It's late...I should be asleep but I am troubled...

I feel guilty, but yet I feel that I have done no wrong...

I don't know what to feel...

HELLO!!!

Yes, I haven't posted since the start of school, so here I am.

Had a genetics test today...was a bit screwed, cos I switched question halfway cos I realised the question I was doing wasn't as easy as I thought...probably cos I didn't really have the time to put much thought into that journal paper. I switched...so everything was pretty okay until the last part, I was trying so hard to remember where I saw the information in the midst of the 12 pages of research accounts and diagrams...I actually missed one whole part and I only saw it at the end. oh well...it wouldn't really be the first time I messed up a CA.

For the CNY break...it was just pretty much exhausting...sitting in the car for hours to get from place to place. My butt hurt so much, must have gotten lousy due to the lack of long road trips for a while. Went to the usual places again...my dad side to see people we don't see for like 364 days a year and back to my mum's side. After which everyone from my mum's side came down to spend 4 days here.

The house was just super noisy...mmmm...noisy has bad connotations...maybe FULL? There was just people everywhere, so full of chatter...it was a bit noisy...like somehow the old people voices resonant from one part of the house to the other without the sound waves loosing any energy whatsoever. People hardly went out...so it was just pretty much saturated with people most of the time. It had its good points as well, so it wasn't that bad. Everyone then headed back yesterday, so the house is much quieter now.

Tommorrow's Valentines day, the day everyone complains is too commercialised and that all the businesses out there are capitilising on it to make some extra profit on this supposed celebration of love. Not forgetting all those people out there who think "it should be Valentines day EVERYDAY" if you're in a relationship.

Frankly, I'm getting a little irritated by all this complaining. I mean somehow people only seem to complain about Valentines day....what about Christmas? Chinese New Year? Your own birthday? You mean businesses don't capitalise on these special days of the calendar? Like give me a break...everyday should be Valentines day? Then why should we only give presents and all that celebration on a person's birthday? Everyday should be a persons birthday...I guess that either means we give each other presents everyday or since everyday is someones birthday why should any other day be different. I mean...a special day is a special day...it's there for a reason...so people should just relax, cos without them life would just be that much less interesting for all of us...which isn't something we want in this day and age.

Today is a good day =)

I realised I haven't posted since last year...haha...been sort of enjoying the hols.

If it's not being the resident maid, since I'm home most of the time. Been trying to brush up on my driving as well...test is next Tuesday, which actually causes me to miss my very first biodiversity lecture of the year, hence I really hope everything goes really well =)

Headed out early today to spend some quality time with my baby for this week...had my favourite ban mian over there and then headed down for dance at 3, which was pretty much hell. We've been doing this same routine since before dance camp and I'm pretty much getting sick of this song by rosemary clooney. Doing it over and over again, so damn tired, at least today I was able to do my double pirouette. Right now, my feet hurt and I have 2 blisters on both of my big toes, one of which has broken, hopefully it doesn't affect my driving.

Anyways, school starts next monday...so school, here I come.

I'm not in the best of moods right now...so I'm here to vent lest I offend someone in this damn house.

Like WTF...you think no one here has a bloody life is it? Like you just want people to switch their plans just because of you...then FUCK YOU!! Who the hell do you think you are man?!?! You record your business appointments like nobody's business and you don't even give a fuck about anything else. Always bloody complaining that we don't tell you early enough, we don't even remind you...well how 'bout I give you a suggestion....write it down in that HUGE damn book you seem to call a planner only when it comes to making business appointments.

Yes people are guests...but normal humans would you know, at least tell people that their coming down in advance...so WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!!! As of now... I really feel like just doing my own things, like you don't even care about anyone else but your damn self. Like why the hell should I give a damn about you when you don't even give a shit about me...

Oh...and could you just make up your bloody mind...one minute you wanna come, the next you don't...like wth...just say you don't wanna come already...spare me the suspense will you. You don't seem to get the situation do you? After SO bloody long...you just don't get what she's like...asking me to do this and that, as if I didn't think of that. If she bloody says no...then I can't really do anything. I wanna see you, you wanna see me (I assume so....) at least help me out a little here...if not...then just bloody hell get lost

Today was a good day out...rather productive if you ask me...haha...

Baby came over in the afternoon and we did some re-scaping of the tank =) and put up our black oyama paper (It's some sticky paper that you put on the back of the tank to make it look nicer on the inside...) now the neon tetras look really good against the black background.

After hanging around, ate lunch and then decided to head to queensway to buy me some shoes, cos the sole of my current shoe is about to come off anytime soon =) I saw this really nice pair of low dunks at AMK last night and thought I might be able to find the same design. We went to so many shops and they all only had the such small sizes cos it was nike junior...haha....so we went traipsing from store to store looking at other shoes and I kept seeing THAT shoe but they only had in the size 3, 5.5...just not mine...then came this store and I happened to see it on display in a larger size...so I asked if they had my size...and they started to calling the warehouse and stuff...and omg...the man appeared with the box =) haha...I was damn happy...

On a random note...I would kill to dance like the girl on the right...

If wars break down, I will come for you
If angels cry oh I’ll be there for you
You saved my soul
Don’t leave me now
Don’t leave me now

-Rule the world by Take That (from stardust)

OMG...my exams are over...

actually they were over on Thursday...but I kind of didn't have time to come blog about it. Anyway, yesterday morning went to the Airport to send Chuang Yang and Michelle off to NY...was quite sad...I'll miss her so much when she's gone.

After that baby and I went for a buffet lunch at Orchard Hotel Galleria...the food was pretty good...I esp loved the clam chowder and the cheese with crackers. The cheese was like extremely heavenly and stuff. Didn't really have space for ice-cream though. We left and decided to head home to do come stuff for our fish tank...I really think the tank is looking pretty good...haha...what with all the plants and stuff all around. We have like 44 fish in the tank currently; 8 super hyper zebra danios, 10 cherry barbs, 18 neon tetras, 4 SAEs (Siamese Algae Eaters), 2 bronze corydoras (corydoras aeneus) and 2 peppered corydoras. The last Panda corydoras died the night before. I actually had 4 of them...but 3 of them like disappeared...I have no idea where they went...they didn't jump out and I highly doubt any of them gotten eaten by any of the other fish.

I feel like a gold fish tank now...

Just a little smthg other than stuff that I did during the day, I tool some colourgenetics quiz on gerri's blog, similar to the one I took last time...I think 1 or 2 yrs ago...it's somewhere in the archives....you can go try it out if i you wish, it's pretty accurate =)

Much of the time you are preoccupied with things of an intensely exciting nature. You need stimulation and variation with all matters pertaining to your life. You want to be regarded as an exciting and interesting personality being able to charm and influence others. You use powerful strategies with predictable outcomes so as to avoid endangering your chances of success or undermining other people's confidence in you.

You are lazy - you dream of a peaceful, calm, uncluttered and uncomplicated life. Your ideal would be to share a permanent base with some person or persons who would be able to demonstrate on-going love, peace and security.

At times one is burdened with more than one's fair share of problems and this would appear to be your situation at present. But you are adamant - you know what you wish to achieve - and by giving a little and taking a little you may well find that the realization of your dreams could become a reality.

You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.

You don't like authority and you rebel against all forms of limitation. You are your own person and you intend to stay that way and to get on in the world simply by your hard work and determination.

I just wonder, what happened to that little boy in me....he seems a little far away....

I have been feeling so unsettled...not the worried unsettled...but the can't sit down and study unsettled.

I am majorly frustrated, pissed off and irritated at this....I am desperately trying to sit and study but I just CANNOT!!! Like WTH!!!

I just cannot seem to sit down and study, if i'm not sleepy i'm just NOT HERE!! I don't know why....I DON'T KNOW WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just want to study....why in the world is it so damn fucking hard to do just it!!!

Woke up this morning and took meimei to TTSH to buy her malaria tablets and if she hadn't mentioned it...I wouldn't even have known that there was a donut factory there....yum...there've been so many donut shops popping up all over Singapore, they all just seem the same...SERIOUSLY!! If any of you thought what I just mentioned was a serious crime, I really thought that (dunno about now though...) so we decided to buy one each, but we found out they sell their donuts by the box, so we bought 3. The last one for mummy.

I had a raspberry chocolate, meimei had strawberry white chocolate and I brought home apple cinnamon for mummy.

Apparently donut factory is the one at raffles city too, where apparently there are always long queues in the day.

Went to school to do the SPS presentation and then now I'm home. =)

I dunno why but I was prompted to find this phrase in the bible about how God knows all the hairs on our head...so I just decided to note it down here:

Luke 12:4-7
⁴"I tell you, my friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body and after that can do no more. ⁵But I will show you whom you should fear: Fear him who, after the killing of the body, has power to throw you into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him. ⁶Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies^[a]? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. ⁷Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

which coincidentally also appears in Matthew 10:26-31

Along the way I came across this also in Luke 12 rather appropriate passage for an exam period after I decided to read through the whole chapter:

Luke 12:22-34
Do Not Worry

²²Then Jesus said to his disciples: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. ²³Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. ²⁴Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! ²⁵Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life^[b]? ²⁶Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?

²⁷"Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ²⁸If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! ²⁹And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. ³⁰For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. ³¹But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.

³²"Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. ³³Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. ³⁴For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

"With Christ in the weather, we can smile at the storm"

Are you smiling at the storm?

received this in an email not long ago...I read it, but never thought much about it....until this morning...kind of hit me when I saw it again while checking my mail...maybe it's be some help for the peeps out there taking exams esp the 'A's and 'O's...not forgetting the others who are gonna be having exams soon.

Been a super lousy mood to study these few days....there's just no 'exam mood' kind of thing where you're a bit anxious to revise all there is, which is rather worry. If you don't have the mood, it's pretty hard to get down to sitting at the table to revise through all the stuff for the last 6 months. Not forgetting exam's in like 17 days..

I was further distracted yesterday by the fact that I currently still have a panda corydora missing from my tank. O.O I bought 4 and yesterday evening I only saw 3 and today I still only see 3. I searched the whole tank, lifted the logs....EVERYTHING!!! It's like it just disappeared...I told baby maybe it got beamed away by some aliens who were looking for humans o.O...I looked around on the floor to see if it had jumped out, but it wasn't there either. I seriously wonder where it went...I've never lost fish before...and I'm quite sure I bought 4...I still have a picture of them too....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!

Everyday
of our lives,
wanna find you there, wanna hold on tight.
Gonna run
while we’re young
and keep the faith

I've supposedly got a super long weekend, which starts today and ends on Sunday....coincidentally there weren't any lessons today cos my LSM lab is done , I've no more IT lectures and IT tutorial's been shifted to next week....which are all my lessons for today.

So today has been mugger day....I like tried to do the CM1501 papers, followed up on the last 2 lectures on carbonyls and after which I proceeded to do the impossible task of mapping out all the reactions. Meaning something like....carbonyls get alcohols with grignard something like that (you obviously have no idea what I'm talking about at this point in time)...I tried it 3 times...The second one was a bit better, then on the third one I realised even if I reorientate the major functional groups eg. ethers, alkenes....it's still gonna be freaking messy...arrows corssing here and there with barely any space to right....with the centre so densely written on already....

like the infrastructure of organic chem country so sucks....in fact it may even be really good cos there are SO many many bloody ways to get from one "town" to the other...it's just damn near impossible for me to write it at this moment...I almost wanted to kill myself...

went out to run to take my mind off all the nonsense, but after a while...I just wasn't in the mood....so went to take a walk in gourmet.

perhaps I shall move on to something much more enjoyable tonight like bio....

i dunno if i can make it...
i just don't feel it anymore...is there something wrong???
why do I always feel lousy??
I just don't have enough time...I'm trying....

I'm so taking a break now...
the day was unbelievably busy. I shall start work tomorrow!!!

I dragged myself out of bed at 7....okay 7.15 by right....then headed to school to do my SPS experiment at Edison's hall. It was quite funny I got to PGP just before 9 and went up to his room...then sat around for a few and after failing to contact Rebbecca, we decided to start first. Edison continued to try to contact her like twice and then decided to leave it alone first. Before we knew it, it was 10....then we had a feeling she'd seriously overslept and according to Edison she can sleep in till like 12+. So we just continued at at about 12+ a call came and it started with (in a very sleep, draggy soft voice) "Hello, I'm so so so so so so sorry..." haha...by then, we'd finished already....so she didn't have to come...

I went off to Clementi mrt to meet baby and we had lunch at the big hawker centre there. After lunch, we headed of to look for a mate for our lonely Crowntail betta...haha...went for dance after that.

Dance today was quite bad...suddenly felt so tired during the corner-to-corner stuff...and during choreo, my brain like totally switched off, it absolutely refused to absorb anything. No matter how hard I tried to remember, I just continued to blank out intermittently....it was damn annoying.

After dance, headed to SoC to do the STUPID IT1001 project....I swear this project is damn irritating....if I knew this was as a serious project module I would have dropped it. It's like sapping me of time. Was at the PC lab like from 6.40 to 10.30....0.0...mummy came to pick me and brought me home. I've just finished my dinner and now...and I am so sleepy...

I so want my baby....

I am quite happy today I must say...

haha...although I still think lack sleep here and there...
woke up at about 8, had breakfast and then proceeded to do a little reorganising.
My aunt helped iron all 3 weeks worth my mum's working clothes yesterday and so the suits are not in order....meaning they're not matched to how my mum wears them, so I took them all out and rearranged them properly. My mum's cupboard is now full of clothes once more after having not being re-filled after 2-3 weeks; due to me being too busy studying for tests and meeting all the crappy deadlines. PLUS the ironing room is now EMPTY!!!!!!!!!

Headed to school at 9 and went to SoC PC lab 2 to complete the mini-assignment after which I had lunch and went for my Gen Bio lecture. Prof Tan is seriously funny...the funny being the lame funny....meaning a laughable lameness, not your regular roll-your-eyes kind of lameness. He even brought a venus fly trap to the LT and put a mealworm in it. The whole LT was like squeling at how gross everything was. Poor mealworm being expended for demonstration purposes.

Then was chem lab. TLC s(Thin-layer Chromatography) seemed pretty chiem but it turned out to be pretty easy. Haha...It was just the taking of benzaldehyde from the burette that was stressful...I was like counting...5.5ml...so 2.5ml more should have the final level at 8ml...but I counted the grid-lines and I got 8.5ml...so checked with the TA and it was supposed to be 8ml. Other than that everything was pretty fast. My reaction was completed in the first 30mins so I didn't have to continue for another 15 mins and my chromatography was nicely done. Except that my crystals fell into the flask for the stupid suction filtration cos the filter paper didn't fit the funnel properly so had to pour the filtrate through again. Other than that....it was pretty hassle free.

bussed home....was thinking of going out running cos I feel like I've gotten fatter having not run for the last week....however the weather doesn't permit to do so.

At least tomorrow has perks....we're gonna see zebra danios (it's a kind of fish in case you don't know)!!! We'll even see the fluorescent ones which are not sold here too!!!!

I'm hungry....
I'm like pretty free now...I think I have things to do that I don't really wanna do...

I feel like listening to my organic chem webcast....but I realised that I left my notes at home cos I thought I wouldn't have time to do it.

so now I'm in the SPS room just sitting here, blogging...I should be editting my RFID part...but I think it can wait...

I'm hungry too....

It appears error analysis was just spouting absolute nonsense to me....
AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

ERROR ANALYSIS SPEAKS!!!

time to go for dance...

I'm home today...no class...
was supposed to have a project meeting today....but it got canceled.

The weather is super hot today...the fan is like blowing hot air at me...and I can't imagine what my poor fish must feel.

Attempting to do mass completion of assignments, I have too many assignments due in the first half of next week, not forgetting the 3 projects due. One due next Tues, another due end of the month and another due the end of next early next month.

I have a feeling I'm going mad....

ERROR ANALYSIS PLEASE TALK TO ME!!!
AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

well...today didn't go so well...
still a little frustrated...aaah...

well..there was bio lecture first, that was alright, but I'm beginning to come to content that I think I really need to study for and like...the content is just 0.o mind boggling. okay...then there was lab...

I sorta had and inkling that I might screw up...what with so many compounds and the need to find a suitable solvent for each. eeee....the extractions of one of the compunds went alright...but the other one seriously screwed up....which led to me not finishing the experiment. hence, I have to go back tomorrow.

argh!!!!!

Today's been a very good day =)

woke up, went to church and headed over to baby's after that...

spent the time there studying a bit and then left at 3 to go to fish city. weeeeeeee....


The guppies there are absolutely exotic...they had such brilliant colours on them. They were like going at $10-$20 a piece...omg. Some of the tanks they had were so so filled with little baby fry...haha...went to take a look at some arowana there too...those amazing looking kings.

Then headed to rainbow to see this humongous planted tank that baby recently saw...it was so amazing. It was like a city...with fish and tonnes of plants. Even the logs placed inside looked like trees...the landscaping was so beautiful.

we then bused to PS to take a look at the new aquarium shop set up there...nothing much...town pricing. Bused down to city hall and had dinner at soup spoon. After that, we walked around a bit...and there was this shop selling novelty kitchen appliances and utensils. It was so fascinating...the ways people re-invent your cups...spoons...plates and stuff. It was so...new...hahaI was like running from one place to another looking at the stuff. Baby calls it making money out of something which is JUST A SPOON...or fork.

After that, we met somebody at the mrt station to get our zebra danio and plants. The zebras are sooo cute, so hyper...weee...then bussed further down to TP to get MORE plants and then came home to put everything in the tank.

In case, some of you didn't know...my tank had a major wipe out. I lost all my fish after intorducing some feeder guppies inside...leaving me with my 2 cute corydoras. I was so heartbroken...watching them just die like that. But I think this time...it'll be good =)

Today was good...thanks to all the people who sent me birthday messages; erika, ethel, nat, yimin and trevin. Birthday wishes from my family, deborah and cass. Most of all baby, hope we spend more birthdays together =)

mid-term break is officially over...time to start studying again...

It's finally Thursday!!!!
I shall be heading off for booth duty to sell tickets at central library later.

Life has been absolutely hectic...rushing to do things...most of my things have been pushed to the later stretch of their deadlines cos I just have too much stuff to do and stuff to clear up for my lectures. Friday is like a breather yet not really one. I don't have to go to school, so it makes it a somewhat less hectic day, but it becomes a day where I catch on stuff that I've not caught up on during the week.

Luckily term break is coming after next week, so we'll see how that break becomes at the end of next week. I also have a stats test to do before mid-term break. I really hope my cap is alright after this year...it seems the cap in mind is a little unrealistic, but yet I don't really even know what to expect for it.