Sunday, February 29, 2004

Dear Valentine,
come away with me. If I had a day with you and you only, I would enjoy the simple things. The things that, in the end, when time steals the rest away, are the only things we'll remember. I would paddle you across a still lake in a rowboat and read poetry to you until you fall asleep and I would never ever think about the hours.

Dear Valentine,
if I had one day with you and you only...I would admire every line of your face, every strand of your hair...Every graceful movement of your hands or your eyes or your body. If I had one perfect day... Don't you see? My heart beats only for you.

Dear Valentine,
These are the things I remember of my love. A warm hand, your warm breath. Your warm mouth. Your arms around mine. I remember feeling safe, cease-less. Like one person. The two of us still, at rest, entwined. I remember how I felt the first time I kissed you. It felt like, the high dive. What do you remember? How will I ever know what was inside your heart? Where did they go? All the things we think and feel but don't say.

Dear Valentine,
These are the things I never told you. These are the things I need you to know. That I loved you always. And my love was so big, it lives still after you're gone. I'd like to tell you that I would do it differently. That if I had one more day I would do everything right. But I know that isn't true. I'd make all the same mistakes. That is except one. I wouldn't say goodbye.



Saturday, February 28, 2004

You go ahead call irresponsible
I admit I'm unreliable
but it is undeniably true
That I'm irresponsibly mad for you

Saturday's finally here...actually it's ending in another 2 and a half hours. Oh well, time flies...why fly, myabe time can't walk, or run, or crawl..nHad stupid meeting at 8am...woke up late so got papa to send me to school...thank you for not shouting at me...I did not bother to find out how many people could make it at 8am...so ended up, charmo, charmaine, deborah and me...sittin' in there, wasting our lives away until 9am when jieying and erika arrived with a missing eunice. Anyway, things got done really fast...today rather organised, less people is good. Went for lunch with charmaine at Novena and we walked around for 3 or was it 2 hours around Novena...THANK YOU CHARMAINE....and then headed back to school for invest practice.
Invest was draining. Constance was...how should I put this...demanding. She really went through the ENTIRE process. I could practically fall asleep...plus point, get to leave class at 1155 on monday. Went home...spent some time with the box and then did some homework....ate dinner mum made me wash-up...and now I'm typing away...blahblah...peace out

johnny_eyes
You've Got Captain Jack Sparrow's Eyes! You've Seen
So Much Of The World, And Lost Many Friends And
Dear Posessions.


Which 'Pirates Of The Caribbean' Eyes Do You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla

Friday, February 27, 2004

What’s your flava
Tell me what’s your flava
What’s your flava
Tell me what’s your flava
What’s your flava
Tell me what’s your flava
What’s your flava
Tell me what’s your flava


gen is hungry...haven't had dinner...papa just got home so, waiting for him to finish bathing then go eat. Was pissed today...actually been for the whole week, just dunno how to get it out. Had Amath first period...did you know my STUPID claculator cannot convert certain decimals like 15.7037037 to fractions...Mr Tan kept saying that my calculator was SHORP...kept saying I bought a pirated calculator...WTF...now gotta go buy a new calc. Mrs Kunna didn't come for ME...sac...Mrs Tay came in during the 2nd period of ME for chem...hence we had 2 periods of chem...got through it. TYM let us of early cause she said that we were so quiet and good when she came in, so she let us have an early recess. Had English...that stupid comprehension by KCPSS was so damn hard...half the time I did not know how to express myself, the other half of the time I spent jumping from question to question...Pg 95 of the practice papers book. Physics was spent in the lab doing practical. Guides, well was quite angry, I would say that guides is probably where I can really relax. Happy that I'm gonna get gold soon...I'm basically angry at how my life has turned out. Well anyway, things went according to plan pretty much. Came home watched a little TV...then watched latest ep of DA...I always love the fighting...Jessica Alba kicks some real ass. Cooked rice...then went to steam fish, which I messed up cause I totally forgot about the damn thing in the wok...still edible but just that the previously white plate has turned to an onyx black...gonna slack tonight, watch some extras Nat's DVD. I need some colour in my life.

Thursday, February 26, 2004

I've fallen
Head over heels
I've fallen
In love with you
I've fallen
And I can't get, don't wanna get up
Because of love
Head over heels
I've fallen
In love with you
I've fallen
And I can't get up, don't wanna get up
Because of love


IT'S THURSDAY!!! Tomorrow will be Friday and then finally Saturday...it's times like these that make life worthwhile. PLR as usual first period...I HAVE to tell you this, EVERYBODY should go read 'Sophie's World' by Jostein Gaarder...OMG I tell you the damn book is such a wonder...it makes me THINK!!! Can you believe that, a bool make's me think...now I'm ranting...I will stop. Had chinese then chem...stupid comp don't like Mrs Tay, worked fine with Alex...LOL. English was spent looking as our expository essay...I got an A2...I never get A2s...never...never. PC, calculated my 'O' level fees...can you believe I am paying $51 each for my Bio, chem and phys. I mean, it's just a bunch of papers stapled together or folded together to form a damn book. Unless Cambridge uses paper, such rare paper that only they have, which I don't think they do. Had EM test, turned out better than I expected, I actually knew how to do more than one question *clapclap*. More lesson, I still don't understand the stretch thingie. Went for investiture meeting, just to get some letter to invite our parents. Went back to class to have my shortest ever practical which lasted 10min. Later went to Alex's house to do ME project and study physics. Got home and now I am here, I should be going to have dinner, so good night to the dear reader.

Tuesday, February 24, 2004

Can't help it if I space in a daze,
My eyes tune out the other way,
I may switch off and go in a daydream,
In this head my thoughts are deep,
Sometimes I can't even speak,
Would someone be and not pretend
I'm off again in my World!


It's Tuesday...2nd day of the week...and still counting. Well, started the day of with chinese test, which didn't turn out to be easy (as usual) but the comprehension was easier...needed a bit of thinking though..hanyu pinyin was unusually bad, most words I have ever forgotten. For physics, Mrs Tang didn't digress at all this time although she happened to not have heard of the word 'blacksmith' so she called it 'the person who makes sw-ords'. Social studies test, well I didn't know what I was writing, although now that I think about it...I was pretty much just beating around the bush to make my essay longer. Had a little...not BIG debate during English after a friend used the PoA story book as her 'show-and-tell' thingie...satanism, backmasking and all that stuff. Couple of the visiting Vietnam people dropped in to see us...the first remark we made when they left was about one of the guys in the group. He was rather handsome but came across as kind of a...I wouldn't say flirt, but it's all I got now...'first time I come to Singapore and I see how beautiful the girls here are'....took a couple of pics with them and then they left. Bio...it was the first time I dozed of in Mdm Is's class. Was woken up by a big 'BANG!' at the window facing the canteen. Some kingfisher or kookabura flew in from somewhere and hit the window. It kept thinking it could fly out because of the window, so it kept hitting the wimdow pane. The whole class was in a panic, frightening the poor bird at the same time, Mdm Is told shirley to open the window on the other side to let it go. When it finally got free, the whole class was cheering like it was a some 'Born Free' show. Went for chem extra lesson later and it was quite enlightening...I found out that you just had to memorise a couple of formulas to get the answer...I'm kinda stupid...Headed home baked a cake...yes gen can bake...for my mummy and then watched some TV. Studied a bit of geog and then went out for dinner to celebrate my mum's B'day...I am not gonna eat Fish N Chips for another month or something...was so full I felt like puking for every bit I fish I stuffed into my mouth and I can't believe I actually thought I could order another plate of noodles. Now I shall go and eat my honeydew sago now before the ants get to it. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY!!

Monday, February 23, 2004

You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo


Monday...the beginning of another beautiful week. Well got back my chinese...I got a GREEN star, even if I didn't even get an A, but there were people with RED stars, oh well. Van laughed so hard at me, she was like I gave you the damn answers and you got what 60+ only...LOL. Chem was interesting, Mrs Tay was so darmn frustrated. 1 mole of aluminium oxide yields 3 moles of Al and 3/4 moles of oxygen...still don't understand...3 apples cost $1 how much do 4 apples cost?!??! WTH!! Anyway english involved newspaper reading and Mrs Alex talking about her SJI boys again. Nicholas Fang is Paul's classmate...so qiao. Mr Tan didn't come for Amath...whole damn class was cheerin' when Mr Teh was standin' outside. He's so comical...this point I put here, then I put here okay? okay? Recess was cute...went to the bookshop to buy pen refill, met erika on the way back, then we met van and carol. Van picked up on something I didn't say and it ended up a really hilarious. For the last time I did not say prego...I just said that they were inquiring as to the happiness of our marriage and prego popped outta nowhere, dunno how van picked up on that. They kept wanting to to know this prego guy was and what he had to do with erika and me LOL. Erika was like, "you married a bottle of tomato paste" *laughlaugh* yeah so now I'm unfaithful...nvrm long story (inside joke...). Bio, once again I thought I could escape art when I came to sec 3. Spent it drawing the transverse section of peanut, green bean, maize (it's a maize, are you amazed?)...blahblah...longitudinal section of pea pod blahblah... Emath, dunno managed to stay awake although, felt tired at times. Prissy and I spent the lesson arguing about whether I moved my table away from hers or she moved her table...poor Elaine...didn't wanna drag you in. Apologies LOL. Peer support was much better today...things got done as they were supposed to...about there...THANK YOU ERIKA. Headed of for tuition...went home by bus. Let's say that the bus ride was...an experience. Seemed like today was be-a-nice-Singaporean day. People giving up seats to blind people, talking to people next to them they didn't even know. I almost wanted to laugh in the bus. Never knew there was such a bright side to humanity...I'm rather happy, no make that very happy, that physics was postponed...now all I have left is SS and chinese. I just love it here!

The aunties have landed...so gen must tread with care...yes she will.

Saturday, February 21, 2004

I just HAVE to say this.
I am very sick of this, STOP using your damn family to squeeze some damn sympathetic look outta me, cos it ain't gonna work. I don't seem to see it in your actions...you spend your damn greens like how a person drinks water, you expect me to believe your shit, well guess what, I DON'T the HELL believe any of that FUCKIN' crap. I don't need to go out with someone who spends like the damn world is ending tomorrow. Yeah so I don't wanna go out, but it's not as if I'm choosin' somebody else over you, I just wanna stop there, I got things I need to accomplish in my life. TOO BAD that you missed your chance, life's like that, no one said it was gonna be fair, so how about you deal with it. I got my own problems, I don't need to know yours. How about you step right here, yeah right here in my shoes, and tell me what it feels like. Cos from the looks of it, you seem waaaaaaaay better off than me. We all go through rough patches, but we don't USE it on other people, that is just LOW. Yes I am not afraid to say it, YOU ARE LOW!!! Damn it you ARE!!! You fooled me once, you fooled me twice, but not this time. You thought you could get your way, so what you're still young, you got plenty of other friends. Maybe you should go find some other damn person who would believe your shit. You may think that I was a real bitch for rejecting your offer, but yeah that's how I feel, and yeah sorry I had to smack it in your face. Wait then again, I'm not sorry, I've takin' too much of this damn pity-me-I'm-a-poor-pathetic-soul attitude, cos it screams 'PITY ME' in big red neon letters. I dislike, no wait, disgust people who scream it the way you do. You know what else, all those times you pretended to be hurt or in pain, I just got one thing to say, don't take advantage of our relationship to invoe my sympathy. I don't know what the hell is wrong with you, but it's been one too many times and it irritates me. You got that, it IRRITATES me. If it's so painful then get outta my life. The door's always open. right there, you just gotta stick your foot out and you're free of all the chains holding you. One more thing, we may be the same age, but you know what, you NEED to know where you stand,I know you're damn happy with where you are but, don't even try to cross the line, if you do, you'll be in A LOT of shit with me, you aren't some big shot walkin' through. You may think I haven't noticed it, but I have and I don't like it. I don't like that you use your status and use it against me, against them, you may think that just because you hang with me, it gives you the right to rule the pack. You aren't the alpha male, hell you aren't even alpha male material, so STOP trying. It's getting to your head, and it's obvious. That's all I have to say. Just really pissed at something this week, but the person will probably never get to read this, just had to get it out.
SATURDAY:
finally Saturday but not a rekaxing one, one full of chaos and business. Left the house late for Novena, mum was making me vut the celery, cut garlic..blahblah. Stpped outta the gate and 156 conveniently passed by. Waited for the next one at 1150. Got on and stopped outside school to cross the bridge to take 851...and yeah while walkin' on the bridge 851 passed by. Another one came 5 mins later...tried to flag it down, but the FUCKIN' driver decides to pass. I mean yeah I'm short but I'm all BLUE...don't the hell you tell me you didn't see me. Got on the next one, made sure it saw me. Got on and it stopped at EVERY bus stop it came across, rather irritating. Got to Novena Sq then it stopped short of the shelter but the driver refused to open the door, when it reached the shelter he still didn't open it...the bus slowly inched ntill the exit wasat dead centre of the stupid shelter. Got off and had lucnh with a couple of other people. Then headed back to school to board the bus, was quiet as was rather ANNOYED with the bus episode. When I got there...I found out that I had to sit somewhere else with the other receivers, for 2 freaking hours I sat there, all alone, isolated from the whole coy as tonnes and tonnes pf boring things went by. The items by all the secondary schools sucked, except for St Nichs, I mean vigour...what vigour, jus a buncha twirling and swishing of a dress, twirling around on the cold grey floor, called vigour in the dance movements...I see, I mean everything so mechanical. The primary schools put up a better show, more life than the secondary schools. Time to receive the award came after centuries...Mrs Tan wated me to march up to Mrs Teo, I was like WTH...I mean why can't I just walk...I mean we do it everyday...nuthin wrong with that, felt so damn extra. Went for the reception with Naomi and Charmo, saw Elizabeth Choy and Mrst Tan insisted we take a photo with her...although wouldn't really say with her, she wasn't really with us (if you know what I mean) so Mrs Tan took the photo and she got Mrs Choy's side profile. Naomi found the little plastic containers of pudding cute and fascinating, she got charmo and I steal a few for her. Mrs Tan dropped us at paya lebar mrt...which we had to direct her to using the street directory. Took it all the way to bishan and then charmo and Naomi went to eat dinner, while I went home. Did some homework and am thinking of getting down to my itinerary soon.
Oh, Johnny wishes he was famous
Spends his time alone in the basement
With Lennon and Cobain and a guitar and a stereo
And while he wishes he could escape this
But it all seems so contagious
Not to be yourself and faceless
In a song that has no soul

I remember feeling low
I remember losing hope
And I remember all the feelings
And the day they stopped
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent, we are, we are all
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent, we are, we are all

Oh, and Gina's losing faith in what she knows
Hates her music, hates all of her clothes
Thinks of surgery and a new nose
Every calorie's a war,
And while she wishes she was a dancer
And that she never heard of cancer
She wishes God would give her some answers
And make her feel beautiful

I remember feeling low
I remember losing hope
And I remember all the feelings
And the day they stopped
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent, we are, we are
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent, we are, we are

One day you'll have to let it go
You'll have to let it go
One day you'll stand up on your own
You'll stand up on your own
Remember losing hope
Remember feeling low
Remember all the feelings and the day they stopped

We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent, we are, we are
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent, we are, we are
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent, we are, we are
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent, we are, we are

We are, we are all innocent


FRIDAY:
It's finally the last day of the week and I was stuck in my guides U for, let's see...11 hours...and I tell you the uniform stinks, all that sweat...okay, I'm grossing you out. Well, I woke up at 0500, got to school at 0612, and there Sparrow was and a few people putting up the flag...walked to class, came back and watched them put it up. One by one the PLs came and then we had fall in. After assembly went back to calls for Amath test, didn't manage tp finish it...I suck at sets. ME was fun as usual, with Mr Armstrong. Mr Armstrong then made a comment on how our he heard our, class was very parTIcular about proNUNciation and eNUNciaTION, 3 guesses who told him. Then Acted out the things the heroes that were given to us did,was serious but fun lesson. Chem was um...the usual, although it seemed quite short, then went to St Mich's to sell brownies...although didn't really sell, re-pegged the flag and then went back to class AGAIN. English was the best lesson of the day. Show and Tell. To a CERTAIN person, tomtoes would make a rather dry topic to talk about, esp with all the jelly driping out. Anyway, most people brought soft toys, books and stuff, but 2 were rather interesting. Debora, did hers with panties...she brought her panties for show and tell, and told us how she developed some fetish for panties...WTH...when she pass by stores she'd just automatically look at the panty store at J8...she told us why she liked each of the 6 (I think) panties. Next interesting one, was by Thu. She brought a sanitary pad and she talked about this girl who kept stealing her stuff and sanitary pads for some unknown reason, she ended of by saying "We found out she was a *beep* girl". Had Fall out after school, popped the sparkling juice, ate a piece of pizza and then headed of to investiture practise. It was rather unproductive, decided to dance to 'Toxic', but no dance steps...but I have to agree, you wanna dance to this song, need to be a bit slutty, I mean look at the lyrics!! Decided not to go for Amath, went with erika to the canteen, had a funny episode woth a uniform and Pauline...that girl is weird I tell you. Well, trained the sec 1s and then walked to bus stop with erika. In the evening, went out with Wanling and co.went to book a movie but found everything was booked...WTH...I really wanted to show my IC for Cold Mountain!!! Decided to just go for dinner, went to 'Swensens' and OMG the pricing is like DAMN ex, not that I didn't expect it, but not THAT ex. Well a stupid plate of 'Fish N Chips' 12.30...WTH...and a tiny bowl of soup $4!! All our dishes added up to $92...5% GST and 10% sc...the original price was 71.90...WTF. I took SUCH a long time sorting out the money and thinking how much each change each person got (now I know how erika feels) Looked like a moron calculating and what with, Hanying, snapping photos of me counting money!!! Walked out with my wallet so much lighter...went Wanling's house to cut the rich choco cake made by Janice's mum, deliciously chocolatey, then watched a bit of 'Infernal Affairs' quite interesting, though I didn't know what was going on in the beginning. Left at 9.30pm..reached home and was really tired...didn't wanna bath, but of I didn't I definitely won't be able to sleep. Just for fun...hmmm...for today I was awake for 17hrs and 30mins....yeah. Ciao.

Thursday, February 19, 2004

Call me irresponsible
call me unreliable
throw in undependable too

Do my foolish alibies
bother you
well I'm not too clever
I just adore you

Call me unpredictable
tell me I'm inpractical
rainbows I'm inclined to pursue

Call me irresponsible
Yes I'm unreliable
but it's undeniably true
That I'm irresponsibly mad for you

go on and call me unpredictable
tell me that I'm impractical
rainbows I'm inclined to pursue

You go ahead call irresponsible
I admit I'm unreliable
but it is undeniably true

That I'm irresponsibly mad for you


Good day, or rather evening. Chinese test was the stupidest thing ever. Van gave me some hints for it...and I found out that I did even worse than if she didn't give me any....I mean WTF...there somethin' wrong with me or what??? Okay next up was chemistry, and advice for Mrs Tay...try and I mean try not to have IT lessons please...when the stupid programme didn't work she thought I spoiled it (the programme that is...) she kept asking me if I opened excel...and there sure enough it was already opened. Then she closed the 'excel' window, take note she closed it, and reopened excel again and told me that I didn't open it. She tried to open the diskette but this pop-up thing told her that there was something wrong with the programme and she still insisted in trying to open it. I was so happy when she settled onto a conclusion that the diskette had been spoiled. Learned more vocab in english, during PC we did on homework and study skills. As for Emath I fell asleep agian. I dunno, just felt sleepy, and feel bad...although I still managed to do the sums. Bio prac was chaotic...we didn't know what was going on. Something about measuring the size of onion rings, drawing transverse sections of a cucumber (draw a circle, and another circle inside it. Draw mercedes benz sign...) testing urine samples and identifying which peron they belong to. NO we did not use real urine samples. Quite confusing todays practical. Went home with Rizka, talked about some folk story explaining why red onions make you cry. Watched some TV, went for tuition and now I should go to eat dinner and then sleep and wake up at 5am tomorrow morning. So tata.

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

I've been on the road too long
And Ive been stuck inside a song
and you know our love
has been through rougher weather
but our passion's like a rose
the season's tell it how it grows
and not much compares
to the times we've shared together

cause love
-heals everything
we're no exception
-to the rule
you mean everything
-to me

So if there's anything at all
all you got to do is call
and you know that Ill
drive 10,000 miles
Just to show you that I care
Just to kiss your honey hair
and pull you close
and hold you like a child

love
-heals everything
we're
-no exception
--to that rule
you
-mean everything
you
-mean everything
you
-mean everything
--to me


Today was another round of phototaking. Guides this time. Unlucky me had to sit in front...I've never sat in front before, considering my height. All the stupid left hand over right hand...or was it right over left, anyway and the stupid skirt pulled over my knees. Damn uncomfortable. Informal shot was more fun, it is supposed to be. Went for PE after that. More circuit training wiht Miss Liem (Lim)...can't she think of anything else. Handball was rather spastic...supposed to roll the ball instead of throw it...smart Vera. Miss Liem I can't see anything...all I see are legs...which legs are my from my team!! Poor Jessie, hope your head's better. We started a new chapter during physics today, though we didn't get far through the damn thing. My brain switched off, and yes, I was falling asleep. When I finally woke up, she was talking about todays Today paper...something about donating money to the school and how we shouldn't grumble about it and donate generously. As for how we jumped from Magnetism to donations, i have absolutely no idea. According to Prissy, something about energy saving, then to money and landing her in donations...I'm still confused anyway. A math as usual...don't really get what's going on...I'm so screwed and whole of this year is on differentiation, I'm really screwed. Why do I get ,myself into situations like this??? Went for prac later, stupid oscillation. Mrs Tang told us at 2.30pm that we had to take 3 values of small-t and average it up...and finish by 3pm...WTF...I mean nono...you could not have POSSIBLY told us any earlier. Lalala went on, then realised in part d they want time for x=0.555m...I bet you could guess what happened...and if you can't, here it is. My values did not even pass 0.5m...WTH...redo the whole damn experiment again and I even managed to finish it by 3pm...10 mins. Then, after that irritaiting episode, went for singing prac, met erika, catherine, shiying, blah, blah. I must say...they were rather quiet...well then left at 4 with erika...she made them sing 'linger' to us as we walked out, although couldn't hear them once we stepped out of the canteen. Got home did some homework, watched a little TV and studied or chinese test and now I am at home trying to remain sane as my older...mind you OLDER sister is running in and out of the dark rooms in the house screaming "IT GLOWS IT GLOWS!!!" Thanks to my younger sis who brought home a translucent cow filled with so dubious goo, plastic pink letters and glow in the dark balls. Supposed to be a stressball and a place to rest you wrist, there isn't a name in the English language for that right? I wonder...what would happen to it if I squeezed it too hard.

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

got nothing to lose this time
and I’m bored with the same old lines
I never know what to do, what to say to you
one look and you’ll knock me out
put me on the floor with a 10 count
I don’t wanna make a scene
I gotta make you see

that I’ve been waiting for a girl like you
and I know there’s nothing I can do
don’t it make you hurt
don’t it make you feel
like the world ain’t on your side
like you’re never gonna get it right
no I can’t fight
I can’t sleep at night
just thinking about you girl
I’m a fool
for you
yes I am

you been on my mind
since I saw you walking by
I knew I had to know you better
you were everything
but I didn’t know what to say
so you just walked away
I couldn’t believe what a fool I was to let you go

‘cause I’ve been waiting for a girl like you
and I know there’s nothing I can do
don’t it make you hurt
don’t it make you feel
like the world ain’t on your side
like you’re never gonna get it right
no I can’t fight
I can’t sleep at night
just thinking about you girl
I’m a fool
for you
yes I am

when I saw you at the beach
talking with my friends
I couldn’t believe my eyes
it was my lucky day
so I just asked you out
to the forum to see No Doubt
when you said you would go
I thought I might explode

‘cause I’ve been waiting for a girl like you
and I know there’s nothing I can do
don’t it make you hurt
don’t it make you feel
like the world ain’t on your side
like you’re never gonna get it right
no I can’t fight
I can’t sleep at night
just thinking about you girl
I’m a fool
for you

dont it make you hurt
dont it make you feel,

Here I am again on a tuesday evening, good evening to the reader...0745 headed of to have class phototaking, can't say I look my best in the morning, usually it's after I bath. The individual photo...how should I put this...weird. They made us sit in the most INTERESTING position, put foot up on some black block and hand on the hip, tilt your head this way and that and at the end of it all they just take the top of your body...Jessie you did well, don't worry about it. Well, the curse of being the first class, but the good thing is we missed chinese, hence postpned to thursday leaving people like me, who never study on the weekend, more time to study. Everyone's happy. Social studies passed fast this week, contrary to what I thought it would be like. Widened our vocabulary a bit during english, all the frenchie words and all that which we could use in our compo, cos Mrs Alex claims our english is kinda dry....played a few mind games (is that what you call'em) for english, was fun. Mr Tan came in to take over Bio lesson, and here we thought that Mdm Is was gonna make us all draw transverse sections of a peanut, tried to arrange remedial lesson with us but couldn't cos we wanted it but didn't have the time for it. Rather strange 5 days in a week and so little time left for ourselves. All I have to say is, we have no life. NOW we realise how busy we are...*laughlaugh* Met charmaine after school to go see Mrs Tan, but she wasn't in so she left and I met up with erika later and went around takin' attendance for peer support. After that we left, talked on the way to the bus stop. Got home, watched Gilmore girls and TRIED to finish up my homework, then I gave up and went to watch 'Becker'...and here I am now and I will be leaving to eat dinner....someone tell me why I am reading 'Fatal Seductions' it is the most horrible book ever...so much singlish it's pracitcally distasteful...and NOW I'm wondering why I'm telling you, yes YOUYOUYOU, the anonymous reader this. I better leave before I tell you anything else.

Monday, February 16, 2004

You got me lifted shifted higher than a ceiling
And ooh wee it's the ultimate feeling
You got me lifted feeling so gifted
Sugar how you get so fly?
Sugar sugar how you get so fly?
Sugar sugar how you get so fly?
Sugar sugar how you get so fly?
Sugar sugar how you get so fly?


Good evening, it's Monday once again. Is it me or do the days of the weekend pass really fast. I forgot to bring me wallet, so I went around borrowed money from my sis and got some from van. Anyway, today was a rather relaxing day, Mrs Tay came 35 min late cos she had photo taking, dozed of a couple of times during 2nd period of chem though, lucky managed to answer her qns. English was up next...now why can't we have homeroom system like barker...so much more fun. You get to walk around and mix with other people instead of sticking with the same old people all throughout the day, not that there's anything bad about the pple in 4/1 but...you know what I mean right? Never mind. Mr Tan did not make it for Amath...I make it sound like he died or somethin'...anyway, it's time like this that we realise how great and important phototaking is to us. Bio was rather vexing. Here I was thinking that I could get away from art....well spent the entire lesson drawing transverse sections of cucumbers, tomatoes and bananas. I bet you thought you couldn't hate those fruits anymore than you do already. Drawing jelly, loculus, seeds and all that stupid crap.
Peer support. Okay. This was the most unproductive session of my entire PS life. I don't care what you say, I take the phrase 'Don't judge a book by its cover' really seriously. They all look damn innocent but when they open their mouths it's a totally different story. Trying to conduct a lesson, they try means and ways to find loopholes and upset the whole damn lesson, and I just want them to sit down and listen and listen to my instructions. Is it so hard to give me 1 hour of their attention. What's so hard about it. Just sit and listen to what I have to say. The irony, today's session is on 'Listening'. I mean give me a moment's peace. I try to be nice they take advantage of that, when I get serious they're even worse...God I need help. I CANNOT connect with these people. Headed to chinese tuition later on, with great relief. Met Perry and Ethel on the way, I was reminded once again about 'International Flirting Week' which I do not want to be a part of. Missed 'Becker', got home ate dinner and finished my homework and here I am typing at the computer.

Sunday, February 15, 2004

Baby, can't you see
I'm calling
A guy like you should wear a warning
It's dangerous
I'm falling

There's no escape
I can't wait
I need a hit
Baby, give me it
You're dangerous
I'm loving it

Tonight
Can't calm down
Losin' my head
Spinnin' 'round and 'round
Do you feel me now?

With the taste of your lips
I'm on a ride
Your toxic tongue slippin' mine (Ohh Ohh)
With the taste of the poison paradise
I'm addicted to you
Don't you know that your toxic?
And I love what you do
Don't you know that your toxic?

It's getting late to give you up
I took a sip from a devil's cup
Slowly, It's taking over me

Tonight
Can't calm down
It's in the air and it's all around
Can you feel me now?

With the taste of your lips
I'm on a ride
Your toxic tongue slippin' mine (Ohh Ohh)
With the taste of the poison paradise
I'm addicted to you
Don't you know that your toxic?
And I love what you do
Don't you know that your toxic?

Intoxicated now
With your lovin' now
I think I'm ready now
Intoxicated now
With your lovin' now
I think I'm ready now
“Get used to the idea that death should not matter to us, for good and evil are based on sensation. Death, however, is the cessation of al sensation. Hence, death, ostensibly the most terrifying of all evils, has no meaning for us, for as long as we exist, death will not be present. When death comes, then we’ll no longer be in existence.”
-Epicurus

“Death his the release from all pain and complete cessation, beyond which our suffering will not extend. It will return us to that condition of tranquility, which we had enjoyed before we were born. Should anyone mourn the deceased, then he must also mourn the unborn. Death is neither good nor evil, for good or evil can only be something that actually exists. However, whatever is of itself nothing and which transforms everything else into nothing will not at all be able to put us at the mercy of Fate.”
-Seneca

Saturday, February 14, 2004

I'm 15 for a moment
Caught in between 10 and 20
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are

I'm 22 for a moment
She feels better than ever
And we're on fire
Making our way back from Mars

15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose
15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live

I'm 33 for a moment
Still the man, but you see I'm a they
A kid on the way
A family on my mind

I'm 45 for a moment
The sea is high
And I'm heading into a crisis
Chasing the years of my life

15 there's still time for you
Time to buy, Time to lose yourself
Within a morning star

15 I'm all right with you
15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live

Half time goes by
Suddenly you're wise
Another blink of an eye
67 is gone
The sun is getting high
We're moving on...

I'm 99 for a moment
Dying for just another moment
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are

15 there's still time for you
22 I feel her too
33 you're on your way
Every day's a new day...

15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to choose
Hey 15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live

Went to 'Bodyworld'. Walked in smelling of impulse and I walked out smelling of formaldehyde, assuming that's what they use to preserve the muscles. Was rather cool, should go and see it, although I feel that there should be more 'touchy' stuff...if you know what I mean. Went to J8 to eat lunch at Macs, I thought the bus smelt of that stuff till Alex told me that it's probably because the smell sorta nailed themselves to our clothes...lalalala...got home and watched audio commentary for FOtR, finished my physics TYS and then watched 'Band of Brothers' last ep....and here I am.

I dunno, feeling rather irritated, hence my vulgar streak...so damn fuckin, screwed up. I mean damn it...there are three of us damn it, in this fuckin' place STOP askin' me to do stuff. Heat this up, cook rice, iron clothes, tape this, tape that. I am only one person so FUCK OFF!!!! Ask SOMEONE ELSE to do it. LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE for once. I'm supposed to be studying my ass off and here you are NOT LETTING ME DO IT!! You take every frickin' opportunity you get, meaning when I am free to go and do something productive like do my notes, you ask me to something else which someone else can do. The girl's thirteen, she ain't no toddler no more. She CAN light a stove without setting herself on fire, I'm sure of that. If not she would have died in the science lab in school a looooooooong time ago. I may sound damn arrogant, like I'm damn indispensable but it's how I feel take it or leave it. STOP calling me ARROGANT. I have never viewed myself as a smart-ass, it frickin' hell has never cross my mind before. I DO NOT have an attitude problem, it's just YOU that has trouble dealing with my change. I try to keep my cool when you're angry and yellin' at me and you say that I'm mockin' you, what the hell do you want from me. You complain I spend too much time on the phone, if I remember correctly you were the one who suggested I take the rank. I don't talk rubbish, there are things I have to do, things I am expected to do. If you really hate it that much, think before you speak. Leave my friends the hell alone, they have nothing to do with my change, do not say anything about them, cos you know what. YOU DON'T KNOW THEM!!! You catch little snippets of a convo and you think you know them for 10 frickin' long years! That is certainly a laugh! I breakdown at times...you may not believe that is soor possible, I mean after all you are some great perosn who is capable of doing anything. I'm not dumb, I KNOW what you expect of me, I KNOW what you want from me, I'll just tell you it ain't easy and to smack reality in your face, it does happen. It's not as as easy as it used to be. Things don't just lodge themselves in there, I'm not a sponge. I am NOT some angel, I AM capable of messing up, so don't get all that disppointed, leave some for later. You know what? Do me a favour. You never bothered to pay much attention to me for what 6 long years, DON'T start now, it's too late.

Friday, February 13, 2004

Lay down
Your sweet and weary head
The night is falling
You have come to journey's end
Sleep now
And dream of the ones who came before
They are calling
From across the distant shore

Why do you weep?
What are these tears upon your face?
Soon you will see
All of your fears will pass away
Safe in my arms
You're only sleeping

What can you see
On the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea
A pale moon rises
The ships have come to carry you home

And all will turn
To silver glass
A light on the water
All Souls pass

Hope fades
Into the world of night
Through shadows falling
Out of memory and time
Don't say
We have come now to the end
White shores are calling
You and I will meet again
And you'll be here in my arms
Just sleeping

Chorus

And all will turn
To silver glass
A light on the water
Grey ships pass
Into the West

Good evening to you. Gen is tired. Gen has a sore throat. Gen needs pei pa kao, but why has the family size bottle of pei pa kao run out??? Anyway, I'll just go out and buy one sometime soon. Well today was fun...strangely didn't fall asleep once at all during class. Maybe me mom's right...too much sleep not good for you. Well march past was weird but good...was trying to slow everything down from my commanding to my little converstions with Miss Tan, and had so many people coming to tell me that ,y voice was amazing and that they never knew I could be that loud. Didn't have Amath...Mr Tan went with 4/6 for sac. ME was super...what with Mr Armstrong and his mysterious Paul, Percy and Peter, and Sally, Kelly and Mary (inside joke...) and it was supposed to be about character building, and according to Mr A. we were literally building characters. Kept emphasising how he was a humble man and that we should not talk about him as a hero. Next term CME so exciting, doing 'sex and sexuality' and he's not teaching us cos, and I quote, cos he does it differently.
Went for recess...if you can call it recess...I mean BISCUITS?!?!?! For a weight loss prog. sure but not for recess. Lucky chocolates were invented. English was lousy, had to force out some speech for some teacher who was leaving..although after I read through it, sounded like she was dead. Physics we spent connecting 3-pin plugs.
Guides...was fun today. Sec 1s were quite a handful...I must say I am a good teacher. Many fun moments, what with fighting over that STUPID rose with Erika and claiming that she was POP-ular...and that I should be glad that I was walking home with someone POP-ular. Got stuck in peak-hour traffic but got home in time for 'Becker', sweeped the car porch...now officially leave-free, cooked rice and watched some Cinderella, the one with Brandy in it...ate dinner and now I am here. Got to go 'Bodyworld' tomorrow...so excited. I shall go read now.

Tuesday, February 10, 2004

Last night i just wanted to have fun
To go out with my friends
I took my dad's car
I never taught he would find out
But I crashed in a wall
Man I'm dead
I guess it's no use
I'm screwing up every little thing i ever try to do
I was born to lose
yeah yeah yeah yeah

God must hate me
He cursed me for eternity
God must hate me
Maybe you should pray for me
I'm breaking down and you can't save me
I'm stuck in hell
and I wanna go home

Last night I had to study for this test
I forgot man I'm dead
and now my brain is bursting out of my head
I can't think I can't breathe
Once again

So what in the world am I suppose to do?
I never did anything to you
so can't you find something else to do?

God must hate me
I wanna go home


Just finished tuition...so very tired....I practically dozing off. Anyway, had chinese test...things were easier thanks to a few tips from nat *grin*...physics was good, Mrs Tang didn't show up instead we got some relief teacher so spent the whole period talking to deb, wan and hanying. Social studies was as usual kinda boring...and thakt Mrs Siow "Genevieve can you hear, if you can't got to say." like 2 times man...cos we had some pesentation going on. I was lucky she didn't ask what any of them said cos, my brain practically shut off at that mo. English was fun as usual...Mrs Alex and her SJI boys...*sigh*. During bio had a quiz...surprised I passed, practically dozed off during the test, although I think I failed my test on microorganisms. Went down to lok at trees. Saw jackfruit tree, starfruit tree,fig tree, durian tree, fishtail fern...some other weird ones too, never knew such trees grew in out school. Whole class was behaving so retardedly 'waaaaaaaa jackfruit tree' 'waaaaaaaa starfruit tree' and Carmen's 'Spring is in the air...'
Went for Total Defence prac. Went quite well, although I fouled up a few times but the last one was the best, everything was just sorta in my head, so it was good. Walked to the bus-stop with Erika and went home. Watched 'Becker' was good...what episode of Becker isn't, I guess that's why you call it a sitcom. Watched 'Grounded for Life', stupid father bought so much freakin' chocolate. Had tuition...lalalalala...and now I should go to sleep before I oversleep AGAIN.

Saturday, February 07, 2004

Glory, glory what a way to die.
Glory, glory what a way to die.
and he ain't gonna jump no more!

FRIDAY:
I'm back after a busy what, three days? I'm quite sure. Too many tests, seems to be the only thing on the teachers' minds. My arm is aching now, someone brought up something about a guy holding his arm straight up in the air for a few years...put that great idea in Mrs Tang's head and we ALL ended up holding our hands up in the air for whole 2 periods...one hour and ten minutes...Mr Tan even claimed there was a funny smell coming fom our class. Prissy we bow to you,oh great one...LOL...you have done 4/1 proud.
Went for guides later....only me and Naomi...official fall in was a big laugh. Naomi just stood there until I said 'cepat jalan'...actually she didn't do anything accept 'cepat jalan' and 'berhenti'. The whole coy was laughing at the turnout of the PLs, or rather the lack of it.

Saturday:
Woke up at 0750, did some assesment and homework then got me daddy to send me to barker. Must say we got a lot of things done in about 2 hours or so. Most productive discussion I have had in a long time, thank you Dennis. The discussion would not have gone this well without you. Frankly I think if the entire PLC turned up...we wouldn't have done things as fast. Sounds exciting from what we discussed, hope we can do it asap. Went to burger king with naomi and mj then went of to the library. Call me a nerd if you want, but you CANNOT tear me away from books. Borrowed 'Gunslinger' and 'The Drawing of the Three' Dark Tower series...been wanting to read, so I finally got down to doing it. Suddenly, I feel today has been most productive. Discussion went well, finshed homework, did a whole chapter of physics assesment and for the first time this year...I WASHED MY SHOES!!!! Yes, I did and tomorrow I'm gonna cut my hair and layer it...I hope it actually happens...I hope I actually get across the causeway. Well tata...got to go.

Tuesday, February 03, 2004

The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
It's stronger than your pride

I PASSED!!!! Yeah me passed me physics test...made a lot of careless mistakes though...should have seen the way I banged my head against the wall in class. It's a good feeling...you know....to pass physics...to finally pass it after a year. Although that great feeling was robbed of me by my failure in social studies...misinterpretted the frickin' question...yeah, so failed that one, hit by the rubber band (inside joke, lol). English was fun. As it always is with the number of times that she always digresses in her lesson...lalala...talked about 'The Scarlett Pimpernel'...LOL scarlett pimple....stupid class...supposed to be some classic and good to watch. Then had bio...always the most interesting lesson of the day, but the hardest to score. Talked about asexual reproduction and sexual reproduction...lalala...did you ever know that plant biology is so DAMN boring, nothing interesting...I mean who the hell gets excited about plants having sex...or plants having asexual sex...is that even the right word...plants thoughbeing great miracles of God...are really boring to study. I'm really sorry of you, as in you dear reader find plants having sex really, and I mean really exciting, terribly sorry...no hard feelings.
Total defence training...marched back and forth...like about 10-plus times...back and forth...practised a few procedures...again and again and again (I bet you could almost see me really bored) yeah...then about 4.30 played some basketball...lalalala...really fun, haven't had a good game of basketball for a long time. Not that we played by the rules, drew 4-4 with Naomi's team...then went home sweet home.

Monday, February 02, 2004

SUNDAY:
The day started of really bad actually. Went for 9am mass at church(where else?) listened to the sermon cos today no sunday school *sigh*, then stood up to go take communion. Walked down the stairs...lalala...then I tripped on my own foot...as in it bent under my whole weight. I stood up and it hurt like shit...I limped all the stupid way (he suddenly seemed to be standing really) far away too) to the guy, got my host...dipped it in wine and limped all the way back to my seat. After church the foot or rather ankle seemed fine, so walked to the car, and then got in. Then it started hurting like hell...I was like WTH...why suddenly so pain, I almost cried man. Then got home, rested up the ankle a bit. To tell the truth I have no idea what a sprained ankle feels like, and I don't think I have weak ankles cos that's usually for tall people...I'm not short....just not that tall (yeah, laugh if you want.).
TODAY:
Got up at 10am...yeah...went to eat breakfast. Then sat around and watched TV...don't even know what I was watching...but I can conclude one thing though. The western contortionists on TV aren't as flexible as asian ones, they are fatter than asian ones, not as graceful as asian ones, and yeah...both asian and western contortionists scare me with their flexibility. Then went for tuition...'rents drove me there 30 mins earlier than scheduled...so (call me crazy or stupid if you want) I climbed the stairs...I think 36 flights...all the way to the 18th storey, JUST to buy time.
3pm tuition finished, decided to go Johor to cut my hair (YAHOO!!!) then...father went to pur patrol...started driving...drivedrivedrive...got to the checkpoint saw the VERY LONG line of cars...my mother decided not to go...(AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH) you have no FRICKIN' idea how irritating that is...one minute she says she wants to go...and the next she doesn't, she's going to drive me up the damn wall one day. So we turned back...had lunch nearby our house...some hawker centre....ate a bowl of prawn mee. My older sis so pitiful. Her dried one had chilli and my sis can't take chilli, so yeah she tried to eat, she was sniffing and teraing all the way...snd the soup had pepper in it so not much help there. I got my mother to buy her lime juice. LOL...so comical when she eat...okay, don't laugh she so poor thing. After lunch went home, and now I am here. I'm rather happy now, adromir updated her story...legolas gonna try and fly by jumping of the palace roof (don't ask long story)...so exciting...been waiting a long time...but the rest of the stories not updating...well I'll make do.

Take me away
Take me far away from here
I will run with you
Don't be afraid
Navigate and I will steer into the sun
We will run