about to explode and my back felt like it was about to break. I like finished a whole tray of panadol there...but it didn't prove to work much. so after work, mummy picked me from lakeside and brought me home. after drinking some black concoction I slept for so so long...woke up when baby called me. =) He just finished guard duty and wanted to tell me he saw dolphins during his shift...haha...that was interesting. I told mummy and she was like 'dolphins? at tekong?'...haha...
anyways...i guess i shan't be going to work tomorrow, seeing as what a terrible state i'm in.

it's tuesday...
and the weekend just seems so far away...it seems that everytime I work, i only look forward to the weekends. Not that i didn't when I was schooling, but it's pretty alright to sleep during classes or in between classes, as in not out of the ordinary, but it isn't during work.

It just always happens during work, perhaps due to the lack of things to do??? I discreetly catch 40 winks here and there. Especially since sunday was 'house cleaning' day, there was an extreme reluctance to get out of bed. It's extremely horrible having to get out of bed so early 5 days a week...although I did do it like 9 years of my life. The perks of an office environment, such as an air-conditioned environment, soon become a bane. The dry air makes your eyes, nose and throat dry, hence making you sleepy and uncomfortable, plus it makes you feel like you're on the verge of falling sick everyday you go to work. To make matters worse, I get cold very easily, so I feel extremely uncomfortable.

Anyways...the weekend was really good, besides the house cleaning on Sunday. on Saturday, woke up, went for a run, came back and helped to clean the front of the house. The shoe cabinet, door, doorpost and the grilles. The amount of dust that has collected over the year is disgusting...especially with the contribution of the massive re-construction that my neighbour's house went through. After that, bused to baby's house after he had finished the NE programme at SDC. His mummy 'da bao-ed' the nice ban mian from the back of his house for lunch and we watched some TV together. Watched army daze together and he played a few games of dota while i napped. Went out at about 6 to lot 1 to buy some stuff and after that to orchard. We had dinner at vilage, which is the newly re-vamped marche...service is a little better, although there aren't many foreign chefs like there were in marche. Other than that, it was a really good dinner. =) walked around a bit and then headed home. Just like that, a day is over and sunday evening he went back. It just makes you wish for more time in a day.

work has been rather olright this week so far...
with the exception of the constant desperation to look busy when i have nothing to do.

The people are fun to be around with...the only problem still being the 'ulu-atedness' of the place, my constant hunger to eat something and the oily food. I have this reaction to oily food..it's not an allergic reaction like 'break-out-in-hives' kind of thing. My throat just gets really phlegmy, my stomach just feels like throwing up and I feel like scrubbing my sides clean or something like that. I apologise if I have made you queasy, but it's how it is. I tried bringing bread...but it doesn't fill you for long...then you might say, 'bring more'...but then eating so much bread just makes you never want ot eat bread again in your life. To think that I am actually contemplating to stay there for 5-6 months. I mean it's good money and stuff, but to imagine yourself stuck out there...is just a little unbearable.

The boss was supposed to set-up a computer at my table for the past 2 days...and it has still yet to be done. From what I hear, it's a rather scary move...because it means she's gonna be giving me A LOT more stuff to do and from what I hear... she's one of those psycho workaholic kinds who don't give very good instructions. I have been there 2 weeks without a PC, can you imagine that...you must wonder what the hell i do there. That would be just filing, calling people (which I hate) and at times answering phone calls. I suppose that would all change once the PC comes along. The people there say time moves A LOT faster with one to interact with.

The people there speak tonnes of chinese and dialect...people who know me well enough know how amazing my command of chinese and dialect is. With chinese, i'm quite okay...I just have problems conveying certain ideas and messages. My dialect ability is non-existent...I didn't even know what 'chi she' meant. Directly translated it means to eat snake...meaning slack. However, the people make it rather alright.

I HAD plans to learn to drive during this 6 months while I work...but looking at the cost...perhaps not. Even after working for 6 months...I would be left with almost nothing. I planned to learn how to drive before going to the U...plus since I'm working in the most 'ulu-ated' place in Singapore, makes it hard to commit to lessons. Anyway....baby's booking out tomorrow...after 2 weeks of confinement...I feel to happy and excited to see what he looks like. haha...what with the bald cut now. I just want to hug him...so much after not seeing him for so long. =)