Baby, don't you know I love you so
Can't you feel it when we touch
I will never, never let you go
love you, oh so much

Somehow the blasted post has disappeared...
oh well...here we go again...
and baby's probably at the comp saying "I told you to save"
okay...my fault...I know...
Anyway..tuesday....TV night...CSI
weeeeeeee!
okay...I was lookinh back on my previous posts, for this year, and I have come to notice that the vocab has somewhat deteriorated and content has been rather something I would decline to speak of. Not that I have to type in bombastic words or add jargon...it's just something I noticed when I was reading them.

On to today...
I was taking the bus to work today...so happens that the 193 queue was long...as in it had extended out of its queue space and this set of people got a single decker bus. I just had to get on this bus to get to work early and leave early. Somehow I managed to squeeze myself onboard...problem being I was facing the back of the bus when the bus moved off. The bus was just so crowded I couldn't even re-orientate myself to a more stable position, so there I was in my heels, swaying as much as the crowd would allow everytime the bus came to a halt. I looked at the people on the bus...so I started wondering...which guy (yes, guy...) would stand up and offer a lady on heels a seat...and then the saying 'chivalry is dead' came to me...but then women wanted equality...so would that mean chivalry contradicts chivalry? just a thought in the morning. baby called while I was onboard the bus to tell me of his somewhat attempt at cooking cai tao kueh...needless to say the conlsion I made was that it was a disaster, but according to him the tast wasn't.

work was work...
Although I made it more bearable through reading old fanfiction while there and the typewriter made work a little more fun. What with all the trying to get the margins all the same, estimating and feeling a tiny sense of accomplishment...call me nuts but it really did. Just yesterday i was quite determined that I wanted to quit...the job had somehow become oh so unbearble. I took the calculator on my desk to see how I much I would be shortchanging myself...but when I punched in a couple of numbers...the amount of my full pay just sorta calmed me down a little...yes...the salary. So I decided to just go through teh rest of the days of work left...which is currently like 4...I end on tuesday...and then it's freedom.

I've been seeing my baby at least once a week...and everytime he pampers me so much...haha...he keeps telling me 'baby hen2 teng2 ne2 de'...and I really like it. Sunday we just went walk walking around orchard...or more like heeren and cine...told him I missed him so much so he decided that we go out and walk together a bit before he went off with the canoeists to play a bit of LAN at the e-max.

Tomorrow is my off-day and there is dance...
more stretching...more hip-hop...sounds good to me....ciao!

It's finally friday!!! YAY!!!!
I never thought I could love friday more than i already did...
anyways...work today was ab-so-lute-ly horrible, horrendous, unbearable, insufferable, tortuous, unbearable...wait I already said that.
there was nothing to do...AT ALL...the lady in-charge of me didn't come...took an off-day and since I finished what she gave me yesterday (I mean...how long does it take you to file stuff???) I had nothing to do. SO I had such a hard time trying to make myself look busy in front of everybody in the office. I looked through all the 6 arch files to make sure all the right invoices were under the correct company and that didn't last long....went up and down looking for the missing invoices...completed 3...but I needed that lady to check what can be sent in the mail and what can't....so that was left somewhat undone. Luckily for me...these people hardly stay in the office much...so I was pretty much left to my own devices for quite sometime, which was good. I napped a bit too inbetween. Another good thing was this happened after lunch, so I only had like 3-4 hours left. I surfed around a bit...read blogs...and re-read a story online to save myself from the somewhat eternal boredom.

bussed home...which was rather long....bathed and played a little navyfield and now I am here. baby went to sleep at like 7.30...he's got some race tomorrow, oh well...the HUGE majority of the day was largely wasted, what with there nothing to do, when I could have just stayed at home and rest, me being sick since wednesday.

Speaking of wednesday, that day was well spent...
morning was with baby...had lunch, then dance...auditions went better than the last one, however being selected is another story altogether. After that went to watch GoF with my baby...it would have been a rather good movie for those who've read the book, I mean they would be able to connect stuff pretty well, just anticipating what the director's vision would be in the next scene. However it lacked much coherence as I said before, it would be good for those who have read the book; one particular scene I remember would be the quidditch world cup...I mean after introducing all the playes...the movie just jumped to after the match had been played...baby got a bit lost. But then again, the books are getting longer and longer, stretching into hundreds of pages... and it gets harder and harder to squeeze significant content within a 3 hour slot. The effects and drama pretty much made up for what it lacked...so it was still rather good in the end. We went to eat dinner together and then baby sent sick ol' me home.

The pass few days has just been the usual which is work and work has been the usual...haha..
anyway, baby has been spending time with me..so my world is preeeeeeetty good now..haha
Sunday was like a whole day out...

we went out to buy mei mei a present for her birthday which was actually on saturday... baby met me after church and then we bussed to orchard and went bear hunting, cos mei mei wants a bear...yeah.
we were in centrepoint at first...but as usual all the stuff like this come at a rather "reasonable" price there.
got a bit demoralised so we decided to go eat...I had my pi dan zhou which i haven't had in a while and baby had duck rice...i took or rather he gave me some duck and i took some sauce from him and as well as a little of his soup. somehow duck soup always has this rather tangy and yet has a tinge of a metallic taste...don't really know how to describe it...it just has a rather distinct taste for it.

walked to PS dropped in on some stores to stare at things i like and can't take home with me without feeling the burn in my pocket. reached PS and then we decided since we had time to kill we'll walk all the stores we find interesting. Baby and I rather liked one...haha...more for what was in the display window. It was one of those stores where they sell house accessories like doorknobs, occasionally bathroom fixtures...what we saw was a sink cum aquarium...haha. baby was especially fascinated by it...it had the basic functions of a sink with faucet and drain....but the part which holds the basin of the sink was just hollow and converted into a fish tank. It was so pretty...haha...baby loves fish (as in live ones...) so I told him if we could have one next time, if he wanted a fish tank and it wouldn't take up too much space in the house. However I felt that the fish would have a rather terrifying time, maybe traumatising would be a better word...what with all the spitting into the sink, esp all the scrubbing of the sink when it needs cleaning, all this would be rather detrimental for the fish in it.

Walked on somemore and we saw a prospective present, a cow...it was cuddly enough for mei mei to hug...so KIV...walked somemore and saw this store with this SUPER cute bear...haha...but more expensive. now this store had some rather interesting products...haha...what with all the kinky stuff...like blow-up dolls which according to their instructions members of the opposite sex could use as a bathe tub companions haha...we then decided on the bear since mei mei wanted a one.

heehee...walked around somemore...walked back to orchard until we decided to go home...haha and then baby went to changi to meet his parents...t'was a good day and mei mei loves her bear... =) she takes it everywhere around the house with her except to bed and to dinner...haha...

I can't wait t o watch GoF...omg...haha...everyone tells me tom felton looked so hot in it...haha..esp all the suits for the yule ball..yum yum...i wonder how baby would look like in one of those...could he look anymore delicious than he already does...haha...there's dance tomorrow..yay!! Ciao reader...

well...project work is gone and now I've started working...

to comment, I somehow have started to dislike the job...I was rather indifferent to it at first, after all I have worked in an office before. The first day was pretty olright...i mean i was new, so no one really paid any attention to me...more like they just wanted to leave me to my own stuff. but this little 'ignore-the-part-timer' thingie just irks me. I mean...these people don't even talk to me in the face, refuse to make eye contact with me and ignore my presence...not like i demand that they give some undivided attention but at least a decent amount of it for an average person. I just go there...sit in my little (actually rather big chair...) type, type and type...file and file stuff...and the others just talk to each other in hokkien at the other end of the room. like wtf??? the whole day for 9 hours, that's how it goes...plus my back aches for some unknown reason, no matter how i sit in that chair. I'd rather do some waitressing job...i mean i dunno, service industry...people would most probably have at least some amout of SOCIAL skill and possible for them to speak ENGLISH, perhaps even a little friendlier. plus i'll probably be able to walk around instead of just sitting in a chair, typing ceaselessly with a tired back.

Anyway...the last week ended rather well...

baby took me out for dinner on friday...we went to fish & Co. ... at jurong point since it was rather convenient for both of us. We ordered calamari and swordfish collar so we could share...sat on the outside of the restaurant, it was like some balcony thingie...so it was nice, air-con gets too cold for me nowadays...so it was just nice and although the scenery was basically HDB flats with lights coming from windows...it was rather okay. I enjoyed it so much...haha...after that we just walked around jurong point aimlessly...i just like doing that, as in the walking around thingie...especiallysince I'm saving for now. after that he took 174 home with me, well almost...we just sat and talked on the bus.

sunday, we just went for lunch and spent a large amunt of the day exploring the new national library...looking at newspapers...he telling me about soccer, looking at diving mags...haha...then we went to explore the reference section...the video rooms, microfilm, and all kinds of books with strange titles, things you never thought could be in a book and in a library and strange titles and stuff...after that we just went home...the week ended pretty well for me...wish i could have more of this haha...

dance starts wednesday, finally some essence of activity!!

I'm the hottest thing in these streets...

today was rather good....
I pretty much just lazed around with op nagging on my mind...
church was okay...they had this really sweet choco fudge thingie at the refreshment table...yum yum...haha...after that went to that good peranakan restaurant which baby recommended last week to mummy. aunts thought it was pretty good, so i guess it is.

the day was quite boring actually, i know op is tomorrow, but i'm not really sure what i should actually do for it, as in...practicing is pretty much done...so i was just reading the script i wrote out..hopefully everythng goes well. i'm aiming for a 5-5 or a 5-4 at least...problem is projecting my voice. when i speak at the appropriate pace, i just suddenly become real soft...when i'm loud enough, i talk fast...so i've seriously got to figure this out...and fast.

gonna spend some quality time with my baby tomorrow...i'm happy...it's been a while since we have. he being real busy...i try to understand. however there are the times where i just become damn bitchy and insist on him being there. I dunno, for me i kinda need physical reassurance, like hugs, words...eh...do not really suffice, but i'm trying to make do with it all. I hope he understands me too.

going to need to head out to do pw...op's on monday...It's good it's early, cause I can get it done and over with, but can I say....too early. I just feel that there are so many things to do, too many loose ends...oh well.

oh yeah...my aunties are down and they brought a lot of stuff with them as usual, went into m'sia hari raya to go shopping and eat too...and

I CUT MY HAIR!!!!!

haha....like finally...after what...3 months???? baby thinks I look like a guy...haha...yesterdays pw was rather good...i think my group has improved way a lot and kudos to them all. I really hope things go well on monday and yeah...it happens just as I planned and hoped it would be.

Stayed behind yesterday to wait for my baby and his interview and then he came and played CS on arson's comp for a while...haha...omg...i swear, i love my baby so much, he's so good at everything...a person like that should be banned from earth...haha...the more i see, the more perfect he seems...haha...okay enough of that. Went for the interview and i had the uncontrollable urge to go SOMEWHERE but as usual we both didn't know where...and once again we were limited to my baby's schedule. In the end we ended up and clementi interchange...i dunno, we just sat on the 156 and it just went. It was a good time, although we didn't manage to do a lot of things...I thought the bus ride was good, i mean we haven't done it for quite a while...i miss it. baby headed of to NUS and I home...and to do my I&R...that piece of shit took me damn long...i just do not have a proper CLUE as to what exactly i'm supposed to do...haix...gtg eat my bf and then head out to sch...tata!!!

it's a double holiday this week...just that there's a break in between the holidays...causing a break in the holiday momentum, which I so dislike.

today has been rather productive...i mean for project work, we managed to do a lot of things. practice and improve the op and do the group presentation as well. I really hope everything works out okay, I mean the remark miss koh made about how it was so hard to even make it to meeeting expectations...it's just demoralising. maybe saying it much earlier might have been a much greater help for all of us. but i seriously have no idea why they had to moderate it until even average achievement is so hard to attain. some teachers might say that it's not impossible, but you know what that's not the point.

enough about ptoject work...it's seriously driving me crazy. i feel that i can't get my mind of it. got this interview for being a facilitator for orientation next year. I want that to work out too...i feel that i should not have much of a problem with it...but it's not wrong to have a few reservations i guess. chinese 'A's are also over...i can't say how bad it was...i mean wtf....why the hell did i study all that shit inside that file for...i mean not even a single word came out from there. why did i spend so much time writing those word, getting all worked up about how i may forget how to write it or that i might forget it's meaning? all unneccessary worrying, because it pretty much came to naught, and i guess the 'A' is as far away as the horizon is from the beach. excuse my french.

baby's gone home...I've been feeling quite upset. I dunno, i mean i feel so pathetic that i keep wanting some attention from him during this period of time. He wants to play soccer; i don't say anything, want to go play LAN; i don't say anything, wants to go home first; i know he's tired so I don't make any remarks about it. I don't want to be demanding and force him to spend time with me or make him wait fo me when he's so tired and i don't want to keep him from his friends so....yeah...he's also got so much stuff to do, so i try to understand...so i try not to demand too much, i don't want to push him away by making him do things he doesn't want to do....so i usually let him have his way. I guess i just need some reassurance and maybe words across the phone are not good enough for me, i don't know...but what i do know is i just need a hug...it somehow always seems to make things feel or seem better. do i have to pay him to give me one? would extorting one work?

maybe once i get used to not having him around, everything would be much better, but wouldn't that spell trouble? i have no idea, hopefully this whole thing turns out for the better. I don't want to loose my independence in this relationship, more importantly i don't want to loose myself in it and forget who i am...maybe i'm becoming too dependent on him? we've somehow run out of stuff to do, stuff to talk about out, places to go;we usually just end up with quite an amount of tension deciding...it just seems to be getting all weird...all we seem to talk about is games, school, do you miss me, do you love me...blahblah...nothing else much. is it wrong to say I'm a bit worried?

maybe we started off too early, maybe we don't know each other as well as i should or maybe we don't know each other as well as we think we do. somehow i'm very afraid that he didn't know what he was getting himself into, and now that he does....he might not be able to take the emotional baggage that is me and decide to pack up and leave. i'm gonna play some NF and not think about this and maybe if i can bring my emotional drive down a notch or more, this would solve itself...for better or for worse...