This feeling has come one time too many, you would think that it should feel familiar.
It could just be the usual plunge that I often get in a month which causes me to overanalyse or go into this depressed mood about my future and rather low self-esteem.

My chronic worrying is a curse, a curse I wish everytime that it would go away. The things I worry about and the feeling of despair that comes along with it, is just something I feel no person in this world would ever understand.

Hence the loneliness I feel.

Whenever I feel I have found myself, I only lose it to start all over again. I always pictured or rather viewed myself as strong and independent, am I wrong? I always thought I could handle anything thrown at me. Maybe I think too higly of myself? Maybe I don't even know a single thing about myself? There are days that I wish I could sleep forever, with this thought, I fear one day I will just break down and descend into this huge hole called depression, only to never crawl back out.

Maybe it's his way of saying to me that I can't do this on my own and no one in this world can help me the way he can. Maybe he's intentionally trying to break me down and build me up. I don't know. For all I know, I have come all this way, only to know that I have come down the wrong path.

I'm just lost.