Monday, February 28, 2005

how can I tell you how I feel?
it's definitely not happiness, and yet it isn't sadness.
why have I never been surprised with myself? is it because I expect too much? am I wrong in doing that? is it unrealistic? is it because I am never proud of what I have? was it because I was unhappy? or was it because I didn't have the faith I ought to have had?
I hoped that I would not cry like I cried last june and prayed that I would for once in a loooooong time get what I wanted and possibly make something of myself.
I guess it was too much to ask. to put it simply, maybe it wasn't meant to be...
It feels like my whole world has collapsed. to certain people 'o' levels is not the end of the whole world, well you know what...right now it IS the world to me and yes I feel absolutely lost. I do not know what to do. right now, I just want to wallow in my self-pity ans cry my eyes out.
I may sound like a pitiful and somewhat pathetic person who right now disgusts you but it is EXACTLY how I feel. for some reason crying doesn't help, it's like a neverending pit of sadness, it seems no matter what amount of crying I do, it doesn't seem to help. 7 years of bottled-up feelings, I just can't get rid of it.
Some people say 'it's okay, you can do better next time' but right now I don't know if I can pull myself up from where I have fallen, it's just been growing so hard these past 5 years and right now I think I have reached the pinnacle of my strength and I cannot go on anymore...I'm just so tired and yet I know I need to do this alone. I don't have the stamina to go on...really, enough is enough.
with every phone call that comes to my house, digging for the same info...I feel worse and worse, although they try to make it seem that it isn't so bad, I know they're disappointed...make that VERY disappointed.


I feel like I have let the whole world around me down.


ben: thanks so much...you have no idea how much it meant to me and yeah...I feel like the most fortunate person in the world to see that you care so much for me =).


and to all the people who were there to comfort me or just hug me; erika, cynthia, thu, jeanette, 'manda, ethel...I'm sorry if I left anyone out but I all the same appreciate it.

Sunday, February 27, 2005

it's sunday...I have decided to NOT cut my nails, seeing as I love how wonderfully long they are.
I shall not blog another depressing post on what the whole world(or rather most of the people I know) are obsessing about...
I'm hungry, cold, yes and whiny. I can't for the love of god, figure out HOW to do the quadratic's assignment. WHY!?!?! I am one pissed off girl...the music doesn't work either...shit.
I'm tired too...I just feel damn unrested and I feel the need to stretch, I feel like I have been confined in a damn box or something. I shoudn't be feeling like this, it's just really upsetting. if you think BEING sick isn't bad enough, you should try being on the verge of falling sick, cos you know what, it just plain sucks. it makes you feel crappy, and you BECOME crappy, which is NOT good. if this continues...I am bound to fall sick =( and I don't know the bloody reason why.
*shakes head*
anyway...one good thing after all the venting above


I AM GOING TO CUT MY HAIR!!!

to all the people who have been around me or know me well enough, you would know how obsessive I can be or rather how I have to yearning to cut my hair, given how I just CANNOT stand the state it's in now. so yeah...will go after 5pm...1 hour more.
it's gonna rain =).

Saturday, February 26, 2005

I feel...like happy, happy high =).
today, was good. met erika at 9am, went to novena for mass and then headed to LJS to sit and talk, and talk we did. I miss talking like that, I mean yeah...just miss talking to her basically.
lunch was porridge...century egg porridge for me and fish for her. sat and ate, and yes...we talked even more...and she took 3 million years to eat...haha and she didn't finish it up. she left for home and I sat the half hour ride to cck.
a little misunderstanding...I sounded pissed, but it's aiight. met 'manda too, and we got down to the banner. yes, christine was supposed to come which took her 65 million years too...which resulted in her not coming since yeah, by the time she was about to come, we had already finshed doing the banner up. slacked....talking, walkwalk and then had some fun with ben's sis, michelle. playing games and stuff.
left at 6.30 and 67, walkwalk, bathed, cooked dinner and now I am here. opened the freezer, saw hashbrowns....took it out and did what I do for almost every kind of food that is in my house or when I buy foodstuffs. I checked the amount of fat. 1 serving, meaning ONE piece, has 8g of fat, 8G!!! of fat, I am never eating that THING!!! anyway, no one's home =), I like it this way.
I can't wait till monday, no seriously...I don't kid you. I mean, it's dragged on waaaaaay too long, although it feels like I did it yesterday. Part of me can't stand the suspense and I just wanna see what I got out of working my ass off for 2 years, the other part is just scared shitless as to what I would see on that slip of paper. I mean, too many disappointments in my life, has led me to NOT believe in myself, which I KNOW is bad, but I just can't help it. it's inevitable. I don't know if I should cry about it, cos right now I am just confused. is it worth crying about, after all it's spilt milk? will I be proud of what I got? can I HONESTLY say that I tried my best? was the best enough? naturally, if I were to cry, I wanna be cry not only for the right reason BUT for the reason that I am happy with what I got and one day when I am old and dying, I can look back and say 'damn it, yes, that was one of the bext days of my life and you know what? I worked my ass off and I got what I wanted, with just my 2 hands.' I mean who doesn't want to do that. regardless of what you do, you wouldn't wanna regret a particular action I did, a choice made or a path taken.
can I?

Thursday, February 24, 2005

what do I want?


almost seven...hungry.
I feel..happy. Like, contented. the headache is back....but thats okay.
this week's been really good so far =).
so gen's gonna put all the pretty stuff that happened right here.
Today...this has got to be one good one too...4 hours cut from normal timetable. actually 4 and a half. whole day was lectures, math and chem and then break. chinese was in LT2 once again. presentation on trip to guag zhou(I think...) guo shiong was like spacing out, ben was on a lame joke spree and yeah...everybody was just counting down to the end of it. after that, ponned physics lect (30mins larh...you wanna go?) with a WHOLE lotta people, like 18 people(?) and to play pool we went. It was damn fun...played a lot of games and guo shiong and his jump ball *shakes head*...most of the guys are damn good. yan zhang, jesse and kelvin are damn good. trevin, ben, jeremy are good. I think it's because I don't really think when I play. meaning I don't plot the paths of my balls or thik long term. I just hit what's there, but I was on fire towards the end...and I beat guo shiong 2 games in a row...haha...okay that's not exactly very great but yeah. 171 and to papa's office I went, so now I am here. gonna go home soon.
wednesday...we(meaning all those who went out last night), damn tired...trying hard to stay awake. physics prac was just damn inaccurate...like, damn inaccurate. anyway...GP was weird. somehow I...yeah...there's just something. physics lect....sara's bear and ben's dog...I mean, for the first time I was not sleepy during physics lect. kept robbing sara's bear of his sock...he's like damn hilarious larh...funk and he and ben were just passing the A4 size paper to send notes to each other *shakes head* LOL!!
Tuesday...class outing. this was rather eventful...went after pe to marina south for steamboat. Fact discovered...KELVIN L. CANNOT COOK. I swear the guy was a walking disaster. firstly, he put a whole big chunk'o butter on the hot plate and then when we started putting stuff, the oil started bubbling(duh!) and then jumping and it was making this 'pop' sound when it happened and yes I DID NOT expect him to be afraid of it. he was like standing 10m away(okay I'm exaggerating here...) trying to cook. yet, he claims he was cooking.
secondly, he puts a WHOLE LOT of meat on the hot plate...leaves it there and forgets about it. For like 90% of the time I was frying meat that I didn't put on and the other 10% ben was doing it and he doesn't even know when the meat he put on the hot plate is cooked or not. I was like taking all the meat and putting it on his plate after it was cooked...it was like a mother and her 5 year old kid.
thirdly, at the start of the meal....the woman who was serving us asked us if we wanted live prawns or crabs and we debated over it before turning down the offer and during the lil' debate, grace was like...'anything, I don't mind'. halfway through, yan zhang picked some, more like 3, from his friend's table and brought over to cook them. put one in our soup pot, one on their hot plate and one in his soup pot. seeing as his soup pot was quite full so the prawn didn't really go under and seeing it was alive...it started wriggling on the surface and so did the one on the hot plate(although it was almost half red), all this scared the shit outta grace and she started screaming and yeah...the 2 tables just laughed at her and yes, who was the one who didn't mind the live prawns...imagine if we got crabs.
fourthly, the bush fire...it was like wow...but yeah nothing big. the big thing is....*drum roll* I PEELED 3 PRAWNS WITH CHOPSTICKS AND A CHINESE SPOON. now did that make you jealous? you know it did...anyway. I didn't take long too...was quite fast, althgouh I failed with the first prawn, which ended up on the floor.
fifth, pool. I crave it. I haven't played for like, eons and I can't believe I can still play. left at 8.30 with sara and ben. was a long walk to the mrt...were talking about cars, football and just some random crap. mrt, dropped off at clementi...156, home, bath and CSI plus math homework and then 11.30 I crashed.
I liked monday's chem prac, I was like very accurate or smthg. 2.4km run timing improved...and I didn't have to go to papa's office.

Sunday, February 20, 2005

just woke up...slept for 3 hours....bad, that I know.
anyway...the storm has passed (not the weather you idiot), we're all better. at least I should think so.
finally finished watching the incredibles (yes, laugh gen hasn't seen the incredibles...I can practically hear you from here) it was aiight...I mean, judging the way people described it to me, I thought it'd be like EXTREMELY funny or smthg, guess not...but it was okay.
next thing I know I am asleep with my physics notes. if you're dying to know why I have physics notes with me....that's because I...yes ME, have a bloody physics test on kinematics and knowing me...I would probably screw it up yet again.
anyway...woke up at 8.30...couldn't wake up, so tired, yes so to church I went. sunday school was interesting...then talked about results and all that stuff and then lunch...pork porridge...YUM! then to PPWC to help mummy buy veggies. but I shall talk about the car ride...it was lecturing, about my older sis to me. all about her bf to me....and how she's being stupid...lalalala. in othere words *hinthint* to me, then she said that if I were like her, then I'd be stupid, because that just does not compliment my intelligence level...(so of course she thinks it to be high)...so THERE she said it.
rightssss...back to physics now.

Friday, February 18, 2005

Rain falls the whole night,
my love overflows just like rainwater
Butterfly on the window sill,
is like the beautiful chapter that flutters about in the poem
I continue to write,
to write my eternal love for you into the poem's ending
You are the only understanding I want



The case of the mysterious moe letter. okay, so it's not that mysterious, BUT...but it caused a damn big commotion these past 2 days.
TGIF...I was waiting so much for this. Just feel so damn tired...and it FINALLY rained. I actually, feel stupid and yet smart today. smart because I managed to solve many questions, so that may not make you feel the way I feel, too bad. stupid....(oh you're going to enjoy this aren't you...) I used the GP formula to solve for AP. Thank you sara...you have accomplished what you intended to do...just that you never knew, and you most likely will never know about it.
anyway...pe was good, I like weights...I want my own. well too bad for me. physics....I didn't fall asleep (clap!!) and so mr tan noticed too and yeah...I was just copying w/o comprehending. I suck at kinematics and always will... isn't that sad? math...I think it went well, just it takes damn long for, like the answer to hit me. chem...or should I say not? GP...comprehension was SO much better today than the last one. I actually knew what to write...
I liked the practicals this week...I didn't screw anything up at all, so I feel good about myself. chem test was just THAT...of course it was a bit better with some help =)...and math was just the usual, I fucked that up and chinese was just plain panic-stricken.
long week....short actually, time passes fast and 'O' results are coming out. to say I am not worried is a lie and to say that I am just worried is just plain sinful. I am more than terrified. HELL it would scare you too...I mean, I'm going to receive a piece of paper (or whatever it is that you get...) that is going to decide on the next 2 frikkin' years of my life and for me...it's not a matter of WHAT I get, it's how many DIGITS there are and I have to LIVE with whatever I've got on that THING for 2 years. if you still think that you wouldn't be at the least worried, than I'd say you're just lying to yourself.

Monday, February 14, 2005

shall we dance?


Dear Valentine, come away with me. If I had a day with you and you only, I would enjoy the simple things. The things that bring joy to the drudgery and the mundane, the things that, in the end, when time steals the rest away, are the only things we'll remember. I would paddle you across a still lake in a rowboat and read poetry to you until you fell asleep, and I would never ever think about the hours.


Dear Valentine, if I had one day with you and you only, I would admire every line of your face, every strand of your hair, every graceful movement of your hands or your eyes or your body. If I had one perfect day. Don't you see, my heart beats only for you?


Dear Valentine, these are the things I remember, my love... A warm hand, your warm breath, your warm mouth, your arms around mine. I remember feeling safe, ceaseless, like one person, the two of us, still, at rest, entwined. I remember how I felt the first time I kissed you. It felt like... the high dive. What do you remember? How will I ever know what was inside your heart? Where do they go, all the things we think and feel but don't say?


Dear Valentine, these are the things I never told you, these are the things I need you to know... that I loved you always, and my love was so big, it lives still after you're gone. I'd like to tell you that I would do it differently, that if I had one more day I would do everything right. But I know that not to be true. I'd make all the same mistakes. That is, except one... I wouldn't say good-bye.


happy valentines day...=)

Sunday, February 13, 2005

sunday...just came back from perry's.
but we shall start with last night, or rather this morning. I was irrtated...with my nose. no, gen has not gone insane, I said it right, the nose irrtated me. actually...had becardi last night and it was affecting me...so I went to sleep. next thing I know...I woke up, and my sis was on the phone with her bf at 1.30am and I couldn't get to sleep. so I sat up (which scared the hell outta my sis seeing as she thought I was asleep) adn went down to make tea to make myself better and to sleep I went at 2.
woke up at 7.16..changed and all that stuff and left to meet erika and then to perry's house we went. hung around for awhile seeing as there was nothing to do, due to the change of plans...BIG change. so we just sat and admired the vase of pink orchids sitting in the living room. perry left for cat and erika and I were left alone. watch a lil' cable...and yeah...we laughed at the stupidn cartoons...I mean like crazy laugh...like insanity or smthg. then we switched to the travel channel...or actually erika did and we just sat there and felt deprived. ethel came and we started cooking.
first up, mash potatoes. I peeled, erika mashed. then I cut the...the...I dunno what it's called and added the butter to the potatoes she was mashing and trying to pick the unknown food that I was cutting. I was successful 5 out of 6 times. the butter...we like put in 5/6 of the butter on the platter...yes so I say again...ERIKA you put in too much butter, but she keeps saying no...yes.
watched princess diaries 2 for awhile and then ate...it was good. there was pizza, chicken, beehoon, our mash potatoes and salad and sauces. ethels' family came too and yeah...we got port. which was um...absolutely refreshing to my taste buds...seeing as I hardly or rather have never drunk it in my life. 20% alcohol...4 times more than the becardi last night, SO erika and I decided to share as we knew we would be half gone by the time we finished our own cups.
then left the adults and went upstairs to contunue the movie, nelsie came a long too. I swear that 5 year old kid was EVERYWHERE, she was so full of energy...what with feeding the fishes and getting herself drenched in the process, climbing all over the chairs...the house was like a damn BIG playground for that little girl.
left at 2+ and then came home bathed and now I am here and my hair is messy...I need to cut it. so I have said for many weeks and will be saying for many weeks to come...until my mum decides to do it.

Saturday, February 12, 2005

yes...saturday...can you smell it...actually i don't really know what I'm talking about.
anyway..woke up at 8 and went down for breakfast...banana cake, I like it. then came the black suspicious looking thing. you know...from this we can all infer how the chinese can be so easily tricked into drinking poison..I mean is it any different from what they usually drink that is supposedly good for them? I just thought that'd be a really good question.
hung around and watched some TV...so I passed judgement to quickly on Lavender...it's actually QUUUUUUite nice. then decided to do some math before I fail it again.
ladida =)
watched more TV...some Taiwanese variety show...for the first time it was actually funny. they were interviewing lan3 zheng4 long2, da S bf. in some way it was funny, I mean his mind isn't very fast and then when they ask him a question he either has this very stunned expression or just a blank look. kinda scary too, they seemed to know a lot more about him than he does about himself, it's just weird. esp since xiao S was there so it was a bit exciting and stuff. watched another one, some kinda competition thingie...yan3 cheng2 xu4 was on it, so I decided to watch it too. there were some lame jokes too...and they were funny and yeah jerry is good at telling lame jokes, he just doesn't laugh, which is GOOD and he's quite silent when he finishes the joke, so it kinda gives you the impression that you're slow and then 'BAM!' you get it...and it's funny.
then came the MTV asia aid thingie in bangkok...although some parts of it didn't make any sense. then malcolm in the middle...then POWER RANGERS!!! omg...I swear i haven't seen this for such a long time, talk about nostalgia. I mean..WOW! tommy, kimberley, rocky, billy, aishah and adam...okay...right about now you're lookin' like this -> o.o, I don't blame you...but hey, at least they act better than the ones that are now and the'r stuff isn't like roll-your-eyes lame. it still hits home.
HOWEVER my sweet nostalgic moment was interrupted by my aunts and mum. WHY? they wanted to DL a software. WHY? so that they can DL a show called glass slippers. It was infuriating, the page was in chinese and since the did not understand a THING they asked for my help and they were like 'click that, see what happens', 'what's that do?', 'download the software' HELLO!!!! I don't know what to click man!! give me some room!!! then they decided to call my kor, who btw is back in m'sia. so yes...talk talk, yakkity yak...and then my mother was like 'kong yew...what am I supposed to click, I don't know what to click.' and if you were on the phone, you would know from the background sounds that he's outside and he's not near a computer, so it's PRETTY hard for him to help...but NO! they just wanna push for it...OMG!!! they wanna watch the whole damn series tonight. they're nuts.
lo hei...I almost went too far with her...but I pulled back, so I'm safe for now. becardi...and now I'm feelin' all fizzed up...haha and the alcohol is taking effect now.
anyway, tomorrow will be better...it should be...it WILL be.

Friday, February 11, 2005

I know the colour of love
And it lives inside of you
I know the colour of truth
It's in the image of you



I feel happy...like, I mean not happy HAPPY but happy, like satisfied happy =).
today was fine although quite laggy. pe was quite good. I think...keyword being THINK, I improved and it was kinda smart of me not to pig out on cny...although there's wasn't much to eat until last night; which was when all the food came.
math...I think it was supposed to be serious but we weren't, but that passed and it was chinese. Okay the weird video which was supposed to be about, I think feelings(?), can I say it was PAINFUL...very painful to watch...*sigh* anyway...moved on to chinatown and all that stuff and lesson ended and to break we went.
next up...physics...I'll just say it...I am pissed. Not at anyone, but at myself...why is it I just can't do it..WHY?!?! I mean I'll admit it, I'm not stupid. but when it comes to these things, I blank out and become a person with the knowledge of...a five year old. I mean...doesn't it BAFFLE you...cos it certainly does. Now I have all a reason in the world to fear my 'O' results. fuck it.
then chem...we're just very slow and behind time...GP, poetry composition. I think ours turned out okay...yeah.
met 'manda and to IJ we went. saw erika...and she made my day, man i miss that girl...hung out talked, laughed all the crap. left at 4.30 and to orchard I went to meet my 'rents and aunts and then walked around a bit more...then went to KAP, bought stuff and home we went. watched sun wukong for like 15mins and then bathed and now I am here.
it's a short week

Thursday, February 10, 2005

I want to just hold your hand like this and not let go
Can love be forever innocent without sadness



I have changed my skin...quite similar to the last one, but brighter than the last.
well, my aunts are here. went in early this morning to meet them in JB. Although there was the problem of locating them, seeing as JB is quite vast and to find one blue toyota car is like...DAMN HARD!! I mean being stuck in a car where both my parents are frustrated and pissed isn't exactly the ideal situation you'd like to be stuck in...it's ANNOYING!!! After much, um...annoyance, just decided to stopover and ask THEM to locate us.
met-up and then went to eat brunch...dimsum...A LOT of it. I never thought I'd say this...but I'm quite sick of it...officially. then went off to do SHOPPING!!! I hate this part, always have, always will. It's damn crowded larh! everybody is like THERE!! and the noise just irritates you A LOT. I don't know how to describe it, but it's frustrating. went to the food court downstairs to have a drink or in my parents, aunts and sister's case, have ice kachang, had rojak too. although I wasn't very much up for it.
I remember it was 2.30 when we were done...next thing I know, we aren't coming back into Singapore for dinner, but having it in m'sia. okay that's fine, but the worse thing was, there was NO PLAN to pass the time. I mean my mum and my aunts were just planning to SIT there for 2 and 1/2 hours just talking and all that crap. OMG!! I can't do that...my older sis, dad and I went to the car and slept in there for awhile...more like 45mins...smthg like that. watched my dad sms-ing away..and then we walked back down to the food court and it was just as we left them. My younger sis doing here Emath TYS and my 2 aunts and my mum just yakking away.
5.00 came (thank God!!) and we left for the restaurant. Was a nice dinner, you know chinese dinner. of course not forgetting shark's fin (hehehe...) and yeah, I finally know the proper way to peel prawns with chopsticks...mwahaha!!! they had a lion dance in the restaurant too...noisy but, yeah aiight by me. My older sis was damn fascinated with the ears and how damn cute they are or smthg.
drove home, cleaned out the shopping from the car and now my kitchen is OVERFLOWING with stuff seeing as the cupboards and refridgerators are all full right now.
watched mulan...can i say I love mushu...I mean..yeah...damn funny. okay, that so convinced you and now I am here. gotta go to school tomorrow...and there's pe. crap. anyway...but tomorrow's FRIDAY!!! yeah!!! okay, you can so feel my ecstacy flowing from your computer screen. whatever, have fun and a good night.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

if a rose can bring you a day of smiles,
I'd give you all the roses in the world.



first of all HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR to all. yeah...I liked today...very relaxing.
Slept late last night reading so, I slept in. Actually I woke up at 7.30 but decided to sleep for a while more, which turned into 3 hours more.
breakfast was dimsum and glutinous rice in lotus leaf...and then watched this circus show thingie. mummy was going on and on about how fascinating it was and how strong and...(you get the picture) then changed and decided to go out for a while.
this was weird...headed to orchard first. all I can say is, it was empty. there was practically, techinically, or rather almost NO ONE there, but of course one of the reasons being that almost ALL the chopping centres were closed...I mean reasonable seeing as 75% of the population in singapore are chinese and stuff. so we headed down to chinatown. same situation...everything being closed and few people on the streets. seeing as there was no where to go we headed home, on the way dropped by cold storage at KAP to get MORE dimsum and had another serving of dimsum, but for lunch this time. on the way back, passed the 7 eleven near my house and boy, there was this damn long queue outside it, supposedly all wanting to buy toto, 4D...whatever, but the queue was damn long, like LONG!! funny thing is, if you put the 2 pictures together, meaning the empty streets ans the long queue for 4D you get this. which is, the streets are empty and the stores are closed because *drum role* (DO IT!!!) EVERYBODY IS OUT BUYING 4D!!! -_-...okay it's cold but I thought it was funny.
after that just sat in my room listened to some music read a book and then slept for a while. woke up...watched more TV. chinese show..I think it was wo jia li you zhi he dong shi. I thought it was nice...as in touching and all that stuff. had dinner later...a really weird one. fries, salad, and ham yeah...um...hard to picture but that's what it was. bathed and now I am here. my aunts are coming down tomorrow, gonna meet'em halfway, go shopping (NOOOOOOOOO!!!) and then have lunch.
This chinese new year is just weird...I mean, it's quieter definitely, and I like that but it's just weird that you don't see a lot of people, unlike the past few years (this being the case for my father's side). I mean people whom you don't know and when they say things that you don't understand but according to your parents they're related to you (somehow...) and the annoying sounds of children screaming and crying and fighting over some electronic contraption that baffles you as to how it could fascinate them so much that they would have to fight over it...yeah, sure you understood that sentence. not forgetting all the comments "wah! zhang2 da4 le4" (grown up already?) or "zhang2 de1 zhe4 me2 da4 le4" (grown so tall) or for my case "wei4 shen2 me4 zhe4 me4 shou4, ying1 gai1 duo1 chi1 ma1!" (why are you so skinny, you should eat more) and you just smile and nod and to you, you've never met them before. of course there's all the hongbao. plus my grandma makes damn nice, yet unhealthy meals and all the cny goodies and stuff...not bad larh. for my mum's side, I miss my kors too...wanna go and see them and talk with them. although when we meet up, there's nothing much ot talk about and we just sit there and have the usual greetings...I mean yeah...just wanna see them. to some extent good but yet, the atmosphere is lacking in what is supposed to a really noisy(shit I can't find the rod for it...) occasion. at least it'll be a little better tomorrow and noisier when my aunts come down and I'll actually get to pig out. shit...that's bad. I can't wait for friday...no idiot...not because of school.


you're gonna keep that tongue in your face tonight!

Tuesday, February 08, 2005


heaven in a cup Posted by Hello


3 eggs separated
1/2 cup castor sugar
250g (8 oz) mascarpone cheese
300 ml ( 10 fl oz) cream
2 cups strong black coffee, cooled
1/4 cup brandy
1 packet (300g/10 oz) large sponge finger biscuits
50g dark chocolate, finely grated


put the egg yolks and sugar in a bowl and beat until thick and pale. add the mascarpone and beat until smooth.
beat the egg whites in a clean dry bowl until soft peaks form, then fold into the mascarpone mixture.
beat the cream until soft peaks form then fold into the mixture.
combine the coffee and brandy in a small bowl. dip the biscuits, one at a time and fairly quickly, into the coffee and arrange over the base of a 20cm x 25cm shallow dish. top with half the mascarpone mixture.
repeat with another layer of biscuits and cover the remaining mascarpone mixture.
cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for 4 hours. sprinkle with grated chocolate before serving


serves 8-10

Saturday, February 05, 2005

Don't have to spend a dime
I just want your time



Saturday...I did many things.
so...woke up at 9.30, amazingly o.o and went downstairs for bf =) roti prata. I swear I savoured every piece of it...tearing tiny pieces and dipping it in curry...can i say heavenly?
Chores...yes, I either do homework, got to my father's office or do chores...does that suck? wait, is that a trick question? anyway...hung up the washing, washed all the standing fans in the house and then went to sweep the car porch, which I am proud to say is officially leaf-free at the moment.
bathed, for obvious reasons and then washed the box of mandarin oranges papa brought back...48 oranges (YES I counted!!) and put'em in the fridge. All done by 12.30pm.
Got down to homework...mummy bought lunch, wantan mee. she just couldn't find the hokkien mee stall...and I had a serious cravfing for it too!
helped mummy clean-up the house, more to lifting stuff for her. then watched TV while doing wiping all the glass shelves in her room. That took damn a lot of effort and time...she's got 8 shelves and I'm short...get the point. I pity you if you don't.
continued watching tv and now I am here...was planning to fight for the bathroom with my sis...but decided to let her be.
Can I say I have a weird feeling in my gut? it's tempting...but, HO HUM!!

Friday, February 04, 2005

Why do you ask him move heaven and earth
To prove his love has worth
Would he walk on water
Would he run through fire
Would he stand before you
When it's down to the wire
Would he give his life up
To be all he can
Is that, is that, is that
How you measure a man



YEAH!! it's friday...that means it's good.
Just came home and bathed...so I'ma feelin' good, I think I smell nice...haha. Okay, shuddup!
gen's gonna cover the week, so sit tight and read...yea? good.

today
NO DANCE!!! I can't believe I'm saying this but I feel happy about that.
PE...more Bball, GST...but it was better. break, stayed in class and hung around. math...more sigma notation...and then chinese.
Watched 2 videos. one to do with cny traditions the other with chinese medicine. laoshi then told us about the many things that chinese people in china (-_-) love to eat alive...chinese have weird habits, we really eat almost ANYTHING!!! break...yong tau fu, I liked my choices today, tasty. to class to listened to music and I discovered that jay chou actually sounds good on some songs.
Physics tuitorial...kinematics...sleepy. frankie was practically dozing off and almost falling off while leaning against my chair. She wrote on her notes "is this working?" (referring to the pen) and i wrote..."yes, WOW!! WHOOPEE!" and we just laughed there. okay...so you think it's damn lame, can I say we were desperate?
chem...spent it mostly on potluck and then did a brief summary on AMS.
GP...test. I blanked at the topics...started on the one to do with violence and I got stuck after half a page of writing. switched topic to the one with old people. Now why didn't I think of writing that before I thought of violence? rightsss...
Council meeting and then back to IJ. YAY!!! saw ethel...missed her and my perry just wasn't there, SAC. was olright...the sec 1s are quite okay from what I've seen, participative. all innocent looking and whatnot. watched the marching, TTD preparation....RC is blur...I dunno how their gonna pull it off, I mean if RC are really like THAT, I would rather the guides do it on their own and a march pass is so much more impressive and stuff. Although i have one question, why do we have a frikkin' _________ someone tell me HOW!!! this is damn warped...we didn't even drop to ________ it's like flat all the way to the bottom...SHIT!!! I'm damn shocked...and we are partly at fault, damn it.
Hope can come back for orientation...wanna see them and _________. hope erika can make it. dunno if ________________...how _________ it would be.
left at 6 and to my horror met TYM at the bus stop and yeah she got on 156 too!!! WTH...she got off at HI, I think she was avoiding me. Got home and bathed, cooked dinner and now I am here.

thursday
Long day...5.30. SDP...talking about morals and stuff, then math and chem lect, break...and then chinese. cloze passage...nothings changed, I still suck at it. Physics lect...it's almost impossible to stay awake...I dunno just not able to...kinematics. Physics tuitorial...break...math again. mrs koh really should wish she had us in the morning. Our hyperness comes from out tiredness. We are practically abnormal. Chiong wei again...reason being waving. Got sent out and was told to wave at everyone who passes by. *sigh* can math get anymore fun...haha. chem pract. I was absolutely crappy. First I put the correct solution into the burette at the wrong time, had to get another one. this burette lets out solution damn fast...missed the reading twice. Almost finished my standard solution. second titration was better, but I missed the reading once. it all worked out in the end. make-up prac on monday and home I went.
Watched sun wukong...bathed, work, the phone rang...talked...dinner...and the phone again. 12...to sleep.

wednesday
GP, miss wong didn't come, so we were stuck with this um...pudgy teacher with rectangle, black plastic rimmed glasses. She's um...damn jumpy...I mean, if you talk her eyes sorta shoot towards you and watch you until you stop, damn freaky. yeah, so we had to summarise this damn article on single motherhood happening in Copenhagen and write reflections and ask or rather write down 3 qns. I didn't finish the last qns.
break...1 hour...I seriously think that's bad...I mean...there's not much to do. Unless you haven't finished your homework that is...but then again it's good. The people can plug the music into the speakers and listen. Music is good
chem lect, chem tuitorial...got back the CA...wasn't surprised, what with my panic-stricken state during it.
math...whoa...this was fun. summation notation, sigma notation if you wish. we're always damn hyper during her lesson for some reason, some of us tend to be attracted to what goes on on "orchard road" in class, which absolutely irritates the hell outta mrs koh. She get's damn exasperated...OMG...you have to be there to see how damn funny it is. It's like this small figure, waves her arms, shouts and points to herself and says "LOOK HERE!! HERE!!! NOT THERE!!!". yeah and the pinnacle has to be when trevin and chiong wei were sent out because they made that sound...you know the sound guys make when the pucker their lips and call one another (nvrm if you don't get it...I mean I can't possibly give you an audio preview right now) she made them do it facing each other along the corridor while everyone walked pass...imagine it and laugh if you wish, cos we were while watching.
physics prac...electricity...everything's DIGITAL!!! except I couldn't tell the ammeter apart from the voltmeter, just know that one's smaller than the other. but hell yeah...I love electricity!
After school, X-country. practically the whole of CJC packed themselves onto 132 and 156 to get their ass down to macritche. started at 4pm, guys 10 mins later. I think I did good. 4.2km in 30mins...although didn't hit my target of 20. actually come to think of it, I was kinda slow...the guys were already coming when I was reaching the end of the race, I didn't tire too easily this time so wasn't too bad.
prize presentation and off to dinner. jeremy, jesse, hendrick, ben, dalton and me...the mistake was NOT taking a bus to J8...and choosing to walk instead. OMG...I swear...the shrieks they were making (would you even call it SHRIEKS!??!) it was torture. We walked for what...24 mins...and they weren't sane for a single moment. Went home at 8 and did a little work and to sleep.


tuesday
right...2nd longest day with lectures every few hours, damn tiring. can't remember much at the mo. As usual math was the funnest, I mean we're just not normal during her lesson. we get damn hyper or smthg. PE, Bball, not something I usually play, and even then I suck at it but it was a damn fun game. Hung around until 5 and then to papa's office I went.
hmmm...I really DON'T remember much...


erika: call me to confirm and yes, I'm always here for you. call me...cos I dunno when you're working and stuff. I need to tell you something too.
'manda: thanx a lot...LOL!