I've been looking for that special one
I've been searching for someone to give my love
And when I thought that all the hope was gone
a smile, there you were and I was gone

dum di dum...
tuesday....
my turn to have lessons...
so math trigo approx was just a plain waste of my time...just sit there and listen to missang. after that had maintenance duty...sweep the audi and the audi extension, pack the chairs nicely and neatly...guys went to carry stuff. left and then 154 and 67, bused all the way to CCK. went up and ben's sister was still there...so had lunch and then spent some quality time with my baby when his sister left. then did some chem...which demopralised me some and then left. LRT to bukit panjang, waited damn long for the 970 and then bused all the way home. prepared dinner, bathed and then had dinner, read papers and now I am here. thinking of doing some physics later, why does my whole left hand feel somewhat sore and yet numb?

monday....
baby had class today...talked to him some before that...then went out to return my sisters book at TP library and borrowed one for myself...so I'm a sucker..I couldn't resist. then 105 back to CJ and met him to go to town for movie.
watched MADAGASCAR...madahooha?!?! MADAGASCAR...haha..damn funny...it was really good. was like, went to order the tickets...the women at the counter said something and my baby said 'yes' so I was like 'what?' then he said 'couple seat' I wa like LOST for a nano second there. like...wth...like gen...suddenly realised that she's attached...hmmmmm. went in the cinema...it was just damn weird...sitting at the back with um...people who were just, how should I say this...IN to each other. show started...I think...in that row...um...only the 2 of us were actually WATCHING the show and not each other...yeah...ahem. the show was good I mean...melman the giraffe was just a plain hypochondriac, Alex the lion was just egoistic, gloria the hippo was just all...counsellor like and marty the zebra was just so confused if he was white on black or black on white. The penguins were um...how should I describe it...psychotic...bent on just getting out and military-like and stuff...the lemurs..well the king was just eccentric but there was this WEE LITTLE one...which eyes took up 3/4 of it's body, soooooo huge and CUUUUUUUUUUTE!!! haha...was so enjoyable there...
my baby took me to the bus stop and then I got on 77 to go home, he went for training.
Got home...trigo, rest for a while, more trigo. fold clothes...prepared dinner and then watched the documentary on da vinci code and talked on the phone. desperate housewives...then to sleep for school tomorrow.


madagascar 

sunday...
it's raining heavily...well that was just now..it's just pouring and it's cold. sitting here typing with my ever so colourful blankie.
woke up...had my cornflakes for bf and then went to change to get to church. so happens that the service for the youths was in the MGS dance studio...it was small.what can I say...how can those people actually dance in there...soooooo small...c'mon even my IJ's dance studios is sooooooo much bigger compared to that, and we're not really in very good circumstances, given we are in a holding school. bible competition, genesis...I'll just say we weren't the last; we saved oyrselves the humiliation of that.
after that went to TC to go shopping at giant then went to have lunch. yu pian mee fen...haha...it was good, I like it. came home..hung up the clothes and sheets to dry and then cleared the shopping. mummy came home and I went to do the sheets for my bed, talked to my baby for a while and then he went off to queens way to buy his shoes and I to the table to start on functions 1.
so functions got the best of me...I just can't do the restriction stuff...don't ask me why or how...I just cannot do...I shall try again later...dum di dum. going to cut hair tonight...I am damn happy about it..my hair is just long and ugly and irritating the hell outta me, so I shall be back late tonight. school, school, school for the next week...oh well, extra lessons, JC is JC, oh well.
dunno how to say this but...hmmmm...maybe talking on the phone too much is bad...i mean...too much of each other is going a bit overboard. we should tone down a little....after all we do see each other in schooleveryday, maybe going back to canoeing and dance is good...then we both got time for our own stuff and time to do stuff without each other. we shall see...
it is very cold here...


Wine


?? Which Alcoholic Drink Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

I just have to say this...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERIKA!!!

sorry I can't be there to give you a huuuuuuuge hug, cos I miss you so much...
friday...
technically the beginning of the school hols and the end of school for a month...
the beginning of studying for CT...for the first time in my life I am going to be studying during the june hols...and the temptation to start playing and relaxing is there. may be I should go on hiatus SOON...I WILL do it. just a matter of when I want to start.
today...GP...actually started with listening compre.at 1200 in hall extension. it was freezing...one reason why I like the sweater...and the smell of it was just..um...heavenly? how 'bout nice =). listening of okay except for the 2nd piece...stupid thing talking about global warming or 'cooling'...so it was talking about. it was like 'I think I heard the word zhou qi, and since I don't really get what the woman-slash-man is talking about I shall shade B' after that, went to see my baby to tell him about the major problem. 1pm went back for GP...compo...it was like writing a geog essay. tourism...I just love that...was like digging through the file cabinet of stale memories and it was like 'omg...so many things to talk about'...not bad...afraid I got too much into listing instead of linking. compre...I think time management wise I was good...finished my AQ...I think that since I was able to finish my AQ was an accomplishment for me, but answer quality wise...maybe only average. went to the library to wait for my baby to finish his maintenance duty and then went to orchard.
from far east, walked to PS...quite a long walk but it wasn't so bad with company =). walk, walk and walk...met some people or rather heard and saw. look, look and look...don't have what i want...wen to kopitiam satisfied my craving for mee hoon kueh and my baby had ban mian. then went to walk some more...then decided to head home. caught 77, got a seat and home I went. bathed and then called to company my baby on his bus ride and now I am here.

And I'm surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel alone
Oh, let go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

thursday...
woke up to this terriblly annoying sound...
which I realised 10 seconds later that it was my own phone...
and I realised 10 seconds later that I set the alarm for 7.45....
got up...bf..dressed...and had some fun with my sis in the morning, just being retarded and just basically debating about the issue on fornicating shorts...nvrm...
daddy gave me a lift to the bus stop and talked to my baby until the bus came. gen was stupid, gen has to realise that she ALWAYS needs a jacket as long as she's entering an air-conditioned place...and what did gen do? she didn't bring one...yes...so a cold ride to CCK.
got off and met my baby at the bus stop and then went to study for gp....actually...cleared all the taped shows today and then some more stuff. went to do gp...vocab stuff...then lunch was porridge. he cooked. it was good.
more gp...more gp...as well as some breaks in between.
stopped at 6 and then to LRT to go to bukit panjang interchange. the bus park was full...it's good so my baby says.
wait....
wait...
176...
180....
925...
176 again...
925 again...
180 again...
184...
176 again....
after eons...970...got on and home I went. got home, changed the monitor...so I can do what i am doing now, or basically just to use the comp. I bet none of the briliant heads in this house ever thought of that...mwahahahaha....or rather they were just waitint for some ass to do the work so they can use it later. soooooooo..I guess that makes me the ass...roight....WONderful. daddy came back...cooked dinner, sambal stingray tonight again...yumyum. washed up all the stuff...mummy came home and I went to bath. now I am typing VERY fast so I can make it in time to watch chase...if there is...maybe I shouid check...dum di dum. well I guess not...so I can slow down...however I'm coming to the end of the post. right you can jump for joy or punch the air...whatever. need to DO somthing for gp tonight...feeling uneasy. listening compre tomorrow too.....oh crap...I'll just go worry myself to death or something.

baby I love you & I'll never let you go
but if I have to boy I think that you should know
all the love we made can never be erased
and I promised you that you will never be replaced

baby I love you & I'll never let you go
but if I have to boy I think that you should know
all the love we made can never be erased
and i promised you that you will never be replaced

I love you
yes I do

I'll be with you as long as you want me to
until the end of time
from the day I met you I knew we'd be together
and now I know I wanna be with you forever
I wanna marry you and I wanna have your kids
it can never compare to the feeling of your kisses

I can say I'm truly happy to this day
you've made me think I gotta live my life everyday
there’s never been a doubt in my mind
that I regret ever having you by my side

but if the day comes that I have to let you go
I think there's something I should probably let you know
I enjoyed everyday that I spent with you
and I will miss you but im happy that i had you at all

baby I love you & I'll never let you go
but if I have to boy I think that you should know
the love we made can never be erased
and I promised you that you will never be replaced

baby I love you & I'll never let you go
but if I have to boy I think that you should know
the love we made can never be erased
and I promised you that you will never be replaced

you will never be replaced

I feel for you yes i do
I'll be with you as long as you want me to
until the end of time

saturday...
woke up at 8.30...lay in bed until...almost nine?
yeah...mummy and my sis were still at home...
dum di dum...had like 4 lumon biscuits and an apple for bf, then went on to file my stuff and doo all sorts of stuff which tied me down till 10.45, when I decided to hang out the clothes. daddy called and I was supposed to go to the office...haix...hung out the clothes, got dressed, packed my stuff and then got into the van.
was there for quite a while...did trigo...read some of the gp readings and then tried to do circular motion.
my baby came at 2.30...had lunch and then got on to gp....the whole day was just gp...but the day was good...
he went at 7pm...then I locked up and left at 8pm...walked home, bathed and now I am here. baby's watching soccer...arsenal vs man u. personally, I hope man u win....haha...well, gots no cable here...too bad for me. shall go eat dinner and do more work...

today...sports carnival....
woke up and met ben on the bus to go to SMU for the thingie...
assembly stuff and then track events started...
dum di dum....
sunny oh so sunny...haha...sat around for a while with my baby...talk talk talk...then went to the hockey pitch for my ultimate frisbee.
started at like 10.30, behind schedule as expected.
First one with T04...won, forgot what the score was...then T17...think we won that too...so waited for the finals...
Finals...played against T21...lost that one...they were good I heard...so played T15 for 3rd place but we still lost...so we got fourth in the end. watched a bits of softball...khai pitching is good, or hows 'bouts we just say he's good at softball...but T34 won his class. watched a bit of basketball...the girls one that is....a bit pathetic...haha...the guys did well though...champions..yay!
then went to MPH for closing stuff...it was just pure torture man...imagine sitting in a non-air-conditioned place, with poor ventilation, with about 1000 plus sweaty people...it was horrible..hot stuffy and just plain unbearable. The dance performance was good...a few surprises here and there...prize presentation...yadayadyada...oh boy...for some reason miss smith was just making USELESS commentary. finallt got let off and then walked to the other bus stop with my baby so as to get a seat on the bus...got on 67 and to CCK we went.
Ate hokkien mee...this time without a craving...went back to his house and we watched hitch...from where we left off or rather when we both got distracted. The rest of the day was just wonderful...haha...took 970 home from bukit panjang interchange...almost missed my stop...luckily got up in time and realised in my sleep confusion. Came home...bathed...cooked dinner and now I shall go eat...then go talk to my baby...haha! ciao peeps!


I don't know what happened today,
maybe it was a misunderstanding.
on my part or yours?
I hope it doesn't matter.
I don't hope we don't quarrel anymore,
I just hope that after every one,
we'll learn to cherish each other more.
I am sorry if I wronged you
in any way today
I am sorry if I made things difficult for you
I am sorry if I put you in a spot
I just want you to know
I love you and
I will continue to cherish you
for as long as we are together

I am damn pissed larh...PC went for upgrading...so using daddy's comp.
haix....I can't access so many things from here...
I can't access my baby's blog...need to go through his blog account and I can't read so many of my friends blogs which work on the....how to say...you know how some blogs have links which open in a small frame in the blog...and then you click the links and only the stuff in the frame loads and refreshes. yeah...all those blogs which work on that...somehow the comp just doesn't load...WTF...
I can't check my mail too....as in I can go into the inbox but I can't open the blooooody mail....I swear this comp is allergic to hotmail and ^those kind of blogs. WTH...
well today was quite good...math test sucked...didn't even manage to finish a SINGLE question...angry about that....I need to speed train....SERIOUSLY. physics was A LOT, tonnes better, thanks to my baby for helping me out so much...GP was fun today...derrick hoi and his stories...dum di dum....
still irritated....rightsss....shall go read his blog...eat dinner and watch CSI. I am SO taking a break...although I don't think it's well deserved on my part =(. sambal stingray here I come....

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide


monday, monday....
rain, rain...
sooooooooooooo nice to sleep in.......
however there is still something called school......
got to school later than usual...pract first period, huge delay....found out that a cardboard card doesn't oscillate as well...oh well everything solved in the end.
math next period...trigo...i still hate it. although it's quite easily accomplished....after some thought...
break...sat with cyn, frankie and ben...we were all eating..yes...frankie ate something!!!
chem lect....gaseous state...dum di dum...GP...did quite well for compre...better than I thought I would...break again...and then chem test...oh well....everything went okay...but I think it's not as good as it seems. waited for ben and then went home...and now i am here.
sunday
went to ben's house to study...did physics and a bit of math. the whole day was just heavenly..haha...in a way, maybe a lot of ways. so, we saw each other everyday of the week.
saturday
went out for the usual study...united square...had hotcakes....yumyum...I miss the honey. then went to novena fish and co.to have lunch. ethel came, then perry and her sister plus some weird girl cheryl. debbie and cheryl were just talking and laughing about um...all sorts of things. it was strange...very...i was rather lost and they were just so or rather too giggly. fish and chips all around, erika had some teriyaki salmon thing...and i had the humongous swordfish collar....3 pieces of it, the size of my hand, no....gen's not kidding, gen's not stupid and gen's still sane. very sane. How can a person...A person, meaning ONE person, eat 3 pieces of that and chips plus stewed veggies...it's virtually impossible!! anyway, left to go back and study. study study study...and then home I went. =)

thursday....
things have gotten lotsa better...
patched up with my mummy, got my phone back =) and no more mad rush to get stuff done for the campaigning...it's all in God's hands now...and yeah, trigo still sucks for me...
home early for once...I'm just so tired, wanted to get home and clear all my stuff...homework and catch up on sleep, although I think that's not possible since I need to finish up my book.
PE today was aiight, just running and then weights in the gym...break and then math tutorial, more trigo and then math lect, the LT was just cold, too cold for my liking. I was shivering in my jacket...more trigo...haiz....then physics lect, I always like physics lect =). By now I was wearing 2 jackets, one for my upper body and another to cover my legs....cold, cold,cold....Mr low....circular motion...he's a lot better. then to voting, then to sit outside class with my baby to talk. 1 hour physics tute, which I will need to run through once again due to having fallen asleep.
Took a bus home and bathed, now I'm here....


sorry baby...I wanted to wait too...but I was so tired...I'm sorry. Friday will be good okay?

On the way down
I saw you, and you saved me from myself
And I won't forget the way you loved me
And on the way down
I almost fell right through
But I held on to you



well..it's sunday.
another week gone by...somehow...I dunno, i just feel damn sad, like UNHAPPY...yeah. maybe very unhappy...
this week was...I'll just say, eventful...all started on thursday morning. somehow I thought, in a way I could have salvaged it and yet I think that I wasn't very much in the wrong. There's only so much I can go to till I break, and yeah...she just was never there for me when I did the last few times. everytime I tell her something...she just mocks me and makes me feel stupid and then we quarrel...and everything becomes so unpleasant. I guessed she didn't want me all pampered and stuff, so she treated me that way...so since I didn't wanted all that mockery and quarreling and stuff I just stopped telling her stuff...I dunno...was it wrong?
She knows help a lot around the house, she always says she knows I do...somehow, what comes out of her mouth don't reflect that. It may not seem like much to you...but it sure means a lot to me. I know how hard she works and stuff, that's why I do it and then she goes and says that I just do it because I HAVE to do it...and then she says she doesn't need me to do anything. There are 3 of us...I could just be like them and just sit around like some ass and just wait for someone to do it to...it's damn easy for me, anyone could do it. if you're gonna say you don't need me....fine, then go ask one of the two of them to do it, after what you said to me in the car, I'll just take it as you now only have 2 daughters...so go ask one of them to do SOMETHING for once and stop just taking up space in this house and let me do whatever I want. Or practice what you preach, put your money where your mouth is, and do it yourself like you said you would. after all, you said you don't need me.
I make mistakes...I'm human...I repeat my mistakes at times...I'm human. people don't change overnight...and I am a person...then maybe you should not expect anything of me anymore...cos I fear disappointing you and myself.
You have this mental image or mindset about me that I'm some ungrateful person and someone who couldn't care less about anything or anyone...but then if you ACTUALLY THINK again...it just doesn't hold water after all that I have done. You have no idea how much respect I have for you, I am proud of my upbringing, proud that I you are mother and proud of what you have taught me, how to carry myself. You have done so many things that not many mothers could ever accomplish...table manners, eating vegetables...I dunno...in fact, there's too many to name. you have no idea...how I feel...so I would APPRECIATE it very much if you NOT TELL me how I feel. I wrote it down...you didn't want to read it and you didn't want to believe it when I said it...I just don't know what to do anymore. I would say I've done all I can in this case.


happy mother's day


thank you so much for being there for me...it meant a lot