Today was good, met my gf and darling in the morning, chatted and was supposed to go for chem...but decided to go for SS with mrs val fam...not bad. Amath...I would like to declare to the whole world that I CAN DO RELATIVE VELOCITY!!! ( I think....) well, till qns 3 happened. The to st mike's with alex to eat lunch. Met erika and me sis there...=) plus my darling and gf.

erika: can you please take care of yourself...

had a good time...just hanging around and walking around aimlessly like it's the last day of school (although it was...). Met this girl Jillian...had good talk with her, although I'm sure the people in the canteen were probably thinking we were nuts, walking around that row of tables for more than 8 times. Walked her down the hill while erika cycled. Erika tried to cycle me up the hill, but failed, and I tried to go home many times but could not *ahem* but was super seeing the 2LL...been missing them. TGIF...I am happy. Won't you rejoice with me?

A prawn...why?!?!? For 2 years...I have been drawing fruits...banana, kiwi, tomatoes, cucumbers...and vegetables...celery, corn, french bean, pea pod...and I get a tiger prawn (I think...). Lets just say when I walked in I expected to get some awkward fruit like a...I dunno...chiku? and I see a piece of seafood on my bench and you want me to DRAW that thing...shit. It looked really pretty, like a prawn...until I had to draw the legs...that was when I delcared it a monster. Was fine...I thought the prawn was easy though...esp. the tail. I never knew there were those things on its tail...o.O. but it was good...just that I found out I mixed up urine with saliva...the irony. Gen how can the urine of a healthy person have PROTEINS ?!?!?! and haven't we established the bleeding fact that enzymes are proteins?!?!?! IDIOT!!!
The sad thing was we had to throw all the prawns away, so 41+36=77 TIGER prawns wasted...I could have had a prawn party.
anyway...got locked up til 1.30pm...saw erika havin' lit (I think...) suddenly felt like talking to her... Oh well, 1.30 came...of to lunch RY, Janice and I went for lunch at Novena...had LJS....I liked the corn....went a walking....then to home. Did english...although there were calls from my mummy...then cooked dinner...the champion (that bitch is starting to irritate me!), the OC...the my gf called =) ... was nice. Then to sleep.

I've waited all my life to cross this line
to the only thing thats true
so I will not hide
it's time to try anything to be with you
all my life I've waited
this is true
you don't know
what you do
everytime you walk into the room
I'm afraid to move
I'm weak
it's true
I'm just scared to know the ending
do you see me too?
do you even know you met me

I feel 40 kinds of sadness when you're gone.
I feel the same thing always happens when you're gone
And i know you're just around the corner
But just around the corner is not enough
It's not enough
It's not enough, I don't know why
It's not enough, I miss you all the time
And I know you kinda like it.

You ain't got to buy nothin'(it's not what I want)
Baby it's you
We don't have to go nowhere(it's not what I want)
Baby it's you
It's not 'bout what you got
I know you got a lot
No matter what you do, you always get it hot, it's you (it's you)
Baby all I want is you

She's only happy when she's dancin'
There ain't nothin' makes her feel so free
When she's dancin'
The girl's outrageous and it's plain to see

so I just typed a long entry and what did my mouse decide to do...double click...@#$%!!
As I typed...I feel happy...13 papers in 2 days...4 Emath papers, 5 Amath papers, 3 chem papers and 1 physics paper. However I am worried. I haven't touched any textbooks...yes worried I am. However TV has kept me happy...2 hrs of meteor garden ( I still don't know what I watch it) and 1 hr of the cheena show, Is it me or am I watching chinese shows...*gasp* oh well. TV keeps me happy seeing as I can't do a tonne of things right now...not forgetting the phone =), basically getting some downtime with you =). Sorry to the reader if you have no idea what I am talking about...don't let it bother you yea? Bad for you. enjoyed time with guin today...she cooks better...yumyum and mummy bought my organics shampoo...muahaha...now I don't have use dove...that damn shampoo makes my hair smell weird I tell you.
You know what? I know daddy's office is good for me...I mean no distractions and there's the net (the irony), the only place where I can access it. Although I'm not supposed to use it there cos it's not broadband, I swear i have run up the bill there and when my 'rents get the bill they're gonna go WHOA!! I tell you. Oh well...tomorrow is another day...and it will be better. =)

I was in love with you when we were younger you were mine
When I see you from time to time I still feel like that's my baby
You can see it no matter how I try to hide
And even though there’s another man who’s in my life
You will always be my boo

well...I'm back...there's OC and apprentice tonight...good TV. today marking the last day of my formal education as a secondary student, still had lessons, but pretty relaxed. Amath...made mr teh pose for a photo for us, chem...was interrupted by the exam talk, EMath...it was basically just noise, and photo taking...got more papers too...I seriously think our class is mad. I think we spent more that $200 on papers. People just keep asking for more!!! it's stupid I tell you, okay so one of the stupid people includes gen...but I really think it's stupid, okay so I think I stupid...wait...did I just say that? never mind. Got report books back, took pics with people...mrs tay just took an extremely LONG time...I mean until 2.30pm....I think the whole world had already gone home by then. I missed mrs siow again...see lar! All her fault...
feels so sad to be leaving...I mean from P6 wasn't so bad...after all it was still IJ but now, I never dreamt that I would be receiving the goodbyes...for so long it's just been me giving the goodbyes...so weird to be on the receiving end of it all.*sniffsniff* and so also ends 10 years of my IJ education.

There was something with your hair,
That makes me feel this way, and i can't help it.
It's just the way i feel inside...
There was something with your eyes,
That no one else could have... Only an angel.
Not capable of any lies

haha...mummy left the net on...haha...ot maybe she's testing me...oh well to hell with that. I just came out of the room to staple my homework and I saw the comp...and the rest is history. I feel I am neglecting my blog....nvrm
Friday night was lovely...thanks to the outside. met the 3 lovely people at long johns and then we went to eat dinner there. Met van and chris, so decided to eat with them. Had some soup courtesy of erika. talked a bit and headed for mass. Met my gf there and we all sat. Mass was fine...although I sheriously tink(I want it spelt this way) they ar...need to chain the commentator. Okay that was mean. and the singing was highly inaudible...why can't people sing? After that said bye to van and chris, and we went to bk. My gf bought a drink and erika a hersheys sundae pie...met alex and her sis , mich w, janice there. sat...flipped through mags and decided to walk. sat outside and the rest is indescribable=). 3 of them got a lift from ethel and me took a bus back. Bathed...studied and then I crashed.

Saturday...missed, winx (DON'T SAY ANYTHING!) So studied and then watched meteor garden...I swear I am hooked on that damn show...and I have NO idea why...studied more...AMath...heavenly sword and dragon sabre...dinner and studied and to sleep.

Sunday...mass...and sunday class. Okay the guy across me...was irritating me...not physically but subconsciously..he just seemed SOOO bored...I mean...okay...it was quiet...but NOT BORING. sam and I agreed...there is seriously something...either he just LOOKS bored or I don't know. Found out dennis is leaving for down under tonight...so all the best to him=)...to thomson plaza...bought stationery, another assessment book ( I swear I am crazy) lunch there...came home and bathed, studied. Need to finish laoshi's hmwk and also the homework of the chinese teacher that erika finds so sexy. Then I shall go watch the cheena show. Mummy ahs gone out for some computer thingie and we shall have mac & cheese for dinner..yayz.

Blogger seems screwed....and WTH the damn thingamajig is BLUE!?! Well we shall not care about such mundane issues O.o. This has been an exciting week. Had Amath test this morning...ab-so-lute-ly CLEAN forgot about so nonetheless I was stunned, but it turned out okay. Only had to do half the paper...gonna have to stay back tomorrow to finish it up and alex didn't come today. 3 periods of chem...need I say more...and need I say what happened tro me during the lesson? No...I'm sure I don't.
Recess...had some crunchy noodle thingie...I swear the sauce had a funny taste...sat with Nat and Abish. Headed to st mikes to get popular card from guin and met my darling and erika...made them walk back to st mikes to see me sis. Stayed there for a while and had some fun with guin then back to class erika and I went.
Class...imagine this...$109 worth of test papers flying around...no one knows what belongs to what...no one knows what their supposed to have and missing pieces...and poor Mrs Mah had to wait until we had everything settled and done...lemme tell you its A LOT of papers...Emath...had a test...was aiight...not too hard...not that easy and then to papa's office me and my brolly went.
The thing that pissed me off. Went to popular...bought my assessment book and my green pen refill. got on the bus and guess which one was missing? NO! not the book idiot...the green pen refill!!! Was liked WTF....where the fuck is the damn green pen...and what else conveniently dropped out too? the receipt. Pissed. In the midst of doing my timetable for 'O's and the will do my reflectionsa and then head home for tuition. Tomorrow will be a better day...YES it will.

gf: been missing you....nice talking to you last night see you tomorrow...=)

I feel confused, a whole lot of anger, hate and sadness has built up in me over the past few days. I feel robbed and cheated, taken advantage of. I don't know what to say, what to type...somehow...it doesn't seem like it will fade away as fast as the other times. I have to say that I am teetering on the edge...about to fall. For the first time in my life, I don't know what to do. I can't find the strength in me to pull myself up, no matter what people tell me. Easier said than done...now I truly know what that means, I wish it could end sooner, everyday seems to go by like a year, and I can't take it, why?!?! Why can't I draw out what I used to have to help me get through this, why do I feel helpless!??! I hate this feeling, it is the one feeling that I fear the most. What I do doesn't seem to work, doesn't seem to help...why?!? ! I feel like giving up, just sitting down and taking a rest, but I don't have time for that, not possible. I have exhausted myself. A part of me still wants to go on, but the other part of me just can't , no more, enough. I have never felt this way, never felt so down in my life, where is that undying strength in me, why is it I can't find it in me any longer, it used to be there...it's becoming so hard. I can't keep up. Why is it convincing myself that I will be fine used to work and yet now it doesn't? Is it really too much sometimes I ask myself...I tell myself no...I need to push myself...but I don't know, is it true...is it beyond me...or would it have been better elsewhere. The future is bleak...I fear, yes I fear...the one thing that I will admit I am truly afraid of now at this moment. I just want to cry and let it all out...but I still feel that there is still something left inside that I somehow can't get rid off...I feel like nothing will ever make it any better. For the first time I just want to hold someone and cry, just cry...that will be satisfactory.