I was supposed to watch prisonbreak today...but due to some unfortunate circumstances...I was unable to do so.
I should like just stop watching, I mean, I've missed one too many epsiodes for me to understand the show anymore, I think.

Anyway, woke up this morning...watched some cartoons...spongebob was truly hilarious...haha...and winx was just what it was. Later, went down to venezia to pick up the ice-cream and went to papa's office.

Left there at 5 to get to the dance class, which was what triggered my little 'pissed off' mood. I got to the bus stop at like 5.20...I understand...I probably missed it. The next one came at like 5.40...like wtf...I was supposed to meet sean at like 5.50. The bus service is super screwed or something man...plus the bus uncle was driving so slow...even the areas where 77 does not stop, like in orchard where 77 does not stop at like 2 bus stops in a row...it was going at CRAWLING speed. I felt like punching th uncle out and taking the wheel, which would then be bad for the other commuters; or just standing up in the bus and screaming 'WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM, YOU CAME LIKE FREAKING LATE AND NOW YOU'RE DRIVING DAMN SLOW.' but of course I did not. I just sat in my seat and fumed. When I alighted, I speed walked like 5 mins walk to the building next to paradiz. like omg...

anyways, dance was fine...there were some good laughing moments with sean today, although we did get confused along the way...haha...

Went walking around and I came upon what seemes like a reward from HEAVEN!!! It was like God was presenting me with a gift for being so disciplined and thrifty the whole year. There were some really noce polo tees going for like $13...like wth...I'm saving like $10-$20!!!! woohoo!!! pity i didn't have money there I then, I just need to calm myself down and limit myself to ONE!!! I walked into La Senza...I really like some of the pjs there, but who knew pjs could be that ex man....then I headed home.

Came home watched some toy story and had dinner...I can't wait for christmas...weeeee....ben and joseph are joining us. I think it would be really good. ben's coming back tomorrow...I wanna see what he bought me....weeee...he won't tell me.

Christmas is like ALMOST here...
weeeeeeeeee...
somehow...the feeling towards christmas has changed...there's this lack of excitement and anxiety as the day approaches. It has become somewhat like just any other ordinary day in a year. It doesn't feel like a holiday anymore...

I've just had my lunch...a rather heavy one...which is very out of the ordinary for me. Perhaps it was due to the fact that there was too much leftover stuff, but yet not enough to make a meal so I had to make like a bowl of instant noodles. All in all I had a char siew pao, a bowl of soup (from last night) and a bowl of instant mee. Which is a helluva a lot of crap to me...aaaand I just put all that into myself....

work has been olright...I'm just afraid that my hands would become all rough after all the washing of dishes and plates. I dished out so many boxes of ice-cream today...omg...wo zhen de gen chocolate you yuan (I'm fated with chocolate). All that dishing of the belgium and dark chocolate was really a workout...for the fact that the belgium is so damn hard and the dark chocolate is damn sticky and hard. A pity my left arm is like useless...if not...the biceps on both arms would at least look the same. haha...

I think last night, mummy like went crazy. I have NO idea where she went...she came home with like 4 burnt christmas cds. I mean, their pretty nice and all, but I mean, their all pretty much the same songs in different versions. It's like the hamburger...if you know what I'm talking about, or did I just confuse the dear reader. However the enya one was a good choice...I just want the corrine may one now. =)

I believe I now have to go and clean the house. so ciao!!!
Merry Chiristmas and a Happy New Year. (just in case i'm not here to say it)

I'm finally on the internet....
the home PC has finally died...it was rather expected cos , it didn't seem too hot when it came back from the repairman in the first place...
so now I'm on papa's comp, just that there's no powercord(sp?)...I have no idea where it went...so I have to finish this fast before the battery runs out.
anyway, work is going a little better, I think the scooping has improved...with regards to one and 2 flavours. As for the box ones...a little more time, I just need to make the ice-cream look neat and stuff. I learnt to do more of the foods...so yeah. other than that, I've been on the night shift the past 2 days...which is crazy. Tuesday was fine...there wasn't anybody in near closing so li yin and I went home early. YESTERDAY, there were still people in the store at closing and more people coming in during closing, so we ended late.

Baby's away on another of his things until saturday, so other than work...it's been the TV and 2 dvds my sisters and I rented. I thought Gattaca was really good, Mr Hoi let us watch snippets of it for a while during GP but we never really finished it in the end, so it was good to see how it all finally turned out for the man. Highly recommended. My sisters watched Maria Full of Grace, another movie I watched in GP lecture. It wasn't too bad...it's just frightful to think you can swallow 60+ pellets THAT big into your stomach.

Just had my bf...home alone and I will be working closing again, missing prisonbreak again. It's gonna be more tv again wile waiting to go to work, maybe I'll do some reading since I've found a book to read, or maybe ironing. whatever it is, life is just boring now, until work starts.

I so need to get out more often...without spending money that is.

Any takers? haha...

Have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry?

I told you not to, but you just had to...
Don't you have anything else to do???
what part of 'don't call' do you just NOT understand???
just leave it...

I disgust myself...

somebody just shoot me...really, cos I HATE feeling SO SO pathetic...

Well...work is so starting to get to me...
I'm starting to think I'm not too good with this ice-cream dishing thingamajig...
I mean I just CANNOT make it look right in the cup,one person says it's fine, just get the shape. On the other hand, someone else says make the sides flat like OMG!!!
worst of all I was like trying to get through work without breaking any like plates and stuff and I ended up breaking a jar of jam which was conveniently put in front of the drinks, plus at that moment there was a rush to get stuff out of the kitchen...so the floor was sticky, went to get the mop...of course I ahad to wring it, if not the whole place would be wet and slippery and people might fall, no the person there tells me I don't have to wring the mop...like huh??

Tomorrow night I'll be working closing...hopefully it goes well...and then I'll rush home to watch prisonbreak.

Today was just today...I spent almost the whole day playing the pokemon gameboy which I got from ben. I swear, the games I get from him...the first was chicken invaders. Spent about another 2+ hours watching Italian Job...it's a good movie I must admit, the genius of the plan always amazes me.

I thought I'd get through today okay...I dunno, sometimes i despise being a girl. There are just TOO many traits I dislike about girls. Like how in movies they scream and cry about everything when they should be DOING something CONSTRUCTIVE, like shutting the hell up. Plus, how they get so freaked out by anything with more than 2 legs. Cockroaches I understand, cos they're so damn filthy but like for the rest just use your feet and kick it away or flick it away, Another thing is how they get so emotional when they get attached to someone which is how i am right now. Like WTH...it's only 4 days...STOP being an unreasonable WHINING BITCH!!! stop calling acting like you can't live without him....AAAAAH!!!! I'm becomig like EVERYTHING I dislike about girls, being the retarded loser who just can't live without her boyfriend.

somebody just shoot me...

are words of comfort so hard to come by??

first day of work...
my feet hurt, hurt...
I wish there was someone here to make it feel better...

I just wish you would leave me the hell alone...
like just GO AWAY...why is I always feel like i'm being, I dunno, pushed around.
it's like when you like you get me to do stuff and when you don't like it you just explode in my face.
I've had ENOUGH!!! find someone else to do your shit, you think you're the ONLY ONE, you think you're the only one that has a whole load of SHIT to handle. Well let me just tell you this...WAKE UP YOUR FREAKIN' IDEA!!! The whole BLOODY world does not revolve around you. It doesn't mean you're treated like that all day you can come home and be like that around everyone. If everyone can take all your crap, I certainly can't!!!
I am SICK and tired of this...

I just had to vent...anyways, today's work was alright, I just could not get the ice-cream to look right, I mean what the hell is up with the gelato man...it just won't get into the shape in the cup. The worst is when 2 flavours are needed, I can't uimagine 3 flavours. In way the job isn't too bad, cause there isn't much to do in the morning and it's walking distance. I just need more confidence...yeah and like not to be so kan chiong when doing things, cause if I do i just screw up some stuff. plus I just need to get more familiar with things, the isea of having to call on people for help is just, I dunno, it makes me feel a little retarded. I get that it's not wrong to ask for help, but to ask for it so frequently just gets to me. hopefully, everything get's sorted out and into place tomorrow...

tomorrow seems bleak, lonely, oh why did I let you go so far...
I want you back...
why did you go...

Back from the hotel!
weee....the hotel was damn nice...just that I didn't sleep much having drunk too much. By the wasy...drinking too much is rather relative...for me that would me more than a bottle of becardi or hooch. yes, yes...laugh your bloody ass off and say it....I'm a pathetic drinker....muahaha...luckily I'm not a fan of drinking, so it's not much of a loss...haha.

The dinner was a blast because of the people...but foodwise it wasn't too great. Even my favourite course (shark's fin) didn't have much taste, in addition the vinegar was rather lousy...you had to add like a lot to actually even taste it. Dessert was olright by me...just that the aloe vera wasn't as crunchy as it was supposed to be.

Took a bus down to PS in the morning and baby and I had breakfast at MacDonalds...Weeeee!!! I satisfied my long time crave to have hotcakes...and it was prettyt satisfying with a nice hot cup of tea. I also managed to have breakfast with baby at macdonalds, which was what I have wanted to do for a while now. after that, baby went off for his appointment and I headed home. Came home and I did a little housework before bathing...and I called Venezia. YES!!! I shall be dishing out ice-cream for the next 2 months. Plus, it's NOT just ice-cream people...its GELATO!!! muahaaha...I just hope to clock enough hours to make like $1000 in my bank, which would actually require me to work for like 10 hours everyday at the most...but hey, I'm dishing out GELATO!!!! Who wouldn't be able to work 10 hours with lovely GELATO!!!! Weeee!!!!

I really hope it works out...I keep thinking that a good paying office jopb would come along...but it's been like 2 weeks...it's driving me crazy!!!!

Like really...

wahahahahaha....
spent like the entire afternoon till evening at sheryl's house...
morning went to pick baby and buy the delicious ham ends we discovered last night and then walked back to the house. Baby fixed the neckalce up for me and we spent sometime together and watched a bit of flushed away.

After that walked to sheryl's. Sheryl and I watched step up together (LIKE FINALLY!!) It was pretty good...I LOVED the showcase, rehearsals were groovy to watch...sean and baby were outside playing ome flying game when we left and when we were done, they were playing some tank game. As in they were riding in tanks shooting aliens which make really cute noises when killed. Had lunch...curry with maggi mee noodles and bread....we like finished the whole loaf. after that we decided to play monopoly...haha..it was pretty good. I got 2 hotels...haha...sean paired up with sheryl and baby with me...haha and sean went like bankrupt twice. Saved by passing GO!

It got a little boring...then we played MAJONG!!! muahaaha....baby and sheryl taught sean and I the noobs how to play...it was a rather painful 6 games...taking eons to finish each one...each time I was sooooooo close the the tile just didn't come. haha...baby said, another criteria filled towards becoming a taitai. I can shop and now I can play mahjong. I just need to be jobless in the future and married to rich husband or tycoon(Being optimistic...=))

we left at about 7...baby took a bus to the interchange while sean and I waited for the bus together. While waiting I educated him on the basis of make-up; why women put make-up, what piece of make-up is for what purpose, the colours they come in...haha...now I a home having had my last day of freedom without a job.

I just dread the idea of having a job...it's like I so haven't made up for ALL the free time lost from prelims till the end of 'A's I just wanna, you know get acquainted with the god of idling (if there is one) and regain the ability to SLACK!!! This sounds a bit strange but yeah....however, on the bright side...I will have a bit of spending power. I still have a lot of things in mind to buy...so there's the motivation, plus the dance classes I ahve to pay for, so I just need to focus on that.

NO PROBLEM!! yeah....oookay...so ciao!!!

IT'S OVER!!!
OMG...I like never thought that i'd be able to wait till this day came...haha
well chem mcq, didn't go as planned, but oh well, nothing much can be done as of now.
went out with baby and his class to minds cafe to play board games.
and guess what?
I met ERIKA!!!
and we just spoke on the phone the night before...um...no...the day before last night...
it was soooo good to see her...haha...we have to meet sometime....SOON!!!
got to minds and I stayed with the guys, played citadel, it was pretty good...baby won...weeeee!! I helped him out choosing the cards...baby bought me a brownie and ice-cream...and the brownie was soooo good. it was so moist and warmprobably on e of the best brownies I've ever tasted.
after minds we met baby's friend siewjing...haha...she was so cutely blur....likecrazily disoriented...um...you most likely didn't get what I said but never mind...baby sent me out and then I took 77 home

the wait was like forever...it was like after numerous 190s, 106s, and 162s, it finally decieded to show up. The bus ride was equally bad...I don't know why, I was rather irritated as to why it took so bloody long to get out of orchard, perhaps it was due to the after work rush to get home thing....but it was UNBEARABLE. The hunger and tired eyes just added to the horrible experience...got home...bathed and now I'm here....mei mei went to pierce her ears...weeee....I'm wondering if I should....I have this strong feeling of wanting too...

Finally a little breather in between papers...
I had like math 1, chem 3 and math 2 for 3 consecutive days
next week's like the last stretch of everything, the only thing that's finished is math, so yeah, like 2 down, 2 more to go...making that like 5 more papers to go....
after all this...chacha and salsa hopefully...I really wanna learn...
and for the first time in my entire life, I WANT to go shopping...I have NO idea what to shop for, I just wanna spend and buy something...AAAH!!!

12 to go...

the tagboard is like fixed...not fixed, I just got a new one.
Anyway, seeing as I haven't blogged since october...

lotsa stuff happened; graduation day, many fun days of class with the class, or at times the lack of it, mock and more mock exams. A rather bittersweet period of time, parting ways is difficult after having gotten used to having them around almost 24/7. plus, it's only been 2 years, so it seems like you've just gotten used to them and it all just ended so fast.

Graduation day was like a touch of reality that we won't see each other as often anymore, and that the 'A's are like 3 weeks away. The year passed like lightning, and yet there's a feeling like i'm not ready to go yet. I wanna stay a little while longer, especially since this is the last I'll ever see of formal schooling. JC life was truly amazing...it was torture, but yet there was so much laughter involved to totally dismiss it an insufferable experience. It's nothing like IJ, but it was close...maybe on par...

now it's time to hibernate and prove to myself what the two years were worth in terms of academics and I really hope that there are no regrets. not even a single one.

church today was rather light, I mean pastor was like preaching on how we could spiritually connect when two sparrows flew in from behind the curtains in the MG audi. I have NO idea how they got in. but they kept chirping and hopping infront and flying around. There was also a little boy who kept following the birds, obvioulsy fascinated...haha...that came to an end when he started to climb onto the stage. The rest of the day was spent with environmental chem, technically should be just called major regurgitation, the problem being that regurgitation is only possible if you actually SWALLOW anything.

I pray to God that everything goes well for the next 2 weeks...

baby: haha...oh yeah, it still seems rather strange as to how we could have forgotten the 19th anniversary...so happy belated 19th anniversary...

today is stay home and study...
'so sleepy' is what I have been for the pass few days...
THANK YOU to erika, nat, sheryl. jeanette and baby for the birthday smses
THANK YOU to yimin for the ab-so-lute-ly lovely card, I still have NO idea how you do it...it's beautiful; valerie for choosing the colour of the tank; cherie, shuyan for the chocs; karen, jolene, trevin, lianwang and yanny for tor the tank and cute little voodoo doll!! Amanda for the super cool photo frame, meimei for the gummies...weee!!! Mummy for baking the cheesecake!!!! and last but not least, to baby for the necklace and the company you gave me!!!

I got the link to this article in an email, there are actually more articles about the issue on the sunday times issue on how they defined IJ girls there, so you can go read more about it; the link is at the bottom of this paragraph. I was a bit upset about the definition delivered to the public. I guess I would not deny that there is some truth in it, that a majority do hem our skirts really short and wear out belts low, however I did feel offended by the comment IJ girls as being 'allegedly easy when it comes to the opposite sex' as well as the caricature , after all I was educated for 10 years CHIJ Toa Payoh. Even though the article was 'toungue-in-cheek' ,to me , that comment was just baseless and insulting to a school which has probably educated more than thousands of girls in its 152 years of stay in Singapore. It basically undermined the rich legacy of the convent and the strong values it has taught many girls. The education and spiritual enrichment that I received during my years there is one probably no other school would be able to equal and I am proud of how it has shaped me into the person I am today.

http://www.chijalumni.org/news.htm

Lifestyle article cast aspersions on IJ Girls

Tuesday September 19, 2006

I AM the chairperson of the Infant Jesus Board of Management of 11 CHIJ Schools in Singapore and an old girl of one of these CHIJ Schools.

I refer to the article published on pages L4 - L6 of Lifestyle of The Sunday Times ('Alternative Singapore: The Encyclopedia'; Sept 17) where the authors indicated their desire to present 'overseas visitors' with an 'Insiders' Guide to help them get the most out of their stay'. They have therefore 'come up with (their) own counter-culture compendium of nuggets' which will 'initiate you to the local hybrid lingo'. I note that the article was written 'tongue-in-cheek'.

I am concerned and dismayed that the authors have elected to include in their 'compendium of nuggets' their definition of 'IJ Girls', together with other commonly used words within the local Singapore community.

My concern lies in two areas:

Was there a need to tarnish the image of thousands of students, past, present and future, including girls as young as six-plus years old in Primary One, with an image that they are 'allegedly easy when it comes to the opposite sex'?

Was there any need to associate your improper definition with an inappropriate caricature and a picture of IJ students in uniform, taken out of context?

There are currently about 16,000 pupils in our CHIJ Schools aged six to 16 years of age. The first CHIJ School was founded 152 years ago, which means that thousands of young women would have been educated in an IJ School. The wholly inappropriate description has swept through a large swathe of innocent pupils and ex-pupils.

The recent coverage of Mrs Elizabeth Choy was very tasteful. Your readers may wish to know that Mrs Choy was an 'IJ Girl', having schooled at a CHIJ school from 1929-1933.

Other IJ Girls include Singapore's Ambassador to the United States, Prof Chan Heng Chee; Members of Parliament Mrs Cynthia Phua, Ms Ellen Lee, Dr Fatimah Lateef, Ms Sylvia Lim, Ms Jessica Tan; Executive Director (Unifem) Ms Noeleen Heyzer, IJ Sister Cecilia Chew, IJ Sister Daniel Ee, IJ Sister Christina Joy and IJ Sister Maria Lau, just to name a few. I wonder if these women would appreciate being described as 'allegedly easy on the opposite sex'?

The authorship and publication of such an article cannot, by any measure, be accepted as a 'tongue-in-cheek' article. It was an ill-conceived idea and done in bad taste. It has caused much distress, pain and embarrassment to women, of all ages, that hail from our CHIJ Schools. We do not condone your publication and take strong objection to the aspersions cast upon IJ Girls.

Donne Marie Aeria
Chairperson
Infant Jesus Board of Management
CHIJ Schools

these 2 days have been unexpectedly boring...
with the exception that I have met my goal in ironing
the anime episodes on youtube have run out...
I am like a dried up prune in need of much entertainment or just to go out.

Although the problem would be that I have no money to spend and so many things that I want that I can't differentiate what i really want from what is just a fad to me.
sometimes I want things so much, but after a while...or a few months or years...it just doesn't seem necessary to me anymore. Did I also mention I hate indesiciveness...so I just cannot stand not being able to decide what I want. ironically, it's stressful...at this rate I'll probably be dying early...haha...

somehow I just cannot wait for next week, where I can get to school and just...okay maybe that's not a very good option. I sound like some caveman in confinement...

hiax...

like prelims are officially over...
*jumps for joy*
although I don't feel very much relieved...there's still the nagging of the mext wave...
haix..
anyway, yesterday was a fantastic day...
haha...2t29's very first class outing, went to minds cafe, opposite paradiz. the class just played board games and card games the whole 2 hours plus...haha...the SNORT was the best game ever...haha...it's like dirty germs but just that for this version we use animal sounds. it was really fun...haha and the the other game was rather interesting...don't really know what it's called though. basically the card shows a hand gesture and you need to dertermine if can be done and if it can be you have to imitate it as fast as possible.
we finished up at 7 and then the girls and I decided to go PS to shop for trevin and karen's bro's present. we walked and walked until 9.30 when we finally found both. Karen and I were in barang barang walking around hoping to find some sort of inspiration there. Surprisingly barang barang does not only sell furniture and furniture accessories but toys too...
and then headed home.

baby had S paper today...poor little thing...
the whole of today was just spent on youtube watching stuff....
I dont want this day to end...
which reminds me, I'll have to go iron late..whoo!!

Happy 18th month anniversary baby!!!

1 and a half years...
Thank you so much for being there for me, giving me a shoulder to cry on.
Thank you so much for pushing me and motivating me, when I felt that I could go on no longer.
Thank you for taking care of me, always putting me first, especially when I'm sick.
Thank you for your patience, kindness and love that you have showered me with.
Thank you for always being there to cheer me up when I was down.
Thank you for making me such a happy person these pass 18 months.
I have truly loved and appreciated all the times we have spent together.
I hope that we would grow to love and understand each other more.
I love you so so much!
:) muakz!!!

Cause there's something in the way you look at me
It's as if my heart knows
You're the missing
make me believe that there's nothin'in this world I can't be
I never know what you see but there's
somethin' in the way you look at me

I've finally gotten into windows on my computer...
It's SUPER screwed up...
It's like everytime I type a letter the whole screen sorta blinks.
The colours all in weird shades....and it comes in dots, not a solid colour.
Everything is extremely BIG cos the resolution is the smallest one and I'm afraid to change it cos then I'll have to restart the comp and then I would need to go through all the shit I had to go through just now to get in. Mummy's probably going to scold me when she finds out the state the comp is in, I have no idea why it screws up like that...why is it MY comp always screws up and other people who DL loads of stuff don't screw-up!??!? I have too much stuff...school stuff and personal stuff in here to reformat this whole thing...AAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Today was rather well spent...I mean just doing chem...now I'll be doing math soon...as you can see it's rather boring, just total mugging and mugging and non-stop worrying if I've done enough.
I have no idea what I'm going to type here seein as the day hasn't been the most exciting of all days, perhaps it's the need to be online and that the computer still works...I haven't even had dinner!!! I was in the middle of doing a math prelim paper too...
I think i should end...
end.

I swear nothing gives me an adrenaline rush like chemistry...I just love doing it 0_0

This might or might not make sense to you.

Perhaps if I said prelims are next week it might...

or not.

If I lay here If I just lay here
Would you lie with me
And just forget the world
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

been a while since i've blogged...
all the mad rush for mock and with prelims coming soon...
I still can't believe it's gonna end so soon.
part of me feels ecstatic about all the stress and crap being lifted from my mind but yet I think...or maybe I would miss everyone in class.
anyways, I have to remember I have to write that stupid thing for MOE about my participation in my CCA.

yesterday was a somewhat wonderful yet guilty day spent...haha.
We had like an early teachers' day celebration in school, so we had 2 lessons and then celebrations after. The girls bought teachers' day presents...for mr wee handkerchiefs, for miss ang a taitai looking purple handbag, for miss koh a clock and for mr hoi a pink shirt. mr wee wore the bright pink shirt that they gave him last year, took some getting used to but I think it makes him look younger, mr hoi's one was a better desicion.

As for celebrations, I just loved the yo-yo man...omg, I thought it was so cool. The bands were average, nothing like rockafella dance was good as usual...haha...after that baby and I went to bukit panjang cafe cartel and had, to me, a rather expensive lunch...which makes me feel soooooo guilty. Then we went to visit the pet store there...omg...I swear I wanna dog...the silky terrier that licked our fingers is soooo cute....I knew i liked dogs, but not like this...haha...went back to baby's place to spend time together and watched click.

all in all...a wonderful day spent =)

today was just spent alone....watched the usual morning cartoons and then work work...break...walk around a bit and then work somemore...and yeah work...

ain't JC life great???

holidays are always nice...
the more the merrier I always say
anyway the national day eve was spent quite...QUITE well...
the morning was spent walking, like 7, 6 km from schooland through macRitchie, the start of the day wasn't exactly very good...it took like half a century for the whole school to file out of school...the supposed highlight was walking through the little merryn estate looking and admiring the nice houses. There was a chrome yellow one with like a lift in it, and this really big country-looking house which I really lliked. walked pass some cemeteries and then trekked throught macRitchie. It was a nice walk, if you around, the peacefulness there was really good. All in all the walk was olright, the incessant phototaking aside.

after that went to adam road food centre with weijie, joel, bala, baby and ernst. I think joel is rather comfortable to talk to, I mean he's really easy going and the way he talks and stuff it's really easy for someone to converse with. Plus, he kept calling me 'tai tai'...haha. After that spent some quality time with baby.

Today was rather quiet, just doing math all day long. What with the imminent math mock on friday. I aim to like finish the whole revision package or something. mummy cooked a nice lunch =) mummy and daddy went shopping in m'sia and guin and I watched the NDP on TV and now I'm here. Should be getting back to doing that math like now....

no time, no time...
no time to stand and stare
no time to look and see
no time to play...
no time to sleep...
an endless rush from here to there
hours, minutes and seconds needing to be saved from their death
is it supposed to be like this???
maybe I'm at the wrong end of it all?
am I not doing something right?
I HAVE TO KNOW!!!!
2 weeks,
2 months,
4 months
when will it stop?
I feel haunted,
maybe harrassed,
how about stoned?
so many things running in my mind
I just want to tear it out and stop the endless thoughts

sunday was a good day I must say...
started with 9am serice as usual, and then I joined the family for lunch...indian lunch...
I had like pieces of thosai and cheppatti and whatnot and then me and papa left.
He gave me a lift to orchard and there I met erika =)
lunch was pepper lunch...never been there before
with this thing where you have to constantly mix the rice so it'll cook well and stuff...
rather interesting... for me...
it was nice seeing her, after not having seen her for like 10s of years...haha...just kidding
I'm like so tired, I have this feeling that I'm running on adrenaline.

yesterday, the whole school was let of at 1 so baby and I went to spend some quality time together. i really miss that...

today was all lectures...
started with chem lect with baby, then physics lect which i was so tired in and then we had pe...I swear I'm not getting anything the teacher is teaching about badminton...I just can't do what he does...for me I just whack the shuttlecock and stuff. Physics tutorial was just amusing...mr wee is so comical and I think he's just oblivious to it...he's just weird or something the way he explains things and his little stories and philosphies about life. I was dying by math lect and my eyes were so tired, after which I went to the library to accompany baby where he left me to go play soccer later on and now I am home, still wanting to sleep...

Is it me or am I like a bottomless pit for food recently...
I'm always feeling hungry, like right now....
baby says it's good cause that means I'm not stressed...
is that true?

today was just absolutely frustrating...
I am still pissed about it and I think I'll just blow it all right here on my blog.

enough is ENOUGH!!
I have seriously had it. I was really short of time and I cannot believe I traded a better grade for my math for a fucking O for physics, At first I thought, hey why not give physics a chance and really work at it this time and get a C , like BULLSHIT man! my math and physics ended up at the wrong end of the table of grades. COME ON! for CTs all I did was memorise the formula and I got an O too...I mean looking at the odds, it really isn't gamble worth taking anymore.

I was so happy I put so much effort into it and managed to do more or less most of the questions, I was still rather deluded when I got the paper...I thought I'd gotten a B with 63.5 but then it hit me like a train that I hadn't even passed. I mean WHAT THE HELL is it going to take!?!??! I've already gone through almost 3+ years with physics and i've worked and worked and to no avail. I mean is it like gonna take 10 years, well I kinda DON'T HAVE 10 YEARS!!! I have like less than 3 months. I juist don't get it. I don't know what's wrong...I really have no idea...I just can't get it, I mean I really want to. I even thought I was starting to get the hang of it and maybe even be able to do it...and now this.

will somebody tell me what's wrong....cos I really want to make this right...I really do...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LISA!!!!!!!

like omg....
my computer is working 0_0
it was like dead the past 3 days...I just could not get into windows AT ALL!!!
and mei mei needs it on friday for some stupid e-learning thingamajig the school is doing cos there's no school for her...
so woohoo...it's working...
I just hope it stays this way, I have no idea what made it konk-out
anyway, ther first day of normal school was just bad...
today just had to be the one we end at 5, needless to say we were all pretty much dead as the day approached its end. I was already falling asleep during math at 4...
plus I have homework to do!!!! there's like sampling distribution and transition elements...
I still wanna sleep though... -_-zzzzzzzz

I like this world cup song...celebrate the day...hmmm, it's growing on me...
roight, time to go cook rice....ciao!

sometimes I wish I didn't have a bloody conscience

You keep me
You keep me smiling
You keep me safe in a crazy world
You understand me
Embrace my fragility
You keep me safe in a crazy world
And in your arms I find the strength to believe in me again

I went on shopping trip today...
a failed shopping trip...
i set out to buy a pair of heels, seemed simple enough...
met baby and we went to orchard.
I like the strappy kinds, which are low heeled and I have this thing about the buckle for the heel cos I especially don't like it flip-flopping everywhere when I walk around.

Baby and I must have walked into almost every shoe store on orchard and the kind of shoes I liked have heels like 2 inches high, i mean come on, what happened to the low heels meant for lousy people like me who can't take the height?!?!? I mean they used to be in charkes&keith and now, they're all GONE!!!! It's teeming with those pointy-toed shoes thingie. I know it's all the trend now, but people like me don't suit it and plus don't find squeezing my toes into a triangle very comfortable. there was hope when we found a nice 9.90 pair...I liked the pink, which had no stock for my shoe size, then there was the green which didn't look as good. Tinkerbell was just as bad...bursting at the seams with those pointy-toed shoes. I just don't get it...

I fely very, extremely, terribly bad for dragging baby from shoe store to shoe store, not even buying anything. I swear I need a shopping buddy, who wouldn't get irritated at the way i shop, walking into stores looking and not buying or saying things are nice but not buying. Plus I have this thing where I survey the store from outside, and just one look I would know this is not the store I want and just walk off.

omg...I seriously need help and a new pair of shoes... =(

I am so addicted to that adidas ad...
the one with the little kids and the football players...haha
they're just so cute...I'm talking about the kids, plus the football tricks are just so sexy...
okay...I am home cos basically the mids are over and plus I don't have a paper today =)
I'm kinda really dead for math. For the first time in my life, I feel my physics was waaaaaaaay better, chem was just chem, hopefully it's an A though.
HOWEVER, I shall not be home for long, going to set out at like 10 and get to school to return my library books or I shall be so fined for it and that woman in the library isn't the best thing to be chased by. Then I shall pick deborah from there and we shall head to baby's house to meet the boys, assuming they make it there before we do, cos I hear they were playing DoTA until 2 this morning. I feel like playing pool....hmmmmm...but I suck...

I miss people, esp the IJ peeps...
I don't know why...
just haven't seen some people for a while and I miss their presence and the fun stuff, good stuff we had. There are some , quite some, IJ people in CJ, but it's just not the same you know? I missed that gathering for erika, so yeah...stupid mids. or I could say stupid me, cos I went for LTC? cos if I didn't i'd have been able to go for it.

I wonder...should I wear contacts today? my nails are pretty long, so it's be quuuuuuuite hard to put it in and take it out...hmmm...

That's it...
I am so done for the mid-years...
I sorta finished chem...I just have that enormous chapter called environmental chem and doubts avout electrochem to clear-up. as for physics, I have like 8 chapters to go!!!!!! for maths...I've like done 3 papers!!!
talk about equal distribution...it's just that some just take too long...eat into other subjects times and then everything is now in a HUUUUUUUUGE mess!!!!!
I like just wanna give up and just let it pass...they say that people who are perfectionistic would try to get things done but once they find they've had enough, they feel it's better to just ignore it and pretend it never existed.
I just wanna throw everything to one side, sit down somewhere, scream, cry, whatever and just try to loosen up the tension, stress and whatever nonsense that has got me so unhappy...I don't know, I'm like so desperate I'll try anything!!!

I wanna go shop too...
I have never felt so much of a compulsion to be a financial contirbutor of the Singapore sale, but just for once I wanna do something for myself, give something for myself...I mean..yeah...whatever...

why does everything have to be like this??

nothing sucks more than being ditched by a ball...

I don't know why I'm feeling so irritable but yeah, I am...
it's just that when I get down...nothing seems to be able to pick me up except for a good nights sleep...that's when I usually put everything behind, and sorta forget about it.

I'm at papa's office now and typing on his rather disgusting laptop...the place you kinda rest your wrist on is like disintegrating or something. which is rather bugging me...i'm like trying not to touch the thing, so it looks like i'm pivoting my whole lower arm on my elbows. when they start to hurt I just kinda give it up for a while.

I studied from like 11 to 3-4 and now I just cannot go on anymore...the mood to study has absolutely disappeared into oblivion, shrivelled up and died. I almost blew my brains out trying to get my OC dvd working...the stupid programme or dvd, whichever one it is, is just screwing up right now. so I sorta settled for 'the incredibles' again...for like the millionth time. I so need something to keep me sane right now...I cannot stand it!!! I just wanna go out and not spend money. I have no idea what to do to relax, cos I have no idea what even relaxes me...did that confuse you?? so yeah...I think i'm quuuite screwed in terms of enjoyment. watching cartoons was a good optionn till I got kinda irked byt the incessant appearances of little and 'not-so-little' kids appearing on tv, assaulting you with screams of 'the holidays are here, so have fun on kids central' or variations of that, just makes you wanna scream at the TV screen and ask them to shut-up cos you have a stupid mid-year to study for. I mean 'why?', why can't they just do it as per normal...you know the usual 'you're watching kidscentral' nobody would notice or sue them for not wishing them a 'happy school holiday'!!!besides no one cares about stuff like that...we just wanna watch the cartoons...don't you?

okay...that's about enough venting for one day...
back the 'the incredibles'...

right blogger is screwed up...
kinda...
and what i'm typing out is coming out a split second slower...so I gotta keep stopping to see what I'm typing...
and now the blinkie thingie is gone....
anyway..today was supposed to be a major productive day, cos i was planning to study organic and organic for me get's done pretty fast...buuuuuuuuut I brought the source of evil and all distractions in toe world there...
I brought the CD which my sis's friend burnt for me...the OC...absolutely unresistable...season 1 all the way to 3...I just couldn't stop. I was studying while watching...but as you can tell, it didn't tuen out as productive as I wanted today to be.
If I stayed at home...it would have been better...for some reason I'm so psyched up to work in the morning...but once I plonk myself down to watch TV...I'm gone...so yeah...at least we're lesser of one evil.

besides all this I was thinking about something the whole night before and today.
I was watching desperate housewives last night when this new peugeot ad came up...I like peugeot ads...they're catchy and amusing for the viewer. but this one in particular caught my attention.

it was basically appealing to the female gender for this new car that they have. The ad was just basically how women would change the way things ar. One would be that men would give birth...well that would mean we wouldn't have to have all the stuff like terrible morning sickness, which a rare few have for the whole 9 months of gestation. Others have stretch marks after that, a large amount of weight gain and although some people say a woman glows when she's pregnant, acne breakouts are not uncommon at all. It's a whole pandora box of stuff. With the shimmer of hope being that it is one connection a man or father would never be able to experience.

As for high heels not hurting...I am so going to second that...the price of beauty. I mean they help us women gain some height, they provide the leverage women need in the world. They can do wonders for us women besides height. As for diamonds growing on trees...I'm quite indiffferent to that...I'm not exactly a bitg fan of diamonds, but if you give me some...I'll accept...haha...it's like chocolate for me. I don't necessarily crave it, but if it's there I'll take.

As for tailoring men, haha...at times it just seems a good idea, I mean they just DON'T get it sometimes...but if you really sit and look at us women, we are a damn confusing bunch of people. Like we just need to get to the point some time, I think if we had to live with us for a day, our indirectness would drive ourselves crazy. As for tailoring...I like my man the way he is. I mean sure...the ideal one would be like tall, dark, handsome ( baby just needs to be tall...haha...) there's some plus pluses too...but I was watching the "tailor" draw a six pack on the guy...and I was thinking...it would be kinda weird for baby to have a 6 pack. I have no idea why I'm thinking this, but I think the tummy could be a little smaller, but that's all...I don't really need the 6 pack. I like the way my man looks...haha...come to think of it...the 6 pack thingie idea, feels rather awkward...o_O

rightssssss....I just had to get that out....
apologies if that made the reader feel a little awkward...
ciao!

today was just total madness...
the whole week was just draining...besides the time spent with baby....
due to the presence of LTC in my calender taking up humongous space in that school diary of mine...I am constantly assaulted by the rather few (EXTREMELY few) blocks left in june...
my mind is just going crazy....it's like...like the freaking white rabbit in Alice in Wonderland, just that it's going 'no time, no time' and mummy's like going 'don't tell me you don't have time to study'....

I have no freaking idea how to sqeeze in all my revision...I'm like just doing papers and papers to get a feel of all the stuff again, so that revision later wouldn't take so long when I get back...the downside being that I'm taking like one day to one paper...when i should be able to do 2 or 3 ...like I'm super screwed up...
and then when the results come out, it's so gonna be like shit and then it's gonna be no phone, no going out, no this no that....AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!
morale is really low at the moment...
apologies to the dear reader on the tiny snippet of what's been going on in my head consciously or subconsciously 24/7 so far

I swear no one i know worries like this, you could say it's good cos it sorta motivates me, but then it's just so over the top that it makes you just wanna scream and cry to ease all the knots and pent-up frustration, which is what happens most of the time compared to the former. There's absolutely no way to make it go away, unless it's been done with. I'm just afraid i'll just reach my peak one day and only god knows what will happen. The worst thing is that when I try to relax and stuff...I just lose the motivation there and then and going back to whatever I was doing just doesn't hold much incentive for me at that moment in time.

can somebody explain this to me?

I feel so tired...I have no idea why...

anyway, the week was utter chaos...had like dance everyday from arounf 5-7 each time...but now it's finally over, as in all the training and stuff. I have a big blister on my foot, actually my toe. Other than that...the week was just pretty normal and stuff, putting aside the extreme tiredness.

next week would be like the last week of school for the term and it would be time to start muggung for mid-years. Like OMG there's so much stuff to study for, I cannot stand it...I'm already panicking, going to pull my hair out. I hate this man...it's like study, study all day long...I just want everything to stop for a while so I can sit down and stop rushing around. I want a holiday... I just want everything to stop so badly.

a whole day ruined...just like that...
at first it was salvageable...but now it's just in ruins...
time is hard to come by as it is...so I'm starting to doubt myself.

It was all planned out (for the first time)...what we were going to do...where we were going to go and then mummy decided to ask me to help my dad in the afternoon. I thought it was all over...but there was still some possibility of it happening.

I don't know if what I did was wrong. maybe if I just hadn't said ANYTHING at all...it just wouldn't even have started at all. At first I didn't know why I got angry....then I thought it was the way he looked at me...to me it was as if he was frustrated, maybe even pissed (I don't know) and just wanted me to shut up. He assumed I got angry because he had told her...but it didn't really feel right with how I felt. He said it was okay...she doesn't mind at all...so why should I be so pissed about it. but that just wasn't it...it still seemed to be how he looked at me or treated me earlier on.

After sitting down for a while...everything just fell into place. It seemed that for him...what mattered was not how I felt when he told her...but that she didn't mind what I said. I don't know if I'm being oversensitive or just bitchy...but to me when I tell him something, I regard him as a confidante, which was why I said it without any worries...not some messenger. For me, I felt that there was a breach of trust...am I making a mountain out of a molehill?? He said that she doesn't really mind, that it was a game that they play all the time...and that anyway he can't keep so many things inside.

What does that mean?

It makes me feel like it isn't safe to tell him things anymore...he could just blurt out what I feel is private and confidential, just between the two of us. after all we are 2 different people, even if we do agree on some things there would definitely things we don't agree on.

am I just being oversensitive? bitchy? paranoid? pathetic even?
i'm just so tired...I feel so self-conscious...like some loser

And love is all that I need
And I found it there in your heart
It isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven

right now, at a glance...everything seems to be in order...
I seem to have gotten a lot more organised and it makes me feel good...
I mean, all my work gets done, and I'm going for all these extra classes and I'm handling the workload well compared to others.
but when I just sit and think quietly...I actually have so many things to get in order actually
Sometimes I get so scared and panic...cos my mind has a way of multiplying or exponentially increasing the amount of work that I have to do. or I just choose to sit and do nothing...cos my minds gotten tired of panicking and stuff. so it just gets pretty extreme...and frankly it's just driving me crazy.
I have this overwhelming feeling that I'm screwing up everything...and for some unknown reason...the more I do something about it...it kinda gets worse...

other things aside...I've had another item added to me schedule..that would be the PAC opening thingamajig. Quite hard to believe that after like what, months? the place has yet to be OPENED!! anyway, last dance practice I was super mentally tired, so I was having the hardest time catching steps and doing...wrong foot, wrong move, wrong turns, wrong timing....hopefully it gets better. it's gonna be practices in school until then. as for elections, yes... PAP won once more...no surprise there, but the opposition is closing in on them, so they gotta get their together. Cos it seems there are less people taking their bullshit anymore...haha...I shall be going to watch the simpsons now...NEW SEASON!!! weee!!! haha...I need so sarcsm and morbid humour right about now. ciao!!!

there is an impending long holiday...
=)
there's steamboat tonight...
=)
I'm like into PCD songs...I have no idea why...but they were just playing during warm-up during dance and it just made me move...so yeah...
today has been productive...I have done just about everything I set out to do...
the week ended off well with the possibility of me dancing for the PAC opening might...so I'm quite happy...I wonder if my contemp is better than my hip-hop or street jazz...if it is, then it is quite a pity i never picked up ballet, but not a big one..I very much appreciate and still love playing the piano. I'm quite happy with how the week went, I've been busy busy...so i feel good...I still need to find time to do my SATs practice...omg...that thing is seriously stressing me out big time. It's like no time to do anything...cos I'm busy...roight...
There's the prospect of cutting my hair tomorrow...which is good timing cos phototaking is like on tuesday, but I wanna spend time with baby...time together is so hard to come by and I'm not unhappy about it...I'm just...hmmm...not contented...satisfied? hence, why it is a good thing that I'm busy. but then again...nothing much can be done...we'll just have to wait...dum di dum...

Oh, my baby's sexy for sure
I had to have him when he walked through the door

it's tuesday...
haha...only the second day into the week...
today everything was just slow...I seriously thought the day would never end...
I mean the prospect of a 5 o' clock day is already devastating as it is...
anyway...the funnist moment today has to be about milo and cumar...omg...michael trying to get to cumar cos of something he did, and they were just moving round the class until finally cumar was stuck in the front and couldn't get back to his seat cos michael was in it.

C: "where's miss ang....I'm unhappy...she's late...(points to his watch) time to start lesson already"
(Michael's sitting in Cumar's place)
(clicking of heels at the stairs and miss ang appears)
C: finally!
(miss ang walks in)
A: what's going on?
C: why are you late miss ang...I'm unhappy
someone in class: michael wants to beat cuamr up...cos cumat did something to him
A: okay, I let you all finish first okay?
C: uh...no, miss ang...have to start lesson now...(points to his watch frantically)need to start lesson...very late already
(math lesson over)
(GP lesson over)
(Cumar starts packing and is on his way to the door, but michael beats him there)
someone in class: oh no...not again
mr hoi: why?
someone: michael wants to beat up cumar
mr hoi: oh...beat then beat lor...not my business what
(cumar looks at mr hoi 0_0)
(michael starts to close in on cumar and he mves)
mr hoi: cumar, why you so scared...you're from judo...michael's from canoeing, he can't do anything to you
C: mr hoi I think I need to get something from you...um...yeah...
mr hoi: okay...

haha...the exchange between the two of them was just damn hilarious in class...haha...anyway school is over and I am home typing away now. Should get down to doing work soon.
anyway, watched "so you think you can dance" on monday...it's on every monday at 7 on channel 5..and omg...artem and blake are like super hot. Like artem's body is amazing...the abs rae just THERE!! and when he dances ballroom (his shirt's usually open) the way his body moves is just amazing.

As for blake...he's just super good at lyrical...I swear when he dances it's like he transcends into a different world and he takes you along with him. His facial expressions are just so full, so indescribable....and when he spins( my god, he can spin...and the fouettes...whoo!!) he stirs so much emotion in you and he just hits everything so well...it just drives me crazy...it's things like this that make you so proud to be a dancer. Dance today is not just about sex and seduction, there's so much more to it than that...and it's these things that makes someone a great dancer...

oh...and I almost forgot..I got my first taste of ben and jerry's ice-cream today...yes, my first...there was like a free ben and jerry's ice-cream giveaway at certain outlets and the nearest one was like united square. Pity I finish at 5 today, but baby went down to get his share and brought some back from united square all the way back to school for me....If you ask me, I am inclined to say that was a super sweet (no pun intended) gesture and it's these little things that make me love him so much...muakz!! I love you baby!!!

so far this week...

I have yet to receive my egg...it is still easter...
shit happens...I mean it was that close man!!! stupid yellow box!!!!
the weather has been cold...I've been cold all day long...
and there's so much shit to do...
and I still want an easter egg...

so yeah...that's about it for now...ciao!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!!!

sorry I'm not there to celebrate with you...I really hope you like the wallet...haha...
dum di dum...the weather today is so nice...
nice and cool...
I think I like grey skies...I have no idea why...but I think it looks just as good as a blue on. well unless I'm hanging out the clothes...then maybe a blue one is preferable.
today's like intensice work day...just doing more and more work...
it's like the most boring thing to do...sleep, eat and work...
anyway...the week went rather well...i must say...
physics spa was not up to form...but hopefully I managed to smoke through. 2.4 run was fast enough for me to get a gold...I got luckyy by 2 seconds...haha...lessons are moving along...although a large majority are stagnant...which is rather infuriating if you ask me. But...we must all be patient.
I don't know...I just can't tell...have a I become somewhat impatient? or rather very impatient? I sense it at times...but perhaps it's a result of wanting to get things done quickly and fast or maybe it's because of the class, cos everyone is so slow...slow not meaing stupid...but meaning not doing the work...or just not paying attention, hence the impatience has arisen. I have no idea where it came from...or the source of it.
I've also been told that I've become self-centred. okay...um...to me...that seems exaggerated. and I really have no explanation because...I don't think I am. I mean...I like to get things done fast...but I do think about the situation, which is the class...so I haven't said or complained about anything. I really am confused by these comments...I don't think I'm in denial...I feel like I'm supressing myslef a whole lot due to these comments, cos after being said to me...I'm feeling rather self-coinscious.
um...roight
anyway tomorrow's EASTER!!!
weeee!!!
um...I want an easter egg...a big one...I don't care if the easter bunny doesn't exist...
I want an easter egg...

4 weeks into school...
so much has happened...good and bad...
I'm just feeling pissed and...I don't know...sad?
sometimes I think I'm just plain stupid to get into this...
I mean...it just makes me worry about things I'm not even supposed to be worried about and what makes it worse is I feel like I'm the only one who feels like this. which hence makes me feel even more stupid.
Everything is so unpredictable...I don't know what will happen tomorrow, I don't know when we'll quarrel next, I don't know when we'll start talking again if we quarrel, I don't know if we'll even be okay after that. I don't even know if he know's how bad it is. Ironically I feel so alone.
I feel so lost...I'm so worried...
he just can't see...

The hols are ending...so soon...
I wish it were longer...I'm always feeling so tired...
anyway...the week ws pretty good to me.
finished 90% of the homework I intended to do and have been spending much quality time with my baby before all the busy schedules from school roll in once more.

thursday...
HAPPY FIRST ANNIVERSARY baby....haha
yeah, it's been a year already and yet it doesn't feel that long. I guess in a way that's good... I mean it would not be good if it felt eons...haha...but I always love the time we spend together.
Baby and I played badminton in the morning at tp sports hall with sean, lisa, sean and deb...then baby and I went off to town to have lunch together at cafe cartel...we just sat around together after the meal and enjoyed each other's company. I like doing that...it just feels so comfortable...after that we just walked around orchard and then baby went for his class babrbecue.

friday...
met up with erika, ethel, nicm and perry. Haven't seen these people for soooo long...other than ethel...but it's been real long. had lunch at swensens and then we just sat around and talked The company was good...then bussed top baby's house to spend time with him.

today...
roight I am sick...like with flu-like symptoms...just without the incessant sneezing and stuff. woke up at 6am feeling absolutely crappy...went back to sleep woke up at 7.30 and then at 8.20 and then I just had to get up. Called baby cause I was feeling so bad....then went to have breakfast and then mummy drove me to papa's office where I did nothing but sleep and sleep and sleep. then mummy brought me home to rest and I slept somemore and now I'm here.

It's so unbelievable
And I don't wanna let it go
Its something so beautiful
Flowin down like a waterfall
I feel like you've always been
Forever a part of me
And it's so unbelievable
To finally be in love
Somewhere I never thought I'd be

the hols are finally here!!!
anyway the last week was as usual...
it was a bit crappy but there was some good stuff.
J1 orientation last week and I went to rockafellaskank with baby on friday...it was waaaaaaaaaaay better than last years...I mean there was so much good stuff this year...saw some old friends too..
saturday went out with baby and I went out with sean and lisa to settlers cafe to play some board games...I thought it was good. we played risk and upwords.
Went across the causeway yesterday to get my hair cut...have dinner and go shopping. Company was rather good...just mummy, daddy and I...quiet...haha...but giant was TERRIBLE!!! I mean school holidays...you got kids running around screaming, playing with toys on the shelf like they own it...riding bicycles around the shoppiing mall like they own it when they haven't even bought it...omg...parents should just stick them in the trolley, then we'll only have the screaming to worry about. I bought new pair of shoes too, a pair of nike sneakers...WHOO!! It pays to be a good daughter and do housework...though I don't get stuff most of the time like my sisters...but when I get it, it's damn good!!! haha...
today was quiet...spent it at papa's office...I've like finished half of almost every piece of holiday homework....dum di dum...watched some vcds and that was about it...I think I should change my desktop wallpaper REALLY soon...

muahahaha...me found for videos...this time from funkmania!!!
anyway...I know some of you people don't really wanna watch so i'll just put it at the very end of my post. I'm just gonna put some of my favourites, the picture quality isn't very good...made worse by the stage lighting for some of the performances...cos it's at nights and the stage lighting just kills the picture more.
onto today...

went to church today and I thought I looked damn good...haha...not something someone says to herself, but I just had to say it...haha...sent guin of at J8 after church and then went to have lunch at turf city and then shopping with mummy.
Got home, ironed the clothes I need to iron while watching 'japan hour' I LOVE that show...haha...today was like ramen overdose...I like have a super big craving for it now.finished ironing at about 4 and decided to take a nap. Like a 3 hour power nap...haha...woke up...had dinner and now I'm here.

there's school tomorrow and I don't really mind that. I just feel more secure if I go to school rather than stay at home with nothing to do but housework...I think I wish I could stay in school all my life...it's like such a comfort zone for me. but I like lots and lots of money too...haha...so i'll have to go work, cos I don't wanna be a tai tai, cos I'll be board outta my mind. That day nessie and I were talking about how we can be tai tais together and dress our kids up in branded kids apparel and hang out together. Problem being I don't wanna be a tai tai and I don't go well with kids. I like to be busy doing work and making loadsa money money...haha. dum di dum...

gotta now...so here's the vids from funkamania

street soul


fat mama crew


Indi dolls

There's something in your eyes
Something in your smile
Something in the way you move me
You make me want to sing
Make me want to dance
Make me want to cry
I'm falling in love with you

CT's are like finally over!!!
haha...and the hols are like coming soon...
after math...baby and I went out with sean and lisa. We walked around a bit...looksie looksie and baby attempted to repair the ipod that weijie gave him, however it was unsuccessful due to the warranty having expired at the beginning of the year. oh well, looked around the ipod shop...the aount of stuff you can come up with for a gadget and the money. an ipod nano sock costs $12...when I can just go buy a striped sock at some stall outside for like $2 or even less!!!
Had lunch at fish and co at wheelock...baby and I had the usual...complete meal with swordfish collar while sean and lisa had loadsa stuff haha...then we just went our separate ways. baby and I spent some quality time together.
today wasn't really interesting...at least what I did wouldn't interest you. just went top papa's office watched a couple of movies there and did some chem. I swear I love doing chem...it's the only thing I can do and the only thing I get excited about doing...stop staring at the computer screen like that...I'm serious. I've recently gotten hooked on 'The Calcium Kid', one of the earlier movies orlando bloom did...you know the guy who did legolas...haha...it's damn funny. I think the britsh are the only people who can appreciate funny...I just love the way the mother says massage...it's like mass-saaaaage...haha...my sis and I were playing around with the pronuciation during dinner...

btw..jeanette has found some videos from danceworks and they have INCANDESCENCE!!!!
1st in the preliminaries...GO CJC!!!!
they're going to be in the finals on 1st April so GO SUPPORT people...haha...still trying to see if they've got a video of my group (illuminate)...there's another one from RAW STILO!!!
they're from NYP...and they are damn good...omg...haha you have to watch it...the sounds not really good but that's not really an issue...enjoy...bon appetit!!!


Incandescence


raw stilo

Save me from this place
Heaven knows i'm falling
For you my sweet embrace
Heaven knows
Heaven knows I've been waiting

I realise that I haven't blogged for like more than 2 weeks...
been ab-so-lute-ly busybusybusy...
my phone's alarm clock rang at 6 and I woke up...shut it off and then said to myself..."what the *beep* why the hell did I set it at 6...it's freakin' sunday" and with my sleepy eyes I landed back onto the bed. suddenly I sat up and realised it's monday...omg...I was so damn tired...had bf...did all the usual stuff and then to school iw ent for NE and GP.
I swear i told so many of the dancers the story above...haha...they were all pretty dead...I think the first person I told was andrea and then I saw luke in the canteen and told him...haha...saw lisa in the morning and then sean and baby came to join us...
NE was like shit...I was just reading and not comprehending...what's that called? that's like brain dead...haha..anyway I shaded stuff and then onto the canteen to bum around and wait for GP. GP was a so screwed...I dunno what happened...maybe becuse I was tired or smthg but I was half dead at summary and I was dead at AQ....I just made some crap up which DID NOT even make sense to me AT ALL!!!!

Anyway...sunday and saturday was danceworks...haha...went down on saturday to support mel's group - incandescence. dum di dum....they got FIRST!!! just for the dance sugment but whatever muahaha...CJC dance rocks man....haha...sunday was us....and we won first of for the sandwich board....whoo!!!! I mean it was pretty DUH!!! none of the other sandwich boards could compare...haha...we didn't get into the finals but incandescence did...so people GO SUPPORT them on 1st April. Feels quite sucky to be beaten by a buinch of kids...but hey they were damn good...you should really see them, it 's the kind of thing you have to see for yourself and I guess at least we were beaten by a worthy opponent. after all the crying and stuff...went to wash up and then we hung around the shopping centre just talking and talking. We'd like talk and refuse to move and linger around...like we did oputside the toilet...it's just damn funny...haha. Finally decided to go pizza hut and have dinner...mrs koh's treat..haha and we drove her absolutely crazy the way we ordered food. It was a damn fun evening...constantly suaning each other and getting little doses of gossip from people, we were so loud the staff had to ask us to tone down a little haha...after that went home while the rest went on to venezia for more food.

got home bathed, packed my bag...ironed...did the sheets and I just headed to bed.

It's Friday, im feeling that I wanna party
So call up my friends and come on everybody
Gonna make it tight
Gonna make it alright

finally back home...
cooked, bathed and smelling oh so nice...
maths lect... I swear I dislike vectors, I could never get the hang of it in JC...it's like you know what's going on, but somehow you just don't know how to go about to doing it. It's ab-so-lute-ly frustrating you know!!!
anyway we had break at like 9am...the one and only break today, THIS is the one break I so disagree the time with...I mean omg!!! 9am?!?!? and you expect a frikkin' bowl of noodles to keep me full till then...I mean seriously maybe students in CJC are late for lectures due to the poorly timed breaks...so their just dying form hunger coming from the J-block...roight...I'm exaggerating.
GP was fun, as it always is...I was rather displeased to have it end. Then it was math...I like diferential equations...it's just so mechanical...but then again, mechanical, is what makes Singapore students so inflexible towards certain things.Then there was the issue on the stupid toto draw today...I didn't even know about it, apparently it's like 10million+++, so all the guys were just basically going on and on about how they'll not come to school if they win the money and all sorts of other stuff they wanna do....and it carried on into like chem pract...sigh...
chem lect... I stupidly stashed my carbonyl compounds with my whole organic chem pile at home and thought we were doing hydroxy...when we finished hydroxy before starting carbonyl!!!! stupid, stupid...
chem pract...the second hour was terrible..I mean...I hate copying stuff...ARGH!!! I was like late for dance by a half-hour...
DANCE....YESYES!!! MORE MORE...GIVE MORE!!! I need to remember that!!!

"It's better to die dancing, than to be roadkill"

It's not always easy and sometimes life can be deceiving
I'll tell you one thing
It's always better when we're together

it's THURSDAY...
so close yet so far...
I seruously want the weekened to come...
my body just feels so tired...
I just realised that CT is not far away which means I like should be getting down to studying like SOON!!!
The week's been quite okay just that I've been feeling really tired, so it just feels like I've been a little spun outta orbit but I'm still holding quite well so I think I'm quite amazing. Tests haven't been good so far...as usual...the usual stuff like happens and then I'm like a super goner during the test so, it usually doesn't come out good. I swear it's like crazy...there's at lest 2 tests a week...be it some shitty FA or CA...stupid crappy school system. Dance is stressful...not in a drive you crazy way but like...something that weighs in the back of your mind and you constantly have this notion that you NEED to do something about it. Actually that's kinda worse than if it were to drive you crazy. so yeah, need to learn eights fast...really fast!!!!
go gen, go gen...
more power, more strength, more energy...
AAAAAH!!!!!

Got my eyes on you
And I like what I see

so begins february...
oh well...
the past few days of school...was just so tiring...kept sleeping here and there in between and as well as during lessons. Just couldn't get enough sleep. Had 2 sessions of dance for danceworks which is like at the end of this month, my body is super tired now esp. my back...all the body waves and stuff.
Past 2 days have been chingay...went to to ushering to get com service hours...it was like the first time I ACTUALLY watched a chingay performance. First time I actually felt happy when I made someone smile...never used to be like that when I did CIP...maybe its because CIP mostly involved the old folks which I had absolutely no way of communicating in dialect with. There was this guy during the pre-show segment singing all the michael buble songs...omg...he was ab-so-lute-ly wonderful...he sounded so much like michael buble and he sang all the songs I like...haha. Chingay was actually good, with all the floats and lights and performances by all the different countries. Most were enjoyable...although the bosch float was extremely out of place...I mean what's with all the provocative dance moves....like everything was so cultural and ethnic and then this THING comes along with four women dancing like bartop dancers on a blue float. I found it super weird....like it didn't belong. Met baby later and then went to see the street party but I didn't wanna stay so he sent me home.
The house is quieter and less crowded...my relatives have all gone back to m'sia....I kinda like it this way, don't mean it in a bad way, I just don't like too many people in one place...I get quite irritable and exasperated and stuff....tomorrow there's school...gotta sleep early...-_-...

Can you tell, in my eyes
the happiness when you are in my heart
the joy you bring
makes me wanna sing
I love you and you mean the world to me

roight....
cny...I got more money than last year...haha

cny day 1:
okay...spent the day at my aunts house...my mum's side that is. Can't really remember what we did...mostly just getting hongbao and then lazing around watching TV. Not much hongbao from this side...seeing as my mum's side isn't much for size, then ate brunch and then we set off towards my paternal grandma's house in sepang.

It was a damn long ride...longer than I expected...I thought something like an hour or so...oh well...there was a tinsy-winsy jam. eventually we got there after driving around endless countrysides...or rather rural, yet not so much to that extent. Just lots and lots of wild grass and occasionally in the midst of all the grass, a house. anyway we reached the town and then went towards my tuai ma's house to see the EXTEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNDED part of my dad's family.

It was rather empty at first, but people started arriving slowly. Saw quite a number of familiar faces and remembered a few names here and there...exchanged greetings, got hongbao and then we headed to a restaurant to eat lunch. omg...lunch was like eating a cow for me...which is ab-so-lute-ly impossible. There was like herbal chicken, emperor duck, fish, dessert and like 5 or 4 more dishes and I was absolutely full. Then went back to tuai ma's house again and then hung around with...talked to some more people, watched people...and yeah it was quite like that. Daddy was like gambling playing black jack...haha.

The highlight of the day I suppose was when my auntie wendy came down with her new husband(I didn't even know she was married, let alone engaged), brian, in their new silver lotus which they acquired like 2 days ago. It was like, I dunno...um wah... but not WOW!!! you know, maybe I'm biased and only have eyes for a porsche, but seriously I just thought it looked good...something that would make heads turn, but to me not something I would wanna have. Anway, people just started touching, sitting inside it...blah blah...personally...if that were my car I would be crying...all the fingerprints and yeah you know...I wouldn't even bring it down.
Daddy carried on with black jack and then we 4 ladies went back to my grandma's house to just cool off...I mean it was just damn hot and stuff. napped and then went back at around seven.
dinner...was just different from previous years to me...not so rah rah...but anyway it happened, hung around a bit more after dinner until 10+ then went back to grandma's house, bathed and then to sleep.

many many mosquitoes.

cny day 2:
woke up...went down to tuai ma's place again...
had breakfast there...super heavy one at that...tuai ma just kept telling them to cook and cook...basically they were just reheating yesterday's stuff...so it was like dinner instead of breakfast. Somehow tuai ma was not convinced and just asked for more to be cooked.
quickly left the table and then sat around and talked to suntie winnie for a while and then set off to my paternal uncle's house to see their pink dragonfruit plantation. walked around there...looksie looksie and met their dog. She was sooooooooo damn cute...haha...she was so happy...running here and there, haphazardly....wagging the tail...haha...omg...everything about her was soooooooo cute..I wanna dog.
we left to meet my aunts and cousins for dinner and the new hong kong restaurant...it was a good dinner haha...I always like chinese food. The headed back home, bathed, talked to baby and then went to sleep.

and that wraps cny...I'm too tired to type anymore...so ciao!!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

gong xi fa cai
hongbao kuai na lai
hongbao hongbao kuai na lai

it's the eve of cny and hence I am back here in malaysia AGAIN!!
anyway school yesterday was olright...
i mean it was a normal day of lesson...
the cny concert went quite well....our first run for the J2s was bad...at least i felt it was bad. like I didn't really put anything in it. The second round for the J1s was a lot better, maybe because ryan was there? After that went back to the studio, changed...got all the make-up off and then went for class. Met baby after school and then he went for canoing and I went home to do housework. I like cleaned the fans...ironed the clothes, hung out the wet clothes and folded the rest. I felt so tired after that. had dinner...did a bit of DC circuits and then talked to baby and then went to sleep.

today, woke up and bascially mummy was in an absolute frantic mood to finish up all her unfinished business for cny and then get back here(m'sia). obviously mummy got into a fould mood, cos my stupid sister (as usual) was taking her own sweet time to do this and do that. I basically just stayed out of her way and did a tonne of stuff for her. Ironed more clothes...washed more clothes...hung out more clothes....and whatnots. finally got into the car and finally started off the journey. Was talking to baby after we cleared the singapore checkpoint but then the reception got cut-off cos i don't have that auto-roam thingie. oh well....

got here at like 4+ and then cousins came downhad dinner and now i'm just sitting here...typing...dum di dum...tomorrow will be more travelling..this time to my nai-nai's house, where I should meet many many people I do not really know. I mean, my dad's side is soooo big half the time I have NO idea who the people who come up to me and say "so big already arh?" or "why still so skinny" are. I just call them auntie. I can only remember the significant ones...more like the ones who actually talk to me or have distinguishing features i remember.

Sometimes I think my nai-nai feels lonely...I mean someone living in a three-storey house...all alone...I would feel lonely. even thought she can still walk to my tuai ma's house..she'd still come home to a somewhat empty house. She only sees us like once a year. She only sees her son and 3 granddaughters once a year. I dunno...sometimes i just feel that way. Anyway..hopefully tomorrow I will get many many hongbao from my aunties, seeing as my father's side of the family is so big. Then monday will be home and then school starts like on wed. I still have many many things to do...studying I mean...but I just feel so tired...I just want to sleep and sleep and sleep.

I want a hug so bad....

I felt that today moved really slow...
haix...
I feel so tired and any amount of sleep just doesn't seem to help AT ALL!!!!
chem lect was where I started sleeping...I mean seriously there wasn nothing to even copy let alone listen to. EVERYTHING was in black and white...I mean I could just learn all this stuff at home...
then pe...this was fun, maybe cos during frisbee my team was just trashing everyone and the funny part was just paki falling on his ass...haha...he just does it so well...haha...
then the day just passed...
went to the dance studio after class and then slept there for a while and then practice started with all the cleaning...and yeah...everything was soon sorted out...now i just need my black shoes...
met baby and then he went home first and then i took a bus home...bathed, cooked and now I'm here. I still feel soi tired...I still need to eat and then do my work.........................

I just don't get it...you just have no idea where the line is. I mean you don't just take over....it's just plain rude...you just have to be in control, like some control freak. Then when someone just asks you to keep your comments to yourself you just interpret it as like some rude remark when you're the one who was in the wrong.
You're such a hypocrite. I mean you tell people it's like this it's like that, not like that and then when someone asks you to do it...you just suck yourself into your "shell" and act like some good humble person and you tell the world...I'm not good, I suck so bad.... well let me tell you...I just hate it...in fact I'll just say that I cannot stand it. If you think you're so good, and that you're right then why is it when you're asked to show it...you're such a coward...PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS!!! come on....don't give all that bull...i'm not good enough...it just annoys people.
The way you totally disregard people and then only take into account those you think are "worthy" to give you advice...I don't know...it's like you think you're better than everyone and only certain people are fit to be around you. I mean how can you live like that????
I don't really have anything else to say...maybe it's just me...but somehow it's gone on for far too long and I don't kow if I'll regret saying/typing this one day but thank God I won't be around much longer.

dum di dum...
been lazy to blog the pass few days...haha...
anyway last week, FUNKAMANIA...omg...I swear I so wanna dance like that...I mean one day I wanna. I'm like a far way off...I catch stuff fast, it's just a matter of getting everything cleaned up and adding more energy...it's motivation...and I WILL get there. They're just unbelievable...I mean the way their bodies move looks damn easy, but when you try you realise it really isn't and there's a need of a tonne of control which I lack because I just DO NOT have any muscles to aid in any such control.

this week...
it's been pretty smooth sailing...my stamina for studying is still there...the motivation to clear-up all doubts and make sure I know everything I need to is still there...then there's the future where I MIGHT just let-up on all this stuff and land myself in the most unwanted predicament...so I need to be a super-nerd this year and still have like a tinsy-winsy bit of a social life. dance has been prepping for cny and I'm in the jazz group which is good, cos that's what i wanted and I have to admit I think my jazz is somewhat better than hip-hop and dance has cost me a couple of blue blacks on my knees...haix....
PE...monday was frisbee, I just like this game and thursday was like killer..I mean running and running which seriously made my thighs hurt so bad I had diffriculty going down the stairs...tried to stretch it out but to no avail so I'm just letting the pain wear off. I'm starting to feel the weight from school, it's starting to take a toll on my time and whatever I wanna do....haix...

yesterday...
went out to meet baby after his training and then we went walking to try to find my black shoes but then um...yeah we didn't get it cos we just came to a rather easy solution for the lack of nice cheap black shoes. then went to study...had dinner and then went to watch memoirs of a geisha...itwasn't bad...in fact I quite liked it, now all I have to do is just to read the book to complete the circle...haha...now I have to do my physics...

ciao!!!

Fall on me
Tell me everything you want me to be
Forever with you
Forever in me
Ever the same

today was a rather good and enjoyable day...
haha...
had commencement ceremony in the morning to like officially start the year and stuff...
which ate into our chem lect, which is good, cos yeah....chem already has a lot to take in and I haven't quite got the hang of trying to get a permenant space for all the reactions and their conditions in my oh-so-small brain.
anyway lessons started like at 9am and it was physic lect...so i got to see baby...yumyum...haha...although i wasn't much for talking. after that break and then 2 hours of what was supposed to be pract, however it turned out to be a tutorial session. omg...it was the worst thing ever...okay maybe not cos I was actually trying to understand and all that stuff...but once my brain got so tired and loss the momentum...I got sleepy...but stuff still kinda got in. then it was math lect...baby again...haha...I get to see him in 2 out of my four lectures this year...haha...which is good...dum di dum...integration by substitution, you're probably like this---> 0.0 now but I guess...it's okay.
then CCA...dance was a good session today...we had like 88 juniors so we had to like split them into shifts...the auditions were good. saw some rather good dancers and of course that can't, those that have potential and those that were just a lot of fun to watch. there was this real skinny cat high guy, douglas, omg...he was like so cute...haha...his legs looked like they were going to break under his weight...haha...and his freeestyling was like those retro-shake-your-ass moves...was so cute. we had like many many guys...like 98% from SJI and christian came too..haha...I mean guys is good...we have like so little and they were pretty spontaneous on the freestyling...all the breakdancing and stuff came out...so it was really cool.
went to the grandstand to look for baby...talked to jo and omela for a while and then baby and I went home at 7....
bathed and now I am here...should be going to finish my homework NOW!!!

I'm so happy it's holiday...
I could get used to 4 days of school a week...haha...
anyway...it's been raining non-stop...i would think the weather is great if only I were actually at home to enjoy it and not in school freezing my butt off...
I just get cold real easy...
anyway...played frisbee for pe yesterday...boy it was fun...no, seriously...the ground was like cavingin under our feet cos of the rain and we were just running all over the place on it. For the first time, you hear guys complaining about their shoes getting dirty. junlonf was like skidding on the wet mud all over the place...cos it was just impossible to run...properly.
today...I'm just at home...
tackling unfinished business and who knows what I'll do later...
I'm still in holiday mood...not feeling like doing any work or anything that would require my brain to do some deep and referencing for that matter...
I just wanna cuddle up in my blanket and just sleep the whole day away or go out somewhere..I don't know where...but somewhere...dum di dum...

well, the week's been swell...
I mean I end at like 4 on tues and wednesday was just fun at CCA pasar...
all the dancers were super hyped...the orientation dance went real well, we danced once in the audi and once in the quadrangle...then it started to rain, drizzle...then we did like this year and last years mass dance in the in the middle of nowhere...however today was a damn waste of time....I mean there's like only 2 lessons today...2 hours...
pe was just height weight taking...I have suddenly become rather indifferent towards my height, i have just become accustomed to the fact that i am never going to grow anymore and that I'm rather comfortable where I am...not too short, not too tall. weight-wise...maybe not so indifferent, I like gained 500g...haha...and majority of the guys in my class wanted to be in like the 60s...I have no idea why though.
here's why it was a waste of time...we had like a 2 hour break to do nothing...there's was like a 1 hour free period and a 1 hour break as well, so I could have come home earlier at like 12.30 without the free period...instead of 1.30...
oh well...
school's been rather kind for now...integration is still manageable, organic chem is so going to be a killer for me...wtf. I just haven't gotten used to the different coloured uniforms walking around school...I know I've been there...but it just...yeah, never mind. ethel was in baby's group...she seemed quite happy and stuff, causing baby some chaos...haha...I heard a lot from him.
I've been worrying a lot this year(and it's only been 5 days...) my mind's like 9 months ahead or something and it's not exactly imagining the prettiest picture...omg...I'm a super worry wort....I just can't stop it. I'm such an asshole. -_-... I'm thinking about so many things...now if I had things to do I wouldn't be thinking about other things too much.
dum di dum.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
okay...i have no idea why i'm so excited...
i mean since my stomach is like feeling rather, or should it be extremely empty and the smell from downstairs is EXTREMELY distracting...yum yum.
anyway...i'm at home...yes...and I actually fgot up to go to church...
well, not without the usual multiple entries from various people singing the same song..."wake up!!!!" so yeah...we got to church. the wonder being that i didn't fall asleep, after all last night was a long night. Or maybe it was because of the man sitting next to me, cos he looked like a super 'god' person and I probably pictured him shaking his head in disapproval or being ratehr annoyed at the fact that I had fallen asleep in church. perhaps it was due to the fact that i was freaking cold, having worn a skirt. anyway...it ended and we went for lunch at warren. I had fish and chips and yeah...we ate...came home...lazed around...hung out the clothes and wrapped up the rest of the homework. (I seriously hope permutations is forgotten.....)

anyway now for the more exciting part...weeeee!!
YESTERDAY!!!
anyway I spent the first part of the day doing housework and stuff...ironing...blah blah blah...anyway I left the house later than planned and I was late. Actually I wouldn't have been as late as I was if it wasn't raining. It may have helped...cops I couldn't see where i was on the bus so I had to call in help, but i landed at marina and baby came to pick me up. haha...baby dressed up nice too...he had on this brown dress shirt and pants and the shoes he went to buy with his daddy in the morning...i liked the whole ensemble, made him look really good. Anyway, we went to look for sean and lisa, cos apparently sean got hungry....found them in coffee club and baby and I shared a mocha ice. then we went walk walking. the guys went to play a little arcade, i think i should learn to play some someday...i mean baby likes to play it so much and i'm usually quite unwiling cos i don't really like arcades...but i think there's no harm. then we walked somemore...walked into many mAnY MANY stores...to look at a lot of stuff we didn't buy. then we went to olio to have dinner.
dinner was really good. The food was rather filling, although sean would beg to differ. then we just sat and talked and gossiped a little (really!!!!). it was so much fun. talking about our secondary school days. lisa and baby talking about the elitist life and sean and I talking about our rather normal life in SJI and IJ...haha...the things we found out...omg...sean and I were so blown away. haha...all the little tactics they employ...omg...sean and i never knew the elitists had in them to cheat and stuff...even SLEEPING in class...haha...although baby does it quite often ( i mean the sleeping). Then it was more walking...a lot of walking...walking and talking...it was so nice to spend time like that. We like walked from suntec to city hall then to chijmes then to a lot of places. The roads were rather empty though...and if there were cars it was full of people who were absolutely high on the new year mood. Baby bought 2 bottles of beccardi for th 4 of us to share and lisa and I got absolutely red....haha...then the guys just stopped us from drinking. after walking somemore we parted ways and we left sean and lisa and baby and I walked to the bus stop and we both went home from there.
got home, bathed...drank some sparkling fruit juice...watched a bit of narnia (again...) then talked to baby and to sleep. =)

this year was in a way a rather fulfilling year. Filled with a whole lot of ups and downs, having experienced the peaks of both. perhaps it was baby that made all the difference. He's helped me so much...been my mental and physical support throughout the year.
I'll admit I never saw much in him except a worthy opponent in the academic arena...but somehow he managed to move me and life has been good to us. We've had our quarrels, disagreements, seen a lot more of each other, both good and bad, through the year that we've known each other. His care and concern for me has never wavered, with me always coming first before him especially when I'm sick. I will never forget the time i got angry at him for buying a towel for me to make a cold pack when I was running a fever and the time he rushed all the way to my classroom when I was having that humongous tiff with my mum, not forgetting that he stayed with me too. He also gives me a sense of reality, very frank, especially when I get frustrated about things...he just always seems to point out how silly I am to get angry cos it really isn't as complicated as I make it out to be. It ruffles my feathers a little, but in the end I always know that he's right. a lot of the people I know say how lucky I am to have found someone like him and I know I am.
The times we study together is another thing I treasure...he has somehow been able to make studying and As possible for me. He just breaks down walls of impossibilities and turns them around...he always seems to be able to make me see the 'light'...haha...
I suppose that in this relationship I've grown quite a bit, now that there are 2 of us and not just me. Although, I may feel that I still lag behind in this area...I seem to may have made progress...haha...and i will be able to match up to him someday on this. I have yet to reach his level where I make a conscious effort to think of him whenever i do things. I mean for him it just seems so automatic...so I feel a bit guilty about it.
He has made me see a new perspective of life and brought me to a new level of joy andmade me cry in a way that I have never experienced in the past 16 years of my life. so baby here's to you...
I hope we spend many birthdays, christmases, new years and whatever there is together. =) you make me feel whole...