$124 dollars that I fell in love with at vivocity aldo...pity I had to let it go.. =(
Sunday, June 07, 2009
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Just go away...sometimes I wish you never existed. I wish you would LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
Can't believe what I just typed? Well, right now I just feel this way. You say you miss me...well you know what, I'm quite sure it's pretty much a very one-sided feeling.
I've said time and time again, wait for June...but no...you ask and ask...and I say yes. After a while I have to cancel, cos you know that this definitely takes priority. Do you like being disappointed? I don't like going out with my mind racing and worrying about something else somewhere when I'm spending time with you. Don't you get it?
Upset doesn't quite cover it, neither does pissed off. Maybe frustrated and pent up is what I feel, I just want to go somewhere and scream or shout it all out...ALL OF IT!!!
please please just go away...
Can't believe what I just typed? Well, right now I just feel this way. You say you miss me...well you know what, I'm quite sure it's pretty much a very one-sided feeling.
I've said time and time again, wait for June...but no...you ask and ask...and I say yes. After a while I have to cancel, cos you know that this definitely takes priority. Do you like being disappointed? I don't like going out with my mind racing and worrying about something else somewhere when I'm spending time with you. Don't you get it?
Upset doesn't quite cover it, neither does pissed off. Maybe frustrated and pent up is what I feel, I just want to go somewhere and scream or shout it all out...ALL OF IT!!!
please please just go away...
Monday, April 20, 2009
Watched centre stage II few days ago...rather disappointing actually, compared to the first, so I suppose that's why I've never heard of it.
The acting isn't great...painfully awkward, esp between the male and female lead. You can't blame them though, they're dancers not actors. Although some people say to be dancer, you gotta learn to act. The dancers from the first installment, did a rather painless and great job at that. Not much dancing, but it seems to have moved from classical ballet to contemporary though, sorta like step up to step up II.
I love this clip between the 2 leads. I like the way it progresses with the groove and all, most of it actually looks impromptu with somebody initiating something for each part....just try to ignore the painful dialogue...lol. Watching it makes you kinda wanna get up and groove to this with someone.
All that aside, I'm going to make an extremely shallow comment now...the guy is hot!! Kenny Wormald, he works as a back-up dancer for people like Justin Timberlake and apparently is touring with the PCD and dating one of them. okay...crawling out of my shallowness...enjoy.
The acting isn't great...painfully awkward, esp between the male and female lead. You can't blame them though, they're dancers not actors. Although some people say to be dancer, you gotta learn to act. The dancers from the first installment, did a rather painless and great job at that. Not much dancing, but it seems to have moved from classical ballet to contemporary though, sorta like step up to step up II.
I love this clip between the 2 leads. I like the way it progresses with the groove and all, most of it actually looks impromptu with somebody initiating something for each part....just try to ignore the painful dialogue...lol. Watching it makes you kinda wanna get up and groove to this with someone.
All that aside, I'm going to make an extremely shallow comment now...the guy is hot!! Kenny Wormald, he works as a back-up dancer for people like Justin Timberlake and apparently is touring with the PCD and dating one of them. okay...crawling out of my shallowness...enjoy.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone.
I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'
I behave like an idiot when I don't know what's going on...doesn't everybody?
You've got to tell me who to go to to ask for what...I can't just randomly ask anyone in the lab; unless that's the way you want me to go. I'm not a slacker so when I feel this way, it makes me hate me...why would anyone do that? You can't put me in a house with 20 people, with no directions and tell me I've to find this and that.I don't know who out of the 20 people to ask...unless you'd like me to ask them one by one.
What do you call this feeling? It's beyond frustration...
I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'
I behave like an idiot when I don't know what's going on...doesn't everybody?
You've got to tell me who to go to to ask for what...I can't just randomly ask anyone in the lab; unless that's the way you want me to go. I'm not a slacker so when I feel this way, it makes me hate me...why would anyone do that? You can't put me in a house with 20 people, with no directions and tell me I've to find this and that.I don't know who out of the 20 people to ask...unless you'd like me to ask them one by one.
What do you call this feeling? It's beyond frustration...
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
My fingers are not as they used to be....
less nimble, out of practice...years of practice...
My brain cannot seem to manage it like it used to...too many things....
When I try so hard to bring myself to back then...I come to loathe myself for it's inability...
I drown myself in pieces I used to play to comfort myself, but I know I'm not really going anywhere. Just plain old muscle memory.
If there's anything I would really regret in life...it would be giving it up and not fighting hard enough for it...and if possible blaming my circumstances.
less nimble, out of practice...years of practice...
My brain cannot seem to manage it like it used to...too many things....
When I try so hard to bring myself to back then...I come to loathe myself for it's inability...
I drown myself in pieces I used to play to comfort myself, but I know I'm not really going anywhere. Just plain old muscle memory.
If there's anything I would really regret in life...it would be giving it up and not fighting hard enough for it...and if possible blaming my circumstances.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Saturday, February 14, 2009
I am what I am...female
And we all pretty much want the same things...
Maybe I try too hard to act indifferent, for I cannot bring myself to demand or expect such things...for I myself cannot give.
Dear Valentine, come away with me. If I had a day with you and you only, I would enjoy the simple things. The things that bring joy to the drudgery and the mundane, the things that, in the end, when time steals the rest away, are the only things we'll remember. I would paddle you across a still lake in a rowboat and read poetry to you until you fell asleep, and I would never ever think about the hours.
Dear Valentine, if I had one day with you and you only, I would admire every line of your face, every strand of your hair, every graceful movement of your hands or your eyes or your body. If I had one perfect day. Don't you see, my heart beats only for you?
Dear Valentine, these are the things I remember, my love... A warm hand, your warm breath, your warm mouth, your arms around mine. I remember feeling safe, ceaseless, like one person, the two of us, still, at rest, entwined. I remember how I felt the first time I kissed you. It felt like... the high dive. What do you remember? How will I ever know what was inside your heart? Where do they go, all the things we think and feel but don't say?
Dear Valentine, these are the things I never told you, these are the things I need you to know... that I loved you always, and my love was so big, it lives still after you're gone. I'd like to tell you that I would do it differently, that if I had one more day I would do everything right. But I know that not to be true. I'd make all the same mistakes. That is, except one... I wouldn't say good-bye.
Happy Valentine's Day...
And we all pretty much want the same things...
Maybe I try too hard to act indifferent, for I cannot bring myself to demand or expect such things...for I myself cannot give.
Dear Valentine, come away with me. If I had a day with you and you only, I would enjoy the simple things. The things that bring joy to the drudgery and the mundane, the things that, in the end, when time steals the rest away, are the only things we'll remember. I would paddle you across a still lake in a rowboat and read poetry to you until you fell asleep, and I would never ever think about the hours.
Dear Valentine, if I had one day with you and you only, I would admire every line of your face, every strand of your hair, every graceful movement of your hands or your eyes or your body. If I had one perfect day. Don't you see, my heart beats only for you?
Dear Valentine, these are the things I remember, my love... A warm hand, your warm breath, your warm mouth, your arms around mine. I remember feeling safe, ceaseless, like one person, the two of us, still, at rest, entwined. I remember how I felt the first time I kissed you. It felt like... the high dive. What do you remember? How will I ever know what was inside your heart? Where do they go, all the things we think and feel but don't say?
Dear Valentine, these are the things I never told you, these are the things I need you to know... that I loved you always, and my love was so big, it lives still after you're gone. I'd like to tell you that I would do it differently, that if I had one more day I would do everything right. But I know that not to be true. I'd make all the same mistakes. That is, except one... I wouldn't say good-bye.
Happy Valentine's Day...
Saturday, February 07, 2009
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
London blanketed in snow....
Britain's capital has ground to a halt after an overnight snowstorm, the worst in 18 years, blanketed the city. Heavy snow across large parts of the UK has disrupted travel and closed hundreds of schools.
I foresee my future there in a years time...
a time spent in a room with like 5 RADIATORS!!! okay...that's an exaggeration...but a person like me not for cold...ut's hard to imagine....aaaah!!!
Britain's capital has ground to a halt after an overnight snowstorm, the worst in 18 years, blanketed the city. Heavy snow across large parts of the UK has disrupted travel and closed hundreds of schools.
I foresee my future there in a years time...
a time spent in a room with like 5 RADIATORS!!! okay...that's an exaggeration...but a person like me not for cold...ut's hard to imagine....aaaah!!!
Thursday, January 29, 2009
CNY wasn't as exciting as this year...maybe it was the lack of fireworks...
Drove back in on Saturday...and arrived late so upon arrival it was mostly just going to sleep.
CNY Eve - Next morning we woke up and had 'tuan yuan fan' in the afternoon as my cousins wouldn't be in that night. We then went out shopping, since I still had some stuff left to shop for from Christmas...only managed to get a belt for myself and baby...still lacking my denim shorts though. Everything started closing early so we decided to head back home. Once hoe it was dinner time, but somehow we didn't have any...I didn't really get it. But I was like sneaking tid bits here and there for my blackhole of a stomach. So we all stayed up to 'shou ye', basically a little tradition for staying up so your parents would have a long life later in. Was rather boring since I didn't bring back my laptop and my parents and aunts were watching some stuff I didn't understand, so I spent most of it lying on the sofa staring at the ceiling trying not to fall asleep for about an hour. Until the point I remembered that my dad brought his laptop down too. if you're wondering about the internet...well it's a 56kbps dial-up...so it's not exactly very calming to use in this day and age.
CNY day 1 - Started the drive down to Sepang to visit my dad's side. As usual when we reached there, there weren't many people. Just 2 of my aunts making ngoh hiang, so we just hung around and played with my uncle's ipod touch listening to his music. People started streaming in and we started the usual get together lunch stuff. As people were done eating more people were still coming in, so it was like waves of people streaming in and the flurry of 'gong xi fa cai' and 'gong he fat choi' going around. Made a trip back to my grandma's house to rest and recharge.
Went back again for dinner and the usual stuff happened again. This time there were more people so black jack started and went till late, after which we played with fireworks. Fireworks is somewhat the only perk we come all the way back for...but this time it was rather pathetic. One of my relatives bought these sticks that looked like sparklers, which looked rather evil, but once lighted that all changed. It was just a bunch of 'anticlimax' sticks. It would make the usual 'teeeeeeeeeeeeeew' firecracker sound, which would stop abruptly and spurts of fire would shoot out. It was like 'yay!!'....'oh- _-.........'
CNY day 2 - Went back to the house again for bf and chatting. My mum was like comparing stories with my aunt about their maids. We then drove off to meet up my aunt's and cousins on my mum's side at a restaurant for lunch again. The only thing I remember from it was the 'buddha jumps over the wall' dish. I have this THING for soups.
After which the long drive back to Singapore begins. Everything was fine...until we decided to take the 2nd link....malaysia was good....singapore was just horrendous...I don't even think horrendous sums it up. The queue was so backed up you don't even see the checkpoint. If you remember before the checkpoint there's like a hill the car has to climb before you actually see the checkpoint? We were way beyond that. 4 lanes, 3 for cars 1 one for buses, became 5 lanes and for a moment every lane didn't move for like 5-10mins. people started coming out of their cars...people got out to smoke and all that until peope started the horn. In total we were there for 2 and half hours.
Got home at about 10, unpacked and then slept.
Luckily i didn't have school the next day.
Drove back in on Saturday...and arrived late so upon arrival it was mostly just going to sleep.
CNY Eve - Next morning we woke up and had 'tuan yuan fan' in the afternoon as my cousins wouldn't be in that night. We then went out shopping, since I still had some stuff left to shop for from Christmas...only managed to get a belt for myself and baby...still lacking my denim shorts though. Everything started closing early so we decided to head back home. Once hoe it was dinner time, but somehow we didn't have any...I didn't really get it. But I was like sneaking tid bits here and there for my blackhole of a stomach. So we all stayed up to 'shou ye', basically a little tradition for staying up so your parents would have a long life later in. Was rather boring since I didn't bring back my laptop and my parents and aunts were watching some stuff I didn't understand, so I spent most of it lying on the sofa staring at the ceiling trying not to fall asleep for about an hour. Until the point I remembered that my dad brought his laptop down too. if you're wondering about the internet...well it's a 56kbps dial-up...so it's not exactly very calming to use in this day and age.
CNY day 1 - Started the drive down to Sepang to visit my dad's side. As usual when we reached there, there weren't many people. Just 2 of my aunts making ngoh hiang, so we just hung around and played with my uncle's ipod touch listening to his music. People started streaming in and we started the usual get together lunch stuff. As people were done eating more people were still coming in, so it was like waves of people streaming in and the flurry of 'gong xi fa cai' and 'gong he fat choi' going around. Made a trip back to my grandma's house to rest and recharge.
Went back again for dinner and the usual stuff happened again. This time there were more people so black jack started and went till late, after which we played with fireworks. Fireworks is somewhat the only perk we come all the way back for...but this time it was rather pathetic. One of my relatives bought these sticks that looked like sparklers, which looked rather evil, but once lighted that all changed. It was just a bunch of 'anticlimax' sticks. It would make the usual 'teeeeeeeeeeeeeew' firecracker sound, which would stop abruptly and spurts of fire would shoot out. It was like 'yay!!'....'oh- _-.........'
CNY day 2 - Went back to the house again for bf and chatting. My mum was like comparing stories with my aunt about their maids. We then drove off to meet up my aunt's and cousins on my mum's side at a restaurant for lunch again. The only thing I remember from it was the 'buddha jumps over the wall' dish. I have this THING for soups.
After which the long drive back to Singapore begins. Everything was fine...until we decided to take the 2nd link....malaysia was good....singapore was just horrendous...I don't even think horrendous sums it up. The queue was so backed up you don't even see the checkpoint. If you remember before the checkpoint there's like a hill the car has to climb before you actually see the checkpoint? We were way beyond that. 4 lanes, 3 for cars 1 one for buses, became 5 lanes and for a moment every lane didn't move for like 5-10mins. people started coming out of their cars...people got out to smoke and all that until peope started the horn. In total we were there for 2 and half hours.
Got home at about 10, unpacked and then slept.
Luckily i didn't have school the next day.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Christmas Holidays have come and gone...spent the 25th-28th in Malaysia.
Spent Christmas day in the car driving up to Malaysia and then had dinner with baby's family and ours. We had like 4.5kg of crabs...sweet and sour crab, salted egg crab, steamed crab...which basically is too much crab and cholesterol for me. I mean if you don't think that's much, you might wanna think how much a crab weighs.
Next day was spent in genting...we took a cab ride up and it was a really good ride. I've never been up there or at least not that I can remember, so the drive up was damn good. I mean if you've driven up there or been driven up you know what I mean. The weather was so good we wound down the windows on the way up and occasionally wound it up upon meeting buses that spewed black smoke. The air was so good...looking out at the clouds. The roads were so winding that lanes are almost needless, we were cutting across lanes as we went up. Met baby up there and we put our stuff in his parents car and headed to the theme park. Lunch was at pizza hut where it looked rather under-staffed. It seemed they were serving food more than clearing tables and taking orders or requests. We had pizza with no plates and soup came last, not to mention the nunmber of people we had to go through to ask them for it. We sat and talked for a while and then headed to do some shopping =) as food and theme park aren't exactly the best combination. Dinner was at mushroom farm, took like a shuttle van down to the restaurant and we had dinner there. They had like geese and terrapins outside o.O
Next day we headed down by cable car and bus after which it was just shopping all the way!!! Dinner was the usual CNY 10 course dinner...not bad. Woooo!!!Headed back to Singapore the next day =)
Heading back in again on CNY...which is like 3 weeks from now...
Spent Christmas day in the car driving up to Malaysia and then had dinner with baby's family and ours. We had like 4.5kg of crabs...sweet and sour crab, salted egg crab, steamed crab...which basically is too much crab and cholesterol for me. I mean if you don't think that's much, you might wanna think how much a crab weighs.
Next day was spent in genting...we took a cab ride up and it was a really good ride. I've never been up there or at least not that I can remember, so the drive up was damn good. I mean if you've driven up there or been driven up you know what I mean. The weather was so good we wound down the windows on the way up and occasionally wound it up upon meeting buses that spewed black smoke. The air was so good...looking out at the clouds. The roads were so winding that lanes are almost needless, we were cutting across lanes as we went up. Met baby up there and we put our stuff in his parents car and headed to the theme park. Lunch was at pizza hut where it looked rather under-staffed. It seemed they were serving food more than clearing tables and taking orders or requests. We had pizza with no plates and soup came last, not to mention the nunmber of people we had to go through to ask them for it. We sat and talked for a while and then headed to do some shopping =) as food and theme park aren't exactly the best combination. Dinner was at mushroom farm, took like a shuttle van down to the restaurant and we had dinner there. They had like geese and terrapins outside o.O
Next day we headed down by cable car and bus after which it was just shopping all the way!!! Dinner was the usual CNY 10 course dinner...not bad. Woooo!!!Headed back to Singapore the next day =)
Heading back in again on CNY...which is like 3 weeks from now...
Monday, December 15, 2008
Love just is, whatever it may beDecember's passed really fast so far...exams were okay, neither great nor bad...I guess the ups pretty much made up for downs. Although I'm pretty much terrified of the outcome. My experience with disappointment seems to follow me around like a shadow.
Love just is, you and me
Nothing less and nothing more
I don't know what I love you for
Love just is
It's almost Christmas =)
Dance camp was dance camp...I was pretty much alone most of the time. Most of the people I 'click' with couldn't make it for the camp. I guess a good thing would be that I'm comfortable being by myself. I always wonder why I can never really...integrate with the people in dance groups...I've never really found out till today but it seems a common trend with every dance group I go to. Classes were good though, some were terribly draining but I liked it, esp the hip-hop and reggae. I'll probably have to run like 10km before I can keep up with reggae though.
Baby's been in HK and Macau these few days...at least I've got Tumble for company =)
don't you even DARE call me irresponsible
Thursday, November 20, 2008
I am just so so sick of the complaining...
Like why don't you just ASK for help...like it's SO bloody embarrassing!!!
You keep asking the same people and thinking you're going to get a different answer or solution. When half the time, the people you speak to are probably giving bloody comments like 'aiya, he's hopeless'; basically pessimistic and most likely, non-constructive comments.
You know half the time I try to help you when no one in this bloody ______will, you just diss and say, 'go talk to him then, since he only seems to listen you you.' or 'since you're so good at talking to him'. EXTREMELY MOTIVATING don't you think. When I can't be bothered, suddenly it's 'oh you're not a part of this _________?!?!' You know what, if you're so fucking embarrassed about asking for help elsewhere then screw you, I don't have time for the the incessant complaining. It's not like you don't know where to ask for it and it's not like you've been particularly accepting of my solutions.
So you know what? I'm going to start caring for my self for once, cos I'm done being so generous.
Like why don't you just ASK for help...like it's SO bloody embarrassing!!!
You keep asking the same people and thinking you're going to get a different answer or solution. When half the time, the people you speak to are probably giving bloody comments like 'aiya, he's hopeless'; basically pessimistic and most likely, non-constructive comments.
You know half the time I try to help you when no one in this bloody ______will, you just diss and say, 'go talk to him then, since he only seems to listen you you.' or 'since you're so good at talking to him'. EXTREMELY MOTIVATING don't you think. When I can't be bothered, suddenly it's 'oh you're not a part of this _________?!?!' You know what, if you're so fucking embarrassed about asking for help elsewhere then screw you, I don't have time for the the incessant complaining. It's not like you don't know where to ask for it and it's not like you've been particularly accepting of my solutions.
So you know what? I'm going to start caring for my self for once, cos I'm done being so generous.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Tiny To my one and only hamster:
Thank you so much for being a part of my life .
It was truly great and special for me.
I hope the life with me me was a happy and comfortable one.
Wherever you are now, I pray that you are happy
Thank you so much for being a part of my life .
It was truly great and special for me.
I hope the life with me me was a happy and comfortable one.
Wherever you are now, I pray that you are happy
I still turn around now and then thinking I have to feed you...but then I turn around and see the empty cage. Then it just goes 'oh'...
Monday, November 03, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Sleep hasn't had much of an affinity to me. I wonder why...but I seem to sleep better on nights that I'm not consciously stressed, although that's pretty relative. Sleeping more doesn't seem to help much and definitely not sleeping less...I'm pretty much at my wits end as to solving this issue.I do wonder if sleeping is considered a luxury, coming to university or at least NUS? Schooling never seemed to be this imbalanced since I came here....
on a side note...it's songs like this that make me feel happy cos I think about you :)
on a side note...it's songs like this that make me feel happy cos I think about you :)
It's like catching lightening
The chances of of finding, someone like you
It's one in a million
The chances of feeling the way we do
And with every step together
We just keep on getting better
So can I have this dance?
Can I have this dance?
Sunday, October 05, 2008
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
It's all over, the concert's over and so's my birthday.
Concert was a blast. Can't help but think that all us Shaun's people bonded well through all the crap and stuff. At least we delivered the finished product well and people actually thought the item was good. The bitching we did at the side waiting to go on will be greatly missed especially all the remarks made by Teck Nam. Although I can't help thinking that it just happened in times of hardship and we'll just go back to being what we all were before the concert happened
My birthday was rather quiet. Celebrations were rather small. Thanks to all the people who smsed me and wished me Happy Birthday =). The day went as usual, headed to school...had my mid-term for LSM2101. It didn't turn out that bad, neither did it turn out good...but I sort of decided that there was no use getting upset over it? Had lunch and then went for the next 2 lectures. After which I headed to UCC and ben's mum and dad picked jie and me and we headed to west mall for dinner.
Dinner was good, even got a picture taken. Ben drove us back home and picked guin on the way. It kind of hit me when I came home and I was sitting in my room. This is what happens when you've got nothing to do, you think.
I realised the day was just empty. It wasn't that somebody was late...it just wasn't what I wanted, I think. I've come to the conclusion that I'm not good at keeping my emotions to myself as I well as I would like to. If I'm angry it shows and if I'm upset, I find it hard to hide it if my feelings are hurt or something. I like to think I'm a strong person, so I hate crying in front of people, ESPECIALLY in front of people I don't know. I keep a lot of stuff to myself and if I face any problems I pretty much keep it to myself and eventually it'll get solved.
It sounds pretty self-destructive, I know. I'm guessing owing to all the bottling up of emotions for many years is why I'm finding it hard to keep my emotions under control now. Sometimes I wish I never had any. If you've read this far, I don't know what you think I'm feeling now...perhaps frustration?
I'm getting into the clingy mood again. Telling your heart to 'shut the hell up' when it's crying out for companionship and to listen to a reason like 'studies come first' is the fucking hardest shit to do. I HATE it when I get into this phase. There's no point in talking about it, cos you can't do anything about it and it just makes everyone frustrated. Is it me? Cos I feel like I'm the only one who feels this way and I have no idea what to do about it. Sometimes I just wish I never met you, or just stay away from me, then I wouldn't be this messed up but then again I don't know what I want. I just wanna be busy as hell so at least I don't have a reason to think about what's not there.
Concert was a blast. Can't help but think that all us Shaun's people bonded well through all the crap and stuff. At least we delivered the finished product well and people actually thought the item was good. The bitching we did at the side waiting to go on will be greatly missed especially all the remarks made by Teck Nam. Although I can't help thinking that it just happened in times of hardship and we'll just go back to being what we all were before the concert happened
My birthday was rather quiet. Celebrations were rather small. Thanks to all the people who smsed me and wished me Happy Birthday =). The day went as usual, headed to school...had my mid-term for LSM2101. It didn't turn out that bad, neither did it turn out good...but I sort of decided that there was no use getting upset over it? Had lunch and then went for the next 2 lectures. After which I headed to UCC and ben's mum and dad picked jie and me and we headed to west mall for dinner.
Dinner was good, even got a picture taken. Ben drove us back home and picked guin on the way. It kind of hit me when I came home and I was sitting in my room. This is what happens when you've got nothing to do, you think.
I realised the day was just empty. It wasn't that somebody was late...it just wasn't what I wanted, I think. I've come to the conclusion that I'm not good at keeping my emotions to myself as I well as I would like to. If I'm angry it shows and if I'm upset, I find it hard to hide it if my feelings are hurt or something. I like to think I'm a strong person, so I hate crying in front of people, ESPECIALLY in front of people I don't know. I keep a lot of stuff to myself and if I face any problems I pretty much keep it to myself and eventually it'll get solved.
It sounds pretty self-destructive, I know. I'm guessing owing to all the bottling up of emotions for many years is why I'm finding it hard to keep my emotions under control now. Sometimes I wish I never had any. If you've read this far, I don't know what you think I'm feeling now...perhaps frustration?
I'm getting into the clingy mood again. Telling your heart to 'shut the hell up' when it's crying out for companionship and to listen to a reason like 'studies come first' is the fucking hardest shit to do. I HATE it when I get into this phase. There's no point in talking about it, cos you can't do anything about it and it just makes everyone frustrated. Is it me? Cos I feel like I'm the only one who feels this way and I have no idea what to do about it. Sometimes I just wish I never met you, or just stay away from me, then I wouldn't be this messed up but then again I don't know what I want. I just wanna be busy as hell so at least I don't have a reason to think about what's not there.
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