My fingers are not as they used to be....
less nimble, out of practice...years of practice...

My brain cannot seem to manage it like it used to...too many things....

When I try so hard to bring myself to back then...I come to loathe myself for it's inability...

I drown myself in pieces I used to play to comfort myself, but I know I'm not really going anywhere. Just plain old muscle memory.

If there's anything I would really regret in life...it would be giving it up and not fighting hard enough for it...and if possible blaming my circumstances.

I need someone honest...

a friend who'll listen to what I have to say and let me know if it's just me or if it's just INSANE!!!

Cos right now...my head has this sign in red neon lights that says

INSANE!!!

P.S.: it rolls in and out

I am what I am...female

And we all pretty much want the same things...

Maybe I try too hard to act indifferent, for I cannot bring myself to demand or expect such things...for I myself cannot give.

Dear Valentine, come away with me. If I had a day with you and you only, I would enjoy the simple things. The things that bring joy to the drudgery and the mundane, the things that, in the end, when time steals the rest away, are the only things we'll remember. I would paddle you across a still lake in a rowboat and read poetry to you until you fell asleep, and I would never ever think about the hours.

Dear Valentine, if I had one day with you and you only, I would admire every line of your face, every strand of your hair, every graceful movement of your hands or your eyes or your body. If I had one perfect day. Don't you see, my heart beats only for you?

Dear Valentine, these are the things I remember, my love... A warm hand, your warm breath, your warm mouth, your arms around mine. I remember feeling safe, ceaseless, like one person, the two of us, still, at rest, entwined. I remember how I felt the first time I kissed you. It felt like... the high dive. What do you remember? How will I ever know what was inside your heart? Where do they go, all the things we think and feel but don't say?

Dear Valentine, these are the things I never told you, these are the things I need you to know... that I loved you always, and my love was so big, it lives still after you're gone. I'd like to tell you that I would do it differently, that if I had one more day I would do everything right. But I know that not to be true. I'd make all the same mistakes. That is, except one... I wouldn't say good-bye.

Happy Valentine's Day...

Being a member of this place is like working in a department store.

"the customer is always right"

you work, but you have no voice.

Perhaps it would be better not to have any.

Sometimes I can't wait to quit...but I don't know how long I would last without it.

London blanketed in snow....

Britain's capital has ground to a halt after an overnight snowstorm, the worst in 18 years, blanketed the city. Heavy snow across large parts of the UK has disrupted travel and closed hundreds of schools.

I foresee my future there in a years time...

a time spent in a room with like 5 RADIATORS!!! okay...that's an exaggeration...but a person like me not for cold...ut's hard to imagine....aaaah!!!