Who let me love you
Who let you love me

I'm finally home!!!
yay!!!
i have never wanted so much to wander around my own house, sleep in my own bed and sit on my own sofa and watch TV...
haix...everything seems so much better and i feel better...
haha...
i still have things to do...but i think i will enjoy myself with baby tomorrow...we haven't seen each other for more than 2 weeks...from what i recall, the longest we've been apart is like 3 days??? so yeah...i just wanna see him...hug him...make sure he's still real...
ciao!!!

Just bring me things that I don't need
Cuz now its Christmas and I want everything

merry christmas to one and all...
yesyes....
today started off well...
went to some restaurant for high tea...
it was good...although i don't really know why...i didn't talk much...mostly fooled around with my cousins, haven't seen them is a while...we were like playing with each other's phones, playing with his digicam...talking
the food was good...although there was this huge momentary pause in the food flow. apparently they were understaffed so they, um....for got about us? or to be nice...got too busy. after the food started flowing again...everything was fine once again. I was like damn full...and then they ordered like 3 out of the four desserts...they were nice though...i liked them. then we went shopping
that was bad...terrible more like
my cousin took us to KLCC, cos he knew we wanted to buy stuff...however my mum was quite unwillling to spend...i didn't mind that cos we are on a tight budget, what pissed me off was that i had stuff to do and an aim in mind and they were just wandering from place to place aimlessly and getting lost in the crowds causing us to have to wait for them to re-join us. i know i may sound like som damn mean bitch and i should wait cos they're my seniors but i had something to accomplish and they were just dragging me down.
next was this place where they sell all this imitation stuff; shirts, shoes, clothes, bags, you name it they got it. saw a lot of nics stuff...but the shoes...some were absolutely outrageous. everything started out fine, but as time went on things got bad...again. my mum and my aunts ust got into their own little world and just walked around..stopped occasionally and moved on. it's like i didn't get a chance to see the stuff at all...the plce was real crowded...like shoulder to shoulder crowded, so we had to keep up...needless to say i got pissed. she even scolded me for asking for sizes for a shoe...cos she said i should have asked for the price...oh well...that was bad...then went to giant...spent some money and then came home bathed...ate macs for dinner and now i'm here. going home tomorrow...
which is good...
my aunts are just so critical about everything...
i hate it...
i dunno how to express it...but it just makes you feel very unhappy when the comment about things...oh well...
i dunno...i feel so lost now...

is it too much to ask?
all i want for christmas is you...

today was one ab-so-lute-ly disgusting day that i for one hope will not EVER repeat itself...

woke up at like 7am...then rushed down to the stupid place to re-do the ic and we reached our destination to find an extremely long queue, extending out of and to the back of the somewhat large building. The length of the queue itself was disheartening...as we could just see ourselves standing out there for 65 million years...i mean after all...I'm quite sure m'sia is quite well known for it's efficiency.

the queue started moving quite fast, so we were optimistic. when we finally got into the building word of mouth was they had run out of numbers...wtf. so we rushed of somewhere else...and that place had run out of numbers to re-do the IC...we landed in putrajaya. we got a number...yay...600+ more numbers to go and it was a friday...meaning the people have to go to the mosque...meaning everything would stop running, according to them from 12.30 to 2.45...so we obviously had to wait until 2.45....

the wait was absolutely torturous...omg...waiting for 2 frikkin' hours for it stuff to start running, it was cold, and i was sleepy, bored and did i say sleepy??? i did...anyway, everything started up again at 2.45...with like...500+ more numbers to...omg...we were ther until like 7?? i swear...malaysia needs to know something called EFFICIENCY!!! wtf...a whole frickkin day wasted..when i could have gone shopping and stuff...

what made it worst was like the people there...omg..the kind of people you see there and what they were wearing. some of the women in the tudung looked nice, actually pretty...but then some people should not squeeze into clothes one size too smaller than they actually are, it was absolutely uncomfortable to look at. the children were even worst...i distinctly remember this girl in her imitaiton heelys...skating back and forth in front of me...irritating the hell outta me. I was just wishing she'd fall on her face and that would teach her to sit down. each malay ( i say malay cos it was predominantly malay in there...) family had about 4 kids...and imagine them all running around screaming and crying....and the parents just sit there and not do anything. like wtf...if you haven't noticed your kids are being an absolute PAIN!!! there were even kids walking around BAREFOOT in the wet toilets...like why would you let your kid do that!?!? it's disgusting!!!

everything was done at like 7pm..went for dinner, had pi dan zhou...then went to meet my cousins at 'the curve' for shopping. didn't really shop cos it was already so late...everything was pretty much closed...so we're going again tomorrow...to somewhere else cheaper. and now I'm here....been feeling so tired recently...hope I'm not coming down with something...

christmas is lonely without you...

dum di dum....
woke up at like 9.30 today....
wanted to go for dance...but then was too lazy and stuff
so i just hung my stuff out to dry and folded all the clothes and um...bummed around for a while...
baby called...i was so happy to hear his voice =)....i miss it...haven't heard it in a while...haven't seen him in a while...=(
anyway then later boarded the bus to get to malaysia...
the ride was good, comfy...had really big seats...tables.... with the exception that it was too damn cold...I brought a sweater, wore it and I shut the air-con vents but as one of the flaps (it had 2) of the air-con vents was like...ripped off? so cool air was still blowing out and i was freezing. I kept thinking about an extra jacket which my baby always gives me to cover my legs like in lectures or just to keep me warm...made me miss him even more. they had a transit movie too....rat race...nothing fantastic..but I haven't seen it before so it was olright. the service was good too...we had like chicken sandwich and one of those packet cup water thingies....

arrived and around 9pm and my auntie took me to some place...cos she said my luck next year for dragon(my zodiac...) isn't good which is devastating cos my 'A's are next year...but then one should not be controlled by such things I believe. the place was crawling with kids...they were like, running out of rooms like bullets...like priare dogs...absolutely terrifying. my aunts gave me this hong bao which they put in a basket at the altar and then I knelt in front of it with this big yellow paper in my hands...then the funny thing happened...the lady which was supposed to do the stuff started talking in cantonese, didn't realise she was talking to me until a while later. what's more, with my limited ability in talking or understanding cantonese I looked like an absolute moron. then the woman realised after saying it a few times that I didn't understand said...boy or girl?,,,,then I wasl like ....uh, girl...then she like pricked my middle fingers with a needle and then I took ths whole stack of papers they handed me and I burnt it...they gave a me a fruit i'm supposed to eat and we went off to my cousins house to see their new dog...well not exactly new, they've had her since august. she's a mixed laborador, so cute i tell you....so shy...haha... =) talked a while there and then we came back...and bathed and now I'm here typing

will be here until boxing day...miss my baby so much...
miss his face...hands...oh well... =(

I'm back from camp...
so tired...
and I need to travel tomorrow to malaysia...
I am still damn pissed about that...
anyway, I must tell...haha...the best thing about the camp was these two sec 2 twins...omg...I thought they were so cute together haha...they're like total opposites, in terms of behaviour and charcter. the older one, daryl, is like a ticking time bomb...omg...he was absolutely playful, didn't like ti do whatever I asked and was like your typoical sec 2 boy...haha. the younger one (by 4 mins), darren, was more participative and he was willing to play all the games and even do the gala night shit and he was much more capable of sitting down somewhere to get down to work...I dunno....i just thought they looked so cute together. There was a game we were doing where they were trying to find out who had the highest forhead amongst a selected group people and these 2 twins happened to be there and everyone kinda asssumed they'd be the same, but daryl's happened to be 0.3 cm higher...how cool's that?

the games were rather okay....it mostly consisted running long distances...across the park, campsite...singapore...very taxing...tiring and my stamina really sucks. my team didn't do so well on the first day but we picked up a bit on the second day and games today was rather well done, except the gala night sucked...haha. The people were not that great, they had good intentions but, I felt really uncomfortable around them, except for the bunch I usually hang out with and a few others I managed to get to know. All the jumping during worship, making people pray out loud...altar calls, in a way it was being forced upon us and I felt that it was the wrong way. I mean you worship god in whatever way you deem is comfortable, other people don't set that for you.

the talks were relatively okayl...the first day's was fine, talking about rekindling the love for god...buyt todays suddenly deciated to sex and BGR. I mean the pastor was saying...if you don't intend to get married don't date...but if you are then give it about 2 years, meaning if you wanna marry at 21, start dating and 19. To me these things cannot be destined...you can't time these things. You cannot explain stuff like this, cos somehow you will just know if he/she is the one for you, it's indescribable, you can't time things like that. The one on sex was alright...I mean people, esp those of our society are rather conservative, it's sorta taboo to speak or question it , and he was saying god created sex so it's supposed to be a beautiful thing shared between husband and wife...it is us humans who have made it what it has become today. but I still can't get or reemember how we got to that issue.

gonna be travelling tomorrow...
so tired...I wanna add somemore...but then you wouldn't care to read right?
and I'm so tired....
I miss my baby so much...we haven't seen or heard much from each other during what's going to be 2 weeks and 2 days of no communication between either of us.
I miss him so much...I wanna hug so bad... =(

Dance with me, make me sway
Like a lazy ocean hugs the shore
Hold me close, sway me more

it's friday already...
which means i'll be going off for church camp....
aaaaaargh...
maybe I should be a nice person and comfort myself with nice thoughts..and tell myself right now that maybe it's not going to be so bad, after all there are so many nice people there and we're all going to have nice good clean fun together...we shouldn't jump to conclusions like this...
yeah right...
today was nice...no one at home...nice to be all alone, just reading...doing what I wanna do. No one talking, no one I need to talk to, no unnecessary noise...it was a good day. I even had a nice nap, until my sister came home and switched on the bloody television.
let's see, I ironed the clothes needed, dried all the clothes from the washing machine, fixed up the pole in the room downstairs...haha...I am an absolute genius...haha...I am unstoppable...I've even finished HBP...
the things and number of things you can do uninterrupted...

when I stepped in the room
I bring the heat like the month of June
crank the volume make the bass go boom

well...today's been fun...
no dance until next week, which I am not in Singapore for...hmph!!!
I swear this holiday is super screwed or something...it is absolutely upsetting...
I mean I have NO idea how they talked me into going for church camp, cause I was never up for it and I'm seriously not into that kind of stuff. I mean I go to church worship, there is a God; I acknowledge him...and maybe a bit more, but i don't go into it so much. Now I'm going to be gone for like 4 days...4 FREAKIN' days with these church people 0.0 the horror for me. Due to this I can't go to ethel's on the 20th...and i'll be missing full dress for dance on 21st....AAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!

As if all of the above was not enough, I have to go back to malaysia on the 21st, in the evening, to re-do my damn malaysian IC. They got this new smart card system and you incur a 50 buck charge (not sure if it's ringgit or sing dollar). SO I'll be there until boxing day....-_-...and I DISLIKE going to malaysia....hopefully when I get back everything would be so much better. Hopefully I can go out and spend time with some of the girls and shop...

I may regret that i wrote this one day and go 'what the fuck was I DOING!?!??!' and yet maybe (hopefully not...)i won't...

I'm seriously pissed.

I have no idea why..maybe I shouldn't be cos I'm suppose to tolerate ( is that the word for it?) it, but I don't give shit anymore. how 'bout I just do my stuff and you do yours and when you feel you're like done over there then tell me, cos seriously...I feel like some idiot. I said it before...cos I really don't feel like aniticipating something to happen and it just DOESN'T! sure it's not like you told me, but hey...that's the way I function. take it or leave it.

I'm just pissed, I really don't get this...I cannot take this anymore...I won't, can't believe it. To me, it's virtually impossible...I don't know HOW to describe it. just forget it.

whatever.

That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long

I have truly come to know what it really means to be in a daze....
I just have to be doing things this week...if not, I think about things too much...
even reading helps...still got math to do though
I want to go out with people or person...when I mean go out, just to go walk, sit somewhere and talk stuff; girl stuff and catch up or even speak of mindless things. Not really in the mood of spending money till I see something I need. Being a bit stingy, esp since the working stint is over and the cash is for the next year.

I need to see the ij people...I miss them loads, can't explain it but yeah, I just do. I just cannot believe how busy this time can be, seems there's not going to be enoungh time for me to do all my things. you see, I 'm an absolute worry wort...however, I worry a lot about things ten years down the road instead of what's happening now. I do worry about things in the present, maybe just not as much, maybe i do...just that when I start to think of it, it just runs ceaselessly through my head and refuses to give me any ounce of peace. worst thing is I just don't seem to know what to do about it or what to do first if there are many things.

I just think that the year is ending too soon...I mean next year it's the 'A's and I won't even know if I can catch up like I did this year. I did catch up and I improved...okay...but THAT is not going to be enough for the 'A's. I won't even know if I'll be able to absorb all the chapters and this years' stuff. I won't even know if baby and I will have time for each other...both leisure and have study time together just like we did this year. Sure it would be less, but how much???? I won't even be able to know so many things!!! The future is ab-so-lute-ly UNPREDICTABLE and i'm scared....yeah scared, maybe terrified...a bit into terrified, maybe more?

I don't understand this...
why is narnia coing out on the 22nd when it's coming out on the 9th in malaysia and possibly all over the world?!?!?
I've been watching the trailers and omg...it seems that this movie might actually do the book some justice. Although it is a bit lord of the ringsy...but it's ab-so-lute-ly BEAUTIFUL!!!! i mean the screenplay is just so wonderfully done. The characters are beautifully cast; the white witch is beautifully merciless and her beuaty is so cold....and the pevensie children are just what the book described....haha...the animals are beautiful as well...I particularly like the wolves, the griffin and maybe the centaur as well. For those out there who haven't read them, I seriously highly recommend it and if you've read the lord of the rings, you should read 'the chronicles of narnia' by CS Lewis. There's another genius for fantasy. If only there were more good writers in the world....

my handphone's been a bit lonely...

It's late...
I'm actually tired, but somehow I just thought I should just drop in here...
my ankles hurt...so does my back...argh...3 days of dance straight...
sit-ups, crunches, push ups...stretching...but it makes me feel good...haha
We did good today I think..blocking and stuff's all out...just need to clean...which took like super long today...
I mean we just took damn long just to settle something...or rather so many things, but it was olright...
then headed to baby's to spend time together...had dinner, watched 'meet the fockers'...I mean what happened to moses, the dog which humps everything that moves...haha...and I wanna try a tom collins...it looks nice...

after that we decided to watch the tab tv episode on teen sex...wasn't the best thing I've seen. I mean the show just seemed to lack content. It just seemed to throw you these stories where the point would just be people having sex, sex and guess what? MORE SEX...HELLO!!! It somehow does not even bring across any particular message at all. I mean yeah, they're having casual sex, pre-marital sex...but don't just SHOW the stories...like evaluate or something...talk to these people...interview them...ask them what they would have done differently if they had another chance...you know questions like that? I mean though they are what ost interviewers would ask in such an event, but to me it seems to carry a better message. The little conference thingie...I mean the indian guy was ever so helpful...he hardly made himself noticeable. The poor SPG too...I mean it just seemed to me that they just put her there to attract the audience, to get them interested as they would want to anticipate her reaction to the questions they posed to her on her promiscuous life. I mean she's in a tough enough spot as it is, coming on national television as they proclaimed her promiscuous lifestyle to the 4 million population of Singapore. I know that she should probably should have been able to anticipate reactions as she should have known what she was gettignherself into, however I felt that the host and the others were just out to make her feel bad about herself...put her down due to the life she leads...and announce to Singaporeans 'this is bad...don't follow'. The way the SPG looked at daphne too, when she was questioned on the issue they were discussing at the moment, haha..she was like looking at her out of the corner of her eye and scanning or maybe just looking her over from head to toe, like saying 'yeah, right.' or 'shut-up stupid bitch...what do you know'. We stopped that and watched 'hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy' it was funny at first, but it soon lost our attention.

bussed home, bathed, talked to baby and he went to sleep...almost 12 now...sigh
baby's going to be out for the whole of next week...
I'll be going for church camp when he comes back, then he'll be going to m'sia when that happens....
I'll be going to m'sia on christmas eve, so little time...
esp since next year's going to be so busy...
whoever knew december could be so busy....
gotta start on my chem tomorrow....
and I'm getting sleepy -_-.....
nites....

Is it me....or am i starting to miss you aleady?

It's sunday and I'm at home
just lazing aroung..and thinking about HOW exactly I'm going to finish my holiday homework...
anyway, I tried to take a nap just now, however I was RUDELY awakened by my mei mei...who decided to just come in and lie all over my bed waking me up in the process. Now I can't get back to sleep...she better keep 4 eyes on that bear of hers...
my eyes are watering now and my nose is running...I think it's the dusty state of my room. I just saw the amount of dust on the bookshelf near the window and I was absolutely appalled at how I could let such a sight go unseen for the past month or so. I should get down to getting it officially dustfree, before we go down to m'sia and once I've finished my holiday homework.
need to go iron...

I miss holding your hand
the way mine and yours just fit so well,
swinging it as we walk....
I miss your hugs
they always seem to make me feel so secure,
holding me like you'll never let me go...
I miss your face
the way it makes all those expressions that just make me laugh,
the smile that matches it so well...
I miss your eyes
the way they look at me,
making me feel like i'm the only one in your world...
I miss your hair
just the way it looks and feels when I run my hands through it...
what about you?

I just had to post this..
my nails are long
nice and pink too...
omg...they look so damn good....
typical bimbo moment...