IT'S FRIDAY!!!
I am so happy...somehow the week did pass a little fast.
I finaly received a reply from nus on wednesday...got accepted into the faculty of science...now it's just ntu or nus. I'm favouring nus right now...due to the distance I have to travel...ntu is just way too far away from where i live. But the course I get to study in nus is vital too ...cos I still have to request to major in life science.

I was so happy when I received the package, mummy was relieved and my aunts were just over-concerned saying things like "so how? accept lah!" and "so how? what you going to choose?". Frankly I have no idea...the NTU prospect seems pretty good, with the small cohort one gets more attention from professors and the people in the faculty are relatively close to one another making it much easier for look help among peers, not forgetting the larger percentage of those graduating with honours . On the other hand, NUS is way more established in terms of science and I heard NTU's curriculum isn't really good plus it is closer to home, so travelling isn't much an issue and I wouldn't have to put up in a hostel.

I'm pretty much lost.

Work today finished early, to be exact 5, cos it's supposed to be some 'eat with your family day'. Sounded good after all I was looking for the work day to end as soon as possible. The highlight of the day was having to fold, insert, seal and stick a stamp on 134 invoices to send out. I swear it took me 1 and a half hours and that was with help. I just kept folding and folding and the stack of invoices to send out just never got and thinner. It was really strange if you ask me.

After work, I headed to town to send in my timesheet to the agency, then decided to walk around and see what the GSS had to offer me in orchard. I saw this really nice pair of black peep-toe shoes from americaya in wisma...pity it was a$49.90...I've been wanting a pair for quite a while, they look especially nice with pants and jeans. Charles and Keith didn't have much to offer, although I did think that one of their peep toes was nice, it was going at $31.90. I went around looking for jeans...MNG had jeans at $66!!! like man they're just jeans...the ones at giordano have just (to me) degraded in value. Is it possible to find nice pair of jeans at $15??? For some reason I think it's impossible, but after what happened when I got my bag...I have to believe it is possible. I'll just have to wait a long, long time and travel really far.


THIS GSS I JUST NEED A PAIR OF JEANS AND SHOES!!!!!

Tomorrow is saturday...my favourite day of the week...baby books out. It just seems we don't fight so mch anymore, not that I'm complaining and it could possibly be because there isn't much time, but it just seems we are...I dunno....sweeter to each other? okay...more affectionate. I like it...just simple quiet time together. Although at times I do wanna go out...but once I get to his house, it just doesn't seem so important anymore. Gotta get up early tomorrow too, gotta meet valerie at 8.30 and get to the induction talk at nus...which is at 9 am. It seems I miss going to school...every phase is just passing a little too fast, when I went to JC, I missed the IJ uniform and just IJ itself. Now going onto uni, I miss the CJ uniform and CJ itself. Are we growing up too fast? I guess we're just forced to move out of our comfort zone, not having to wear uniforms anymore probably symbolises the need for us to become independent...we are now individuals representing ourselves in whatever we do.

I AM BORED OUT OF MY MIND....
for the first time on a saturday...

I just feel too lazy to do anything...normally I would be napping, but the prospect of napping just doesn't seem too good. TV is somehow boring and I have been doing nothing but watching my fish and watching videos on youtube.com regarding fish. There was some insane person who fed his piranhas an arowana...no i haven't gotten it wrong...he fed a silver arowana to his red bellied piranhas. Like omg...he has got to be insane. Then I saw a couple on guppies giving birth, cos i think some of my females are pregnant...I found 3 fry in the tank the other day, so some female's giving birth. However, I still have no idea which one it is. Saw one on arowana's breeding...some are quite interesting.

dum di dum...just waiting for the day to pass....

I am back earlier than usual....was supposed to have tuition, but SO happens that the girl accidentally switched off her phone...I ACTUALLY managed to make my way to the hostel....just that since I couldn't contact her, I couldn't even go into the hostel...like WTF!!! next time i'm going to get an address...I asked her for the add and she kept giving me the name of the hostel and that it was near st margaret's...

AAAAAH!!!

work today wasn't any better...I was just pining for the day to end. All because of this tampines 1 thing, seeing as I'm the temp staff... I keep getting asked to do stuff for them like call the almost 500 people to check if they are coming!! Like why are people in the fucking corporate world so bloody irresponsible, they can't even REPLY AN INVITATION!!! I wanna go to school...and dear NUS still hasn't sent me anything!!! I am in an ass of a mood today...FRUSTRATED!!!!

Yesterday, had to be the best day of the week...baby booked out for the tea session at NUS, so we had lunch together with his dad at turf city, after which we went to gourmet to wander around. =) It was just nice to have him around...
was supposed to have dinner with my previous collegues form draeger...but it got cancelled. I was looking forward to that...haix...so I just went for a run after work...

Wednesday went for some free yoga trial.....it was pretty good...I so haven't stretched for a damn long time and the poses were challenging but manageable. It seems pretty good, just i don't know...I don't really like to travel so far out just to get some excercise....I mean I can just run around my area and stuff, I seriously wouldn't travel unless it had to do with dance. Bought subway for dinner and then headed home.

I am so tired.....I just have too many things on my mind.,...among them a serious craving for yoghurt and being hungry.

where are you....

well, this weekend was really good...I'm so happy....haha...
yesterday baby and I finally got down to getting the fish tank up.

We bought 6 male guppies and 3 female ones, plus 18 neon tetras which are absolutely beautiful under the light...bought sand to line the bottom, 2 live plants, one other on a log and a new light . Not forgetting food and some filter sponge. Baby fixed the pump which wasn't really working very well...haha...

Baby's mum sent us over to my house...had dinner and then proceeded to fill the tank....it was so fun...especially when the fish were let out of the bag. It was so nice to see them swimming around especially when the light is switched on. Unfortunately, this morning all of the tetras died as well as one male guppy...probably couldn't take the new environment...had to scoop their bodies out. It's a bit sad...I mean the tetras really looked good.

Went out after lunch today with baby...to get more female guppies...we found out we actually got too few. We also got a bottle of anti-chlorinating chemical to de-chlorinate the water. After that, baby's parents sent me home while they went off for dinner with the grandparents. Went to bath and after that let the females out of the bag after letting the bag sit in the tank for a while....the new females are so huge as compared to the ones we bought yesterday...but the males don't seem to mind that...haha...so now...

I OFFICALLY HAVE A FISH TANK...with fish in it. I love it.

Just need a smaller one for my hall. =)

well...I am home from work...
going for driving lesson later...weeee....
I have found that...the spots that I have are an allergic reaction...to what? I have no idea...it can't be food, I have been eating the way same way all my life...I haven't tried anything new...perhaps it's dust...I HAVE NO IDEA. All I can say is...I am very self-conscious about them now. I can't even wear shorts....it seems this "allergic reaction" has affected every wear except for the areas that the sun don't shine...by that I mean chest area, torso and butt.

If it gets worst I am so going to cry.

I just keep looking at them 0.0

Somebody in my office says it may be that my body is heaty...and all the feng, liang and TCM theory whatnot that she said...I have no idea.

I JUST WANT IT TO GO AWAY!!!

go find someone else to infect...

I've been home for a while now...
truthfully, I feel irritated with myself...for reasons I cannot explain...
I have like so any bites on my left arm, I have no idea how they got there...I just kind of noticed all of them yesterday....I mean I knew I had what looked like mosquito bites but...then yesterday around lunch time I noticed there were a lot. I'm rather pissed about it...I mean I look like I have some disease or something...perhaps it's my retribution for being so judgemental on how people look. I mean I personally have an eye for perfection especially when it comes to the way I dress...it just has to look good...and when I see people...I just get pretty critical. I'm just more accepting when it comes to friends...haha... talk about being biased.

NUS is irritating me...I have still to get a reply from them...I have no idea why it's taking so long. It's driving me crazy frankly...maybe it's because I applied to NTU...so they're torturing me making me wait. Or something...I come home wishing it were in the mail, like some crazy moron. I know it's not impossible, but...I just need it to BE THERE!! Is it so hard? I am full of worries, this is gonna make me die like 5 years younger than I'm supposed to...Hopefully, I'll still have my teeth then. My toothbrush bruised my gum...so it's so painful when I brush there...now it's hurting even when I don't touch it. It feels like a toothache, but I've never had a toothache, so I don't really know if it's a toothache. It shouldn't be...a toothache...

Work is pretty mundane...I just file stuff for people, open letters, pick-up phone calls, receive guests, arrange couriers...nothing much...since the workplace is so near to home I actually walk there, hence saving on transport. However, the amount I save on transport seems to have been made up in my lunch spenditure.

money, money, I wish I weren't so calculative...

It's LABOUR DAY!!!!

I shall be starting work on Thursday....and I shall be having my driving lessons next thursday.
Came back to Malaysia with my aunts (they came down on saturday)...my mum insists that I go see this sinseh...

anyhow...the past few days have been good...quality time spent with baby...it was enjoyable...a satisfactory kind of happy =) haha...I'm trying very hard not to use the phrase 'goofy happy' cos it just has an element of stupidity in it...and i don't think I'm stupid.

It was a super long drive down...as usual...then we went to get bus tickets for the ride home tomorrow and then headed for dinner. We had fish head curry, veggies, tofu..blah blah...i basically finished the veggies and the garlic and ate a lot of mantou. I have a THING for veggies and garlic. came back to my aunts house, bathed and now i am here.

Tried to use the starhub online sms thingamajig to sms baby, but it turns out that they sms the password to my mobile and I don't have autoroam...just meaning I don't have any reception...like wth...this sucks...

Tomorrow it will be to see the freaky sinseh and another long bus ride home.

Doctors are workaholics with a God complex. Sounds good to me...

I am once again employed....
somehow I never seem to be able to be employed for more than 1 and a half months...not my fault...
this time the pay's not as good but I can walk to work...haha...it's at guthrie house...so since I don't have to pay for transport it's a pretty good deal. Only problem is this time I hope they terminate my contract early, so I can do the BASF kids lab thing...it just looks so fun...I like doing kiddie experiments.

Staying home is a little stifling...there isn't much to do...studying 'A' level bio is just suffocating, You could choke on that much info at once. In sec 4, I didn't even know the cell had that much crap in it. Doing so much stuff in it. It's like I read...but don't absorb...unless it's like I unknowingly absorb. It has happened many times...when I get so freaked out because I don't feel full of content, then someone says something, the info just pours out of my mouth. It's a freaky thing, cos you don't even know you absorb, know or remembered what you studied until the very crucial moment. I really need black and white notes to tide me over. ANYBODY HAVE J2 BIO NOTES TO GIVE AWAY!?!??!

I like recently downloaded the whole 1st season of Grey's Anatomy...I like finished it in a day. Sound absolutely mundane? Tell me about it...But it was fun to watch.

Been doing half hour runs this week...but the thing is, it just gets boring running for 30 mins all alone...time just seems to pass so slowly when you run. But I must say when I'm done I feel good about myself. I didn't even know I could run for that long till that day I did it for the first time, I just amaze myself sometimes. Frankly, it scared me a little, it's like I don't really know myself and what I'm truly capable of.

Well...today was LaZy day!!!
I didn't have to get to work today...um...because I don't really have a job anymore...haha...
I watched 300 today...the men were so unreal, with EVERY man having like 6-8 packs.The movie was good...Iliked it very much. I like watching these kind of war movies like troy and 300 because their war tactics are just ab-so-lute-ly a mark of genius. Watched some TV, studied some bio, slept a little...somehow I think I almost came down with a flu and then I went out for a half hour run...omg...I swear I am amazed and yet my thighs haven't gotten any smaller or toned...there must be something wrong.

I'm tired as usual...
anyway...today was, not bad...although it was the last day of work...
for those of you who know that I'm actually on contract and a bit surprised...it's because the company found a perm staff to replace me. cos I definitely had no intention of staying on permenantly and they managed to get a perm staff they thought they'd better grab it...so now, dear gen is UNEMPLOYED again...haix...although I have to admit, i kinda wanted a break.

Apprently nobody knew it was like my last day today, so when it kind of slowly deseminated around the office after i told 3 people in my department. The day was somewhat filled with stuff to do...I didn't mind doing the filing today plus the usual quotations. Mr Yu brought the CST department to lunch and they bought me this chocolate cake with banana's in it as a tiny farewell gift. They were all saying why I didn't tell them it was my last day....i just didn't know how to say it...the only reason why the first three people knew is because they mentioned that i'd be here next week...haha.

I guess this is the best job i've had so far...the people are swell...they feed me like there's no tomorrow. My boss is truly a very nice man...he has that middle-aged man charm with charisma. He occasionally asks about you...unlike my last job where that woman was just a super-stressed out workaholic...haha. The people there were so nice...they were all wishing me all the best...and to let them know which hospital I'll be working at so they can get "free MC". These people I will truly miss...really...they're supposed to contact me to meet up with me for dinner. =)

Anyways...I shall be starting driving lessons in May...=)...weeee!!! I am happy...as you can see...shall have to head to BBDC to get the PDL tomorrow and I hope there isn't a long queue.

well i'm at the office...it's after lunch...seems like the most talked about thing right now is the US college massacre where a korean student went on a shooting rampage killing 33 people incuding himself.

After reading most of the articles...i just have to say how ab-so-lute-ly stupid the American
government is. For a country to even have such a thing as gun culture spells trouble if not potential chaos. I found this information on the CNA website 2 days ago.

"Buying and owning a gun in Virginia does not require a permit, but without a gun permit
only one handgun purchase per month is allowed, and there is no waiting period to acquire the gun.

Those with licenses can buy more than one gun during one month. A non-state resident has
to wait 10 days to acquire a weapon, or until he or she gets a positive report from the state police.

The law is broad enough to allow people to buy assault guns and magazines without limit such as AK-47s and Uzis, the Brady report points out on its website.

"Assault weapons are as easy to buy as hunting rifles," it says.

The state maintains "no restriction on the sale or possession of rapid-fire ammunition magazines that can fire up to 100 bullets without reloading".

The state does restrict people convicted of felony crimes from possessing firearms, and forbids giving or selling handguns to minors under 18, except from one family member to another.

But selling rifles and shotguns to children over 12 is permitted.

In one controversial loophole, people can buy weapons at second-hand gun shows without waiting periods or background checks.

Critics of the laws say it allows people to pay cash and take the gun away with no way to track them."

I was shocked at how lax the laws are, it just seems to have or not to have these laws doesn't really make a difference. Apparently "Virginia Governor Tom Kaine said it was insensitive to even discuss gun control at a time when the families of those killed needed to grieve" Why is it not the time? The only reason why this occured was due to the lack of gun control at both state and country level, would grieveing help return them a son, daughter, mother or father? Did it not occur that to address this issue now would help these people tide over their lose?

Perhaps i'm being too objective about this and unsympathetic towards these people...but what better time to bring this issue up and resolve all the loop holes and make sure it never happens to another 33 or more people? After we allow the families of the victims to grieve, the importance of this issue may slide and what is now known as 'The bloodiest school shootings in US history' would soon be forgotten, just like how the Columbine high school shooting did.

The freedom to do whatever we want whenever we want should NEVER trump the personal safety and security of a countrys' people. If that were so it would not make sense...simply because the people make a country. Without people...a country is just land. Isn't it?

Perhaps the Korean guy was mad, sick in the mind...but maybe there was a possibility that it could have been prevented. It was reported he was a loner...so far none of the reports have ny evidence of him even having friends. There could have been a high possibility that it was this loneliness that allowed this hatred in him to manifest and set loose this monster in him. If he had just one friend...it may have made a world of difference. Easier said than done is suppose...but little do any of us that our own actions could have such an effect on a person, to drive him to do such things. Just another POV i thought i'd just bring up, you don't have to share my views...but i just thought about it.

That was taxing on my brain...I haven't thought like that since GP....I feel old.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!!! muakz!!!

well...
just came back home from church and shall be heading out to give tuition soon...
yesterday was a good day...
went to work and talked to mr jonathan for a while after which i walked about in town waiting for baby to call me when he books out...
took 190 and met baby and his dad at lot 1 and to his house we went. The day passed really fast...haha...his mummy taught me how to make yam cake and it smelt so nice...i haven't tasted it thought, i did hear that a buit too much water was added into the mixture. napped for a while and before we knew it it was time to go for dinner.

headed to lot 1 to eat at different taste...and we met the tumble!!! OMG...she's so cute...2 month old jack russell terrier which chuangyang and michelle bought. He was sleeping in michelle's bag. In the car she woke up... we all started playing with her and the cutest thing was when she yawned. There was a chorus of 'aiyoh' when she did...back home she was just running around...teething at the wires althought we kept pulling her away from them...haha...

i want a doggie...and it's time for me to go...ciao!!

Cause all of the stars
Are fading away
Just try not to worry
You'll see them some day
Take what you need
and be on your way
and stop crying your heart out

I'm so tired...
so tired that i could sit down somewhere and just stone and look like i'm some depressed emo teenager in the midst of a mid-life crisis...
a part of me just wants to give it up...but I was so sure of it from the start, sure that i could make it,but now...i just...i don't know what to do.

should i even tell you things? you speak to me as if i'm some dumb ass...when you are the stupid one asking me the same question again and again. wtf...you ALWAYS do this to me...one minute you encourage me to do something like you'll support me all the way and then you just cut me off, leaving me for dead. before you EVEN question what it is i am doing and if i even have to slightest CLUE as to what I am doing....just look at yourself...you're in one freaking mess of your own and there you go pointing fingers at other people like there's nothing wrong with you when you're so deep in your own shit! The both of you are like 2 kids fighting over a toy and it so happens that he got it instead of you, so you're just not talking to him till he gives it back to you. Like wtf...give it up already...I'm at my wit's end...about to explode.

Tell me there are people in this world worst of than me...but truthfully, i would rather shoot myself. I DO NOT DESERVE THIS!!! I don't wanna a conscience...I don't want to have to work because i worry what will happen if i don't...i don't want to live like this...i just...i want so badly to fix it. I don't want to come home always scared of messing up, it just makes my life absolutely miserable...i try so so hard...and it never seems to be enough.

BYE SEAN!!! don't you just love NS?? where boys become men...

well...i haven't been blogging much..
apparently it's becoming somewhat of a trend among people like me who have been like longterm blogging. By longterm blogging i mean about 2 years...

anyway, last night i passed my basic theory test....like i completed it in 10mins...and my dear sheryl baey is already doing the final theory...like wtf. private really sucks, i still need to go all the way back to BBDC to register for PDL like soon...before they make me wait like a year and by the time i get my license I'll be like 30..aaaah!! private really sucks...and school just had to be so expensive...

anyway...I shall be meeting erika later for dinner...not having seen her for oh so long and i shall be goin for lunch now...

Well...work is starting to get unbearable...I spent an entire day sorting out 2 months of quotation by customer....and why you may ask. Because they don't have an individual file in the filing cabinet. In addition, I was told to put it in alphabetical order. After, like 7/8 of the day I was extremely frustrated about it and just stuck all the Bs with the Bs and the so on. I mean even the effect that the continuous streaming of video had on me is wearing off. The stacking up of paper and making them sit neatly has also given me like 5 million paper cuts.

I feel like picking up dance class again...any takers?

You know when your birthday is, but how old should you really be getting married? (Just put an x next to the things that apply to you)

[x] I know how to make a pot of coffee.
[x] I keep track of dates using a calender.
[ ] I own more than one credit card. (i don't have any, heh!)
[ ] I know how to change the oil in a car.
[x] I know how to do my own laundry.
[ ] I vote every election.
[x] I can cook for myself ( just the basic stuff...instant noodles?)
[x] I think politics are exciting... (more like interesting...)
[ ] I balance my checkbook.
[ ] My parents have better things to say than my friends.
[ ] I show up for school/college/work every day early.
[x] I always carry a pen in my pocket/purse.
[ ] I've never gotten a detention.
[x] I have never smoked a cigarette.
[x] I have never gotten completely trashed.
[x] I have forgotten my own birthday at least once.
[x] I like to take walks by myself.
[x] I've watched talk shows.
[x] I know what credibility means without looking it up.
[ ] I drink coffee at least once a week.
[x] I know how to do the dishes.
[ ]I can count to 10 in another language.
[x] When I say I'm going to do something I do it.
[x] My parents trust me.
[ ] I can mow the lawn.
[x] I can make adults laugh without being stupid.
[ ] I remember to water the plants.
[x]I study when I have to.
[x] I pay attention at school/college.
[ ] I remember to feed my pets. (don't have any)
[x] I can spell experience without looking it up
[x] I work out on a regular basis.
[x] I clean up my own mess.
[ ] The people at Starbucks know me by name.
[ ] My favorite kind of food is take out.
[x] I have gained weight since middle/high school. (does on and off count?)
[ ] The first thing I do when I wake up is get caffeine.
[x] I can go to the store without getting something I don't need.
[x] I understand political jokes the first time they are said. (most of the time)
[x] I can type quickly.
[ ] I have realized that the weather forecast changes every hour.
[ ] My only friends are from my place of employment.
[ ] I have been to a Tupperware party.
[x] I have realized that no one will take you seriously unless you are over the age of 25 and have a job.
[ ] I have more bills than I can pay.
[ ] All my friends are older than I am.
[x] I can say no to staying out all night.
[x] I use the Internet every day.
[x] My wardrobe hasn't changed in a while. (sadly, i do want to revamp it)
[x] I can read a book and actually finish it.

30!!! That's like really old...yeeeeee...oh well...

I'm in a rather pleasant mood today...
perhaps it's due to the fact that I didn't have to meet with the rush hour that I've been meeting with for the pasts few days commuting between orchard and buona vista.

I swear...after all this time travelling on the mrt, I have seen so much that I am disgusted with...yesterday has had to be the worst. I mean there a few common ones like not standing to one side of the escalator, by side i mean the left...I mean some people are rushing and need to get on a train fast or they just need to be somewhere fast so give way!!!! I don't get it...and they just stand on any side they wantmaking people zig-zag around them...which by the way is a terrible feeling when you're rushing. The other thing is people just DON'T move to the centre of the carriage...I mean I always do and it feels weird....cos there's like a humongous jam at the doors and where I am it's rather empty...crowding at the door just makes it so hard for people to get on.

However, yesterday was different all thanks to a certain malay woman. She was sitting, chatting with her friend and at the next stop her friend alighted and vacated a corner seat. so I headed towards it cos I still had like 6 stops more. She slid over to the corner seat, thereby vacating the seat she was previously in...I reached the now vacated seat and then this women leaned her body towards the empty seat, blocking me from sitting down. she patted the seat and gestured to her other friend further away to come sit there. She did not even acknowledge my presence...I was just standing right in front of the seat, all I had to do was turn around and sit...and she ignored me. Woman, just tell me "sorry, my friend is coming to sit here" I'd understand...it's natural for people to prefer to sit next to people they are familiar with.

sometimes i think some people shouldn't be given brains cos there's like no difference between the way they function with or without it.

I dislike public trasport. I am so gonna drive. And when I get sick of traffic jams and disgusting road etiquette, I shall get me self a plane and fly to where I want to go. a helicopter will be good too.

Pain comes in all forms; the small tinge, a bit of soreness, the random pain, the normal pains we live with everyday. Then there’s the kind of pain you can’t ignore. A level of pain so great that it blocks out anything else. Makes the rest of the world fade away. Until all we can think about is how much we hurt. How we manage our pain is up to us.

Pain. We anaesthetize, ride it out, embrace it, ignore it. And for some of us the best way to manage pain is to just push through it. Pain. You just have to ride it out. Hope it goes away on its own. Hope that the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions. No easy answers. You just breathe deep and wait for it to subside. Most of the time pain can be managed but sometimes the pain gets to you when you least expect it. It’s way below the belt and doesn’t let up. Pain. You just have to fight through because the truth is you can’t out run it. And life always make more.

- Grey's Anatomy "Bring the Pain"

I am going to make an effort to like watch grey's anatomy...cos...i don't know...it IS the medical world and I like it. And yes, I like the getting excited over the 'the-gorier-surgery-the-better-it-is' thing...

anyways, I am somewhat peeved right now...if not for the fact that I am financially reliant, wanting to keep things together and that i can't cook very well, right this moment, i really feel like up and leaving.

Firstly, I mean what kind of person comes home and doesn't even FUCKING border to hang up clothes that have been sitting in the stinking washing machine for half a day?!?? Instead you not only walk pass it...but you actually opened it, with the intention of throwing your dirty socks into it, saw it was full of wet clothes and dumped your dirty socks in the laundry basket instead. It wouldn't take up like a frikkin hour to hang it up!!!

Secondly, so there wasn't anyone home early enough to cook the rice (i knew i couldn't rely anyone to do it, when I was rushing off to church from home after coming back from work), you decide to go out and eat. Fine, although i don't see the point of doing that when rice could like cook in 40mins, you don't even bother to 'da-bao' anything back for kor kor and I to eat at all when we were like OBVIOUSLY coming home late. Just to describe how obvious, they actually called to ask.

I mean seriously, I am doing more if not a lot more than an average person my age should, ndering how I should spend every dollar...having to stretch like $10 a week in JC. Paying practically EVERYTHING through own bank, until it almost dried up and I shouldn't have to pay my way through _______ school. I mean it's supposed to have been planned out...wasn't it? Having to pay for things that aren't mine? I mean okay, it's supposed to be family...but what about me?

am I even appreciated?

There was this DISC test we took in secondary school, I happened to be a very high D...being dominant. Being D, our biggest fear is to be taken advantaged of...and I can testify to that. Right now, I feel not only stupid but pathetic...I hate that I have such a conscience...I mean my sisters are like they don't mind my mum doing stuff, but she fucking mops the house upstairs and down, cleans all the toilets, cooks dinner for all of us for the whole week and has a freaking office job. You'd think they actually think beyond themselves? I'm not saying i'm like a total saint, but this is right in front of you, happeneing in your own home...i just don't get it.

I can't help thinking...all the time I did all that stuff, what if I didn't, would have been able to do better for my 'A's? Cos I sure as hell didn't have as much time as the freak sleeping away on the table downstairs or the one far away...and if I definitely could have, then I seriously feel cheated. I feel like I'm being torn up bit by bit, I keep thinking that there's something better than this but right now...I don't think there is anymore.

have i told you how much i need you?

Today was just Sunday...
woke up, went to church...sermon was about patience, although i didn't detect much of a lesson invoved. More of a tell-you-my-funny-story kind of thing and then go back to the topic and verse for a little reminder.

Came back, had lunch and then headed off to springdale for my engrish tutoring job...it was olright...i mean considering she's from IB i didn't really know what to do, i just went with the general stuff, turned out it was rather okay...just needed to gauge as to where exactly she stands. Came home, hung out the clothes, took a bath and now I am here...oh so tired as usual...

Saw this quiz on my jie jie's blog thought i'd give it a go actually a large porportion of it was rather accurate...give it a go if you please...

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

it's late
and I am so so tired...
commuting from buona vista to orchard is just so tiring...
I HAVE TO MAKE THIS WORK!!!
I just have to get it started...confidence...

anyways, these few days have been pretty heavy, been commuting between the office at ayer rajah and another one at orchard. I shouldn't be complaining, i need to do this, otherwise it would just be impossible to accomplish what i need to do later on in life. Maybe I'm just scared, scared i won't be able to make it, scared of what I'll have or rather need to do...basically just scared of failing. Being independent in the past has led to too many mistakes for me, although I hate being dependent on someone or something...independence has lost some of it's lustre. Don't get me wrong, I still am very much independent in certain parts of my life, others have just slackened.

Anyway, the day was alright...rather slow in terms of work, still alright. This job hasn't gotten to me yet...people ar nice, they keep giving me stuff to eat and eat, cos they think I am waaaaay too skinny for a human being. Problem is that the stuff they eat is like really oily and stuff, like nasi lemak and char kway teow, which after eating makes me feel extremely uncomfortable. I just want to drink and drink more and more water to just flush all the crap out or something.

after work, travelled to orchard to meet sean and start work there. Was there until late, took the bus home after that, had dinner and now i think I shall go to sleep...

Hello!!!
today was good...the radio in the office does wonders for the environment, it just adds that little much needed entertainment. Mummy says it's called pipe music...and luckily it's on class 95...imagine the horror of listening to a chinese station the WHOLE day!!! I mean occasionally is fine, like when I sit in ben's parents car, but the whole day is just too much.

2 reasons why i am so contented with today...one, there was just so much work to do, it just kept coming in man...right about now you must think I am mad, but i think that I have come to realise that I am on the verge of becoming a workaholic and I don't seem to mind it. I was just on the go, on the go and I didn't mind picking up calls for people and taking messages. two, my boss called me in to say that he was impressed with my speed of doing things...he was rather surprised that I was using the SAP system to do quotations, cos he thought that the lady beth would just teach me to use word to generate them as it was just easier. SO i am a happy girl!!!

lunch was just chicken rice and i decided to try out walking from buona vista to holland v to take a bus...definitely cheaper...but timewise...maybe not much of a difference. Went for a run at about 7 and then came back, bathed and now i am here...shall be going for dinner soon...ciao!!!

today was like the best day ever...haha.

woke up at like 10...much later than i intended, but anyway changed and headed over to baby's and waited to go out for lunch. His mummy came back with michelle and chuangyang and we went to pick his daddy. Had dim sum buffet at tung lok seafood restaurant at the arena (opposite SAFTI MI), it was rather enjoyable, with the exception that it was really oily, but it was really good...it was so happy...haha. Took a few photos and then we went to QIAN HU FISH FARM!!!

It was just fish, fish and more fish, it was so exciting and they were just so so so beautiful. All the arowanas, stingrays, parrot fish, they even have this twin head tortoise. The fighting fish were also so beautiful, their colours were so electric...they even had this electric blue lobster...it was just so indescribable. Baby's love for fish has just rubbed off...haha...after walking around followed michelle and chuangyang to go lonkang fishing. surprisingly it's really difficult, although chuanguyang was like damn fast, he caught so many and they kept jumping out. They even have these big ponds of water outside for rearing arowanas, you could see them swimming around when they come close to the surface and they were so beautiful to see.

after our lonkang fishing experience, headed to farmart . we went there, fed goats some veggies, saw rabbits , guinea pigs, cute hamsters and mice...weee...plus super huge arowana, even bigger than those at qianhu and the huge snapping turtle. we even saw dogs...there was one cute quiet one just sitting in the cage watching...unlike the rest which were either running around or sleeping, it was just sitting there looking so cute...after that went back to baby's and napped a bit, spent some quiet time together...and then came home.

It was one amazing day!!!

HAPPY 2ND YEAR ANNIVERSARY BABY!!

weeee...anyways, the days started normally...went to work, I must say work at drager is much more enjoyable, there is a high possibility of work coming through the entire day, keeping me busy (which is what I like.)

during lunch i was just stuffed, I had like a whole bowl of ban mian and after that some of my other colleagues anne, shirley and kim cam to eat. They bought like nasi padang and every person's packet could like feed 2 and a half people. They then gave me like another portion fit for one, plus some beef and a chicken wing. I was like omg. In the end, i ate like a few mouthfuls of rice, finished the chicken and beef and pretty much threw a lot away. I did feel guilty, but there really was no other way. so back to work.

after which met baby at orchard and we went of to ramen ten for RAMEN!!! The quality of the meal wasn't as good as the one we got at their branch at orchard point before it closed ad was replaced by starbucks. after dinner, we went walk walk and then headed for home.

tomorrow we shall go to qianhu fish farm, weeeeeeeee!!!

It's monday....weeeeeee!!!!
anyways, I have once again joined the ranks of the employed...right when baby goes for block leave which starts on wednesday, well actually tomorrow since tomorrow is POP. I'm pretty excited i guess...I mean I don't have any brothers and stuff, so yeah...it'll be pretty cool...i hope i see people i know too...to talk too. ben's mum's gonna be picking me up...

Woke up at like 8...did the morning routines and then headed of to Ayer Rajah Crescent for a job interview. The HR lady was a bit scary...it was fine until she said 'you're only available till july? that's less than 6 months' i basically didn't answer that question...i just smiled...I mean the recruit agency said 3 months and now you're telling me 3-6 months...not my fault. Anyway the boss came in and we had a pretty lighthearted chat...very casual...just to see how I communicated...and I got the job. So I had to head down to the agency to sign a contract which happened to be conveniently located in orchard, so after doing that I decided to do a little window shopping...I'm still on the look out for those tote bag looking things, only things is, most out there are horrible or they just don't strike me as nice at all.

After that headed home and kor let me watch night at the museum on the comp...and now I'm here....I shall be heading out for a run later...I can't believe tomorrow is Tuesday=)

why hello...
another day without work and is it me or does the weather suck...
it's like major hot or something. maybe it's because i was stuck in an air-conditioned office and hence had no idea what daytime weather is like.

today was pretty much lazy day...didn't do much...just called a 2 places to offer to give tuition. I was telling one of them that i would like to teach maths and chem...or general science...and she was like so what about english, history, geography lit? i was like uh...no humans just those i said...and she was like..."you wanna teach so few only arh?" -_-...
For lunch, kor and I had like spaghetti with too much diluted spaghetti sauce...but i thought it was okay...after that went for a nap...and then got a call for an interview...weeee!!! After a week...like thank god...at least now i'll have something to do instead of just sitting around at home in this horrendous weather. Although i do rather enjoy the hanging up clothes to dry part. I get some strange joy from seeing them hang out to dry.

somehow...i wish i was back in school...
speaking of school...i tried to apply for NUS...but the application form was like so long, with so much stuff to fill and stuff i don't even know what i should fill or if i should even fill it. I still have my doubts about this bio thingie too...but i really don't know if i should take my chances with NTU..is it truly disadvantage as compared to being an NUS student???

I'm so going for a run later

It's wednesday people...
mid work week...
and i still haven't found a job...
the job offers haven't been particularly good actually, not that there aren't any...like $5 an hour working an officie job and $1000 a month with OT like until 7-8pm...
it just ain't worth it.

so the search goes on.

I have been sending resumes out like crazy...i don't even remember which company i sent them too and when i went back to check the job listings i can't even recall whether i've already sent my resume for that job or not...basically, the pressures of getting a job are rather great...and i just don't have much control over it, i just call and send out resumes and sit and wait for a reply. if there is one at all.

sad things aside...i am proud to say that i ran for like 20mins today...wee...and i usually do 15 and i actuall managed to run a further distance in the usual 15 mins, so i decided why not do another 5 mins...and it felt damn good. I was also in town in the afternoon, headed down there for an interview with some job agency with my cousin anson, who had class to get to. I wanted to do some window shopping, to see if i could get a new bag, but decided not to do that till i got a job. so yeah, i think i'm rather cruel to myself...i hardly self indulge...i do it like once in a billion years. perhaps it's because i have this fear that once i start i can't stop? Or that i keep thinking i don't deserve it yet? Or that i'm being too calculative? I mean the things i think are expensive are rather cheap for most people i know...like i'm only willing to fork out $20 for a nice bag.

I think i'm insane.

It's tuesday...
I'm feel quite happy without a job...but then...there's the downside being that i have no spending power. Not that I need to spend a lot now, there's nowhere and no one to go out with now, i would actually like to be busy. Especially since baby's not around, i need the mind to be busy so the days pass much easier and faster for me. His POP is next week, and then the block leave comes for 2 weeks...i really wanna spend time during the weekdays...where places are a little much quieter, but if i've already gotten a job...it's gonna be a little hard for that, plus mummy would highly object to placing quality time over making money...dum di dum.

Well, results came out last Friday...didn't really have time to walk much about it. CJC did really well...we're moving up the academic ladder, which i'm really proud. I for one don't believe that mission schools should suffer as a dumping ground...a place to put the "unwanted". Anyway...I would say this is the first time i've felt this quiet satisfaction in me. It's not a kind of ecstacy where i believed that i've done some extraordinary feat, but knowing i've reached somwhere i think. Perhaps it's a little of Karen's 'aim high but don't expect much' thing...but then again it's not. For the first time I don't feel like something has been robbed off of me, although I do wish that the B was an A...after all it would make the cert look a lot better when applying for things like being a tutor. I may not have proved to a certain someone that I'm an 'A' student, but it doesn't seem to bother me so much...perhaps it was just all about someone else. It's not like I have nowhere to go...I do and at the end of the day, I will show you i can make it!!! I will not be a taitai!!!

anyway...that aside...after results...hung around school for a while then baby and I headed to baby's home, watched some discovery channel. Then went out with his parents, sister and sister's bf for dinner...which was rather pleasant. =) after which baby and I walked around orchard for a while, although we did discover that it was 9+ and there wasn't really much to look at at that time and headed home.

Can I say I can't wait for the next week....

I
HAVE
OFFICIALLY
JOINED
THE
RANKS
OF
THE
UNEMPLOYED!!!

Today marks my last day at thhe dreaded offshore island...aka Jurong island...
After the boss almost pissed me off today...I felt happy to be leaving, but after thinking about how nice the people there are to me and how they've helped me through these past 1 and 1/2 months...I feel kind of sad. Anyways...i shall have to start looking for another job myself tomorrow so that money comes in like A LOT faster than when it goes out.

greetings from malaysia my people...
haha...
I'm back here once again for the new year as usual.

Set out this morning for the long drivr to tuai ma's(great grandma), which was rather eventful. We left at about 9 and headed towards the woodlands checkpoint. surprisingly there was like no jam...weeeee!!! then we got to the malaysian checkpoint which was unusually super jammed up. We like waited in one queue for 1 hour moving only like 1 metre during that period of time...it was ratehr strange seeing as during the times when we occasionally go in it's hardly jammed...the worst it gets to is just slow moving traffic. I can handle slow moving traffic, i mean at least you feel like you're getting somewhere and not stuck in one place. When we got pass that, it was just the tolls...i can't remember which one it was that we got jammed in. In a way it is pretty unusual for a jam to form at a toll, but it happened. As usual it got into the usual 'no moving' state and then all of a sudden one guy pressed on the horn and then everybody joined in. It was like absolute chaos....and i just wanted it to stop...i am a person who really dislikes noise. Turns out some reallt stupid people got into a little accident in front of the toll and decided to hold everyone up, get out of their cars and see who could shout who's head of in the middle of the road. like wtf...take it to the side of the road man...not everyone here wants to be involved in your bloody argument.

so those were just the terrible parts of travelling...we finally reached tuai ma's at like 2.30pm..had like a light lunch there and then people started arriving...which signaled the start of 'hong bao collecting' haha....daddy began playing black jack with the aunts and uncles, while the rest of us just talked with the others. People just continued to pour in...apprently there seemed to be news that one of my super tai tai aunts is pregnant. She actually came down in a lotus last year...and we were just wondering how in the world she would fit in it...i mean given that it's such a low riding car and with the newly added curves.

Had dinner with the many people and we left at about 7 plus and drove up to visit maternal side, not before we dropped at this humongous textile place just selling...textiles. mummy headed to a few stores to look at the curtains...we saw a couple of really nice ones at first but a pity they were either all sold out or didn't come in white. The trip wasn't wasted though, we actually found somthing nice, then it was another hour to the aunts.

Feeling so so tired, and there's still pizza to eat...i feel the sore throat's coming back...ciao!!

where did you go?

day 4

Dear Valentine, come away with me. If I had a day with you and you only, I would enjoy the simple things. The things that bring joy to the drudgery and the mundane, the things that, in the end, when time steals the rest away, are the only things we'll remember. I would paddle you across a still lake in a rowboat and read poetry to you until you fell asleep, and I would never ever think about the hours.

Dear Valentine, if I had one day with you and you only, I would admire every line of your face, every strand of your hair, every graceful movement of your hands or your eyes or your body. If I had one perfect day. Don't you see, my heart beats only for you?

Dear Valentine, these are the things I remember, my love... A warm hand, your warm breath, your warm mouth, your arms around mine. I remember feeling safe, ceaseless, like one person, the two of us, still, at rest, entwined. I remember how I felt the first time I kissed you. It felt like... the high dive. What do you remember? How will I ever know what was inside your heart? Where do they go, all the things we think and feel but don't say?

Dear Valentine, these are the things I never told you, these are the things I need you to know... that I loved you always, and my love was so big, it lives still after you're gone. I'd like to tell you that I would do it differently, that if I had one more day I would do everything right. But I know that not to be true. I'd make all the same mistakes. That is, except one... I wouldn't say good-bye.

Happy Valentine's Day...

day 3

I’m bringing sexy back
Them other boys don’t know how to act
I think it’s special, what’s behind your back?
So turn around and I’ll pick up the slack

back from work...
feeling very very tired...
anyways...work was rather pleasant, with tht absence of the lady boss...
when she left, the office was so much more pleasant and i didn't feel as if there were a pair of eyes watching me...
when i had nothing to do, i need not to go on a frantic search to find things to do and when things came, i got them done. I wish work could always be like this.
After work...,mummy told me to go to the polyclinic to get medicine for my cough, so i went to find the polyclinic, which took me forever. Having gotten there, i found it close at like 4.30pm. i mean wtf...people knock off work at the earliest 5?? how was anybody going to make it there?? i just didn't understand it. So i went to guardian and bought cough mixture and lozenges. I swear my house is a like barren, in terms of medicine. after which i took the bus all the way home.

bathed and am here now...dreading that today is ONLY tuesday...and that tomorrow would be wednesday. I am willing for time to past faster, especially during work...where i'm just "locked up" on that island, with no where to go. Plus the cough just aggravates then situation. basically, i'm just suffering...AAH!!! all for money!!! omg...I can't believe myself...

Anyways, i was watching the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show last night right after the chinese show at 9,when this beautiful creature caught my eye...Adriana Lima...she was first in the castings...omg...her face was just beautiful. she had this girlsh but yet exotic look...and her eyes are amazing and so is the body. i like. After watching...the need to go gyming has increased...i seriously need some abs to like APPEAR!! I need nice legs...not nicer legs..but nice legs...and a nice butt. haha...problem is...the 'gym' is missing in the 'gym-ing'. I'm too upper body focused...i need help with the lower...anyone i can consult?? justin timberlake's presence also just made the show so much hotter, his fabulous dancing and popping never fail to amaze.

day 2

well, i'm at work...blogging...
my boss is out...so i'm just taking a little risk right not, cos the boss of my boss is still around...
anyways...went for the NTU alks yesterday with a couple of the girls. It was a pretty good eye opener...it's just sad that NUS doesn't have this kind of stuff, cos there's just no way to compare and i don't wanna be swayed by the words people say. I also don't wanna be swayed by my own biasness towards NUS. Met lots of people I had lost contact with...haha..like miss eu-nice chew...she didn't even know i'd cut my hair...that was like 2 years ago!!! met some other CJ people...some I recognised, some I knew. Met jeremy and liting too...haha...seeing them reminded me of baby.

After the talk jolene, cherie and I just decided to walk around and just window shop. Actually, that was more me. anyway..shopping with them was a rather new experience. I walked into stores i myself would never have walked into and actually found some nice stuff. We decieded to drop into zara...seeing as i've never been in zara before in my whole life. Stepping in there was, like stepping into a new world. I wouldn't say it's high fashion, that would be an exaggeration, it's more like fashion higher than what we usually look at. I walked around...and was utterly amazed at all the clothes, most of them were really nice, something i'd love to go to work in when i'm like in my 20s, i mean cos they would define a sort of high status. Yhen again...as i was thinking further...i realised i do have friends my age who actually shop there. They say they shop during the sales...but looking at some of the clothes which range from like $60-$200+++ how much cheaper can they get really? where exactly do they get the money from? I'm not pointing fingers at anyone...it's just a curiosity that I have. Do parents out there really give out this kind of money? Or is it just because i'm like weird? mango itself is no different...so yeah...it was just something i was thinking about the past few days.

anyway...baby's at field camp...no contact for 6 days...something i hope i can get by with. i mean, usually the week passes real fast...and plus there's work to keep myself busy with and when I get home, i'm so tired i just go to sleep. He won't be out for v-day too...so we'll just see what cny has in store for the 2 of us. I'm still not even sure if we're even going back to m'sia at all, if we aren't then i suppose it's good for us, cos we'll be able to spend saturday together. I heard there's a possible half day on friday for work..so...more time for me to go home and sleep too. Other than all this...there's nothing much to consider in the week...i'm just looking towards friday. i still have a really bad sore throat and cough...in addition a headache after drinking all the ginseng root thingamajig. I am one sickly person.

Plus, i think i've been overeating the past month, i mean yes i am skinny and i should eat more, but not at this rate...I feel so bloated and disgusted. I'm usually able to like eat 70% full and then eat a little small snack like a piece of bread later when i'm hungry..but now i don't, so i eat a lot in one go. As a result...i have this extra, how do i say this? extra ring of fat around the area just above my hips, which has never been there before, it's not a lot...just a thin layer enough for me to notice. I wanna go out to run, but i'm still sick, making it impossible for me to do so...so i'm pretty stuck. stuck just doing crunches and push-ups. i have this desperate need to weigh myself. i always forget when i go to baby's house. i have no desire to gain nor lose weight....i just wanna maintain it. omg...could living be anymore stressful..haha...

do you miss me like i miss you?

I sound like a man...omg...this has got to be the worse sore throat ever. throw in a terrible cough and i look or rather sound like i've got some contagious disease.

A lonely saturday...
baby's still in camp...he won't be booking out today, cos he's got field camp starting sunday for a whole 6 days...later i shall be heading over to papa's office to just sit there and read, sleep and eat. In the evening we shall go shopping...weeeeeeee....

Yesterday, after work went to the driving centre to register for my basic training. Took an extremely long bus ride there from lakeside. I didn't even think it would take that long, the ride just never seemed to end. The procedure was quite simple. no hassle at all. I did however find out that i had lost my posb card. I was super freaked...i even took out all my cards and peered into all the pockets to make sure it wasn;t hiding in there. So i had to queue again to pay by cash. While waiting, met alicia and her father...after that was settled, I had to think when i last used the thing, which happened to be last week. After i deposited some cash I realised i must have forgotten to take it. Called posb and they said that the machine realised that I hadn't taken my card so they've already issued me a new one. Being relieved, went to book a test date...omg...march was totally booked up and I have wait till like April and I was planning to be able to drive by the time I reach u. Hopefully possible, despite the late test date. I liked the driving centre, it seems rather comforting? like it didn't look so bad...or anything too intimidating. Waited for the shuttle bus to bukit gombak mrt and took the mrt and then bused home. Bathed, talked to baby and had dinner. Daddy found my new posb card in the mail...this one's better...it's got my name on it...haha...took the coungh med and then I went to sleep.

I never thought i could miss you so much...
what's going to happen next week??

for the second day in a row...i haven't gone to work...
i actually planned to...but after mummy dropped meimei off i felt extremely terrible...so i told mummy that maybe i should go home. Cos if i suddenly decided during work that i couldn't take it, there's like no way to get back until 6. it kind of saddens me that i've lost money from not going to work these 2 days.
so came home...slept...had lunch and slept until i couldn't sleep anymore. this was about 12...decided to do some washing seeing how sunny it was outside. Then, had my lunch...drank some ginseng tea and slept again. Basically, it was a really lazy day for me...i feel rather alright now...just that my voice sounds terrible, like a little nasal due to the sore throat. Went through a terrible headeache, which just would not go away, in the afternoon. Then i started thinking of all sorts of weird stuff...like maybe I have like a tumour or something or maybe my brain's being eaten away inside my own head by something, making it hurt so bad...well, the headache's gone now...so i guess it wasn't cause by that. I didn't even switch any of the fans on the whole day for fear that the headache would just come back. It really sucks being sick like this.
i really miss school.
'O' level results will be out this Friday...so 'A' levels will be on the way too...I have my doubts, I've done all i can...maybe it's not enough?

the start of another new week...
although it didn't start off very well.
before that, let's recap the weekend...

saturday was pleasant...
ben's mummy came to pick me up and we went to pick baby up after he booked out in the morning. made a detour to the army market to get some stuff and off we went to fetch chuan yang. ben's mummy cooked lunch and then baby napped while i played some sims...weee!! i had long forgotten about that...haha...

watched some tv and then headed to town to have dinner at cartel...i decided to move out of my eating comfort zone and have pork ribs...haha...seeing as i had salad for 4 days in a row for work...it's time for some meat!!! reached home at about 10 and then i went to sleep.

sunday was alright except for the trip into malaysia...i had my long awaited hair cut =) and dinner...and we went shopping. i felt ab-so-lute-ly terrible...as i felt so under the weather...my knees hurt, so did my back and the air-conditioned environment didn't help either. At least we went my 2nd link...and got home fast after spending a bomb on grocery shopping. I did receive some tragic news upon my return to Singapore...For all who know Mrs Magdelene Low, please pray for her and her family...that they may find the courage within themselves to push on and that Mrs Low herself would find the strength to be able to continue being a mother to her children as well as her students. The only subject she taught me was ME but she did play a special part in the lives of my older and younger sister having taught them lit and english respectively. For all those who knew her would know how amazing she is at both, hopefully in this time of grieving she would be able to receive support from all those close to help her get through this.

home from work much earlier today...cos I was feeling most terrible at work. The place was freezing...i wore 2 jackets and still felt like an ice popsicle. I couldn't concentrate, my head felt like it was about to explode and my back felt like it was about to break. I like finished a whole tray of panadol there...but it didn't prove to work much. so after work, mummy picked me from lakeside and brought me home. after drinking some black concoction I slept for so so long...woke up when baby called me. =) He just finished guard duty and wanted to tell me he saw dolphins during his shift...haha...that was interesting. I told mummy and she was like 'dolphins? at tekong?'...haha...
anyways...i guess i shan't be going to work tomorrow, seeing as what a terrible state i'm in.

it's tuesday...
and the weekend just seems so far away...it seems that everytime I work, i only look forward to the weekends. Not that i didn't when I was schooling, but it's pretty alright to sleep during classes or in between classes, as in not out of the ordinary, but it isn't during work.

It just always happens during work, perhaps due to the lack of things to do??? I discreetly catch 40 winks here and there. Especially since sunday was 'house cleaning' day, there was an extreme reluctance to get out of bed. It's extremely horrible having to get out of bed so early 5 days a week...although I did do it like 9 years of my life. The perks of an office environment, such as an air-conditioned environment, soon become a bane. The dry air makes your eyes, nose and throat dry, hence making you sleepy and uncomfortable, plus it makes you feel like you're on the verge of falling sick everyday you go to work. To make matters worse, I get cold very easily, so I feel extremely uncomfortable.

Anyways...the weekend was really good, besides the house cleaning on Sunday. on Saturday, woke up, went for a run, came back and helped to clean the front of the house. The shoe cabinet, door, doorpost and the grilles. The amount of dust that has collected over the year is disgusting...especially with the contribution of the massive re-construction that my neighbour's house went through. After that, bused to baby's house after he had finished the NE programme at SDC. His mummy 'da bao-ed' the nice ban mian from the back of his house for lunch and we watched some TV together. Watched army daze together and he played a few games of dota while i napped. Went out at about 6 to lot 1 to buy some stuff and after that to orchard. We had dinner at vilage, which is the newly re-vamped marche...service is a little better, although there aren't many foreign chefs like there were in marche. Other than that, it was a really good dinner. =) walked around a bit and then headed home. Just like that, a day is over and sunday evening he went back. It just makes you wish for more time in a day.

work has been rather olright this week so far...
with the exception of the constant desperation to look busy when i have nothing to do.

The people are fun to be around with...the only problem still being the 'ulu-atedness' of the place, my constant hunger to eat something and the oily food. I have this reaction to oily food..it's not an allergic reaction like 'break-out-in-hives' kind of thing. My throat just gets really phlegmy, my stomach just feels like throwing up and I feel like scrubbing my sides clean or something like that. I apologise if I have made you queasy, but it's how it is. I tried bringing bread...but it doesn't fill you for long...then you might say, 'bring more'...but then eating so much bread just makes you never want ot eat bread again in your life. To think that I am actually contemplating to stay there for 5-6 months. I mean it's good money and stuff, but to imagine yourself stuck out there...is just a little unbearable.

The boss was supposed to set-up a computer at my table for the past 2 days...and it has still yet to be done. From what I hear, it's a rather scary move...because it means she's gonna be giving me A LOT more stuff to do and from what I hear... she's one of those psycho workaholic kinds who don't give very good instructions. I have been there 2 weeks without a PC, can you imagine that...you must wonder what the hell i do there. That would be just filing, calling people (which I hate) and at times answering phone calls. I suppose that would all change once the PC comes along. The people there say time moves A LOT faster with one to interact with.

The people there speak tonnes of chinese and dialect...people who know me well enough know how amazing my command of chinese and dialect is. With chinese, i'm quite okay...I just have problems conveying certain ideas and messages. My dialect ability is non-existent...I didn't even know what 'chi she' meant. Directly translated it means to eat snake...meaning slack. However, the people make it rather alright.

I HAD plans to learn to drive during this 6 months while I work...but looking at the cost...perhaps not. Even after working for 6 months...I would be left with almost nothing. I planned to learn how to drive before going to the U...plus since I'm working in the most 'ulu-ated' place in Singapore, makes it hard to commit to lessons. Anyway....baby's booking out tomorrow...after 2 weeks of confinement...I feel to happy and excited to see what he looks like. haha...what with the bald cut now. I just want to hug him...so much after not seeing him for so long. =)

work is starting to take its toll...
or was it supposed to be toll on me...
waking up so early all the time...and not sleeping early due to late dinners which make it uncomfortable to sleep right after a meal..
I have this horrendous feeling that if I do, i'd wake up fat and disgusted at myself. a beautiful vision.

baby called last night...well he calls almost every night...i got a little afraid when I read the sms about the ippt categorising...he "sounded" so unhappy and upset at himself. I was afraid it would really get to him...cos he always tries so hard when it comes to fitness, but he was alright. The army feeds them damn well...so far I heard bak kut teh, half a spring chicken with chips, a bun soup and cordial, plus ice-cream as a treat. haha...they were issued their m-16s yesterday night and learnt to assemble...reassemble...blahblah...i just wanna see it and touch it...however I don't think that would happen.

baby got worried too that I was going to work so tired...so I am eating dinner early tonight...there's also the matter of prisonbreak. I have yet to decide whether I should watch it, I could watch the encore on sat...but I may be forced into going to papa's office, resulting in me missing this episode for good. Then there's also the reason that tomorrow's friday...so after tomorrow, I can sleep in on sat to recuperate and make up for the lost time. there is the matter of that stupid shift in timeslot...making it end even later...at 11.30...
AAAAAH!!!

Baby what we doing makes the sun come up
Keep on lovin' til it goes back down
And I don’t know what I'd do if I would loose your touch
That's why I’m always keeping you around
My sexy love

so you think you can dance 2 has ended...
so we'll just have to see what 'dance floor' has to offer, not that i'm doubting it's abilities or the ability of our local dance talents.
i'll put some videos of some of the favourite dances I've seen at the end of the post.

anyway...work was a little better...
there was a better flow of work down to me, so i was relatively busier...which is what I like.
At lunch I went out to do my S pass...which grants me easier entry than what I have with the 'V' pass....with the 'V' pass I have to get of the bus and queue up every morning to surrender my IC to get the pass and then get through the gates and metal detectors every morning and the people on the bus have to wait for me. For those of you who are like 'huh-ing' at the post...I'm actually working at jurong island now...and not at venezia anymore...the checkpoints are like those you get at 2nd link and causeway...they check your boots, your pass...in layman terms very 'lechey'. high security area.

The S pass was done pretty fast...it was like my number was called after i sat down for a few mins. The photography was weird...I mean I went inside, sat down and smiled at the camera cos I thought she was taking...but I didn't hear from the woman in there. she just kept typing on the computer...and then like a few mins later she gives the pass with my photo on it. usually people say something when their taking your picture. thankfully the pic was nice.

went back to the office...did more work and that woman eunice came. the first time i saw her...i didn't like her...she gives of that vibe like...she's better than others? call it confidence if you want...but it just makes you stay away from her, cos she just seems to be looking for a quarrel. The worst part of work would be the calling part, it's that I'm uncomforable with talking, but these kinds of calling...i usually have little idea what i'm calling about...so I just seem rather noob. plus the person who did the job is on maternity leave...so no one can really help me.

came home...bathed...and I'm here...I'm so so sleepy.
2 weeks seems so long, 3 months seems so far...maybe I should relief teach after 3 months...like at IJ sec???

Heidi and benji - Black mambo





I heidi has grown on me during this season...I've come to LOVE her. Benji and her are cousins too and they dance AMAZING together...i mean where can you get such gret genes running in a family man!!


Ivan and Allison - Sexy Love





this performance had a special place in my heart...it was so sweet...not mushy...seeing them dance like that, I wish I had someone to dance with like that...haha...and this kinda of hip-hop really touches you SO much more than the aggressive kind we normally see.


Top 4; benji, donyelle, travis and heidi - sexyback




I LOVED this one...wade robson is a GENIUS!!! and travis...hothothot...the way he worked it walking down the stage...haha...


heidi and travis - calling


this one left me rather void of emotion..i dunno why...like after I saw it...i felt empty...which is a rather strange feeling to evoke.

today was a rather bittersweet one...
Had work from 10 to 1...
then baby and his parents came to pick me up to send him of to tekong. The car ride was nice...I mean...I won't be able to seem him as and when I like anymore...so I was trying to remember whatever I could about him...to commit it to memory.

parked at white sands and went to the bus terminal to board a bus to get to the ferry terminal. It was like at so many parts of the journey, the enlistees had to queue separately or go to somewhere else to check in and stuff...I felt a little empty...like I didn't want him to leave yet. He was apart from us most of the time...actually for the whole tour of the BMT school, but the accomdations, amenities and especially the food looked like damn good. There was this video where they showed a video of recruits lining up for food and the plate was like carbo LOADED!!! with like humongous fries and stuff. like wth...anyways, they were in the process of buidling a basketball court and street soccer court for them...and the recreation room was big, with TV, foosball table...haha...They even get dessert in those field packs...haha. Later on, there was this presentation about the equipment that they would carry and in the field packs, which had a person carrying it with uniform and camo on...and ben's mum and I were saying that the guy was quite pitiful, standing there having to do this...later I found out it was joel...haha. He was like calling me and I kept turning around to see who was calling and then I saw him.

last meeting was the meal, met in the canteen chiongwei too...like long time no see that marist since he left 1st 3 months. The meal was alright, rice with veggie, fishcake and a chicken wing plus green bean soup and an apple. after that...was bye bye...the ride home in the car was lonely...it was like I forgot to bring something back. I mean I did leave someone there but...like an empty feeling...

and tomorrow is another day...
just very different from usual...

i don't know when you'll read this,
but i hope i can be what you need me to be...
i love you... =)

Well it is a bit late but HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
I'll be heading to work soon...at like about 4
I'm like working 12 hour shifts this week.....and baby's heading into NS next friday.

oh well, lots has happened the past few days, so lets start with

SATURDAY

the relatives popped down to celebrate the new year so the house was mighty crowded and noisy...perhaps noisy is a rather negative word to be used...how about warm...it's like you can't move around or find a space for yourself. Took the cousins out for lunch at turf city to eat the fried fish bee hoon at our favourite stall, then headed home bathed and changed, and headed out for salsa!!!
met stacey at the macs at parklane and we talked a little, the class was not bad...haha...it's like the best time of the week for me...it gives me a high...dancing just does that to me. after that, rushed to pick baby up from the bus stop and headed home for steam boat...haha...joseph came too...so it was like 14 people squeezed at the table. we had gelato, konyaku jelly and some sago dessert plus sone other stuff....I think we had like 5 courses of dessert. haha...played some bridge which I just suck at and will probably never ever play again unless I make sense of it. Mummy and daddy sent joseph and baby home and I went to sleep.

SUNDAY

morning was church...sadly PEW is leaving us...he's like the humour of the church.
Came home, had lunch and wasted away in front of the tv till like 3 when we headed out. Met baby and went shopping!!! haha...well sort of, seeing as we didn;t buy anything. Saw a nice denim skirt for lik $21, but decided to head down to the sales to find anything cheaper....which there was for $9 woohoo!!! they just didn't have my size...so that was the end of shopping. Walked around PS for a bit and then headed to city hall to meet ben's friends for dinner and countdown. The pre-show was quite terrible, entertainment was pretty bad but the fireworks at marina was so good. Besides the fact that there was no bus for me home and it was super duper crowded and a girl slammed into me stepping of my toenail which is sort of broken now...it was a pretty good evening spent with baby....muakz!!! haha...mummy, with my aunt in another car, came to pick us 7 stranded travellers home.

MONDAY
Happy birthday kelvin!!!!
lets see what happened...well I woke up at almost noon and had brunch...sat around and chatted for a while and when guin came home, we headed of the m'sia for dinner at 3.37. it was early....but we got there at 6...it was jammed pretty badly. Ate at the usual place just with more stuff and more people...and we left after that. Then it was another 2 hours to home. I actually wanted to watch So You Think You Can dance today, the episode looked SO SO SO good. but I just had to get it taped. Came home, bathed, watched little nicky...and then it was of to bed.

TODAY
Happy Hari Raya haji to all the muslim people out there!!!
Everybody's left...so the house is pretty quiet. All that remains of noise right now, would be the incessant sounds of the construction coming from my 2 neighbouring houses. It's just hit me that school actually starts tomorrow and I have no uniforms to iron norbooks to buy...it feels rather foreign to me. I'm old....I wanna drive =)

I was supposed to watch prisonbreak today...but due to some unfortunate circumstances...I was unable to do so.
I should like just stop watching, I mean, I've missed one too many epsiodes for me to understand the show anymore, I think.

Anyway, woke up this morning...watched some cartoons...spongebob was truly hilarious...haha...and winx was just what it was. Later, went down to venezia to pick up the ice-cream and went to papa's office.

Left there at 5 to get to the dance class, which was what triggered my little 'pissed off' mood. I got to the bus stop at like 5.20...I understand...I probably missed it. The next one came at like 5.40...like wtf...I was supposed to meet sean at like 5.50. The bus service is super screwed or something man...plus the bus uncle was driving so slow...even the areas where 77 does not stop, like in orchard where 77 does not stop at like 2 bus stops in a row...it was going at CRAWLING speed. I felt like punching th uncle out and taking the wheel, which would then be bad for the other commuters; or just standing up in the bus and screaming 'WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM, YOU CAME LIKE FREAKING LATE AND NOW YOU'RE DRIVING DAMN SLOW.' but of course I did not. I just sat in my seat and fumed. When I alighted, I speed walked like 5 mins walk to the building next to paradiz. like omg...

anyways, dance was fine...there were some good laughing moments with sean today, although we did get confused along the way...haha...

Went walking around and I came upon what seemes like a reward from HEAVEN!!! It was like God was presenting me with a gift for being so disciplined and thrifty the whole year. There were some really noce polo tees going for like $13...like wth...I'm saving like $10-$20!!!! woohoo!!! pity i didn't have money there I then, I just need to calm myself down and limit myself to ONE!!! I walked into La Senza...I really like some of the pjs there, but who knew pjs could be that ex man....then I headed home.

Came home watched some toy story and had dinner...I can't wait for christmas...weeeee....ben and joseph are joining us. I think it would be really good. ben's coming back tomorrow...I wanna see what he bought me....weeee...he won't tell me.

Christmas is like ALMOST here...
weeeeeeeeee...
somehow...the feeling towards christmas has changed...there's this lack of excitement and anxiety as the day approaches. It has become somewhat like just any other ordinary day in a year. It doesn't feel like a holiday anymore...

I've just had my lunch...a rather heavy one...which is very out of the ordinary for me. Perhaps it was due to the fact that there was too much leftover stuff, but yet not enough to make a meal so I had to make like a bowl of instant noodles. All in all I had a char siew pao, a bowl of soup (from last night) and a bowl of instant mee. Which is a helluva a lot of crap to me...aaaand I just put all that into myself....

work has been olright...I'm just afraid that my hands would become all rough after all the washing of dishes and plates. I dished out so many boxes of ice-cream today...omg...wo zhen de gen chocolate you yuan (I'm fated with chocolate). All that dishing of the belgium and dark chocolate was really a workout...for the fact that the belgium is so damn hard and the dark chocolate is damn sticky and hard. A pity my left arm is like useless...if not...the biceps on both arms would at least look the same. haha...

I think last night, mummy like went crazy. I have NO idea where she went...she came home with like 4 burnt christmas cds. I mean, their pretty nice and all, but I mean, their all pretty much the same songs in different versions. It's like the hamburger...if you know what I'm talking about, or did I just confuse the dear reader. However the enya one was a good choice...I just want the corrine may one now. =)

I believe I now have to go and clean the house. so ciao!!!
Merry Chiristmas and a Happy New Year. (just in case i'm not here to say it)

I'm finally on the internet....
the home PC has finally died...it was rather expected cos , it didn't seem too hot when it came back from the repairman in the first place...
so now I'm on papa's comp, just that there's no powercord(sp?)...I have no idea where it went...so I have to finish this fast before the battery runs out.
anyway, work is going a little better, I think the scooping has improved...with regards to one and 2 flavours. As for the box ones...a little more time, I just need to make the ice-cream look neat and stuff. I learnt to do more of the foods...so yeah. other than that, I've been on the night shift the past 2 days...which is crazy. Tuesday was fine...there wasn't anybody in near closing so li yin and I went home early. YESTERDAY, there were still people in the store at closing and more people coming in during closing, so we ended late.

Baby's away on another of his things until saturday, so other than work...it's been the TV and 2 dvds my sisters and I rented. I thought Gattaca was really good, Mr Hoi let us watch snippets of it for a while during GP but we never really finished it in the end, so it was good to see how it all finally turned out for the man. Highly recommended. My sisters watched Maria Full of Grace, another movie I watched in GP lecture. It wasn't too bad...it's just frightful to think you can swallow 60+ pellets THAT big into your stomach.

Just had my bf...home alone and I will be working closing again, missing prisonbreak again. It's gonna be more tv again wile waiting to go to work, maybe I'll do some reading since I've found a book to read, or maybe ironing. whatever it is, life is just boring now, until work starts.

I so need to get out more often...without spending money that is.

Any takers? haha...

Have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry?

I told you not to, but you just had to...
Don't you have anything else to do???
what part of 'don't call' do you just NOT understand???
just leave it...

I disgust myself...

somebody just shoot me...really, cos I HATE feeling SO SO pathetic...

Well...work is so starting to get to me...
I'm starting to think I'm not too good with this ice-cream dishing thingamajig...
I mean I just CANNOT make it look right in the cup,one person says it's fine, just get the shape. On the other hand, someone else says make the sides flat like OMG!!!
worst of all I was like trying to get through work without breaking any like plates and stuff and I ended up breaking a jar of jam which was conveniently put in front of the drinks, plus at that moment there was a rush to get stuff out of the kitchen...so the floor was sticky, went to get the mop...of course I ahad to wring it, if not the whole place would be wet and slippery and people might fall, no the person there tells me I don't have to wring the mop...like huh??

Tomorrow night I'll be working closing...hopefully it goes well...and then I'll rush home to watch prisonbreak.

Today was just today...I spent almost the whole day playing the pokemon gameboy which I got from ben. I swear, the games I get from him...the first was chicken invaders. Spent about another 2+ hours watching Italian Job...it's a good movie I must admit, the genius of the plan always amazes me.

I thought I'd get through today okay...I dunno, sometimes i despise being a girl. There are just TOO many traits I dislike about girls. Like how in movies they scream and cry about everything when they should be DOING something CONSTRUCTIVE, like shutting the hell up. Plus, how they get so freaked out by anything with more than 2 legs. Cockroaches I understand, cos they're so damn filthy but like for the rest just use your feet and kick it away or flick it away, Another thing is how they get so emotional when they get attached to someone which is how i am right now. Like WTH...it's only 4 days...STOP being an unreasonable WHINING BITCH!!! stop calling acting like you can't live without him....AAAAAH!!!! I'm becomig like EVERYTHING I dislike about girls, being the retarded loser who just can't live without her boyfriend.

somebody just shoot me...

are words of comfort so hard to come by??

first day of work...
my feet hurt, hurt...
I wish there was someone here to make it feel better...

I just wish you would leave me the hell alone...
like just GO AWAY...why is I always feel like i'm being, I dunno, pushed around.
it's like when you like you get me to do stuff and when you don't like it you just explode in my face.
I've had ENOUGH!!! find someone else to do your shit, you think you're the ONLY ONE, you think you're the only one that has a whole load of SHIT to handle. Well let me just tell you this...WAKE UP YOUR FREAKIN' IDEA!!! The whole BLOODY world does not revolve around you. It doesn't mean you're treated like that all day you can come home and be like that around everyone. If everyone can take all your crap, I certainly can't!!!
I am SICK and tired of this...

I just had to vent...anyways, today's work was alright, I just could not get the ice-cream to look right, I mean what the hell is up with the gelato man...it just won't get into the shape in the cup. The worst is when 2 flavours are needed, I can't uimagine 3 flavours. In way the job isn't too bad, cause there isn't much to do in the morning and it's walking distance. I just need more confidence...yeah and like not to be so kan chiong when doing things, cause if I do i just screw up some stuff. plus I just need to get more familiar with things, the isea of having to call on people for help is just, I dunno, it makes me feel a little retarded. I get that it's not wrong to ask for help, but to ask for it so frequently just gets to me. hopefully, everything get's sorted out and into place tomorrow...

tomorrow seems bleak, lonely, oh why did I let you go so far...
I want you back...
why did you go...

Back from the hotel!
weee....the hotel was damn nice...just that I didn't sleep much having drunk too much. By the wasy...drinking too much is rather relative...for me that would me more than a bottle of becardi or hooch. yes, yes...laugh your bloody ass off and say it....I'm a pathetic drinker....muahaha...luckily I'm not a fan of drinking, so it's not much of a loss...haha.

The dinner was a blast because of the people...but foodwise it wasn't too great. Even my favourite course (shark's fin) didn't have much taste, in addition the vinegar was rather lousy...you had to add like a lot to actually even taste it. Dessert was olright by me...just that the aloe vera wasn't as crunchy as it was supposed to be.

Took a bus down to PS in the morning and baby and I had breakfast at MacDonalds...Weeeee!!! I satisfied my long time crave to have hotcakes...and it was prettyt satisfying with a nice hot cup of tea. I also managed to have breakfast with baby at macdonalds, which was what I have wanted to do for a while now. after that, baby went off for his appointment and I headed home. Came home and I did a little housework before bathing...and I called Venezia. YES!!! I shall be dishing out ice-cream for the next 2 months. Plus, it's NOT just ice-cream people...its GELATO!!! muahaaha...I just hope to clock enough hours to make like $1000 in my bank, which would actually require me to work for like 10 hours everyday at the most...but hey, I'm dishing out GELATO!!!! Who wouldn't be able to work 10 hours with lovely GELATO!!!! Weeee!!!!

I really hope it works out...I keep thinking that a good paying office jopb would come along...but it's been like 2 weeks...it's driving me crazy!!!!

Like really...

wahahahahaha....
spent like the entire afternoon till evening at sheryl's house...
morning went to pick baby and buy the delicious ham ends we discovered last night and then walked back to the house. Baby fixed the neckalce up for me and we spent sometime together and watched a bit of flushed away.

After that walked to sheryl's. Sheryl and I watched step up together (LIKE FINALLY!!) It was pretty good...I LOVED the showcase, rehearsals were groovy to watch...sean and baby were outside playing ome flying game when we left and when we were done, they were playing some tank game. As in they were riding in tanks shooting aliens which make really cute noises when killed. Had lunch...curry with maggi mee noodles and bread....we like finished the whole loaf. after that we decided to play monopoly...haha..it was pretty good. I got 2 hotels...haha...sean paired up with sheryl and baby with me...haha and sean went like bankrupt twice. Saved by passing GO!

It got a little boring...then we played MAJONG!!! muahaaha....baby and sheryl taught sean and I the noobs how to play...it was a rather painful 6 games...taking eons to finish each one...each time I was sooooooo close the the tile just didn't come. haha...baby said, another criteria filled towards becoming a taitai. I can shop and now I can play mahjong. I just need to be jobless in the future and married to rich husband or tycoon(Being optimistic...=))

we left at about 7...baby took a bus to the interchange while sean and I waited for the bus together. While waiting I educated him on the basis of make-up; why women put make-up, what piece of make-up is for what purpose, the colours they come in...haha...now I a home having had my last day of freedom without a job.

I just dread the idea of having a job...it's like I so haven't made up for ALL the free time lost from prelims till the end of 'A's I just wanna, you know get acquainted with the god of idling (if there is one) and regain the ability to SLACK!!! This sounds a bit strange but yeah....however, on the bright side...I will have a bit of spending power. I still have a lot of things in mind to buy...so there's the motivation, plus the dance classes I ahve to pay for, so I just need to focus on that.

NO PROBLEM!! yeah....oookay...so ciao!!!

IT'S OVER!!!
OMG...I like never thought that i'd be able to wait till this day came...haha
well chem mcq, didn't go as planned, but oh well, nothing much can be done as of now.
went out with baby and his class to minds cafe to play board games.
and guess what?
I met ERIKA!!!
and we just spoke on the phone the night before...um...no...the day before last night...
it was soooo good to see her...haha...we have to meet sometime....SOON!!!
got to minds and I stayed with the guys, played citadel, it was pretty good...baby won...weeeee!! I helped him out choosing the cards...baby bought me a brownie and ice-cream...and the brownie was soooo good. it was so moist and warmprobably on e of the best brownies I've ever tasted.
after minds we met baby's friend siewjing...haha...she was so cutely blur....likecrazily disoriented...um...you most likely didn't get what I said but never mind...baby sent me out and then I took 77 home

the wait was like forever...it was like after numerous 190s, 106s, and 162s, it finally decieded to show up. The bus ride was equally bad...I don't know why, I was rather irritated as to why it took so bloody long to get out of orchard, perhaps it was due to the after work rush to get home thing....but it was UNBEARABLE. The hunger and tired eyes just added to the horrible experience...got home...bathed and now I'm here....mei mei went to pierce her ears...weeee....I'm wondering if I should....I have this strong feeling of wanting too...

Finally a little breather in between papers...
I had like math 1, chem 3 and math 2 for 3 consecutive days
next week's like the last stretch of everything, the only thing that's finished is math, so yeah, like 2 down, 2 more to go...making that like 5 more papers to go....
after all this...chacha and salsa hopefully...I really wanna learn...
and for the first time in my entire life, I WANT to go shopping...I have NO idea what to shop for, I just wanna spend and buy something...AAAH!!!

12 to go...

the tagboard is like fixed...not fixed, I just got a new one.
Anyway, seeing as I haven't blogged since october...

lotsa stuff happened; graduation day, many fun days of class with the class, or at times the lack of it, mock and more mock exams. A rather bittersweet period of time, parting ways is difficult after having gotten used to having them around almost 24/7. plus, it's only been 2 years, so it seems like you've just gotten used to them and it all just ended so fast.

Graduation day was like a touch of reality that we won't see each other as often anymore, and that the 'A's are like 3 weeks away. The year passed like lightning, and yet there's a feeling like i'm not ready to go yet. I wanna stay a little while longer, especially since this is the last I'll ever see of formal schooling. JC life was truly amazing...it was torture, but yet there was so much laughter involved to totally dismiss it an insufferable experience. It's nothing like IJ, but it was close...maybe on par...

now it's time to hibernate and prove to myself what the two years were worth in terms of academics and I really hope that there are no regrets. not even a single one.

church today was rather light, I mean pastor was like preaching on how we could spiritually connect when two sparrows flew in from behind the curtains in the MG audi. I have NO idea how they got in. but they kept chirping and hopping infront and flying around. There was also a little boy who kept following the birds, obvioulsy fascinated...haha...that came to an end when he started to climb onto the stage. The rest of the day was spent with environmental chem, technically should be just called major regurgitation, the problem being that regurgitation is only possible if you actually SWALLOW anything.

I pray to God that everything goes well for the next 2 weeks...

baby: haha...oh yeah, it still seems rather strange as to how we could have forgotten the 19th anniversary...so happy belated 19th anniversary...