frustration never ends

What do I need to do to get it through to everyone that I DO NOT WANT TO DO THIS! We're not even anywhere close to doing anything and I already hate it. What's more is that since the beginning there has been NO CONSOLATION whatsoever to doing any of it.

It all just feels like a giant waste of time and my mental well-being (which has probably wasted away quite some).

What do you do when you feel like you are not heard?

I really did not want to give a fuck no more, but then there came hope. But alas, it's the same thing all over again. I wonder if I have deal with this myself because someone cannot figure this shit out and it probably not being anything close to a priority.

There is just NO opportunity to talk about anything, so maybe I really just should fuck it all.

Some days

I wish that everyone could let me do what I want.

What was that?

Omg... That was one anger-filed post. Feeling much better. Thing is... Should I talk about it?

Sleep can't come any sooner

Fuck these emotions. I just want to go somewhere and shout these feelings that are pressing down so hard on me.

At this moment, I just want to let everything the fuck go. I am seriously thinking to myself right now. What. The. Fuck. Fucking. Waste. Of. My. Fucking. Time. "tell me how you feel", "if something upsets you tell me", "teach me how to care about you". Well fuck that.

You tell me you miss me? You've been away for a week, I helped you when you fucked up there and you are thinking about exercising. FUCK YOU.

I don't even know why I am so fucking upset. In fact writing all this out, make me feel so much fucking better.

Also, why the fuck am I bothering with this wedding. I don't even want to fucking do it. You want it. So why don't you fucking do everything. I'm not even the least bit interested, so why the hell am I so on the ball about it. Show your wife off? Please. Whatever the fuck for. I'm not interested in that. Plus, meeting all those people makes me feel fuck tired. So why even put myself through all that. Right now, I feel like the idiot. Pushed around by what EVERY fucking person around me wants. I laugh about it but on the inside, I'm just stabbing myself so hard.

Someone just save me.